Ripple Effect

By Laikyn Meng

She is pleading to forget; he is fighting for forgiveness. 

 

She is the answer to my prayers, a promise I never knew worth keeping. She doesn't believe in me; the world wronged her, and I was among those to blame. 

 

Alyeska "Aly" Suzuni, my beautiful nemesis, came to take away the perfect record and

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Orange 9 Publishing Company LLC
• Release date: Dec 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781088132272

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Ripple Effect

Laikyn Meng

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The Orange 9 Publishing Company

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product(s) of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental or meant to lend credibility and authenticity to the story. The use of brand names and locations should not be read as an endorsement of this author’s work. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

+18 Mature, Sexual Content. Explicit Scenes and Alcohol and Drug Use. Trigger Warnings: Mention of eating disorders, death of a parent, opioid addiction.

ISBN: 9798362323042

COPYRIGHT © 2022 The Orange 9 Publishing Company LLC LAIKYN MENG

Contents

1. Chapter 21

Alyeska

2. Chapter 22

Aladden

3. Chapter 23

Alyeska

4. Chapter 24

Aladden

5. Chapter 25

Alyeska

6. Chapter 26

Aladden

7. Chapter 27

Alyeska

8. Chapter 28

Aladden

9. Chapter 29

Alyeska

10. Chapter 30

Aladden

11. Chapter 31

Alyeska

12. Chapter 32

Aladden

13. Chapter 33

Alyeska

14. Chapter 34

Aladden

15. Chapter 35

Alyeska

16. Chapter 36

Aladden

17. Chapter 37

Alyeska

18. Chapter 38

Aladden

19. Chapter 39

Alyeska

20. Chapter 40

Aladden

Epilogue

Alyeska

21. Bonus Scene

Aladden

22. The End.

23. Please Leave a Review

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Chapter 21

Alyeska

They knew this would happen. I always thought on some subconscious level I was less than everyone else, and it wasn’t the fault of anyone else but my own to believe the falsehood the belief held.

Lad was wounded, but I was obliterated. I didn’t care if everyone thought I was a pill-popping liar trying to save my skin. It hurt more that the one person I opened my heart to never spoke up to defend any honor I had left to use.

But I guess when people show their villain side, they accept it as truth. I can’t pretend nothing happened between us; I don’t want to make light of his choice to throw me under the bus, fully loaded with the only people I loved in this life.

But I refuse to let him win. My jaw aches as I clench it as I think of how he smiled as if my love for him had won him an award. Even if the secrets behind his eyes were filling up, ready to take me under.

As the days following, more things come into perspective, and I can feel Lad’s eyes never leave my skin. I refuse to speak in any class. I don’t pay attention; I don’t think it matters. This is all a waste of time. There it is, my ultimate answer. I don’t belong here and know exactly what I must do after my last class. The semester is nearly over anyway. Might as well not start something I don’t know how to finish.

The stress is getting to me, and I feel nauseous as I flee the building to find the nearest bathroom. Unlucky for me, my ex-boyfriend thinks he needs to save me from myself.

I slam to my knees and start dry heaving, realizing I haven’t eaten anything to throw up, except water. Lad is behind me. He doesn’t hold my hair because he knows I might cause bodily harm to him if he tries to touch me.

He hands me a paper towel as I stand up and wash my face and hands. A fever runs through my body, and I never once assume it is anything serious but the sickness of being alive.

Are you okay? Lad asks, watching me as I check myself in the mirror.

I don’t answer him.

Why the fuck would I be?

The woman in the mirror stares at me for too long, and I can’t get her to go away.

Are you sick or pregnant or something? Lad is serious, and I laugh, not even taking it seriously. Given that I had my period last week, I haven’t fucked the man who betrayed me since before that.

Don’t worry, it isn’t yours. I give him a wink and grab my bag off the ground.

You’re going to have to try harder than that to get rid of me. Lad steps into my space, and I quirk an eyebrow; what will he do? Force me to fall back in love with him?

Like I said, it isn’t yours if I am. Grinning an evil thought.

My dad feels terrible about how he treated you; he worries about you. But what difference does the concern come from if they were the ones who inflicted the pain?

Don’t worry it isn’t his either. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Aly, can you give me a break? I know I messed up. Lad runs a hand through his dark hair, and I remember how soft it is.

