So Wrong So Right

By Brenda Ford

My father's health brought me closer to the enemy. 

The woman I never thought I'd even like… let alone love. 

She's off-limits. 

This is filthy. 

I need to suppress all thoughts about her.

I tried telling myself all those things. 

Nothing worked. 

I couldn't deny that I want Rue.  

She's different. 

Her blue eyes and those cute freckles have me dying for her. 

This is about to get hot, crazy, and a whole lot messier. 

Especially when I discover her… little secret.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brenda Ford
• Release date: Nov 28, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393399308

Book preview

Chapter 1 – James

J ust couldn’t leave Stanford, could you? Noah teases me with a laugh. I knew it. Of all the students in the education class last year, I knew it would be you sticking around for a post grad degree.

This man is more my friend than my teacher, and he has been ever since I started my course a few years ago. I like him even more now because he’s going the extra mile, allowing me to assist him, to give me work experience in the education sector as well as continuing my studies. I am going to be way ahead when I start looking for jobs . I might not know what work I’m going towards exactly, I just know that I want to work with people. Helping them, rather than in my father’s clinical money making machine. Sure, he has everything that he wants, and he can afford whatever, but I don’t want to follow in his footsteps.

Well, you know me. I shrug and smile. I always have to go the extra mile. I’m never quite satisfied.

Whatever you decide to do after this, you will kick ass. You are the best I have ever had come through these doors. Determined, fierce, and hard working. That’s why I have agreed to help you... by letting you help me. He lets out a laugh and I can’t help joining in. Now, come on, let’s get this office of mine organized.

Not exactly what I had in mind when I agreed to help you. But so be it. I shrug and get to work. At least my resume will look good, as long as I keep the words ‘bitch boy’ off it.

Oh, come off it. You know it won’t always be like this. Anyway, do you have somewhere better to be?

Not at the moment, no, I reply coyly. Maybe later on. I have a date lined up.

That sounds far more exciting than it actually is. Really, I have a night out with a girl who is in my phone contacts as ‘Blonde Chick – Ford Bar’. So, all I really know about her is that I met her on a night out and drunkenly agreed to a date when I didn’t even know her name. I don’t even know if I really want to go.

But then again, she isn’t going to mind, is she? They never do. They don’t even really see me as James Roberts, the twenty two year old man who has dreams of his own to follow. They just see me as the son of a billionaire. Maybe I have grown cynical over time, and I tar everyone with the same brush, but that’s how it has always been. At first, I thought that I was a hit at Stanford University, and I was excited to see who I might meet, but as it became clear that the girls were expecting me to take them to expensive places and buy them fancy gifts, the penny dropped. To them, I was a cash cow, son of Benjamin Roberts, with full access to his bank account.

Tell me about this date, Noah continues. Just a first date, right? You know how I feel about seconds.

I know. I roll my eyes. It gives the wrong impression, it could lead to more, and having more isn’t good.

Especially not at your age, he warns. You are far too young to settle down. You need to sow your wild oats and have fun, or you will end up regretting it. That’s what leads to mid-life crises.

I make an agreeable noise, even if I don’t really know if I fully agree with Noah’s down hearted look on love. Sure, I have grown cynical about the intentions of women, but if I find someone who feels right, I’m not opposed to seeing where it could lead. I don’t feel like I’m too young or I need to have more fun. Been there, done that.

Who knows, maybe ‘Blonde Chick – Ford Bar’ could end up being the one. It isn’t exactly the most romantic of starts, but not every true love story begins in a fairy tale way. That isn’t real life.

I know you don’t think that I know what I’m talking about, Noah continues. But I do. I’m almost a decade older than you, and I still feel too young to settle down. There is just so much life to live.

And you don’t think you can live that life with someone special? I dare ask. As a couple?

It doesn’t work that way. He shakes his head slowly. You think it will, but it won’t.

I fall into silence and try and focus on what I’m doing, but to be fair, organizing doesn’t take up too much brain power, so I ponder what Noah has said to me instead. I guess I haven’t exactly seen true love play out in my life. So, in a way, maybe he’s right. I would like to believe that my mom and dad were meant to be, but since she passed away when I was just a baby and too young to remember her, I don’t know. She was cruelly ripped away from him, which has led to all of the poor choices that have come since. Or maybe they could have been in a toxic place themselves before she died, leaving me surrounded by hate... I’ll never know.

