The Relationship Between Ish (The Man) and Isha (The Woman)

By Dr. Frederick Doe PhD

This book is an attempt to answer some of the intricacies and the intriguing issues in the relationship between man and woman especially in marriage relationships. It is also intended to explore the nature and attributes of these two originally ‘perfect-bound’ creatures of God and how though different, these two can co-exist and inter-relate in peace, harmony and bliss.

This book will be a helpful guide for counselors in the ministry of marriage counseling. Its pragmatic approach coupled with examples from real-life experiences will help provide more than theoretical road-map for both 'about-to-enter' marriage couples and those who have already entered into it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Jun 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9781489747839

Dr. Frederick Doe PhD

The author of this book is a devout Christian with many years of experience in Christian Ministry. He has served in many Christian leadership positions and still serving. He has been married to Dr. Roseline Doe for 23 years and they have 3 adult children (Alvin, Jaynell and Lemuel). He holds a MSc. in Management and a PhD in Business Administration. He is a professor of Management and Organizational Behavior. He is also the author of 'Shaping Destiny Through Relationships' and other books. Dr. Doe has special interest in relationships and relationship counseling.

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Copyright © 2023 Dr. Frederick Doe, PhD.

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Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright ©1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the

National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the World English Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-4897-4781-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-4783-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023909596

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 05/23/2023

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

PREAMBLE

CHAPTER 1:   AND GOD MADE MAN

CHAPTER 2:   WHAT IS MAN (ISH)?

CHAPTER 3:   SHE SHALL BE CALLED WOMAN (ISHA)

-THE DESIRE OF THE WOMAN

CHAPTER 4:   THE IDEAL MAN OR WOMAN

CHAPTER 5:   LOVE AND COURTSHIP

CHAPTER 6:   THE MARRIAGE VOWS

CHAPTER 7:   TO LEAVE AND TO CLEAVE

CHAPTER 8:   SEX AND SEXUALITY

CHAPTER 9:   AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY AFTER

POSTSCRIPT

BIBLIOGRAPHY

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to every married person who is striving to live up to God’s standard of the Holy Estate of Matrimony. It takes boldness to enter into this institution and courage and perseverance to remain in it. Many have shied away from it and many have jumped ship when they were confronted with challenges in their marriages. So, if you my dear reader, has succeeded in staying the course, you deserve to be celebrated. And for those seeking to enter this institution, I am happy that you are making the effort to learn about it before entering. This book is for you too!

Let’s all enjoy!

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Writing this book has been long and hard. It has taken gathering all the experiences I have had and all the knowledge I have gleaned from the pages of kindred books and writings. So let me first of all thank my wife, Dr Mrs. Roseline Dansowaa Doe, who has been my companion for 23 years. Our conversations (sometimes late in the night) and ‘round-table’ discussions especially when we hit bumps along the way have paved the way for this book to be written. I salute you!

I want to also thank members of Gateway Couples Fellowship- a fellowship of married Christian men and women, from where I have gleaned a lot of knowledge. The collective and shared knowledge of everyone has fuelled my resolve to write this book and I believe we can continue to learn.

Finally, I am grateful to Rev. Emmanuel Asomani and Mrs. Harriet Asomani, my Pastors- who made valuable inputs into this book. May your ministry continue to be a blessing to many.

"Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen". (1 Timothy 1:17, King James Version-1611)

PREAMBLE

When we read the Bible account of creation, we are struck with a remarkable incidence that took place in the creation process. This Incidence is the creation of ‘man’ and the subsequent ‘by-creation’ of a ‘woman’ out of man. In the creation of all other creatures, plants and the consternation, the Bible records that God ‘SPOKE’ them into being: And God said "…. Let there be……" This phrase, And God said…. which occurs repeatedly in the account means: God willed, decreed, appointed; and the determining will of God was followed in every instance by an immediate result. However, in the case of man, the Bible says "And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul". (Genesis 2:7- King James Version, 1611). This means that the first man was not born as men now are, and did not grow up gradually; but just as other things were formed by the power of God at once, he was created full-grown and perfect.

The use of the word formed in the text also implies that man was hand-crafted out of the soil by God himself. We can therefore infer three things from the text:

1. That man was custom-made and therefore man was or should be a perfect prototype of the image that God made or intended to make of himself.

2. That the ‘woman’ is also a by-creation made out of ‘man’. So even if there were structural mistakes in the nature of man, God would have ‘corrected’ them in the ‘by-creation’ of the ‘woman’. The woman should therefore, more than anyone else, be absolutely faultless.

