Vogon Poetry Flower V: Vogon Poetry, #5

By Ian Eress

Vogon Poetry Flower V is an explosively hilarious and irreverent collection of poems that takes you on a wild ride through the universe of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In this stunning anthology, you'll find a range of Vogon poetry that will make you laugh, cringe, and possibly even weep in despair.

 

From the opening poem "The Invincible Hero" to the epic "Power" - each of these poems is guaranteed to leave you gasping for air with laughter. The Vogons, known for their poetry as the third worst in the universe, have outdone themselves with this latest offering.

 

As you flip through the pages, you'll be treated to a glorious array of Vogon imagery, with poems that feature everything from vile creatures and grotesque landscapes to the most mundane aspects of daily life. Some poems are short and sweet, while others are long and winding, but all are infused with the unique Vogon style that fans have come to know and love.

 

So join us on this journey to the outer reaches of the galaxy and discover the true beauty of Vogon poetry. Whether you're a longtime fan of the Hitchhiker's Guide series or a newcomer to the absurd and hilarious world of Vogons, Vogon Poetry Flower V is a must-read for anyone who loves good poetry and a good laugh.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Handmade Books
• Release date: Mar 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798201679958

Ian Eress

Born in the seventies. Average height. Black hair. Sometimes shaves. Black eyes. Nearsighted. Urban. MSc. vim > Emacs. Mac.

Book preview

1. The Invincible Hero

Designers weave their magic spells.

Heroes, born of imagination,

in the end, it's my might,

That will win the victorious fight.

The invincible hero, boundless might

No feat too towering to conquer in the fight

Fate's dark tides stemmed,

souls were redeemed to light

Sergeant, is the vision vain, a fever flight?

* This poem is inspired by the idea of an invincible hero designed, developed, and marketed to save the day in the face of a universal catastrophe.

2. Creepy Crawly Conundrum

Insects, snails, worms,

Spiders, creepy crawly things,

Tiny, weak, and trim.

Are they as feeble

As puppets, clowns, and jesters?

Ha! I’m the bully.

* A playful exploration of the creatures we fear and loathe, as the universe hurtles towards its inevitable end.

3. Hatless Chipmunk's Shame

The hat’s missing,

the chipmunk cries with shame,

without wounding a voice.

* The poem explores the feelings of shame and inadequacy that arise from the absence of something that is considered important or necessary, and the ways in which this absence can be perceived as a failure or a flaw.

4. Stumbling through Diesel Alley

Where is this darn alley,

heavily burdened for a man like me?"

My voice boomed with frustration.

Full of anger, stumbling through the darkness,

towards the future with difficulty ahead.

The weary wanderer, lost in the night,

Gropes toward the dawn with fading sight.

Each stumbling step a heavy plight:

Where lies the path ahead so dark?

Lost in the dark, I roam,

Searching for my path back home.

Burdened, weary feet,

Frustration boiling, anger sweet.

Stumbling through the shadows deep,

Toward the future, I trudge on,

Hoping for the light of dawn.

* The poem explores the frustration of a character who is struggling to move forward.

5. Public Anxiety

Every gaze from the public eye

knows exactly what we do in private.

For whom do we fight this war,

when we are our own worst enemies?

Our blood thirsts,

to be better and stronger,

but our pride is sucked dry,

by the vampire-like society that rules us.

* The poem delves into the anxiety and pressure we feel as individuals when we are constantly being watched and judged by the public eye.

6. Reluctant Ears

"Would you listen to my opinion,

about the rarely seen fish?"

"I don't listen, I already told you,

I rarely use my ears."

If only you would hear,

I could reveal the secret to you,

but instead, I'll move on.

* The poem explores the reluctance of a rebellious