What I do know is the second Mrs. Roberts, or Mary the gold digger as I prefer to think of her, came along six or seven years ago, is only in it for what she can get. It’s so obvious that she doesn’t really love him, more his wallet, but my father can’t seem to see it.

But, just because other people can’t make love work for them, doesn’t mean the same will happen for me...

WHY AM I HERE? I THINK desperately to myself as I glance around the bar, at all the happy couples reminding me that I don’t have any chemistry with Tillie at all. I should have put that in my cell phone instead, rather than her hair color and where I met her. I should have just stayed at home where I didn’t have to force small talk, because this was painful.

I nearly did because I love my apartment in the city, it’s much better than living on campus. Staring at the cold four walls in the endless silence wasn’t the most exciting thing to do. Still, it was better than this.

So, Tillie. I force a smile on to my face. Do you enjoy being at Stanford University?

Sometimes. She shrugs and smirks. It can be hard work though. Business is a bitch.

What do you want to do once you finish? Go into business yourself?

I don’t know... I might just work for the family company. I don’t really have any ideas for myself.

Urgh, that immediately makes everything inside of me sink. I don’t know how to handle that because it’s the opposite of what I want. There isn’t a chance in hell that I will follow in the footsteps of anyone else. I want to make my own way, build my own empire.

I don’t have a single thing in common with this girl. The last hour has told me that.

I should make an excuse to go, but instead I hear myself telling Tillie that I’m going to the bar and asking her if she wants another drink. Am I that desperate not to be alone that I will stay to see what happens?

Hey there, handsome. The bar maid shoots me a flirty wink. I don’t know her, but this is a common bar for students, so I have seen her a few times. Not that she has ever flirted before. Date not going so well?

Is it that obvious? I laugh awkwardly. Not so much. I don’t know why, but we just don’t click.

Oh, well that’s chemistry, isn’t it? A chemical reaction that you can’t control no matter what you do. You can’t help it if you don’t feel it, it’s just one of those things. She holds up her hands in a surrendering gesture. And no, before you ask, I’m not one of those people that believe the click can grow. It’s either there or not.

I glance back to Tillie, a little disappointed. I don’t know if I have ever really felt that click with someone. Sexual attraction, sure, but that’s the easy part. I know I shouldn’t worry about being single, because I am only twenty two, but with dates like these, it does feel a little hopeless.

Well, I guess we should just have one more drink, I tell the bar maid. Then leave.

Oh, well if you don’t want to leave, you can always come for a drink with me.

I narrow my eyes at her, wondering if she actually likes me or she’s just asking me out because she knows who I am. Does she feel the click? I don’t think that I do with her, so I don’t think that’s a good idea...

Er, yeah maybe. I offer her a weak smile. We’ll see how things go when we finish our drinks.

I don’t want to give her any hope, but I don’t want to be cruel either, so I turn quickly and take the drinks over to Tillie. She’s been on her cell phone the entire time, barely paying me any attention. It even takes her a moment to stop doing whatever she’s doing as I sit beside her. I really don’t like the way that technology as overtaken conversations. I find it really hard to compete with phones. Maybe it’s because my life hasn’t been completely taken over by social media. It’s there, but not the center of my universe.

Oh, thanks. Tillie smiles and sips from her drink. You know, you’re really different to how you were the other night. Is that because you were drunk then? Because you were really loud and chatty. You’re kind of quiet now. She cocks her head to one side. I think you need to drink some more because we had fun.

Urgh, the party side of me isn’t who I want to be all the time. Now and again, sure, but if that’s who she likes, that isn’t me. Sorry, am I boring you? I don’t want to do that, I’m just...

I’m almost relieved to hear my cell phone ringing to end the tension of the moment, because I don’t know where I was really going with that conversation. So much for slagging off technology. I grab it out my pocket and hit the answer button without even looking at the number calling me.

Hello? I put a finger in my other ear and turn away from Tillie.

James, we... we need you. Oh God, it’s Mary the gold digger on another hysterical rant.

What’s going on? I can’t keep the sound of being bored from my tone.

Your father... I don’t know what happened, but he collapsed. That makes me sit up straighter.  He’s in the hospital and I don’t know what to do. I need you to come here, it’s bad.

