Emotional Intelligence: How to Resolve Conflict, Find Purpose, and Create Wealth God's Way!

By Denn Eagle

"Seventy-one percent of employers say they value emotional intelligence over IQ." -Jennifer Grasz, Writer for Career Builder

Is This Book for You?

Are you an entrepreneur, or do you have an entrepreneurial spirit? Are you internally motivated, a self-starter, and a problem-solver with a bit of wit and grit? Do you

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Apr 5, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887384566

Denn Eagle

Denn Eagle and his wife, Denise, make their home in Rock Hill, South Carolina. They have seven children and agrowing number of grandchildren. They enjoy time with family, reading, Christian music, and family vacations.Denn's career includes church planting, marketplace ministry, and writing, which covers a span of fifty-threeyears.

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

how to resolve conflict, find purpose, and create wealth God’s Way

Denn Eagle

Trilogy Christian Publishers

Tustin, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Emotional Intelligence: How to Resolve Conflict, Find Purpose, and Create Wealth God’s Way

Copyright © 2023 by Denn Eagle

All Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Public domain.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 979-8-88738-455-9

E-ISBN: 979-8-88738-456-6 (ebook)

Endorsements

Emotional Intelligence is a must-have manual for all influencers to maximize organizational effectiveness and for individuals to excel in all matters of life.

After a thirty-year HR career, hiring corporate leaders, and training hundreds of sales professionals in Fortune 500 companies, I find this book a must-have resource for a quick reference or in-depth study for corporate leaders, entrepreneurs, and individuals.

I have known the author personally and professionally for over fifteen years. I have admired his effectiveness as a business and spiritual leader. Furthermore, I respect him as a personal friend, confidant, and counselor.

—Larry Raad,

Author of Transformational Prosperity

and The Power To Prosper

I loved it!

Once I started, I could not put it down. Eagle’s book is most applicable to our times. You will be blessed by reading it too.

—Noel Fuller, DMD

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1. A Game-Changer

Interpersonal Dynamics

Emotional Injury

The Beatitudes

Claiming the Promises

Comparing Competencies

Chapter 2. Humility

A Kingdom Worldview

Kingdom Authority

Mastering Humility

Chapter 3. Patience

Patience in Suffering

Suffering Braces You for Avoiding Physical Harm

Suffering Prepares You for Forgiveness and Compassion

Suffering Equips You for Comforting Others

Suffering Helps to Shape Your Character

Suffering Opens the Door to Glorify God

Suffering May Lead to Salvation and Healing

Suffering Leads to Hope and Peace

Suffering Identifies with Christ’s Suffering

Suffering Readies You for Christ’s Ministry

Suffering Strengthens You for Leadership

Mastering Patience

Chapter 4. Meekness

The Game Stands Tall

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth

Self-Empowerment versus Grace

Bitterness versus Forgiveness

Ownership versus Lordship

Greed versus Gratitude

Guilt versus Blameless

Mastering Meekness

Chapter 5. Integrity

Wisdom of Our Fathers

Righteousness Required

First, Legal Righteousness

Second, Imputed Righteousness

Third, Personal Righteousness

Character Disciplines

Emotional Soundness

A Clear Conscience

A Spiritual Appetite

Mastering Integrity

Chapter 6. Compassion

Great Commandment

First, Do I Love God Above Myself?

Do I Love My Neighbor as Myself?

Do I Genuinely Love Myself?

The Challenge of Compassion

Chapter 7. Motivation

Motivating Desire

Idenifying Your Passion

Discovering Your Why

The Golden Circle

Motivational DNA

Chapter 8. Leadership

Leadership Essentials

Kingdom Leaders Are Humble

Kingdom Leaders Have Patience

Kingdom Leaders Are Meek

Kingdom Leaders Have Integrity

Kingdom Leaders Are Compassionate

Kingdom Leaders Are Motivated

Kingdom Leaders Are Peacemakers

Calling Out Entrepreneurs

Chapter 9. Endurance

Patience

Testing

Tolerance

Adversaries

Persecution

Opportunity

A Crown of Righteousness

Chapter 10. Final Thought

Introduction

When I first heard that emotional intelligence (EI) could matter more than IQ, I was mesmerized by the name and concept. After months of research, I arrived at three questions:

What is a simple working definition of emotional intelligence?