3. Again, that if the woman was made out of man, then there should not be any opposition, divergence and misunderstanding between these two beings. This is because they are essentially the same in their nature except for their different sexual appendages and the fact that the woman carries an internal sack called ‘womb’ for which reason the original meaning of her nomenclature ‘woman’ is ‘the man with a womb’- ‘womb-man’. And YET, there are! And these differences tend to create unpleasant situations in mankind’s attempt to live up to God’s standards for the Holy Estate of Matrimony.

This book is therefore an attempt to answer some of the intricacies and the intriguing issues in the relationship between the man and the woman especially in marriage relationships. It is also intended to explore the nature and attributes of these two originally ‘perfect-bound’ ‘main-d’ouvres’ of God and how though different, these two can co-exist and inter-relate in peace, harmony and bliss.

This book will be a helpful guide for counsellors in the ministry of marriage counselling. Its pragmatic approach coupled with examples from real-life experiences will help provide more than theoretical roadmap for both about-to-enter marriage couples and those who have already entered into it.

I have chosen to use the words ‘ISH’ and ‘ISHA’ which are the original Hebrew words for ‘man’ and ‘woman’ as the title for this book. So come with me into a study of the ‘man’ and the ‘woman’ and I pray that you are blessed as you read it.

COME!

Dr FREDERICK DOE

© 2023

"And God made man in his image, in the image of God

He made him: male and female He made them."

- GENESIS 1:27 (BIBLE IN BASIC ENGLISH (BBE), 1949)

CHAPTER ONE

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AND GOD MADE MAN

T HE QUESTION ABOUT THE NATURE of Man (mankind) has been the subject of discussion or debate for centuries. Here, the word ‘man’ is used as a generic word to refer to both male and female (without any deference to advocates and subscribers of homosexuality). Psychologists, sociologists and everybody else have tried without success to provide complete understanding of the nature or Man. This is because it is impossible to know the way something is supposed to function without referring to the manual or consulting with the manufacturer. So as the first point of call, we need to understand that the source of Man (ISH) and woman (ISHA) is God.

The Bible says in Genesis 1:27 (BBE,1949):

And God made Man) in his image, in the image of God he made him: male and female he made them.

Understanding where Man came from and what he is made of, helps in understanding and evaluating his behaviour and his responses in life situations, especially marriage. It is humbling and awesome to know that the Great and Most High God made Man and in making him, He decided to make Man in his very own image. He could have made Manin the image of the angels or a little higher in specification than animals. But HE chose to make Man in HIS own image.

The story of the creation of Man can best be understood if we compare it with a stream and a spring. God is the spring and Man was the stream. The stream must resemble the spring which produced it.

What is the image of God? Bible commentators all agree:

A. That the image of God which is Man does not refer to the body of Man, but to his soul.

B. That Man was made in the image of God at two levels:

Firstly, Like God, Man was made a rational spirit, exercising dominion. At creation, the human mind was endowed with the most extraordinary capacities. Man was not made like God in his immortality, for Man does not, like God, have an infinite past as well as an infinite future. Man was made like God in his soul having righteousness and true holiness according to Ephesians 4:24 and Colossians 3:10 which by implication would include wisdom, truth, innocence, power and a dignity of mien.

The soul is an intelligent, immortal, active spirit, which resembles God, the Father of spirits. God is holy, just, wise, good, and perfect; and so, must the soul be that sprang from him. There could be nothing impure, unjust, ignorant, evil, low, base, mean, or wicked in the nature of God. In fact, the Bible declares that Man was made upright according to Ecclesiastes 7:29:

Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made Man upright; but they have sought out many inventions (King James Version, 1611)

It means that Man had a habitual conformity of all his natural powers to the whole will of God. His understanding saw divine things clearly and there were no errors in his knowledge; his will complied readily and universally with the will of God without reluctance; his affections were all pure, and he had no excessive appetites or passions; his thoughts were easily fixed on the best subjects, and there was no vanity in them.

Secondly, Man was also made like God in His place and authority. The Bible says God specifically said about Man let him have dominion. God made him the governor of the inferior creatures and HIS representative on earth. And God gave Man the freedom of his will.

Thirdly, if the scripture says that God made Man then it pre-supposes that Man does not have the inherent ability to change his own nature without the intervention of God himself. Any person who claims to have been or is a self-made Man is therefore a fake imitation and cannot function in life the way God himself desires him to, neither can he live up to God’s standards and expectations especially in the area of marriage. It takes God to make a Man whatsoever He may desire the Man OR in deed the Man (ISH) himself may desire to be.

