Move Forward: How to empower yourself to become the happy and fulfilled person you’re meant to be

By John R. Christensen

Move Forward is a guide for those feeling uncertain about their future. The constant demands of the world can leave us feeling drained and disconnected from our true selves. This book offers a new approach to finding hope and purpose, helping readers rediscover their strengths, passions, and dreams. Through practical strategies and a unique STAR pathway, Move Forward empowers readers to take control of their lives and create a fulfilling future.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9781638298533

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Bengal Cat

Some of the things you need to make you happy and fulfilled won’t come your way without you taking the first step. Finding your purpose is not about sitting on the sidelines, but pursuing the things that interest you. Your commitment cannot be fragile in its intention.

_______

Adam poured the rest of his morning coffee down the sink. The environmental scientist and hydrologist loosened his blue and gray stripped tie and re-organized his research papers for the morning project report meeting at the engineering firm. His attractive strong face with its deep-set eyes scanned the cover pages. He rubbed his salt and pepper goatee as his partner Kimberly, a museum conservator, emerged from their home office exhaling a weighty sigh. Her bright blue eyes sparkled from behind a wild tangle of curly black hair. A colored silk scarf with a coral reef print, bought for style and not for warmth, circled her neck. She swiped crumbs from her designer jeans and white blouse. Over the previous few weeks, the tension in their formerly optimistic household had escalated to the point where it showed in the young couples faces.

Adam and Kimberly were a vibrant couple, deciding to forego marriage for the time being. The past few years of diving into their professional careers and indulging in home renovations, complemented by exotic vacations, occupied their time and a healthy portion of their incomes. Life is to be lived, after all. The restriction of kids was too confining a thought at the moment. Someday, maybe. The remaining mosaic tiles were laid on the bathroom floor as the contractor completed the last of the projects. But the finality of it all left a numbness that edged into the two of them. The completion of their protracted renovations left them feeling drained, cut-off, and abandoned from a purpose that had consumed them. They were no longer needed in fulfilling ways.

What’s up with you today, honey? Adam grinned with admiration at his partner.

I’ll be spending the day sitting in a room with a bunch of other people listening to speakers talking about managing conflict and leadership strategy, things I’ve heard before. Same stuff different package, Kimberly responded impudently, doing an eye roll.

That’s not like you, Adam replied, planting a kiss on the cheek of the museum conservator.

Could be my lack of sleep, Kimberly shrugged. I’ve noticed lately that you’ve been a bit irritable yourself. You seem to be constantly on edge. Something seems to be bugging you with all your tossing and turning throughout the night.

Yeah, sorry. There’s something I need to discuss with you, but with all the things on our plate, I wanted to wait until the offer was real and not a false hope before I brought it up.

I knew something was weighing you down. What ‘offer’ are you talking about? Tell me? Kimberly directed.

The university has sought me out and offered me a faculty position in their advanced natural history research department.

Adam, that’s wonderful, so what’s there to think about?

The struggle I’m having is that I love my team and the working environment at the engineering firm. You know me, it’s a nice balance between the field work and my data analysis. I like the variety of interesting projects with different consulting firms and civil engineers. I can be sent anywhere. I’m worried that I would be too confined with the university and they might narrow my specialty as an environmental chemist. Of course, with less travelling, I would get to see you and Cleo more, he offered, checking the time and reacting to the cat rubbing against his leg.

Aw, that’s nice to hear, honey, Kimberly responded, giving him a hug. There’s light at the end of the tunnel. Our upcoming road trip will be good for both of us to think things through. Just keep that in mind.

Adam sighed approvingly.

You have a great day at the museum, he said. See you later.

As conservator of a Connecticut museum, Kimberly had signed up for a leadership conference leading as a credit to her self-development. Her passion for history and art grew from the wonderment of a young child. Clawing through the dirt beneath the rotting floor of an old log cabin on her parents’ heritage property, she had unearthed an assortment of bone fragments and colored glass relics. She also unearthed a curiosity into the science behind the conservation of art and artifacts. The discipline of a conservator determines how objects react and degrade over time in different environments. The goal is to conserve the physical state of the objects to keep them alive and well. Recently, she joined a team working on a collection of creepy 19 century phrenological heads and death masks involved in the science of deciphering character by reading the lumps and bumps on their heads.

Rising questions, however, were tugging her into the conservation of herself and partner Adam. Outside the doors of Adam’s office and Kimberly’s museum was the constant pressure to preserve and feed their lifestyle. This was a growing, heavy weight on the couple. They wanted the stability of being connected to a productive economy, but also the conviction of uncovering a greater meaning and purpose in life. The education that had determined their destinies now set out to dismantle their perspectives. Their inner struggle became a topic of discussion with neighbors Emily and George at their Friday night barbeque.

You know, guys, stated Kimberly, "I’ve been having these thoughts lately about, is this all there is to our life – what changes could we make that would enhance and provide greater happiness and fulfillment in our life?" The comment slipped from her lips as they enjoyed a glass of mango lemonade on their new deck with close friends Emily and George. The surging wave of this question engulfed her.

Emily rested her elbows on the patio table staring at Kimberly. That’s a strange question coming from you, Kimberly; we’ve always held you and Adam as an example of a happy, productive couple with a sweet life. Does Adam feel the same way? inquired Emily, flashing a look at him.

He nodded, giving Kimberly a quick glance.

