Crumbled Bliss

By Mara A. Miller

Joey Slater broke Patience Daniel's heart the night she found out he asked her sister to marry him at a party. And then the crash happened. Joey made it. Sarah didn't. That night left Patience without two of the most important people in her life. Now, she's in college and managing her grandmother's bakery, stronger than ever. Life's mostly okay.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kingston Publishing Company
• Release date: May 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9781645334491

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Copyright

Crumbled Bliss is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

CRUMBLED BLISS: A NOVEL

Copyright © 2021 by Mara A. Miller

All rights reserved.

Editing by KP Editing

Cover Design by KP Designs

- www.kpdesignshop.com

Published by Kingston Publishing Company

- www.kingstonpublishing.com

The uploading, scanning, and distribution of this book in any form or by any means—including but not limited to electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the permission of the copyright holder is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized editions of this work, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

Table of Contents

Copyright

Table of Contents

Dedication

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Twenty-Four

Twenty-Five

Twenty-Six

Twenty-Seven

Twenty-Eight

Twenty-Nine

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

Extras

About the Author

Also by the Author

About the Publisher

Dedication

For Uncle Mark Miller

Rest in peace.

I wish you could have been here to see me graduate with my Masters.

Joey Slater broke Patience Daniel’s heart the night she found out he asked her sister to marry him at a party.

And then the crash happened. Joey made it. Sarah didn’t.

That night left Patience without two of the most important people in her life. Now, she’s in college and managing her Grandmother’s bakery, stronger than ever. Life’s mostly okay… until Joey walks back into her life, asking for cupcakes.

Joey only wants to be a part of Patience’s life again. After tragedy strikes her family once more, he knows he can’t walk away from her this time. All he seeks is redemption with this beautiful girl. He’s no longer that messed up, confused seventeen-year-old boy who couldn’t decide who he loved.

Patience must not only navigate her feelings for Joey, but she must also deal with her family. She can’t lose the bakery. It’s the one thing which always brought together her family, and somehow through it all, Joey has become her rock again.

Can Patience forgive Joey for breaking her heart?

One

Patience

THEN

The house pulsates with energy. My sister, Sarah, and her boyfriend Joey have invited me to an end of the year bash with the class of 2014, and my third oldest sister Sarah, who are celebrating their graduation from high school. I’m half paying attention to the conversation my friend, Lena, is trying to have with me, when someone else forces a red plastic cup into my hands.

Why the long face, sissy? Drink! my sister, Sarah, insists. The grin on her face is wide. She looks stunning tonight. Through crying about her graduation and two clothing changes today, her makeup still appears flawless.

I stare at the drink like it’s a foul potion that will make me grow warts on my nose or grow an extra ear. I’m fourteen—barely on the cusp of fifteen. I’ve never taken a drink of alcohol in my life. In the back of my mind, I notice Lena’s exasperated swear under her breath, but I’m trying to get over the shock that my sister wants me to have beer.

Sarah, I don’t know if I should, I say, trying to hand it back to her.

Quit being a big baby, Sarah huffs, drinking from her own red plastic cup.

I can’t believe she’s drinking too. Except, I can, because our oldest sister likes to hide booze in the freezer where she doesn’t think our grandmother knows about her hidden stash. Sarah and Brenna have been known to sit in the garage and drink while dancing to music and making out with their boyfriends.

But then I realize what she’s doing, and I grab her cup.

Sarah, you can’t drink! You’re driving tonight!

Cool, sticky soda splashes all over my jeans and the front of my shirt.

Great, Sarah says. I was looking forward to that Cherry Coke. I’m not drinking, dumbass.

Sarah takes off in a huff toward the back of the living room where drinks are being served. A girl in the lobby is being held upside down by a few members of the football team, drinking straight from a keg. Loud, booming bass causes my ears to throb. I turn around to finally speak to Lena but find she is trying to talk to a guy she has been crushing on for the entire year.

Dang it.

I vaguely remember her saying something about finally getting up the courage to go talk to him, but then my sister distracted me by sticking a drink into my hand. Sarah has a habit of doing that. I’ll be trying to focus on something else, but then she inserts herself into whatever the situation might be because she has to be the center of attention. I should go after Lena.

Instead, I let guilt over being a crappy sister take over rather than following my instincts to go after my friend. I shouldn’t have immediately jumped to the conclusion that Sarah would start drinking when she already promised me and her boyfriend that she would be the designated driver. There’s no way I could drive because I’m not even old enough to entertain the idea of getting my driver’s permit yet.