So, what is the point here? The point here is that, the original nature of Man was that of a perfect being until Adam sinned and corrupted his nature. Since then, Man has assumed different characteristics which are not at all like his original nature but are rather patterned after our sinful heritage: selfish, wicked, unholy and generally geared towards evil tendencies.

The only way Man can be restored to his original nature is by putting on the new Man. The new Man refers to the renovated nature. That is being born again and becoming a new creature in Christ. The new Man has a new heart, new thoughts, and a new life, in consequence of having been renewed in the spirit of his mind by the Holy Ghost. The ‘new Man’ has new feelings, principles, and desires. He lays aside his old principles and practices, and, in everything that pertains to moral character, he is new. His body is still the same though and the intellectual structure of his mind remains the same; but there has been a change in his principles and feelings which make him, for all intents and purposes, a new being. That is, the renewed Man is made to inherit the righteousness of God in Christ. The object of the work of redemption which Jesus did is to restore to Man the lost image of God, or to bring him back to the condition in which he was before the fall.

For Man to really function as God originally designed him to, he has to become born again. The foundation of any meaningful and blissful marital relationship depends first on regeneration of a Man’s spirit. And here I am referring not only to Man as in the male species but in generic terms to both Man and woman. The blissful fulfilment of a marital relationship is possible and more interesting where the two parties are regenerated in their spirit. Otherwise, the parties in the marriage will and can only act in respect of their corrupted nature which as stated at the beginning of this chapter, is egocentric, wicked and generally geared towards evil tendencies.

Marriages are breaking down primarily because of the sinful Adamic nature of man and secondly because we have chosen to ignore Biblical principles laid down to govern and secure marriage as an institution.

In the remaining chapters of this book, we shall attempt to look at relationships in general and the marriage in particular and ways in which we can all enjoy it to the fullest possible measure.

"What is Man (ISH), that thou art mindful of him?

And the son of Man (ISH), that thou visitest him?"

- PSALM 8:4 (KING JAMES VERSION, 1611)

CHAPTER TWO

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WHAT IS MAN (ISH)?

T HERE ARE FOUR (4) HEBREW expressions that are rendered man in the Authorized King James Version:

First of all, there is ‘Adam’, the name of the man created in the image of God. This name appears to be derived from ‘adam’, he or it was red or ruddy,. This was the generic term for the human race.

The second expression is ‘Ish’, (man) as distinguished from woman. The third expression is ‘Geber’, a man, which means to be strong. The last one is ‘Methim’ which means, men, always masculine.

In spite of the above, understanding the nature of Man (ISH) remains a baffle. No wonder the Psalmist pondered:

What is Man (ISH), that thou art mindful of him? And the son of Man (ISH), that thou visitest him?

(Psalm 8:4-KJV, 1611)

What indeed is Man (ISH)? Here, I am using the word ‘Man (ISH)’ in specific terms to refer to the male specie of the human race. Beyond the physical appearance of Man (ISH) comprising body parts and the sexual appendage which distincts the ‘male’ from the ‘female’, what is the real nature of Man (ISH)?

To answer this question, we shall be looking at the nature of Man (ISH) from many perspectives including:

Biblical, Anthropological, Psychological, Physiological, Biological, Spiritual, Sociological and Emotional.

THE ANTHROPOLOGY/BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

According to Easton’s Bible Dictionary, the name ‘Man (ISH)’ derived from the Hebrew word ‘Adam’ meaning to be red, and thus the first Man (ISH) was called Adam because he was formed from the red earth. Genesis 2:7 (KJV, 1611) says:

And the LORD God formed Man (ISH) of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and Man (ISH) became a living soul.

Science has proved that the substance of his flesh, sinews, and bones, consists of the very same elements as the soil which forms the crust of the earth and the limestone that lies embedded in its bowels. The word ‘form’ as used in the scripture above also means to ‘shape’, ‘mold’ or ‘construct’. So, God ‘molded’ Man (ISH) out of the dust. By implication therefore, from the anthropological and Biblical point of view, MAN (ISH) IS DUST. This qualification is neither allegorical nor metaphysical. It simply means what it says. God did not make the Man (ISH) out of a rock which has a greater longevity but He molded him out of the dust. A rock is harder, stronger and less receptive than dust. It is implied then that Man (ISH) (dust) is more malleable and breakable than a rock. So, far from being the inflexible or tough person that a Man (ISH) would usually want to be seen, Man (ISH) is soft, and pliable.

That is why men are able to change their minds and character or have them changed by another person.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust - Psalm 103:14 (KJV, 1611)

Again, since Man (ISH) is dust, it also implies that he can disintegrate or demise according to the following scriptures: Is it surprising therefore that we break down sometimes.

"Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto