Climbing Out Of The Crossfade - Your Guide to Getting and Staying Sober

By Scott L.

Everyone needs a guide sometimes and this book offers guidance and inspiration for anyone who is sober or sober curious. We live in a world where both the stresses and celebrations of life can inspire us to let loose with alcohol and drugs. One thing can lead to the next and dependence can sneak up on you.

 

Scott L. gives practical, moving insights from being on the journey from being habitually intoxicated to being grounded in sobriety. This book does not preach or push but offers ideas and experience that can lead you to a life of freedom from the entrapment and suffering of addiction.

 

This is your guide to getting and staying sober that also includes stories of other people, just like you, who have stayed sober and created meaningful lives for themselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Scott Publishing
• Release date: Jun 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223610465

Scott L.

Scott L. writes and publishes content about getting and staying sober, with the belief that if it helps one person it’s worth the time and effort.  Scott publishes anonymously, not out of shame but out of the idea that he can share all the most personal and challenging parts of getting and staying sober with an uncensored openness that anonymity brings. 

Book preview

Introduction 2

Chapter 1: From Fear to Freedom 3

David’s Story 10

Chapter 2: Understanding Addiction 13

Chapter 3: Building a Support System (Make That Call for Help!) 21

Paul’s Story 24

Chapter 4: Having a Plan 28

Chapter 5: The Upside of Sobriety 31

Chapter 6: Groups for Connection and Sobriety 36

Monica’s Story 39

Chapter 7: Grudges, Resentments, and Forgiveness 42

Chapter 8: You Are Not Alone 49

Chapter 9: Happiness (The Next Frontier) 51

Your Next Chapter 54

Inspiration at a Glance 56

Introduction

So, you made the tough–and equally brave–decision to take the plunge and pursue a sober life? I can confidently say you came to the right place .

How do I know this?

Because I’ve been exactly where you are right now. But now I am here, in a healthier mental space. And I’m here to welcome you to a new day, one in which you start your path to loosening the grip that alcohol, drugs, and any other substances may have over you.

Who am I? I’m not a therapist or a drug counselor. I’m just a regular person who has struggled with alcohol and drugs since my first drink at a party on spring break when I was thirteen. When the buzz first washed over me, I felt a happiness I had never felt before. My fears, insecurities, and social anxiety were all gone. I felt so happy and free that I kept on drinking until I threw up in the parking lot.

The next day I thought, That was amazing! Except for the throwing up part. But next time I’ll drink the right amount. I never got the amount right and spent the rest of my time drinking and using, trying to stay in that sweet spot of a buzz where everything feels good. Somehow, I always managed to swing right past it.

If you are already sober or sober-curious, congratulations! The hardest part is taking the first step toward change. I know people will tell you it’s a long, hard, grueling process. But I’m here to tell you that being sober is also fulfilling. Once you realize that you are absolutely capable of achieving it, sobriety brings real freedom, connection, and ultimately, joy.

No doubt there will be tears along the way and lonely 3:00 A.M. ceiling-staring sessions. But there will also be an abundance of laughter, warmth, and love! (And hey, at least you can ignore all those cringey self-help Instagram reels now.)

Each chapter in this book addresses a challenge or aspect of getting and staying sober. At the end of each chapter, you’ll find a realization from my own experience as well as questions to ask yourself.

These questions are based on thoughts that crossed my mind. They got me through some of the roughest days. I suggest keeping a notebook next to you while reading this book so you can follow along and write down your answers to these questions whenever they resonate with you.

Chapter 1: From Fear to Freedom

If you are sober-curious , you are probably hurting right now. We both know that addiction is painful, often taking us to rock bottom before we’re pushed to rise again. On the other hand, being sober-curious can also feel painful, at least at first.

There are valid reasons you may be hurting now. Maybe you miss hanging out with friends or family for a drink or a smoke sesh. Or maybe you don’t know how to socialize without a glass or joint in your hand.

Guess what? I’ve been there and definitely know the ups and downs. I’ve felt that false confidence from using turn into self-loathing. My smoking habit was my alternative therapy. I let myself be swept away until that disconnect between myself, the world, and the people around me grew too large for me to ignore. As my nights got wilder and fun, they also got lonelier, less tolerable, and too dreadful to bear once all the supposed fun had ended. Only when I was in the depths of my depression and anxiety did I decide to pull the plug on it all.

As complex of a problem as it was for me, and most likely you, I'm here to tell you that it is solvable. But as I learned myself, the key to solving problems is taking the time to understand what the process will be like for you.

Understanding the Journey of Sobriety

When you first lock in a significant number of sober/clean days, you may be tempted to reward yourself by getting stoned or hitting the bar with some friends. This is a natural response since you’ve been rewarding yourself this way all this time. This reward system may have worked for you up until now. After all, our culture tells us to celebrate with substances. But if you are at the crossroads of pain and consequences, it may be time to find a new reward.

We live in a time when social norms are changing. We’re starting to focus on positive self-identity, mental health, and wellbeing. Part of that progression involves rewarding ourselves in other ways besides drinking, smoking, and using other substances. There will be parts along this journey where your sobriety might make you feel isolated. Weekends may feel too mundane since you’re avoiding activities you used to do all the time. Remember, this phase is only temporary! Hang in there.

For me, feeling a lack of purpose was the toughest part, at least in the beginning. At first, I thought I had it all figured out as I crossed off chores while staying home on the weekend and kept myself busy with self-care. But then I got on my phone and started seeing posts of everyone else’s week. In moments like these, it feels like the whole world springs into action on the one day you decide to stay in and stop using. Whether your friends decided to get together and just smoke or straight up went raving, that sense of being left out always nags at the back of your mind.

But before you shut yourself in your room and put on a sad song, take a minute to breathe and remind yourself how you ended up here. Remind yourself that this feeling is only temporary and that whatever it is that you might be missing out on, there’s more than enough time to make up for it a hundred-fold.

Remind yourself that rewarding yourself could very easily spiral into consequences with permanent effects. There’s an expression about drinking and using that I really like:

First, it was fun. Then, it was fun with consequences. And then, it was just consequences.

I never knew the reality of just having one drink or one smoke. In my case, one of anything always leads to more.

Facing The Red-Flags

Let’s be honest here. If you’re reading this book, then you are at least curious about what your life would be like if you were sober. Everyone’s drinking experience is different, but we share a lot of similarities: work absences or lost jobs, horrible hangovers, embarrassing moments, DUIs, failed romantic relationships, lost friends, wrecked cars, and so on.

Maybe you haven’t had any extreme consequences yet, but depression keeps sticking around after you drink. Or you feel like something terrible’s just around the corner. Your exact motive for quitting doesn’t matter as much as your desire to live free from alcohol and all of its consequences.

Making the decision to quit drinking isn’t easy. Our world is full of opportunities to smoke up and rave. We feel