Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore Art Thou?

By David J. Wighton

A man named Romeo has seduction on his mind. The Wilizy cousins are on his trail, but are blocked by an unexpected protector. Maddy is warned that Chad is a psychopath. With the help of the CEO of Planet Ringworm, a warlock named Bizarre is following Winnie with intentions of ambushing her with a magic spell. Heaven knows it's coming, but not where or when. Fittingly, the outcome is bizarre.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David J. Wighton
• Release date: Jun 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215199497

David J. Wighton

David Wighton is a retired educator who enjoys writing youth novels when he's not on a basketball court coaching middle-school girls. The books in his Wilizy series peek at how people lived after the word's governments collapsed in the chaos that followed the catastrophic rise in ocean levels and the disappearance of the world's last deposits of oil. Luckily today, in the 2080s, the citizens of Alberta are safe because their It's Only Fair society uses brain-bands to zap people whenever they break a rule. That way, all children grow up knowing the difference between right and wrong. Unfortunately, they're also taught that women's ankles need to be covered so that men can't see them and turn into perverts. Plus, no-one in Alberta can have babies any more because the government manufactures them in a way that ensures that no child has an unfair advantage over any other child. All of this makes sense to Alberta's dictator, but not to Will and Izzy – two teenagers who are decidedly different from everyone else.Wighton's novels have strong teenage characters driving the plot and facing challenges that, in many respects, are no different from what teenagers face today. His novels are intended to entertain and readers will find adventure, romance, suspense, humour, a strong focus on family, plus a touch of whimsy. Wighton also writes to provoke a little thought about life in today's societies and what the future might bring. Teachers may find the series useful in the classroom and the novels are priced with that intent in mind.

Book preview

Chapter 1

It's the first week of January, 2101.

We don't often have spectators at our basketball practices, Maddy said as she climbed the stairs and sat down next to the spectator in question.

I wanted to make it easy for you to see me. I'm not stalking you, but I wanted you to know that I'm living in Tucson now.

You look different.

Brunhilda said that facial recognition software wouldn't find me, he said as he handed her a piece of paper. I didn't think that I'd get by you.

...

This says that a person named Chad Mitchell has registered in the U of A.

I'm Chad Mitchell.

Why here?

The university has a good men's basketball program. The coach allowed me to try out last week. He said that I would have made this year's team, but it was too late to join now. I can practice with the team and earn a spot next year. So, I tried to register a couple of days ago.

How'd that go? Did you tell him that you had graduated from Hell Senior Secondary School?

Brunhilda gave me records of my early mortal life, but school records would be too easy to check. So, she said that I should tell people that I was home schooled. The registrar's office made me take some tests.

Which you must have passed.

I did.

What will you study?

This semester, I'm taking some pre-engineering courses to fill in some gaps. I'll register as a frosh in the Faculty of Engineering in September.

What kind of engineering?

I don't know yet.

Did you ask for an athletic scholarship?

No, I won't need it. Harry gave me lots of money from Satan's personal wealth.

So, you got what you always wanted.

I'm human and I can play basketball without sabotaging myself. It's a start.

How are you doing on getting lots of sex? You're not exactly ugly.

I used to watch a lot of porn when I was in Hell. I got tired of it. I had more enjoyment out of watching old TV shows. Sex can wait.

A rich handsome guy could enjoy himself a lot here. Plenty of girls like to party. Join a frat house.

Engineering and basketball will take up all my time. I'm serious about doing well. Besides, I've already rented a basement suite a couple of miles out of Tucson. I'll live like a hermit and bike back and forth.

Well, good luck, Maddy said as she stood up.

Maddy.

What?

....

Could we start over? Chad ventured. Could we pretend that we never met before?

My life is full. My studies come first. Next are basketball and baseball. I have no time for a relationship.

I'm not looking for a relationship. I won't have time either. I'm looking for a friend.

...

I know that I had misjudged you. I was wrong about you. But, that doesn't mean that I can be, or should be, your friend. I've made an oath. I won't let any man touch me sexually.

I'm OK with that. How about we meet after games and talk basketball?