I’m not pregnant, Aladden. Had my period last week; do you need proof? Want to see the used tampons? This time I don’t back down from his face. A face I loved to look at because it loved looking back at me.

Jesus, if you were, I promise. He starts, his eyes so terribly sad I might actually feel bad.

You promise what? To give up your dreams, your goals to make it to the Olympics. Even if you did knock me up, pretty boy, you would never choose us over yourself. It’s the truth; I knew it when I told him I loved him. I think that is what has always made it so scary. Trusting someone you know would leave you behind to fulfill their own needs.

That isn’t fucking fair, Alyeska. Lad’s eyes aren’t seeking sympathy; they are enraged I don’t throw myself into his arms. This is hard for me too. But I guess those words snap something inside of me.

You’ve never had a hard day in your life where you didn’t believe tomorrow you would wake up and it would be better. You never had to doubt that every day would be a constant stream of will I survive the next hour. I lost the little I had left. The only family member I had won’t speak to me because of your lies. I have no home; I don’t even know why the hell I even try. Tell me, Lad, what the fuck have you lost? Because I guarantee you want to play victim, I’ve got more scars on my track record than you have on your winning streak. I shove past him, done with our fight, done with this school, fuck, maybe even done with this entire damn state.

The tears become heavy, muddy even, but I know they are not his fault. But I insist I blame anyone else but myself. Because I knew before Lad did what he did, what this would become, how we might evolve and ruin each other for complicated reasons or out of duty.

It is much easier to withdraw from college then I thought it would be. For some reason, I thought they would fight for me to stay, but then I realized I have no name they will ever remember. Sure, it might be unique, but it doesn’t hold respect as much as Aladden Lorenzo’s does.

Without thinking much about it, I left campus and believed it might be the final time. There is more relief in each step I take, it’s easier the further I get away from here. My stomach grumbles and I remember I have an obligation to feed it.

It’s okay to eat. It’s okay to eat when my body is hungry. Food gives me nutrients and other bullshit affirmations; I say to myself as I head down to the food pantry with the less lucky people.

This is only the fourth time I have come to the soup kitchen in the past week. I didn’t want to at first, I still held onto small fragments of my pride, but I gave those tiny pieces up so I could have a warm meal.

It wasn’t five stars, but at least it was warm. The shelter was four miles away, and I had to walk back because the bus didn’t come this far out of town. I told myself things could be worse. I imagined everything could be on fire, but I have always been burning, so it didn’t feel much different.

When I step out of the food bank, Bambi is there leaning against her car. The tears in her eyes are so big I have to find the sky to shake the feeling of sadness.

What are you doing here? I sniff at the ground, scraping a mark off my shoe with my other foot.

I made a mistake. There is a trembling in her voice.

We all do. Not wanting to dwell on the subject.

No, I did a horrible, unforgivable thing. I should have never thrown you out. I shouldn’t have done anything but be there for you like you have always been there for me. We are family, just you and me, Aly. We always stick together. Bambi is holding my arms, so I don’t run away.

Until you got pregnant, had two kids, and are getting married to your long-term boyfriend. You have a new family now, Bam; no one faults you for that, especially not me. I’ve got to start walking; I need to get to the shelter before it’s dark. I shift out of her hold and put some distance between us. The area isn’t the safest, but most government-run places aren’t in the wealthiest areas.

No, come home with me. Bambi grabs my hand, and I squeeze hers.

I can’t do that, Bambi. At least at the shelter, I fit in with people like me. No one judges me there; they don’t have time to focus on my faults when they have their own troubles. The only temperature at the shelter’s shower is cold.

Don’t say that; I made a mistake; I feel terrible. I’m sorry. Julian is staying at his friend’s house. Please, forgive me, Aly. Bambi is begging, and I do want to forgive her; I do. Aladden came by and told us the truth about everything, even the accident.

Then you should know I tried to save my mother from herself and couldn’t save her. So why did I think helping Lad would be any different. I rub my chin on my shoulder and watch the haze above the city settle for the sunset. I should go, there’s a curfew, and I don’t want to chance not making it back in time and having to sleep on the streets again.

Aly, you’re being ridiculous; lose your pride and come back home. Bambi is overwhelmed and exhausted by the distance she has put between us.

