A Mother Shucking Crow-Bar

By William Ardrey

Barq once again is trying to find the dream job working for himself he is now in the Gulf coast swamp area. He wants to learn about the Oyster business. It has some drawbacks and problems.

          So far Barq did not think anyone knew exactly what he was trying to do. But who was that scar-faced snooping Cajun out spying for, the Hully-Gullies, or the mean Mexican nationals?  Could the canoe man called Scar be trusted or was it better to plan homicide and a dash of mayhem for that old boy?
All of those worries and questions were answered one moonless night. It was very hard to detect the wild men moving around in the dark. Centuries of stealth had been honed to a science.  In the middle of the night, Barq opened his eyes, looking into a horrid face. It was more rugged than his own. The number one Hully was breathing on him, just before the light went out for Barq Simpson. He was fading very fast but had time to wonder; why did that ugly old fool hit me?
The raiders were busy looting Barq's swamp compound. They did not notice another figure lurking around, stringing wires and sneaking up on them. And on the other side of the compound, the very faint odor of perfume was wafting on the air. Barq had several intended visitors that night but the old Hully heads got there first. They found the dead tailless gator skeleton riding on a log, Old tailless had drifted over by the Barq Simpson Compound and the wild men took it as a sign. They figured the Short Tail Gator spirit was visiting the thing that caused it to be a skeleton. Actually, it was here only because of the water current, not the spirit current. 
Barq had made a favorable impression on the Hully-gullies 'but not all of the Gullys liked Barq. And they took log ridding Gator skeleton as an excuse to do what they did well, Yep they were just being their selves,. as usual Pirates.

• Language: English
• Publisher: William Ardrey
• Release date: Mar 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223213246

William Ardrey

William Ardrey is a dashing figure, 6 feet tall. His dark brown hair is complemented by a well-styled mustache. Women love his handsome looks, infectious smile, and wit. He has a vibrant, magnetic personality that inspires loyalty and devotion from men and women alike.  He has a strong sense of Justice and will readily fight for a just cause. He loves to smile and live life with the tenacity of a beautiful bulldog. With a strong natural affinity for making friends, he is very popular wherever he goes. And when he reluctantly leaves an area most people sigh and softly breathe the words, “God I hope he comes back soon”. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Book preview

Chapter 1  Too Much

In the late Nineteen forties Barq Simpson came into the world. There were very few Hospitals in that rural area. So, the old country doctor, Dr. Jesse Crane, was called out to help. On the way to attend the birth, Doc Crane had been chased by a bunch of mean Rottweilers and was still very nervous. When he saw the child slipping out of the pouch, the baby’s head scared him so much that he slapped the Mother instead of the Baby’s butt. He screamed at her. 

Woman don’t ever have another baby like that again,

Nature gave a welcome to the world gift to Barq Simpson. He was given an oblong-shaped head.

Later in life because of the huge head some people thought Barq was deranged and might have vile ideas.  He most always appears to be smiling, partly because of that odd birth. Also, he had a tragic childhood accident, involving a solar powered Bicycle with a Four-barrel carburetor. It had dual exhaust and a six-speed tranny. That horrid machine was much too powerful. After the too powerful bicycle accident, there was a make-beauty operation. As a result, his entire top lip had to be removed. But his prominent protruding teeth are glowing white.

He loves learning and is always a good student. He has always dreamed of growing up to be a Saxophone playing Cowboy. And someday hopes to sing in the church choir, but the sounds he makes prevents that dream. He often wondered why a person without a top lip, was not allowed to buy and own Real Estate in this country. Barq does not know that smiling people are not trusted. But his inner contentment would show thru even if he did have a lip.

He was now driving along the old road in the Gulf Coast swampland area. It was mid spring time and the air was as hot and sticky as a steam closet. He suddenly had thoughts about his marvelous pet collection. Slowing the old Pickup, he decided there was a need to look at his beloved Scorpion friends. He had brought along a few dozen of the Stingers from out west where he had been living.  After pulling over he set the park brake.  Standing beside the truck, he reached in the glove box for the vial. The lid had come off and they were crawling loose. Some were growling and flipping their tail like a mad Alley Cat. Barq managed to get one by the tail. His hold was not that good, the thing was a millimeter from the poison injecting phase of its anger. Slinging the creature away from him, saved him from a horrible fate. The mean Scorpion was now really hot headed and looking for a fight. The crawler landed upon the tongue of a huge Gator, that had been sneaking up on the shaky leg of the pickup driver. The most unusual thing happened, the Arizona scorpion sting  paralyzed the Gators head. The poor reptile could not move or close its mouth. It just sank into the shallow water and drowned. Something was really weird about this old Gator, it did not have a tail. Barq thought aloud, What kind of damn Gator is this thing.  Then he guessed, someone must have turned the Old Crock into a Watchdog, and it had escaped to avoid any more modification. Then he wondered if the short tail Gator might have been part of a Reptile Disfunction study

He had not intended to kill the Gator but knew, even as an accident, the law said no Gator killing out of season. Could Gator killing be a thing so terrible he might be put in prison?

. He