That'll make for a long day. I need my sleep.

I'll watch your baseball games. Those are on weekends.

Do you know anything about baseball?

There's a lot of science in baseball. I know a lot of science.

It won't be a date. No hand holding.

OK. But, I can't sit next to any girl that stinks. She'll remind me of Hell.

I'll shower first.

Deal.

# # # # # # # #

Are you finished with the laboratory cavern? Satan (Ponzie) asked Zygfryd.

Everything that could be burned was burned. [Zygfryd was the new head of the SSS.]

The PUS cars?

Back in circulation. They're on the Shanghai line.

The PUS line into the cavern?

The construction devils salvaged all the rails that could be salvaged and placed them in storage as spare parts.

The devils themselves?

I enrolled them in the SSS. They know that you pardoned them so they'll be loyal to you.

Any signs of Boris yet?

No.

I want you to go to these coordinates and tell me what you see.

Where am I going?

The Sonoran desert west of Tucson. Have the city's head devil copter you out.

Where will I find him?

"Two blocks west of the PUS station. Look for the sign Bankruptcy Attorneys."

# # # # # # # #

Winnie, Guinny wants you to come back for a meeting, Galahad said from Heaven.1's cockpit.

Good. I just finished the inventory of Sewage Breath's secret stash.

Are you planning to steal it?

I'm still hoping that he'll try and make a withdrawal.

That's not likely now that he has a new term of office.

I'm torn between putting a drone inside the cave and catching him that way or triggering an explosion if he enters the cave.

Would you be using facial recognition software first?

Yuh. Does Heaven have explosives that can bring down this mountain but make it look like an earthquake hit?

We do. There'd be no emanations of a manmade explosive. Are you planning to bury him alive?

Tempting, but hardly legal. Could you give Sewage Breath enough warning that he could escape from the cave?

Easy. I can build in some tremors.

Heaven actually created this kind of weapon?

Joe-Joe has been working on it. This was going to be our fall back position if we weren't able to shut down the cavern of laboratories any other way.

Good to know. Science to the rescue.

Do you know what Lillian did to Boris?

Not fully, Winnie answered. "She resorts to her old fall back position when I ask. Do you have a need to know?"

But he's alive?

Yes.

I don't trust him, Galahad confessed. This is exactly the kind of secret operation that a cagey devil would run to convince Heaven that he's safe. He makes a confession about an operation that he didn't want to run but really, he's running a different operation.

Lillian would never let him get into Heaven.

He could do a lot of damage if his mission were to take out a critical angel on Earth.

Like Maddy?

Exactly!

She hates him. She won't be fooled.

Sooner or later, Maddy will become interested in men.

Not Maddy, Winnie insisted.

If I were running a seduction op on her, I'd pretend to be interested in sports and I'd be very patient.

Let's go back to Heaven. On the way, you can tell me about all the seduction ops that you've run.

# # # # # # # #

What did you see? Satan asked Zygfryd.

A male skeleton. It had been staked out on the desert to die. A smaller skeleton was nearby.

Was it already dead when it was staked out?

Impossible to know. By the time I arrived, critters and birds had been at it. I saw nothing other than bones.

Was the skull intact?

Why?

Heaven sent me those coordinates. If any devils are way out of line, they'll send them back to us with their brains turned to mush.

I don't know about brain mush but I saw some devil scales scattered around.

Now we know where Boris went. Heaven caught him.

Are they allowed to do that?

No. But we aren't allowed to break the prime directive either. Tit for tat.

[The phrase 'tit for tat' originated in the mid-1500s. It's thought to be a variant of the earlier phrase 'tip for tap,' in which both tip and tap mean 'a small blow' as in a hit or punch that was used for retaliation.]

Do you want me to bring back the skull?

Were the eyeballs still there?

No.

The skull will be empty.

Being staked out doesn't cause much torture.

It does if the critters and birds start snacking on you when you're still alive.