I should take Sarah’s word seriously. I have a tendency not to trust her, even though she hasn’t exactly given me a reason not to trust her lately. I’ve been the worst sister ever for reasons that are hard to think about, and one of the reasons I agreed to come to this party tonight was to try to forget, to let go, and have fun spending time with Sarah.

I’m sorry! I say, grabbing her wrist. I just—I didn’t even get permission from Grandma to be here tonight. I’m nervous about getting home.

Sarah’s angry face softens into a warm smile as she pushes my hair from my face and makes me look up at her. Hey, I’ve got you, sis. You can drink and have fun. You’re always working at the bakery or studying super hard. A lot of great stuff has happened tonight! We need to celebrate. And you need to drink that.

What if Grandma finds out?

She’s not. I swear. We’re spending the night at Joey’s moms. Cora is cool.

Am I about to give into peer pressure from my sister?

I glance down at the cup of beer and realize that, yes, I am about to give into my sister’s peer pressure.

It doesn’t matter that my hands and jeans are sticky and soaked from Pepsi, or that the music is so loud it’s causing my ears to ring. I don’t choke like I thought I would. In fact, the drink tastes like a mix of Dr. Pepper and something peachy. I could almost enjoy it, until Sarah shoves something else in my hand. A shot. And because of that stupid peer pressure, I drink it.

I take the cup away from my mouth, coughing, what is this!?

She smirks. A shot of whiskey. And peach schnapps with Cherry Coke.

Are you freaking kidding me? I try putting the cup down because I don’t need to chase alcohol with more alcohol, but Sarah grabs it, tilting it back, making me drink more. I have two choices: swallow or choke.

And you need to drink!

The drink isn’t that bad, I tell myself. I’m acting like a baby since I’ve never drunk anything in my entire life. And Sarah won’t stop until I give in. At least she isn’t forcing me to drink another shot.

"There you go. We’re here to have fun, Sarah reiterates. You don’t have to be such a tight ass, Patience."

I glance around the party, trying to find the other person we came to the party with tonight. I’m mad he disappeared the moment we got to the party and left me unsupervised with my sister, who is obviously determined to keep pressuring me into underaged drinking.

Hey, where’s Joey? I ask once Sarah pours herself a new cup of Pepsi. I haven’t seen him since he got here.

Sarah wraps her arm around me and shrugs. I think he went to the bathroom or something? I know he wanted whiskey. Then she does a quick once over of me, obviously not letting it faze her that I put down the drink. Damn, sis… Maybe you should go try to clean that up. I think you still have an extra pair of clothes in the back of his car after you slept over at Rachel’s.

Having a spare change of clothes didn’t occur to me. I slept over at Joey’s cousin’s a few weeks ago and forgot about it. Steeling myself before another taste of the Cherry Coke and Schnapps, I take a gulp and then had the cup to my sister.

Okay… I guess I’ll go change.

Sweet. It should be unlocked.

Sarah smiles wide at me, pushing her light brown hair away from her face. We sometimes get mistaken for twins even though I’m four years younger and she’s obviously the second prettiest Daniels sister. It drives me crazy because everyone always compares me to Sarah. She’s not a bad sister but comparing me to her is incredibly unfair when lately I haven’t felt like I’m a Plain Jane compared to my other four sisters.

I ignore those thoughts as I head toward Joey’s car. If I’m being honest, I’ve needed to talk to him all night. Something happened earlier and I… I just need to know that I’m not acting insane. He’s a year younger than Sarah, and she got accepted into NYU. For me, that means I’ll have him for a whole year by myself without my sister’s interference. I need to know his thoughts on something and just…

Ugh, why did he have to disappear at the party as soon as we got here?

I root around in the back for the clothes Sarah reminded me I left. The entire reason I need to talk to Joey is about what happened after he dropped me off at home after spending the night with his cousin Rachel. It’s the reason I forgot my stuff in the first place, and Sarah hasn’t questioned it. She only thinks Joey was dropping me off at home when…

My head spins a little, probably from the drinking, after pausing to remind myself I need to keep it together. Can you get drunk that fast? Having never had an ounce of alcohol before, I can’t tell if I’m dizzy because I drank that so fast or if my nerves are just getting the better of me over the whole talking to Joey thing.

I grab the jeans, close the door, and spin around to walk back into the house to find a place where I can safely change. Spinning on my heels, determined to change and then finding the resolve I need to confront Joey, I find the confidence I need to fully speak to him about his relationship with me and with my sister.

Only to walk straight into him.

Whoa, he says, grabbing my arms to steady me. What’s got you all pissy?

What are you talking about? I ask, looking up at him. God, Joey is so tall, and I love it. Which, I’m sure it’s just because I haven’t finished growing myself. I’m not pissy.

