Becoming the Sexual Athlete: How to Close the Orgasm Gap and be Brilliant in Bed

By Gilli Moorhawk and Don Fuerza

Move Over Oral Sex - Penetration is the New Super-Power for Lovers

Wonderful sex isn't simply about having more pleasure, or more orgasms. Deep sexual satisfaction creates peace, happiness and contentment that radiates out into all aspects of your relationship, your work and family life, and your community.

• Language: English
• Publisher: aphroditebooks
• Release date: Jun 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9780955139956

Gilli Moorhawk

Gilli Moorhawk is an author, embodiment coach, and EFT trauma practitioner. She is a passionate advocate of all aspects of the reproductive cycle, from deeply satisfying sex, through a peaceful and healthy pregnancy and a safe and beautiful birth for both mother and baby.

Book preview

Acknowledgments

DON

Dedicated to my father, who made me the man I am.

GILLI

Thanks to all the men and women on Feeld

who kindly answered my deeply personal questions

and read early drafts,

Mo and Dr S for practical advice,

and Avi for great information and hours of effort,

Tracy Buenk for editing and generous feedback,

Donald, Mandy and Nilo for design tips and encouragement,

And Alex for persisting with the book,

and getting the results we wish for everyone.

Disclaimer – Important! Read This First

VERY IMPORTANT: Some of our readers may have experienced trauma at some point in their life and if you suspect that sexual or any other kind of trauma is affecting your sex life, please speak to a specialist in this area for help - we all deserve to have the joy of sexual pleasure in our life. In rare cases it is possible that the intense sexual states that arise during these practices may trigger negative memories or flashbacks in some individuals. If you have a history of sexual trauma, please proceed with caution, and ideally work with a sexually-aware therapist while extending and deepening your sexual connection with your partner.

VERY IMPORTANT: Men should never maintain an erection for more than three hours without allowing it to go flaccid for at least a few minutes to allow the blood to recirculate. There is a rare medical problem where the blood gets stuck in the penis (a side effect of Viagra or using a penis ring for too long) and the penis can become gangrenous with catastrophic results.

VERY IMPORTANT: Women can occasionally fall pregnant at a non-fertile point in their cycle when using these techniques. On rare occasions Long Duration Penetration and intense sexual responses can trigger ovulation any point in a woman’s cycle.

If you make Long Duration Penetration a regular part of your sex life, always ensure you are using reliable contraception.

The material in this book is provided for educational purposes only. The information is given based on the personal experience of the authors. While we believe that everyone can improve their sex life by following the advice given in the book, we cannot provide any guarantees that it will work for you. While human beings are similar, they can have very different experiences depending on their health, age, motivation and life experience.

This book is sold with the understanding that neither the authors nor the publisher is rendering medical or psychological advice. If you are having persistent sexual problems, you should seek professional medical advice.

While the herbal and nutritional supplements discussed in this book are well researched, they may affect people differently depending on their physiology and some may interact with any pharmaceutical drugs you are taking. You should seek advice from a doctor, pharmacist, health practitioner or qualified nutritionist before changing your diet or taking any supplements or herbs that are mentioned in the book, especially if you are also taking prescribed or over-the-counter medication.

The techniques described in this book are given to help individuals and couples increase their sexual pleasure, relationship satisfaction and well-being. None of the techniques or practices mentioned herein should cause any physical or emotional discomfort. If any pain or discomfort arises, the person should stop and, if necessary, seek medical attention.

No part of this book should be used as a means of self-treatment for any sexual problem nor as an alternative to medical or psychological treatment.

By proceeding to read this material you agree that any uses of the techniques and information in this book are taken at your own risk.

Preface

Despite coming from different backgrounds and cultures, Don and I have views that coincide deeply around the importance of sexual pleasure. We know how beneficial sexual satisfaction is for happiness and peace in our intimate relationships and how those positive emotions spread out into our family, our neighbours and our community.

Few cultures in the 21st century provide open and honest sexual training for their young people, and where education is lacking, porn on the internet has stepped in to fill the gap. Sadly, porn is not a thoughtful or honest teacher around women’s pleasure, or the view of sexuality in a loving relationship. Porn is deliberately created to appeal to men’s visual senses and provide a male-pleasure-centred view of the sexual act. The clips that are consumed by the billion every month are generally more about lust than love.

This is the paradox: our culture seems to be obsessed with sexuality, everywhere we look bodies are used to sell us products and services. Yet the divorce statistics suggest that few people are deeply and profoundly satisfied with their relationships and their love lives.

I’m reminded of an old story where the white man laughs at the Native American for singing and dancing for rain. Why do your people spend so much time singing for rain? The Native American shrugs and replies, We sing for rain because we don’t have any. Then he asks the white man. Why do your people always sing about love?

You could easily replace the word ‘love’ with the word ‘sex’.

In a Facebook survey I ran during the writing of this book the results were somewhat surprising in some areas, and rather predictable in others. 80% of the men wanted more sex, and 50% said they would like more penetration. More than 60% of the women said they wanted more sex, a surprising 50% wanted more penetration and a large proportion, nearly 70%, said they would be interested in having more sex, if only it was more enjoyable.

Our aim is simple: we offer some techniques and instructions, mainly connected with longer duration penis-in-vagina penetration (LDP), that can help to make your sex life more enjoyable, both for the man and for the woman. We know that if your sex-life is deeply satisfying, that will also make your intimate relationship better in lots of ways.