And then what, Bambi? Where will I go when you and Julian get back together and have another baby or two more? Where am I going to go? Eventually, I will be pushed out, and it isn’t your fault; you don’t have to take care of me; I’m almost twenty-one. Stop feeling sorry for me; we’ve had the same life in many ways. But you’ve got direction and blessings in yours; mine just isn’t cut out for those ideals. I know you are sorry, Bambi. But I won’t forget it so soon, and I am sorry, but I would have never abandoned you in the ways you did to me that day. Maybe it is honest, probably heartless, but it is the only sentence I can come up with to let me leave her and not follow.

There is obviously remorse in my steps as I walk away from her. But there is no regret, a boundary being formed around me, and I can’t accept the fallout between the people I loved most turning their backs on me.

Bambi, Lad, I didn’t have much, but I had both of them for a short time, and I was happy; I felt loved. The tension from Bambi’s curse broke something dear inside of me.

It was better this way, I promised myself; I nodded to the inner dialogue telling me this was exactly where I needed to be. I would figure it out. Eventually, my bad luck can’t run on course forever. Someone has to break the curse, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve been ready to cut ties with the old fundamentals rather than drag them along to fulfill other pitfalls in my life.

Chapter 22

Aladden

D ad.For a second, I find the strength in my voice to carry a broad tone.

He is sitting at the opposite end of the table, where I stripped Aly down and made her mine the first time. Well, I guess second because I am a jackass for forgetting the first.

Confession is the first step I knew I had to do, to help myself, get back on track to what mattered. No matter what it costs, I would get Alyeska back. I would admit to anything if she took me back, even if it meant revealing every secret.

Give me one minute, son. Dad’s eyes are scanning over a few documents.

Dad. My impatience is waning, and I know I can’t waste another minute.

One second, almost done. He writes a few notes with his pen.

The pills were always mine. After the accident, I started to abuse them. Alyeska was in the other car, and I felt guilty. She didn’t hit my truck, dad; I hit hers. I felt ashamed, scared, and thought I killed her mom. When the cops got there, and they assumed it was her fault, I didn’t think about it; I didn’t correct their mistake. I was high, dad, speeding; Aly was trying to save her mom; she was headed to the hospital. I pull out the chair at the end of the table and sit. I spread my hands over the surface where I first fell in love with Alyeska’s body.

Lad? Dad’s voice is far away, floating, and I can’t resurface to grab a breath of air. Only a little further, and I will let go of the breath. I must hold on a little longer because I need to make it to the end.

I needed to numb myself, needed to avoid the incident because it would have ruined everything. Taken away my dreams, taken away the opportunities we planned my whole life. Then I started taking more; my body wasn’t in pain, and it never hurt as much as my brain trying to convince myself that the police report was right. I didn’t want to be responsible. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I exhale long and slow, then refill my lungs.

Aladden. Dad doesn’t look disappointed now; he seems hurt. How could you do that to her? Did you not think of her life? The consequences you placed on her. We can only claim to be heroes if we are honest about how we became them. Dad stands and barely taps my shoulder before walking away.

Dad, I’m sorry; I’ll make things right. I’ll go to therapy, counseling, or anything to get back on track and make things right. I promise, dad. But as he walks down the hall, I start doubting there is enough glue to fill in the shattered pieces.

We’ll get you into therapy, but remember, son, there are some things you can’t make right. I thought you learned that from your mother. He doesn’t look at me as he leaves the room, and I sit with the weight of my betrayal. I have only myself to blame.

The next few hours, I contact my coach, who gave me an earful. I listen the entire time and take the verbal beating because I know it is a long time coming. Coach says I am lucky since the pain killers were prescribed, or I would be kicked off the team, kicked out of my league, and disqualified from upcoming competitions.

Then next call I make is to a sports therapist, the name Coach gave me. Luckily, she can fit me in this week, and I think I am making all the right moves, but I still feel stuck in the past. Stuck in those moments where I only protected myself and didn’t save Alyeska’s reputation.

I’ve been battling to keep a level head for so long. I realized I let myself down before I let anyone else prove my mistakes were mine. I was devasted with myself. Angry, I kept choosing to save myself and make Aly suffer.

Our short confrontation at school has left me festering. The contact I pressed next hasn’t answered a single call or text since the day she left. I’m like a sad puppy abandoned in the rain, waiting for his owner to return.

"Hey, Aly, it’s Lad. I guess your phone is dead; you left your charger here. I’ll bring it to class tomorrow. I wanted to tell you I told