Life's Journey Through the Bumps: Dealing with depression, sexual harassments, suicide, and death
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How does one survive the challenges life presents. When faced with sexual harrassment, depression, suicide of only child, loss of husband what does one do to face the day dispite visual limitations. People relate in different ways, no grief is the same. Perhaps understanding what someone else has struggled with and how they dealt
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Life's Journey Through the Bumps - Linda Stilson
Primix Publishing
11620 Wilshire Blvd
Suite 900, West Wilshire Center, Los Angeles, CA, 90025
www.primixpublishing.com
Phone: 1-800-538-5788
© 2023 Linda Stilson. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by Primix Publishing 06/21/2023
ISBN: 978-1-957676-43-2(sc)
ISBN: 978-1-957676-44-9(hc)
ISBN: 978-1-957676-45-6(e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2023908582
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by iStock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © iStock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Dedication
Foundation
Forever, My Journey
I Am Worthy of Love
Just Around The Bend
My Journey
My Journey Without You
Tucson VA Blind Center
Art is my therapy
Fatalities: Loss and Bumps Along the Way
My Sister’s Losses
1-800-4Heaven
A Year Without You Now
Depression
Facing the Holidays With Memories of You
Gone Not Softly Into The Night
Happy Birthday My Precious Child
Haiku
I Am Here, Can You See Me?
I Didn’t Mean To Hurt You
I Don’t Know What It’s Like… But I Care
I Really Need To Know
I Shoulda Oughta Been There
Is It An Ambivalent Display of Ignorance?
Let Go Of The Anger
Life Isn’t Easy, Surviving Is Tough
No One Can Tell Me…
Peace Doesn’t Come Easy For You and Me
Tell Me Why… Tell Me When?
Time Heals Our Pain…
What Can I Do To End My Grief?
When Did It all Go Bad?
You Didn’t Show You Loved Me.
Faith: The Ability to Believe In Something One Cannot See Or Touch, But Gives Us Strength Knowing We Are Never Alone.
My Little Blessings
Blessings
Forever Loving, My Lord Is To Thee
God, I’m Not Speaking To You
Halloween of Yesteryear
Heaven
How Can I Be Thankful on Thanksgiving Day?
Lent
Master’s Program of Religion
The Lord is My Savior
The Meaning of Christmas
Memories Last Forever
My Heart Is Like An Ocean
Some Days I think I’m Going Crazy
Ssh! Don’t say it… You might Offend
Sympathy Prayer (for Sympathy Card at Church)
Thanksgiving Day
Thanks
Traveling God’s Highway of Life
Family
Family Forever, Through Thick and Thin
Happy Mother’s Day
Island Paradise
Life Senselessly Taken…
Losing My Aunts, My Mentors
Loss of a Grandfather
Loss of a Grandma
My Goodness…A Great Grandma!
My Granddaughters: Heather, Ashley and Brittany
My Grandson, Ryan
Stepmother Versus Mother
Friends & Neighbors
Dear Lord, Prayers for Gaye
Friends Like Family
Miles Apart… But Close To My Heart
Weep Not For Me
Whistling Wood In The Wind
White Roses To Remember Nancy (died Sept. 10, 2009)
Who Has The Linda Watch?
Woman of the Year
FOR BULLYING
Red Hot Poker
Who is the Fool? You know Who!
Words Hurt
Shattered Dreams and Broken Hearts
By Linda Stilson
Introduction
Anger Has Its Hold On Me
Are You Really There?
Depression Is An Illness
Did I Do All That I Could?
Grandma’s Are Special And Fun To Be With
Grief…
I Don’t Understand If It Was God’s Plan
I Try To Think Of All The Pain That Overwhelmed Your Day
I Wish You Were Here So I Wouldn’t Be Missing You
Life Is But A Passing.
Love Lost…Love Taken Away
Mother’s Day For Me In Eternity
Mother’s Day Without You I Cried
My Life Now Here Without You Today
My Prayer
My Son, He Was No Angel
No Greater Loss
Prayers Unending
Release Me From My Grief
Shattered Dreams and Broken Hearts
The Blaming Game Is Where I’m At
The Myth of Suicide Thinking It Was A Sin
Traveling God’s Highway of Life
Unanswered Questions Haunt Us Now
What Can I do To End My Grief?
What If’s?