You slammed my baby’s door, he says, walking toward his car to inspect it. You only slam shit when you’re angry.

Oh, I mutter, taking a step back. Where have you been?

Getting drunk off my ass, Joey announces, turning to lean against his car. It’s been… it’s been an interesting night.

Staring at my feet is easier than talking to Joey. I nod, crossing my arms, hugging myself and my jeans. Why is it so hard to just get the words out?

There is something inside of me that makes me weak for this boy. I don’t stop him when he reaches out to grab my hand to pull me toward him. His lips are warm against mine, and it would be so easy to give in, but I pull away from him.

Stop it. You can’t keep making my head do fuzzy things when we need to have a serious conversation.

Joey snorts and grins at me. I think I like making your head go all crazy.

Ugh, you can’t even act seriously! I whine, pulling myself away from him even though I want nothing more than to stay right where Joey had me. I know I’m whining, and I really hate it because it’s like I’m begging, and I’m neither a beggar nor a whiner. 

You’re pissed I haven’t talked to her yet, he speaks in a soft voice, reaching out to push some of my light brown hair away from my face. He has always hated it when I hide behind my hair. I was working on that but…

I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to end things with Sarah, I blurt out. "You—you kissed me. Like out of the blue. I mean, it was one thing when you nearly did it outside of your Mom’s place after we got done watching Haunted Desperation, but like…you actually did it this time. My first kiss, Joey. I’m not sure what to do with all of this. And you just kissed me again… You have to stop doing that or freaking talk to her!"

Even as I give him crap about kissing me and not breaking up with Sarah, I still feel it. The featherlight touch of his lips, closing my eyes, the way his hands fisted in his hair as he fought against himself to pull away from me before things got out of hand in his car. Heart hammering in my chest because I’d wanted that kiss so damn bad, and for so long, and in that moment, I didn’t have a million thoughts scrambling my brain.

And then boom. Nothing. He pulled away and made me get out and go into the house. He wouldn’t even talk to me about kissing.

I’d been so upset; my stuff in the back of his seat was the least of my concern.

And he just sent my head into another tizzy because he just kissed me again. Like nothing ever happened. Eventually, Joey opened back up to me. And he started saying all of the things I’ve wanted to hear for months. That he thinks he has feelings for me, and even though he cares about Sarah, he doesn’t feel right dating her anymore. He just wasn’t sure how to break up with her. He begged me to give him time to figure out how to break it to her. We both knew that when she finally found out, she would break into drama queen worthy sobs. She might never speak to either one of us again. But it had to happen—it, it still needs to happen, right?

I’ve been trying all damn night to figure out how to break up with your sister, but it isn’t exactly easy! Joey blurts.

Oh, come on, I say, stepping away from him because I don’t trust myself around him anymore. Being this close is enough to undo me. How hard is it to say, ‘Hey, Sarah, I think things aren’t working out between us anymore.’

She’s pregnant.

Something drops in my stomach. It could be bad gas, or it could be an organ, like the heart. Not exactly sure. The feeling of something literally dropping into my stomach has never happened before.

Suddenly, Joey’s arms are around me. My cheek smashes against his chest and he might be sobbing through choked breaths. What the hell? My whole world has been crushed—my best friend kissed me twice but got my sister pregnant—and he’s the one who is crying?

Patience, please don’t freeze up like that—talk to me—I’m trying to figure out how to get out of this mess and—

I push him away. Fuck you!

Don’t say that. Please, baby, I need to explain this to you.

What is there to explain? I half laugh, half sob. "You’ve been telling me all week about how you want to break up with my sister so you can be with me, but you got Sarah pregnant? Fuck you, Joey!"

I pivot on my heels to get as far away from Joey Slater as possible.

No, wait, Patience, he says, desperately grasping my wrist.

If I couldn’t literally sense the anger pulsing through my veins, the defeated tone in his voice might make me pause long enough to hear him out. But I’m not doing this. Sarah has been in a great mood all night. She’s smiling and doing everything right. She isn’t drinking like I thought she might be, and she has wanted nothing other than to celebrate graduating from high school. But now I’m realizing it might be more than that—she’s pregnant, and it is Joey’s baby without a doubt.

They’re in a relationship. How could I expect him to never touch her? God, I’m such an idiot.

I spin back around yank my arm away from him. No! There is no waiting for you anymore, Joey! It’s difficult to fight tears once they start to come, but somehow, I manage. I sniff once, then twice, and lay into Joey. What the hell do you mean when you say you’re trying to get out of this mess? Are you going to bail on my sister because you knocked her up?