How does EI trump mental intelligence most of the time?

How does EI embody so many behavioral traits?

My befuddlement was that every talent, skill, discipline, and principle known to mankind appears bundled under a single umbrella concept—emotional intelligence. That didn’t register with me! I asked myself, How could that be? I argued, It just doesn’t make sense. Eventually, however, I unearthed an excellent little book titled Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Ph.D., and Jean Greaves, Ph.D.¹

In their excellent work, the authors used the picture of a tree for visual support. When I saw that picture, I recalled Psalm 1:3 says, He shall be like a tree planted [roots implied] by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

Jeremiah used a similar analogy, Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots [the keyword] by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit (Jeremiah 17:7–8).

For thousands of years, Jews and Christians alike have understood how a healthy tree represents a righteous person’s walk with God. After the structure (trunk, limbs, and branches), a tree has three primary and distinct components: roots, leaves, and fruit (with seed). So the moment I noticed that picture from Bradberry and Greaves’ book on EI, a fresh insight into EI flashed across my mind. The tree had leaves but not a single fruit, nor were the roots visible.

Immediately, I knew how various facets of behavior would converge when using the analogy of a tree. Moreover, as a tree’s roots go unnoticed by the naked eye, the eight root competencies of emotional intelligence are hidden just under the surface of biblical insight. Therefore, this book highlights the eight biblical competencies foundational to EI—the roots.

As proficiency with the multiplication table is essential in mathematics, healthy competencies are critical in developing emotional intelligence. Proverbs 18:24 says, A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. Not only will EI competencies help you create friends for life, but you will also likely find or confirm your purpose in life. Once engrafted into your heart, the eight competencies and nine promises of blessed will also shed light on a path to favor, influence, opportunity, and abundance.

The psalmist describes a man as blessed when his life is analogous to a healthy fruit tree. In select scriptures, the Greek defines blessed as prosperous and happy, in that order. A blessed man is mentally and emotionally congruent in EI disciplines, honing these skills to precision. Moreover, he will be spiritually, financially, and materially successful. In other words, an honest and diligent person is prosperous to the degree his life reflects the three essential components of a viable fruit tree: roots, fruit, and leaves.

Perhaps you’re like me, desiring a more challenging, enjoyable, and rewarding way of life. If so, mastering emotional intelligence may be for you. EI will benefit anyone who pursues high achievement and personal satisfaction in life. This could include someone ranging from a high schooler to an educator, the terminally ill to a doctor, the disabled to an athlete, and a janitor to the company president.

A study on this subject will reveal universal and timeless root competencies that will change you and the world around you. So, join me on this journey to discovering new and lasting relationships, clarity of purpose, and how to fund your divine assignment.

Author’s note:

Proceeds from this book will go to non-profit organizations to help the socially distressed.

Unless otherwise noted, the Scripture passages used are direct quotes from or paraphrases of the King James Bible.

Chapter 1

A Game-Changer

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good, and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil; for out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaketh (Luke 6:45).

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).

For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness… (Romans 10:10).

Scientific research sheds light on a surprising variable explaining why some individuals have higher achievement levels than others with the same mental IQ, education, skill, and experience. Consequently, Seventy-one percent of employers say they value emotional intelligence over IQ, says Jennifer Grasz, writer for CareerBuilder.²

The term emotional intelligence (EI) went public when psychologist Daniel Goleman published Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ in 1995. Goleman’s book immediately became a New York Times bestseller. The business community embraced EI as vital to success across the board. Since publishing his book, Goleman has spoken around the globe, claiming that effective leaders have a high EI. He believes, In a very real sense, we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.³ Goldman’s research reveals, As much as 80% of adult success comes from EQ.⁴

Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, co-authors of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, write,

EQ is so critical to success that it accounts for 58 percent of performance in all types of jobs. It’s the single biggest predictor of performance in the workplace and the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.

Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we have found that 90 percent of high performers are also high in EQ. On the flip side, just 20 percent of low performers are high in EQ. You can be a high performer without EQ, but the chances are slim. People who develop their EQ tend to be successful on the job because the two go hand in hand.⁵

The Harvard Business Review (HBR) released an article in 1997 by psychologist Daniel Goleman that ranks as their most requested article. The response to this article prompted HBR to re-examine this subject again in 2003. Its conclusion?

In hard times, the soft stuff often goes away. But emotional intelligence, as it turns out, isn’t so soft. If emotional obliviousness jeopardizes your ability to perform, fend off aggressors, or become passionate in a crisis, no amount of attention to the bottom line will protect your career. Emotional intelligence isn’t a luxury you can dispense with in tough times. It’s a basic tool that, deployed with finesse, is the key to professional success.⁶

Emotional intelligence has come to be recognized as critical to human achievement. Consequently, there is growing interest in human emotions and how they affect attitude and behavior. Simply put, a person becomes emotionally intelligent as moral and rational thoughts correspond to a predetermined set of mental values and restraints that direct his decisions and conduct. Conversely, when the heart and mind send conflicting messages to the will, decisions and behaviors become unpredictable and unreliable. The conclusion is that positive character qualities, values, and disciplines will unite the heart and mind to function for good.

God has walked me personally and often painfully through most of what I share in the following pages. This book is a record of why and how Christ totally and radically changed my life. By mentally and emotionally engrafting eight specific life skills, you’ll compress the learning curve and fast-track your way to remarkable achievement, promotion, and lasting success.

Interpersonal Dynamics

I visited a Charlotte, North Carolina, client in his home about twenty-one years ago. We had only started a conversation when I asked, What kind of work do you do that provides this amazing home and comfortable lifestyle for your family? He explained that he consulted with Fortune 500 companies regarding conflict management, which involves interpersonal dynamics affecting workplace culture and productivity. He added that ignoring these qualities will lead to disputes between workers, disgruntled staff, production downtime, and unnecessary employee turnover.

I asked, What, in your opinion, is the most significant relationship issue in Fortune 500 companies? However, to my surprise, he hesitated and could not single out the most significant problem he faced daily. He appeared well-informed and had a four-year degree in his field of expertise, but he still didn’t have it nailed down. Here is how our conversation progressed from there:

I said, As I see it, the biggest conflict is between various levels of authority. For example, leadership has trouble with subordinates or employees failing to respect or follow management.

The client said, Yeah, that’s a big problem. That very well could be the biggest problem I see in management teams. It’s everywhere I go. Everyone wants to be the boss nowadays. You know, it’s the old saying that there are too many chiefs and not enough Indians. I agreed.

Then I asked, In light of productivity loss, what’s another area of conflict responsible for hindering better profits?

He thought a minute and said, Well, it usually isn’t a single issue or just one person who shares in the problem. So, by the time I’m called, it’s a ‘he said, she said’ thing, and I have to determine the source and extent of the conflict.

I responded, I have a small business that can’t compare to a Fortune 500 company. However, my experience suggests that human suffering and loss create work problems. I think suffering from sickness, disease, sorrow from divorce, or losing a loved one would be high on the list. These issues are often behind absenteeism, tardiness, and emotional distress. I think it’s difficult for people to work when life forces them into these situations, right?

My client nodded in agreement and said, Yeah, people come to work with their pain, if they come to work at all. They may need support from co-workers or management leaders at work but often fail to get it. There are times when no one seems to care when a co-worker is suffering, which often creates isolation or loneliness. Instead of being indifferent and unsympathetic to a co-worker, a little understanding or compassion could transform their workplace culture.

As we talked, I realized that he could see the forest but was overlooking the trees; he could see the big picture but was missing the details. So, I asked, "What do you think would be another significant area