As I See It

By Chantel Pinckney

This is the first poetry series released by author Chantel Pinckney after a hiatus of ten years. "As I See It" contains a wide range of short stories and poems about grief, motherhood and self-written quotes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9781329368064

Book preview

As I See It

By C. Pinckney

Copyright © 2023 Chantel Pinckney

All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-329-36806-4

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the memory of my grandmother- Juanita S. Washington. Thank you, Granny. For all the years that you opened passages with 1,000 words or more and read it all, to give me your opinion. Thank you for always letting me sit on the edge of your bed at a moment’s notice to read a new poem to you. I’m keeping my promise- to always write more.

Love,

Your Chookawooks

Table of Contents

As God Intended

11/8/22

Words.

The Point in A Diss

HOME

POH-AH-TREE

Sometimes

Free-Ish

It’s Just Me

HUMAN.

Quote I

Mama

Accounted

To The Friend Who Is No Longer My Friend

Inevitable

I FEEL YOU.

DAY BY DAY.

SELF.

Edit

How?

Quote 2

So, We’re Here

Do Tell

Show Up

INSIDE THE LINES

The Leftovers

Breaking

The Woman Who Loved

Deprived

Quote 3

Nights to the Feeling

Just For Me

FALL

Normalcy

Show Up

Bridge Burned II

HERE.

BAD TIMING

MOMENT

The Fade Out

Quote 6

Weeds (TTM)

Safe Spaces

Seven Coffins

Sun

Where Does Time Go?

Hunger Has a Name

Streetlights

To Noah…

The Reunion I Wished I Was There to See

New & Eternal

MORE

Fresh

Pleasure

Prepared

Quote 7

As God Intended

Individual, you are as God intended.

Different, specifically and wonderfully made.

Weird, they call you- when you are simply unique.

Your own face could mirror someone else's, but that mole behind your left earlobe could only be yours.

Even doppelgangers are a marveled difference- at almost being the same.

And in our experiences- is there anyone out there who has tasted the same pain we have?

Same circumstance?

Same plot?

Same timeframe?

No.

As individual as we are, so are our plights and paths and journeys.

With personalities like a fingerprint.

Every experience was painted just for us.

Each journey to bring us straight to God & more to bring us closer- just as He intended.

11/8/22

I'd never blacked out in a moment of deep sorrow before.

Twice within an hour.

In great fear of the inevitable and then, in even greater fear with immediate confirmation that it had come to pass.

It's like knowing and not believing, all at once.

Suspected, but put aside in hope all day, as I prayed.

Disbelief had stricken me so many times throughout that week (leading up to) and now that it's happened- I can hardly remember my worry.

I anticipated it in recent years, too- with age being the only evidence that it may be close.

Addressed it as 'what-if' during many conversations in recent years with her because even though she didn't look seventy-two, seventy- three or seventy-four years old, she was. I didn't notice until months earlier that the wrinkles and gray hairs crept in more and more.

I randomly envisioned it at times.

I couldn't even bear talking to her about it hypothetically without choking up.

I also didn't realize that over the last 18 years, (by not grieving properly over death, after death, after death and stacking grief upon grief) my struggle to accept losses would make it impossible to accept one even this great; so much so, that at first, I could not ward it off until almost the second month after her passing.

Every waking day is a realization that the world itself is