What—No—

I wouldn’t be surprised if you do! I burst out. Because you’re a jerk! A jerk who kisses me and then knocks up my sister!

You think this is easy? Joey asks, doing everything he can to get me to stop trying to get me to stop scrambling away by wrapping an arm around my waist. "I’m in love with you and I can’t abandon your sister because she’s going to have my kid… I’m so fucking confused that I can’t see straight!"

Those are the words I have wanted to hear since I first realized I’d been developing feelings for Joey. It’s everything, and more. It’s the sun, and the moon, and the stars, except it’s impossible to be all of those things, because Sarah is in the party right now drinking Cherry Coke and expecting me to come find her after I change my clothes. She might be trying to find a way to tell me she’s going to have a baby.

Joey calling me by a pet name doesn’t mean I should get all swoony, either. Even though I want to, internally. Joey doesn’t call Sarah by pet names. He only ever calls her by her first name.

I step in closer only for a moment. Joey’s eyes go wide, and he stumbles.

I think the alcohol has something to do with that, I say. "Fuck you. You have no right to say you’re in love with me after you have obviously been sleeping with Sarah. Let go of me."

His hands are immediately off me. He will follow me to beg and plead, but he will never keep touching me if I tell him not to. I can at least respect him for that when I want nothing more than to keep screaming at him.

Patience, if you would just calm down for a second and—

Sarah interrupts him by pushing him with both hands, hard, knocking him away from me. The catch of her thick cloud of Japanese cherry blossom body lotion assaults my nose while she screams, You fucking sick asshole! Get your hands off my baby sister!

Now I’m fully crying, because she obviously heard our conversation, and I have no idea how I’m going to explain this to her.

Joey suddenly can’t seem to make eye contact with either one of us. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he’s trying to find words, but can’t, until he says, Sarah, calm down, I need to explain myself to both of you—

All I know is that if you touch Patience again, you’ll catch a statutory rape charge! Then she turns to me. "And what the hell? You wanted him to break up with me? For you?"

What is that supposed to mean? I ask, suddenly done with these two. I told you before you started dating him that I had a crush! And you chose to go out with him anyway!

Sarah drags the keys out of her back pocket—Joey’s keys. My eyebrows shoot beneath my bangs and I try to rush forward to get them from Sarah. She’s crying, her mascara has started to smear, and her hands shake as she turns to go toward the car.

You’re my sis, Patience. You’re supposed to have my back. Especially now.

Sarah— I try, but don’t manage to get the words out.

Joey follows her, trying to stop her now instead of me. He tries to grab her wrist, but she yanks it out of his grasp and makes him stumble through his pleading, Come on. You need to calm down.

Screw you! she says, opening the driver side door. Then she starts fighting with a ring I noticed her wearing earlier. It’s a silver butterfly ring. She flings it at Joey’s head. So much for becoming your wife.

What? I half scream, half sob. You’re telling me you’re in love with me, but you proposed to my sister! Seriously, screw you!

Don’t worry about it, sis. He’s yours. I’m not even sure if I’m keeping this baby.

Joey stops rubbing his forehead where the ring smacked him, standing ramrod straight before he loses his balance and stumbles. What does that mean?

Sarah shrugs. Maybe I’ll get rid of it. It would clear up a whole lot for us, wouldn’t it? You two could ride off into the sunset and I won’t have to drop out of NYU before I even get there!

"Sarah, you need to calm down," Joey commands in a tone I’ve never heard him use before.

Then he does the one thing I wouldn’t expect him to do after he just told me he’s in love with me, but of course I should expect it. He gets into the car with Sarah. They scream at each other, but he doesn’t budge, telling her to slow down even as she turns on the car and the transmission protests under her clumsy shifting. I try to say or do something, but that happens is my butt meets the grass as I watch as my sister and her boyfriend peel out of the driveway. The damp ground soaks through my already sticky jeans as I stare at nothing and try to comprehend what the hell just happened.

Someone skids to a stop next to me. It’s Lena. Her sister, Joanie, stands behind us.

What the hell is going on? Joanie asks.

Joey just told me he’s in love with me, I say. Although something in my voice doesn’t sound right. Hollow, maybe? Because I think I’m nothing more than a shallow husk. Or maybe it’s the alcohol talking. "Except he got Sarah pregnant and asked her to marry him.

Lena crashes to her butt beside me. What? No way.

Oh, shit, Joanie says. Girls, stay right there, I need to try to call her. Where is Joey?

I look up at her. Joanie is one of Sarah’s closest friends. The thought makes it difficult to swallow the lump in