Fuck, seriously? My heart pounds violently against my rib cage. All I can think about is my poor father, this date, and the drama in this bar flies out the window. Okay, I’m on my way.

Chapter 2 – Rue

Ihaven’t stepped on American soil for a very long time. Years, actually. I may have even lost my US twang over the last few years of residing with my father in England, and now that I’m back here, I can’t help but wonder if this is the right thing to do. Is it a good idea to be back in California? Am I going to find what I want?

I suck in a deep, slightly shaky breath as I wait at baggage collection, wondering what it is I’m really looking for now. Over the last few weeks as I was planning this trip, I told myself that I needed to give my mom a chance, that I owe it to her to see if she’s changed, but now I’m not so sure. She won’t be the Mary Nelson I knew before she got married. I’m definitely going to find Mary Roberts, wife of a billionaire, but our years apart might have made her miss me. She may want to reconnect and see what we can be.

I finished my university course in London at the beginning of the year and have been searching for what comes next. I don’t know if America will hold the answers for me, but it’s worth a try.

Ring, ring... Ring, ring... Ring, ring...

It takes me a couple of moments to realize that it’s my phone ringing. I didn’t even know I had it turned on until that very moment. The flight was tiring so my brain isn’t working at full capacity.

Hello? Lydia? I smile to myself at the thought of my best friend back at home. I always know exactly where I stand with her, which is something I love. I’m here, I landed.

Rue, you haven’t made your mind to stay yet, have you? she whines back. Because England misses you.

I already told you that I’m not going to stay, I laugh back. This is just a fleeing visit. Something I need to do. But I will let you know when I am on the way back, so we can have a night out.

You can’t even have a night out in America, can you? You are a little off twenty one, so you’re sober.

Probably for the best. University brought some mad times with it. Plus... I don’t know if drinking booze and facing my mother will be the best idea in the world. I shudder at the idea. She’s going to be challenging.

Lydia knows how challenging as well. As much as another person who hasn’t ever met her can. My mom basically packed me up and sent me off to live with my father when she got married to her very rich husband. She gave some bull shit excuse about it being a better life for me, but really, she didn’t want me in the way. She had clearly found what she was looking for, and I wasn’t a part of that picture. Yes, it hurt me and made my head spin, but I got over it when I realized that I could have a great life in the UK... or I thought I did.

Now, being back here, I don’t know if I ever did really recover or if I just pushed it to the side.

You know that I will be on the other end of the phone if you need me, Lydia continues. It doesn’t even matter about the time difference. I got your back.

I cradle the phone closer to my ear, a spike of home sickness careening through me. I wish that I was back with Lydia, talking, watching movies, styling one another’s hair... the usual things. Anything other than being here.

Yeah well I might take you up on that later on. I don’t even know if my mom realizes that I’m serious when I said that I’m coming. She probably isn’t even expecting me, and I’ll end up out on the streets.

I’m sure step daddy, Benjamin Roberts, will have enough room for you in his mansion.

It might not be big enough, believe me. If I need to get away from that woman, I will.

Well, I will have my phone next to me at all times, so hit me up if you have to.

My bag arrives on the conveyor belt at that moment, so I say a quick goodbye to Lydia and hang up the phone with promises to call her later on, even just to let her know what’s going on.

I try to shove the anxiety to the side as I step out of the airport, even as the realization hits me that I’m really here. It’s been a plan for such a long time that it’s strange to have it actually happening, but here I am. I’m in America, California all over again. I’m about to face the side of my family who I haven’t seen in years.

You can do this; I tell myself seriously. You can face her. It might not be so bad.

I hail a cab, needing to take action before I completely freak out and remain at the airport until I can get a flight back again. The temptation is there and it’s all too real. Even as the car pulls up, I’m not sure that I’m going to get in it. But I do. I step inside and spout off the address in a strange robotic manner. Soon, we are whizzing along the streets that were once so familiar to me, but now hold a strange almost sepia tone. I guess none of this is going to feel real until I finally lay my eyes on my mother, and I see how she reacts.

Here we are, miss, the cab driver declares as he pulls up outside the biggest building that I have ever seen. It might even be larger than Buckingham Palace... unless my terror is causing my brain to play tricks on me. It was big before I left, sure, but it seems like there have been endless additions put on since I was last here.

Er, yes, thank you. I take out some bills and hand them to the driver with my pulse racing.

