Just Enough Faith to Uncharted Territory: Come to Life
By Ina Bochian
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About this ebook
The primary purpose of this book is to publish poems and spoken word pieces that can be adapted into songs. Some are polished, while others are just verses. I am planning on recording some of this collection as songs, raps, or spoken word pieces. Before hitting the studio, I wanted to publish this as a book because song production can take months to years to finalize. I wanted this collection to come out sooner than the finished products.
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Just Enough Faith to Uncharted Territory - Ina Bochian
DEDICATION
To Heavy Hitters
"What’s in your heartbeat helps you remember your dreams. Remember me...
I’m gonna write you a book just to sing you a song."
Bloodstream, The Piano Room by Adam Rivera
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Note From the Author 5
About the Author 6
Acknowledgements 7
Introduction: Uncharted Territory
Dear Green Dreamer 8
Dear Post Card Man 11
Part I: Tangled Words, Poems, and Rhymes
Kerosene Scenes 54
Kerosene Scenes 56
(edited with John Allen and Azaria Cooper)
Detour 58
New York Bar 59
Somebody 62
Gravedigger 64
Strength Hurts 66
Distance 68
Savage 70
Stolen Artist 73
Brady and Lately 76
Schemes 78
Elusive 80
A Mensch Named Jacob 82
Restless 85
Uncertain 87
Heartless 88
Again, let’s begin 90
Heart Remix 92
Moon and Stars 93
Fresh Start and Art 94
Internally Melanated 97
Foxes 100
The Goat 103
A Catalyst 107
The Start of Something New 109
Going to War 111
Part II: Unfinished Songs and Poems
Everybody Here Loves You 113
Rags to Riches 114
Masked 115
Build 116
Keep Walking 118
Q U EE N 119
Ghosting 120
Random Rhymes & Bars 121
Part III: Previously Published Edited Works
Snow in April 123
Cold Mondays 125
Chicago: My Territory 128
Wilted Flower 130
Upside Down Luxury 132
The Jewish People Are Tired 135
A Name is Not Just a Name 138
Afterword 140
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
The primary purpose of this book is to publish poems and spoken word pieces that can be adapted into songs. Some are polished, while others are just verses. I am planning on recording some of this collection as songs, raps, or spoken word pieces. Before hitting the studio, I wanted to publish this as a book because song production can take months to years to finalize. I wanted this collection to come out sooner than the finished products.
The secondary purpose of this book is to get a message out to someone who needs to hear it. The stories included in this collection along with the poetry and spoken word pieces may or may not be directed to one person, but an archetype. In other words, when I use you,
it may be an individual or a collective (a character made up of several people). Take what resonates and leave the rest. This whole collection is a lesson about perseverance and finding reasons to live fully.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ina Ruxandra Bochian is a fine artist, author, actress, designer, and writer with a degree from University of Illinois at Chicago.
In 2020, Ina started an art brand to inspire and encourage called Just Enough Faith. The idea behind the brand is to have just enough faith
to keep moving forward in life no matter what. She is a working artist who finds love, hope, and joy from creating artwork, mentoring others, and writing.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
Thank you to those of you who helped me move this project forward and to those who helped me find reasons to have just enough faith
to believe I am here to create amazing things and worthy of all the love. I love the life I have now and my ability to share my journey with those who are in a dark or transitionary period. Because of you, I can now give others hope and pay it forward. You lit a fire inside me when I felt the light inside was dim. You saved my life.
My Soulmates & My Family
John Allen
Claire Cesarz
Azaria Cooper
The Davids in my life
Rose Harding
Miles Holt
The Nick of Time Muse
Zachary Jablow
Stevie Jarvis
Danny Jacobson
Jason M. Peterson
Eric Thomas
Luis Alberto Urrea
INTRODUCTION
UNCHARTED TERRITORY
May 6, 2023
DEAR GREEN DREAMER,
I am not sure what April 21st means for you. Perhaps nothing at all. For me, this day came during the worst week of my entire life. Though it was the worst day of my life, it was also a day full of potential and possibilities. Distraught and discouraged, I still felt like I was walking on the edge of possibilities.
I looked at myself in the mirror and said, You’re either going to break down or rise. Do not compromise.
I took a deep breath, feeling it all the way to my core, and started to weep. Letting the tears flow, I almost heard the sound they made against the wooden floor. Vulnerable and raw, I allowed myself space to feel all my emotions. I was in control.
Within ten to fifteen minutes, I decided to shift my energy. I prayed for divine direction. Grabbing my phone, I started scrolling until I came upon a live coaching session with a motivational speaker previously introduced to me by one of my own coaches. I had not tuned in to him for a while, but I felt drawn to stick around, even though I wanted to drown in my own tears.
He was hosting a question-and-answer session. I had a question I already knew the answer to, but I wanted someone to talk to in that moment of frustration. He accepted my request to be on the live show and offered me guidance regarding my art.
Rattled by grief and sorrow, my mind was not entirely tuned in. I couldn’t fully concentrate on what was being said. However, I stuck around. I wanted to be in that energy, to be seen, to be heard, even if I could not absorb everything that was being said.
After interacting with the coach, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry. I was in no mood to sit there and hear anyone else talking about their problems. It took everything inside me to listen to other people ask their questions. As I heard others discuss their struggles, a little voice inside my head whispered, The best way to forget about your problems is to help someone else.
My ego, however, argued with that voice, I am T I R E D. I do not want to help any more people. There’s usually nothing in it for me. I end up getting hurt helping others. What about someone helping me?
My ego and my higher consciousness were at war. Nevertheless, it seemed like G-d’s voice was whispering internally, It’s better to feel pain and recycle it. Help someone. You’re here for a reason.
Begrudgingly, I reached out to three people. Of those three, you were the only one who accepted my offer to help.
For a while, it seemed that we were connecting, but then we had this uncharted territory
conversation, and everything changed. Following a period of silence, I felt compelled to write. Some of the works included in this collection can be adapted into songs. Some are directly related to this new uncharted challenge,
while others are vignettes of past stories and other territories.
At first, I couldn’t figure out the pain point of the connection. Eventually, it dawned on me. I saw stubbornness and resistance in your eyes and a broken spirit. I saw myself. It was me I recognized and wanted to help. This mirroring effect helped me look inward. I saw my own past character defects and other areas of development I am still working on daily. I saw parts of myself that still needed healing from scars and open wounds left by people in the past.
Take my words with a grain of salt. If they feel like they burn your wounds, it is because I am still licking mine.
Some pieces are from the last few years I wanted to include for context, while a few remain unfinished because such is life: an unfinished story. Cheers to this chapter!
May 8, 2023
DEAR POSTCARD MAN,
If you know you know.
I ran out of postcards. So, here’s a letter in this book. I’m always leveling up, but this time we can use this creativity to win together.
Recently, a friend struggling with mental health transitioned. Her passing affected me more than I can explain. This soul gone too soon was one of the people who helped me find reasons to live when I’d pray to catch a bullet. I met her around the same time I met you. Her light dimmed prematurely. It is not too late for those who did not know her to be inspired by her, but I hope the impact she had on me can help keep her legacy alive. I think of her as Star because when I prayed for a friend, it was like wishing upon a star and she appeared.
Everything came full circle. This resolution is like a scene straight out of War & Peace. It seems the war within myself had made it out to this peaceful chapter of my life full of creative reflection. All our history aside, I am elated we are both thriving on our creative journeys. I will always have nothing