Tales of Identity: Memories & Reflections

By Jaimi S.T.

Go on a journey full of a full year's worth of self-discovery and queer characters. From January's discovery of love to Decembers acts of faith and community, Tales of Identity: Memories & Reflections invites you into glimpses of the characters' lives.

A separate title page is provided for each story, which provides a summary, any warnings, and a list of the pronouns used in the narrative. At the back of the book is a small glossary of words from within the LGBTQIA+ community.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 30, 2018
• ISBN: 9781387989249

Book preview

Jaimi S.T.

Tales of Identity: Memories & Reflections

First published by Cosmos Business Ventures LLC 2018

Copyright © 2018 by Jaimi S.T.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

Jaimi S.T. has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.

Licensees may copy, distribute, display, perform the work and make derivative works and remixes based on it only for non-commercial purposes. Fandom creations allowed as long as the work is sited for reference or linked to where possible.

Third edition

ISBN: 978-1-387-98924-9

This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy

Find out more at reedsy.com

To everyone who thought it wouldn’t get done and all those who helped along the way.

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgement

January: New Year’s Day

February: Thought Out Plan

March: Warm Fire

April: Rainstorms

May: Artemis’ Gathering

June: Hair Care

July: Anniversaries

August: Encouragement

September: Preparing for His Wedding

October: Wings

November: Routines

December: Acts of Charity

Glossary

About the Author

Preface

This book is made up of twelve short stories that are about different LGBTQIA+ individuals. They are based on my imagination, but have their roots in real life and the happy moments I hope for each of my fellow community members. Plus the knowledge that even if things go wrong, there is still a chance for things to go right.

There was a lot of research put into making sure that I portrayed each character like a real person and I tried to avoid harmful stereotypes even as I touched on several real life issues people within the community face.

There was a great many people whose help went into this book. Not all of them are aware of it, and some of them I don’t even remember as they were strangers that briefly touched my life. The most helpful people have to be the beta peeps, writing partners, and writing groups. Of course those people who pre-ordered gave me the extra boost to get this done.

I hope that you are able to find something you connect to within these stories. There will definitely be more in the future.

Acknowledgement

To my patrons for all your support, particularly Hollie & Spring who have been with me the longest, and have given me the strength to go even when things have been tricky to the extreme. To Callan for being an awesome writing partner, I miss you.

January: New Year’s Day

Summary:

After being surprised at a New Year’s party, Jeff prepares for a date with his best friend, while considering what led to it.

Warning:

Minor reference of homophobia.

Pronouns:

He, him, his, himself

They, them, their, theirs, themself

New Year’s Day

They’re having a late night dinner the day after Christmas when Ethan flashes a grin at him. My boss wanted me to make sure you know you’re invited to the New Year’s Eve party at the country club.

Jeff replies with a chuckle, Why this year? It’s the third year in a row he’s been invited, despite the fact he doesn’t actually work for them. There is always a different excuse. Not that he needs one; his best friend nearly always invites him along anyway simply to get him out of his apartment and away from his messy home office.

Oh, you know, they say you’re an inspiration. I think they appreciate some of the design ideas I’ve come up with after we have dinner when I’m stuck on a project, his best friend answers, picking up his fork. So, shall we send the year out in style?

He takes a drink rather than respond immediately because he always enjoys seeing his best friend dressed up. His fantasies and dreams of them as a couple may never happen, but it gives him plenty of things to imagine, and allows him the illusion that Ethan is dressing up for him.

I’d like that, he eventually agrees.

The rest of their dinner is spent chatting about their holidays and how their visits with family went.

Time seems to both fly by and drag on between their dinner and New Year’s Eve. When he isn’t busy, he finds himself wondering what sort of outfit Ethan is going to choose, and tries to stop himself from pretending it will be for him.

~♥~

They met in middle school, on their first day of sixth grade. Jeff had transferred to a new school in the district because it was closer to his house than his old school. Ethan was the bookworm, ignoring everyone in the classroom, even the teacher.

Right off the bat, he was assigned as partner to the boy he’d noticed reading. He wasn’t sure how to start talking to him, because his new partner gave the air of someone who didn’t want to be interrupted. It turned out, he didn’t have to.

Ethan had closed the book he was reading, stared at him with unreadable dark eyes, and declared, I hope you know how to read, unlike some of these other fools.

Laughter had bubbled up, spilling forth and drawing the attention of nearly everyone nearby. When it finally faded, Jeff retorted, Yes, I can read. Mamma didn’t raise a fool.

~♥~

Finally, New Year’s Eve arrives. When he’s done getting ready, he checks himself in the mirror. This isn’t a date, but he would rather not make his best friend look bad in front of his coworkers, even if most of them already know him. He’s wearing his favorite party outfit, and the deep blue of his slacks complement the dark green button down. He shifts and twists a bit, admiring the way the shirt shimmers when the light catches the nearly invisible silver threads.

He pauses when he hears the front door opening — either he’s running behind or Ethan’s ahead of schedule, he thinks as he pulls his phone out to check the time. He’s not behind, so his best friend must have used the spare key to get in.

As he exits his bedroom, he spots his best friend standing just inside the front door, playing on his phone as he waits. He doesn’t understand why Ethan hadn’t just sat on the sofa or at the dining counter.

A breath later, Jeff freezes as he takes in the view.

It is one thing to discuss dressing up for the party. It is another for him to see it. For some reason, he expected that his friend would be in his business function attire, like his plain black slacks and a cashmere sweater.

Instead, his friend looks like he’s dressed to impress.

The deep sapphire button down makes his friend’s eyes seem bluer than their normal deep gray, and lends a cool undertone to his dark umber skin. The triangle of skin bared by an undone collar at the base of Ethan’s throat draws his focus, and Jeff swears he can almost see his pulse.

He swallows, his eyes continuing downward to take in the way the shirt clings to Ethan’s chest. The gem-toned material is pulled taut across firm muscles, while snug black slacks hug muscular legs, emphasizing their strength and showing off their shape. Completing the look are polished dress shoes that take him back to the first time he realized he had a crush on his best friend.

~♥~

They had attended their junior prom together with a group of single friends; none of them had managed to find a date, though in Jeff’s case, he wasn’t sure whom to ask out.

He had only recently come to realize that he liked boys, not girls, and wasn’t sure whether there was anyone else in their school who felt the same. Even if he had been ready to handle the rejection while still adapting to the realization that he was gay, he hadn’t exactly been out. That made a bit trickier.

The night of their prom, Ethan had worn black slacks, ones that hugged the tops of his legs in a rather distracting manner. His ruby red dress shirt had complemented his dark umber skin, giving it a rosy under-hue. Fluffy raven black corkscrew curls bounced when he tipped his head, framing his face, and his cheeky grin showed off his white teeth which almost made his silver braces seem like accessories.

At first, Jeff didn’t understand why he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Ethan. There were plenty of other attractive and well-dressed boys at the prom for him to look at. Instead, his attention had been drawn back, continuously, to his best friend.

It hadn’t been until Ethan had leaned in close to one of the girls in their group, to whisper in her ear, that Jeff understood the warmth that had been spreading through him the entire evening every time he looked at or thought of his friend. The sharp pang of longing tinged with jealousy surprised him. He wished it were his ear Ethan was whispering in. That’s what clued him in. He had a crush on his best friend.

~♥~

Years later, he still doesn’t understand how Ethan had missed his staring.

Shaking his head, he smiles fondly at the memories of the past. Back to the here and now. They are getting ready to go. Or, to be more exact, his best friend is here to pick him up so they can go. He looks good, sure, but not nearly as good as Ethan. Jeff shifts his weight, causing the floor to creak.

Hey Jeff, Ethan greets him, smiling affectionately as he glances up from his phone, ready to go?

Hello, he answers distractedly, pulled from his thoughts before they can finish forming. Yeah.

Opening the door, Ethan tucks his phone into his pocket, and motions for Jeff to exit the apartment.

How does that phone fit in the pocket when his best friend’s slacks are so tight? He muses as he locks the door behind them and turns to leave the building.

As they approach the car, Ethan bumps their hips together, grinning playfully.

Chuckling, Jeff shoves his friend lightly towards the driver’s side.

Once in the car, he relaxes into his seat. For most of the ride to the country club, he enjoys the companionable silence between them as they listen to soft music.

He’s not sure about Ethan’s silence, but his own is due to the way he is mind is racing a thousand miles an hour. He’s barely finished one thought when the next is already there, taking the place of the previous one and expanding or morphing it into something unexpected. Try as he might, he can’t get his thoughts to slow down enough to actually process them, leaving him feeling unsettled.

There’s one thing his racing thoughts have in common: Ethan.

The fact they are centered around