Auditionarium
By Pete Malicki
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About this ebook
Auditionarium is a book of completely new and original audition monologues. They are mostly suitable for everyone, no matter your age, gender or cultural background, with a mix of comedy, drama and subject matter.
Pete Malicki
Pete is the world’s leading monologue expert. His pieces have been performed well over 1,000 times internationally, including at Edinburgh Fringe and on the West End, and won more than 35 major awards. He is the founder of both The Monologue Project and global acting showcase World Monologue Games. He lives in Sydney Australia where he runs Undo Redo Entertainment and works as a career development coach for artists.
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Book preview
Auditionarium - Pete Malicki
Dream Holiday
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Terry doesn’t believe me when I say this is it. Reckons I’m joking. Thought we’ve pulled over for an afternoon sandwich. But this is it. There’s nothing off the main highway but a single road, Bob’s hardware store, Bob’s corner store and the fish and chips place. The two Bobs hate each other on account of Bob Parker moving in and confusing everyone by calling his corner store Bob’s
. It’s not even on a corner.
Terry’s like, "A whole week? What the hell are we going to do here for a whole week?"
This town might have nothing more than a couple of shops and eleven little houses – it might be the small town that small towns laugh at – but it’s part of who I am. Spending five nights here is nothing; people live here all year round. I want to experience the tranquillity of nothingness. The Bobs earnestly trying to avoid each other in a single street. The country air. The perpetual dryness. The crippling listlessness of being isolated from the world.
Terry sees the tears in my eyes. It’s 20 years since she want missing. I never had a body to bury. Ashes to scatter. I don’t get to say goodbye like you did. But I can live in her shoes for a week, see what life was like for her growing up.
Terry squeezes my thigh, and I turn down the only street and pull into mum’s old driveway.
For The Exercise
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You wanna know the worst thing about my job? As much as you might think it’s the old guys and the fat guys and the gross guys lying on top of you, sweating on you, drooling on you, coming on your face or tits, it’s the guys who tell you to quit. Why do you do this?
You could do something else.
"I’ll help you get out. I’ve got