Kimberly spoke up. Over the last little while, we’ve felt, she stumbled, motioning at Adam for affirmation, this… this, I’m not sure how to describe it, this heaviness around us. I guess we began to notice it when the house renovations were done. We realized all the hassles of making up our minds are over. Should our kitchen cabinets be exposed or hidden? Should we go with a freestanding claw-foot, cast iron bath or have a built-in? Should we suspend the ceiling in the living room? Blah, blah, blah. Suddenly, all that weight that comes with organizing our physical life has just… disappeared. I know this may sound crazy, but life suddenly became, oh I don’t know… aimless is probably the best way I can describe it. There was this yearning inside me. Do you know what I mean? George gave a nod while adding an ice cube to his glass. Kimberly continued, There was nothing to fill that space that needed us. Besides, I’m really exhausted. This fatigue is weakening and drew us into confronting ourselves. It had us looking at the other aspects of our life which led to the question, ‘Is this all we’re meant to experience?’

Adam interjected. It’s a strange feeling that opened up the floodgates to other questions, like what more to our life is out there waiting to be lived? Are we choosing career success over personal fulfillment and joy? We’re honestly not sure of the direction of Kimberly’s career with all the recent budget cuts at the museum. This offer from the university I have has me confronting myself and the type of working environment that appeals to me. It may sound strange considering my background, but the world of academia may be too academic. Adam rotated his head as if unknotting a tightened muscle in his neck. Actually, let me say this, it’s not about chasing after more success, it’s more about fulfillment and joy in our personal life. He adjusted his baseball cap in an apologetic manner.

Kimberly gently rested her palm on Adam’s arm. Yes, the more we talk about it, the more we felt this nagging feeling of ‘been there, done that.’ Our only choice is to change. Our obsession with achieving, over being satisfied and personally fulfilled left us wondering, are we losing ourselves in the process? The compound effect of it all is driving us to explore what else is out there and why do I feel so empty.

Emily turned to her partner, George, then back to her friend Kimberly. So, what’s the big deal then? grilled Emily. My god, tell me you’re not selling your house? Are you saying you’re giving up your careers? Is that what the red Jeep Wrangler Sahara in the driveway is all about?

Kimberly moved the flower vase positioned between them. She leaned forward to face Emily, her tone serious. Yes, the 4x4 plays into it. But no, we’re not quitting our jobs or selling out, you can relax, we’ll still be neighbors. We’re just taking some time off. The Jeep is a symbol of us going literally off road with our thinking. Emily and George both shot up their eyebrows. Kimberly continued, We’ve decided to redefine our life, not by the box we’re put in because of our work, but by identifying if there’s more to us that we don’t see – to explore what other designs in life that hold promise for us.

Good luck with that, snorted the skeptical George, taking a swig out of his drink and wiping away the drips edging down the side of the glass with his thumb. "But hey, I have this image of you two, like Tom and Ma Joad in Grapes of Wrath, loading up their ‘26 Hudson with their worldly possessions in a quest to change their oppressive life. Only your quest is more about the possession of your spirit in a more trusty ride, postulated George. But come on, isn’t it enough what you have and where you are now? I mean, look at this place…" His eyes wandered over the chic and expensive outdoor ’room’ that his friends had contracted.

George, it’s not about being unhappy, responded Adam. It’s more about taking the risk to know more of who we are at the level of our genuine selves. For example, are we the person we need to be, or the person we want to be? We need to observe things more clearly which I believe takes a somewhat life-altering experience or a fresh geographic location. Adam sat back in his chair looking off to the side, his tone philosophical. When we think about it, our present lifestyle has a great deal of power and control over our actions. Stepping away from it all to just be ourselves will hopefully uncover some missing pieces that are out of sync with who we are intended to be. I don’t think it’s a choice, but a consequence of wanting to know.

But aren’t you who you are already? George protested. You could be searching for something that’s already found, you just don’t think it’s enough?

Kimberly turned to George. That could very well be, but the bigger question is, what’s ‘enough’? How many more ‘me’s’ are in here that would complete me? Kimberly explained, patting her heart. This frustration, may I say emptiness, we’re feeling on occasion may be life telling us to go in another direction. As it happens, all this inner commotion coincided with attending a business conference the other week… let me explain, she continued. "So, at this conference there was a presenter who stated, ‘What’s invisible to the eye, your heart can see. The best souvenir you can take from life is a broader perspective.’ That really resonated with me. Somewhere in my heart is who I want to be. Finding my purpose requires experimenting with my life to see what’s possible. I guess that’s what we’re all about. That’s it!" Kimberly said, slapping her hand on the table. George sunk back into his deck chair, removing his sunglasses and stroking his thick brown beard. Emily leaned forward, studying Kimberly.

Wow, responded Emily. Who would have thought? I do admire you though.

Kimberly proceeded to tell them how enlightened she was by the keynote speaker who talked about the importance of ‘keeping on top of yourself’ by recording a daily journal of feelings and experiences.

One thing the motivational speaker said was ‘your pen is smarter than you are.’ I think it was a thought credited to Einstein.

In today’s terms, your computer is smarter than you are, reacted George.

Artificial Intelligence has no empathy for me, protested Kimberly. Anyway, the presenter at the conference related the importance of reflecting. She said reflections provide bits of wisdom just ahead of your experience. The presenter gave me a lot of information to digest. Here, let me check my notes from the conference. Kimberly flipped through the pages of her small binder. Okay, here it is. She started reading her scribbles:

"The purpose of our life is driven by the stories we tell ourselves. What is the story you tell