Back to the Table of Contents

Chapter 2

Same time frame; different location. We're now in Denver, specifically in a private boardroom just off Governor Stookenhap's office. Stook and Sheila had met their guest as he had exited from an anonymous black copter. The halls to the boardroom were deserted. That may have been because it was midnight.

I've asked a few friends to join us, Juan. I believe you know Hank, he's here as the head of the Wilizy family. Hank, you'll remember President Juan Fuentes of Mexico.

Hank was on the other side of the table, so he just stood and made a slight bow to the president, who returned the favor.

And you'll remember my lawyer, Stu.

Again, bows were exchanged.

We have a special guest, one I've just met myself. Hank, would you make the introductions please?

President Juan Fuentes, I am happy to introduce you to Chooli Yazzie. She's here representing all of the tribal nations in Arizona. Chooli, President Fuentes of Mexico.

They were close enough that they could approach each other and shake hands. The president came up to Chooli's shoulders, which was a regular event for her, but not for the president. Sheila then steered the president to the chair next to Stook, while she sat next to Chooli who was still locked in early rigor mortis from being invited to the meeting. Sheila was close enough to whisper reassurances, which she now did.

Stook continued from a sitting position. "For Chooli's benefit, the government of Colorado and the government of Mexico worked closely together in 2094 [Book #24, Queen Karita's Revenge] when we signed a number of economic treaties that benefitted both Mexico and Colorado. The state of California also benefitted greatly. I had invited Juan to Denver months ago so that I could brief him on the meeting the governors of the southwest states that had been held recently. I will do that later. But first, Hank wanted an opportunity to talk with you about an economic proposal that he would like to offer Mexico, and in particular, the Mexican state of Sonora. I have listened to Hank's proposal and Colorado fully endorses it. It's in keeping with our state's effort to remove prejudice and bigotry. Chooli is here in her position as the lawyer for the Tohono O'Odham Nation, which will be the signatory for the stage of the project north of the Mexican border. She will be working closely with Stu and with whatever lawyers Mexico and the State of Sonora dedicate to this project if it goes ahead. Hank, you have the floor."

Mr. President, what I will describe for you is a economic treaty between Sonora and the Tohono O'Odham nation that will provide economic benefits for both parties. While the various tribal nations are land rich in Arizona, for the most part, their people live in abject poverty. Much of that poverty is because of their skin color. This summer, Chooli had a breakthrough when she legally forced the Arizona State government to pay reparations for their misuse of money that they had received for use of tribal lands. Chooli also negotiated a settlement for the use of tribal water rights. That settlement gave the tribal nations tax-free access to large tracts of Arizona government lands near the cities of Phoenix and Tucson. That land could be valuable for all of their nations' people if they could develop it. The money they could receive from that development could lift all members of the nations out of poverty. With economic disparity reduced, perhaps bigotry and prejudice could be reduced as well.

Hank continued. What the Tohono O'Odham nation wants is water from Mexico's Sonora State. Currently, Sonora has no water that they can export. Through a side agreement with Hank's family, the State of Colorado will provide the technology through which Sonora can export water, but those exports will be restricted only to Arizona tribes. Sonora will gain an exportable product from which they will greatly improve the finances of the state. This will be a three-way collaboration through which all parties will benefit. I will now describe each party's responsibilities.

# # # # # # #

I didn't expect to see a Healthy Oceans spaceship in our dry dock, Meringue, Winnie confessed. What brings you all the way out here?

It doesn't take all that long to travel here now that we have no water in the ship's pool. I had to come this way anyway so that our procurement officers could meet with Ritchit. He told us what space yachts to buy and directed us to the best source. After that, we went to Planet Panther and I gave Luna the gold that we had recovered from our oceans to date. She'll buy three yachts for us and will notify us when they're in. I had to speak to you and Guinny, so I dropped in without warning. Jacob offered to show my crew how to convert the water pool to cargo space, so I've been swimming in your lake until you arrived. [The current location of this conversation.]

Meringue has become quite the traveller, Guinny said. Tell her what you're doing now.

"Merly is way too busy now to do follow-up visits, so that's my new role. I set up a visit, meet with a planet's CEO, and ask if he's happy with the service.