Have a nice day! Oh God, I forgot about that. The whole niceness that comes in the US. We don’t have that in England. The whole stiff upper lip stereotype is real. Thank you for riding with me.

I can’t reply. I don’t have the inner strength to make that happen, so I simply slam the door behind me, and look up at the house that I suppose I’m about to call home, at least for a little while.

Come on, I whisper to myself. Get your ass inside before you run away.

I feel myself walking, but my feet don’t touch the ground. If it wasn’t for the sound of my suitcase wheels dragging along the floor, I don’t know if I would know that I’m moving at all.

Knock, knock. The sound is strange and echoey, so I press the bell instead.

No one answers. It feels like forever before I even notice footsteps coming towards the door. I step backwards, and brace myself, trying to prepare for what comes next. Who it’s going to be...

Oh my God, Rue, you’re really here! It’s my mother, and it’s immediately apparent that she has been crying. You’re here. I nearly forgot that you were coming with everything that has been going on.

She throws her arms around me and pulls me in to a hug. It’s a strange hug that doesn’t feel anything like a reunion. It doesn’t have much to do with me at all. As she cries on my shoulder, it seems like she’s trying to hold herself up on me. I pat her back, wondering what the hell I am supposed to be doing.

What... erm, what’s happening, Mom? Is everything okay? Sorry, I don’t... I don’t know what...

Oh, it’s awful, she sobs back. Benjamin collapsed. He’s in the hospital. They think it’s a heart attack or something. I have been at the hospital with him. I just came back to get some of his things, so it’s lucky that you got here right now. You can come back to the hospital with me.

That idea strikes me as something utterly terrifying. I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mom. I can just wait here until you come back. I don’t think Benjamin will want me there. He barely even knows me.

No. Mom squeezes my hand far too hard. I need you with me. I can’t do this alone.

Mom, I don’t think that’s a good idea... I really... Oh God, she isn’t going to let this go. Er, okay, right.

Thank you, Rue. Thank you. You don’t know how much I need you right now.

I don’t know if that feels nice, or a lot of responsibility. You’re welcome. Whatever you need.

Mom calls a car that seems to arrive at the speed of light, far before I can get my head in order, and soon we’re on the way to the hospital. The hospital where the stepfather I don’t really know, lies in a bed after a heart attack. The stepfather who clearly didn’t want me around in the first place, all so I can keep my mother happy. Well isn’t this just a fucking wonderful first night? Not exactly what I had planned.

Still, I have to roll with whatever happens. I don’t think I have any choice. As weird as this all is right now, it may well turn out okay in the end. This might be the odd bonding experience that me and my mom need.

YOU’RE BACK. I’M SHOCKED by the sound of a growling, angry voice behind the door. That didn’t take long.

I am back. I can’t ignore the bitter twist in my mother’s voice as she replies. I have everything now. Oh, and it’s a good thing I went home when I did, because I found my daughter had arrived.

Mom steps to one side and there I see him, the person I had almost allowed myself to forget. Almost. James Roberts, Benjamin’s son. Technically my stepbrother now, I suppose, after the wedding. Not that I will ever be able to see him that way. He’s part of the reason why I was glad to go to England, I needed to escape him.

The crush I had on him, my first ever crush, was all consuming and too much for me to handle. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think about anything other than him. His dark gorgeous hair, his piercing green eyes, his body that was unlike anything I had ever seen before... helped by the fact that he has always been a couple of years older than me. Of course, he never even looked my way. I was an annoyance to him. The younger stepsister that he didn’t want. He was probably glad when I was sent away too.

I don’t know if he’s going to be glad that I’m back or not, but it won’t matter. I’m not the young kid with a crush on him anymore. I’m a grown ass woman who doesn’t even like him because he’s a bit of an ass.

Hey, I mutter quietly, barely looking him in the eye.

Hi, he replies, just as childishly. Good to see you, Rue.

I bet it isn’t good to see me at all, but that is just tough. This visit isn’t about him.

Chapter 3 – James

Good to see you, Rue . Huh, why the hell did I say that? It isn’t good to see her, or her gold digging mother. I don’t like either of them. Well, that isn’t fair. I don’t know the girl really, she vanished years ago, but I can only assume that she’s exactly like Mary, and not the sort of person that I want to be associated with.

Still, we are in the hospital building, so