What If You Choose Your Family Like You Choose Your Friends?
When Did You Change From That Sweet Child Of Mine?
When Will My Sorry Ever End?
Grief, Depression, and Suicide
Grief, mourning, and bereavement
My Grief Process
My Advice
American Association of Suicidology
What is depression?
Depression and suicide
Linda J. Stilson
Dedication
I dedicate this book in loving memory of my husband, William D. Stilson, who I was blessed to have spent almost 27 years as his wife raising a blended family, his and mine…his daughter and son and my son. Having retired and moved to Arizona we were enjoying life. I was volunteering at a local traditional school, known as The Puppet Lady
and won Volunteer of the Year
the first year. Bill was marshaling at Quailwood Golf Course where he got free golfing and use of golf cart. When he wasn’t golfing he was panning for gold or hiking Sadly he was diagnosed with fourth stage cancer and he died Feb. 2, 2001. I read him the letter I had written for him if I died first and he said You always had a way with words
as tears rolled down his cheek.
I also dedicate this book in loving memory of my son, Michael J. Stilson. He died Dec. 20, 2004 at 33. Losing my husband was difficult enough, but nothing would have prepared me for losing my son, my only birth child. Michael was suffering from depression caused from marital problems with his wife and two stepchildren. Too many overwhelming obstacles in his life that got out of hand and we never know when one snaps. Maybe if he hadn’t been highly intoxicated he would have been able to think clearly and make the necessary changes to eliminate the negative factors in his life.
I want to thank all my friends and neighbors who have helped me during my difficult times. Unable to drive, I know they are only a phone call away. The neighborhood really watches out for me. One neighbor especially replaced my carpet with laminate flooring hoping to eliminate my allergies which were making me so sick. He is a true Christian, helping a visually impaired widow, surely God was smiling. He brings my garbage can in for me as well. He walks neighborhood dogs for some. He is always there to help. Words barely express how much his work was appreciated. Thank you, David.
I also want to thank my grandchildren and family whose love and devotion have helped me find purpose in life. Thank you to my twin granddaughters who stayed with me the summer following my son’s death, because I would have spent my days in bed mourning. Instead it gave me purpose and nurtured my need to do for others. You kept me quite busy and we did a lot of fun things together. Thank you, Ashley and Brittany. I also want to thank my other grandchildren who live in Maui. Although they weren’t here to spend the summer with me, I want to thank you, Heather and Ryan, for the fun times we had together when I flew to Maui to spend three weeks with you. Love Hawaiian Paradise and always look forward to visiting you.
I want to thank all my friends on Facebook who have supported me through the loss of my son and those that I met through POS (Parents of Suicide). Only those that have suffered a loss of a child, no matter how old, can truly understand the pain one has suffered. I wish that no one had to go through burying their child. It is a journey that has no end in sight with many bumps along the way to slow one down and bring them to their knees. It is a pain that one doesn’t get over
but one they must work through.
I want to thank the congregation at St. Germaine’s Catholic Church, which has made me feel so welcomed and provided a great place to grow in my faith and to contribute to the community. I have enjoyed facilitating the bible study program for thirteen years, helping out as a member of Catholics Daughters and the Ladies Guild, as well as volunteering as a leader for Vacation Bible School.
Front row: Lori Stilson Coad, my stepdaughter, and Linda
Second row: Michael Stilson, my son and Scott Stilson, my stepson.
Last picture taken with sister and brother.
Foundation
My journey is not unique nor unlike yours; we all have our struggles in life that we endure. We all will encounter loss at one time or more in our life. Life is what we choose to make of it. We were never promised it would be easy. I see life as a journey, a long winding road with no end in sight. Along that road are bumps and potholes; just as our life is full of challenges, disappointments, pain and loss. For some of us the rocks are more like boulders that have fallen in our way. How we choose to survive life’s obstacles thrown our way… is in our hands alone.
Before my husband died if anyone had told me that I was a survivor or how strong I was going to be, I would have told them they were crazy. I have had many years of fighting depression as well as not speaking out against those who wronged me. I realized this all goes back to when I was about nine years old. I was molested by my uncle who threatened to kill me if I told anyone. One day while playing football with my brothers and neighbor guys (they always needed my sisters and I to fill the team) my breast was brushed when someone went to knock the football out of my arm. When