Now Who's Talking? 2

By Des Lynam, OBE

Are you ready for round two of Now Who’s Talking? Des Lynam returns with more animal antics in this second collection of conversations, once again illustrated by Bryony Hill. This time, they’re heading to the farm and the zoo to eavesdrop on an even wider variety of animals, ranging from ferrets and turkeys to flamingos and crocodiles.
Just as in the previous volume, Des gives voice to the animals in a way that mirrors their behaviour in the real world, while at the same time offering some intriguing insights into their interactions with us humans. As ever, Des’s words are perfectly complemented by Bryony’s imaginative yet realistic drawings.

‘Full of charm, novelty, and wit – just like the man himself.’ Susie Dent
‘I loved Des’s voice. It was always one of my favourites to imitate (“Wine ’em… dine ’em… Lynam”). Now the old master’s found a whole range of voices and applied them to the birds and animals in his garden and beyond. Whimsical, witty, imaginative –  and great fun.’ Rory Bremner

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jul 21, 2023
• ISBN: 9781035835812

Des Lynam, OBE

Des Lynam OBE spent a long  career as a sports broadcaster, mostly with the BBC. Lately he has turned to writing, of which this little effort is an example… Bryony is the wife of Des’s great friend and colleague, the late Jimmy Hill.

Book preview

Now Moo’s Talking?

One Mule

"Well, it might look as though I have no friends here, but I’m part of the farm family.

In fact, I think you’ve already met my mum and dad. Even if you haven’t been speaking to them, I’m sure you have seen them. Dad is the larger of the two donkeys and Mum is that athletic pony over there.

They got together last year and I wouldn’t be surprised to find I will have a brother or sister soon. That would be good, because I get a little lonely sometimes. In the meantime, one of my jobs is to look after the sheep and cattle. The alpacas do the job sometimes but dogs or foxes aren’t too scared of them... but when they see me, they’re out of here.

The other animals call me Muscles the Mule."

Two Owls

Have you heard it?

Heard what?

There’s some rustling in that hedge at the end of the field. Could be dinner time.

How do you know? I couldn’t hear anything, and that hedge must be a couple of hundred yards away.

You’re very young. You’ll get used to it as time goes by. Your hearing will stand you in good stead when you need something to eat. Follow me… Thought so, it’s a field mouse. You can have it.

I couldn’t possibly. You caught it.

Go on. Down in one.

Delicious.

Right, back to the nest and sleep till it’s dark, then the hunting starts for real.

Two Quail

Look at them strutting about. Good job they’ve put that barrier between us. Remember when we were in the same pen? We never got on with them. The worst bit was they kept stealing some of our eggs and eating them, shells and all.

The thing is, we can fly better than them so, if the fox or some other aggressor gets into our pen, at least we have the escape route in the air.

They might be a bit bigger than us, but I’m glad I’m not a chicken.

We’re definitely better looking.

Two Water Buffalos

I’m glad we’ve been moved to this enclosure.

"Yes, me too. I was being eaten alive by ticks and