We’re not introducing anything unusual or unexpected here, the suggestions are all straightforward, but combined they have an impact greater than the sum of the individual parts. The benefit is simply more mutual pleasure…

… and more pleasure has the knock-on effect of making people more creative, more loving, more happy and more peaceful.

And surely the world today needs more peace and happiness.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Disclaimer – Important! Read This First

Preface

Gilli

Don

Introduction

1 A Word For The Men

2 Penetration

3 A Word For The Women

4 All Shapes And Sizes

5 Preparation – Men

6 Preparation - Women

7 Timing – Immediate Benefit

8 Supplements & Aphrodisiacs – Medium Term Benefit

9 Food – What And When You Eat – Immediate Benefit

10 Muscle Practices For Men – Long Term Benefit

11 Emotional Connection – Medium Term Benefit

12 A Focused Mind – Medium Term Benefit

13 Positions – Immediate Benefit

14 Techniques – Medium Term Benefit

15 Practice Makes Perfect

16 A Little Motivation

17 Male Training Tips & Common Problems

18 Women’s Training Tips

19 Troubleshooting Q&A

20 Thoughts on Pornography

21 Quick Cheat Sheet

Appendix 1

Gilli

Twenty years ago, I was working in a busy, all female office. It must have been a staff away-day as normally we were rushed off our feet, but this day we were all sitting chatting – 10 women aged from their late 20s to early 40s - and the subject somehow turned to sex. To my surprise, most of the women quickly admitted that while they enjoyed sex for the first few weeks of a relationship, after that they really weren’t bothered - they’d rather watch TV. My friend Sharon and I were the exception, we both really enjoyed sex and were quite open about it, but I never forgot that 80% of a diverse group of women across different ages, colours, and nationalities simply didn’t enjoy sex. I remember feeling confused and a bit sad. I didn’t understand why sex could be a source of such great delight for some women, and so ‘take-it-or-leave-it’ for many others.

1980s pop icon Boy George once famously retorted, Sex! I’d rather have a cup of tea, and during my research into sexuality over the last 35 years I’ve come to realise that George was onto something. Great sex is all about T. A little more Technique, a lot more Trust, and lots and lots of Time.

A little more Technique, a lot more Trust, and lots and lots of Time

When my marriage ended after 15 years, I tentatively explored the London tantra scene, but it didn’t feel right for me, so I travelled to India and learned some traditional tantric practices that were really powerful. When I returned to London, I was ready to embrace my deepest sexuality, and then I met Don.

It was a perfect storm. Meditation had stopped my incessant mind chatter, I was deeply connected with my body and I now realised that one of the key things my body needed in the bedroom was more time, and time was what Don had to give.

In one of our first conversations, he told me he could make a woman come 100 times in 100 minutes of penetration. My friends all laughed when I told them and said he was just making it up, but I somehow knew he was telling the truth. We became lovers a few months later and during our time together he proved his abilities again and again.

I ejaculated, for the first time ever, early on in our relationship (having tried for years without success), and three months later I had my first transcendent sexual experience: my mind switched off and I could barely speak for 24 hours. It was like instant Zen meditation!

To be honest though, it wasn’t an easy process for either of us. Don complained grumpily one day… Why are women so different? This worked for my ex, why doesn’t it work for you? Why do I have to learn your body from scratch?

Although I now had so much more pleasure from penetration, orgasms were still frustratingly elusive. Then after six months I had my first multiple orgasm*... six bursts of pleasure one after the other. I was utterly thrilled and Don was too.

But the best was yet to come. After a day in the countryside, and several tiring hours driving, we returned home late in the afternoon and retired to bed for some lazy lovemaking. It had been a long day for both of us and usually sex in the evening wasn’t nearly as good as sex earlier in the day, yet things quickly became extraordinary. The last thing I remember was suddenly it wasn’t lazy any more, it was passionate and ecstatic and beyond anything I had previously experienced. The problem is I can’t remember any details after that; all I know is it was completely different to any sex we’d ever had before. Don says I had a dozen or more orgasms, but all I know is I was suddenly transported to a state of complete bliss.

So, I can put my hand on my heart and say that Don’s process changed my life. His ability to sustain his erection for two hours, transformed my sexual response from one or maybe two clitoral orgasms (if I was really lucky!), to G-spot orgasms, ejaculations, both types of multiple orgasm*, altered states of consciousness and hours of extraordinary sexual pleasure. I am beyond grateful for all that he has awakened in me and I believe that since these simple changes transformed my sex life, when I was starting from quite a poor baseline, that any woman who genuinely wants to have this kind of experience, and is willing to engage and practice and persevere with their partner, should also find their way to this kind of sexual delight.

Sometimes, just knowing that this kind of intense and magical sexual delight is possible, enables people to find their way to it.

I hope that by sharing this information it will be possible for any man to have the pleasure and satisfaction of sending their partner to these ecstatic places, and for women to switch from being bored by sex, to being thrilled and delighted by it.

Even if you only adopt a few of the suggestions, you can certainly enhance your sexual experience within a few short weeks. If you wish to aim for mastery, and are willing to invest in many hours of penetrative pleasure, there are tips and techniques for you too.

Whichever path you choose, I wish and your partner the joy of hours of deep pleasure, increased connection and much love along the way.

Gilli Moorhawk, May 2023, London

* Note: There are two types of multiple orgasms: sequential: which is having several orgasms in a session, and serial which is a