DEBt PAID...: Keep the Change

By Chris Davies

Joy is to faith what breath is to life. Without either, both are sure to die.

This is the true story of a man who put the "PRO" in prodigal son for much of his life. He found himself addicted to drugs, heading to federal prison, and on his knees before the Lord in a cold, dark jail cell. This book was written to draw the lost and

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Apr 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887386362

Chris Davies

Chris Davies has worked all his life as a teacher, first in comprehensive schools and then at Oxford University. He has written books about literacy, advertising and the impact of the internet on young people. He divides his time now between Oxford and Manchester.

Book preview

Author’s Notes

I had briefly considered adding some of the profanity that was used around me while I was in prison as it testified to the darkness of that world at times, and I wanted you to feel that place and certain situations in your mind. It was a fleeting thought, however, as this book is about overcoming the darkness and living according to the Word of God. I have changed certain words into words like freaking, punk, etc., and will use **** occasionally.

The only reason I mention this is that I truly want you to be connected to the words I write.

Dedication

In memory of my mother, Cyndi Davies. I love you, Mom, and I can still see your smile and hear your laughter. The words that you spoke over me while I was in prison have come to pass. I long for the day when we are together again and spend eternity in the presence of the Lord.

Forward

To know Jesus and to make Jesus known is the motto of Trinity Lutheran Church and School, where I first met Chris Davies. We were classmates through grade school and middle school, but our lives took very different paths after that. God has blessed my life tremendously by providing me with a loving and stable family and home, good health, and access to educational opportunities that have led to a fulfilling career in higher education. As you will read in this book, Chris’s journey has been full of hardship, missteps, and extreme challenges, but ultimately the awesome love of Christ and work of the Holy Spirit.

In this book, Debt Paid…Keep the Change! Chris shares a large portion of his life with us in an honest and engaging way. He provides one of the best examples of God’s redeeming love for all of us as he describes the Holy Spirit at work in his life. No matter where you are in life, the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, this book will remind you that there is no limit to the love God has for us, His children. While Chris paid his debt to society, I believe this title more accurately reflects the debt that Jesus paid for us. No matter where we are or what we have done, Jesus’ blood has cleansed us, and the Holy Spirit will guide us if we just turn to Him.

I am grateful to Chris Davies for taking the time to relive the events of his life as he put them down for all of us to learn from. Chris tells his story with humor and humility, and you will find yourself cheering him on with each page!

Juliane Poock Wallace, Ph.D., FACSM

Preface

This book is a true story of redemption, renewal, and the power of God’s love in one man’s life. I was told by a teacher at a young age that I should become a writer, and I’ve always carried that in my heart. I felt like writing was part of my calling, but honestly, in forty years, I’ve never been able to come up with a story or even subject matter that I considered worthy of a book. Recently, however, the Holy Spirit lovingly slapped me in the back of the head and put something on my heart. He showed me that the life that I’ve lived and the changes brought about by Him were, in essence, research for the very book that eluded me all these years!

I often tell people that I had put the PRO in Prodigal Son for a long period in my life. Drug addiction, alcoholism, criminal behavior, sexual immorality, rampant sin were the norm for many years. If you are reading these words, there is a reason and purpose in it. My hope and prayer is that this book inspires some, gives hope to others, and leaves ALL with JOY in their heart and praise on their lips!

To the people who are on the fence regarding their faith in Jesus, I hope this stirs something in your soul. For the people who are or have struggled with addiction, depression, poor life choices, and mountains of sin, I truly love you and have more compassion for you than I can even put into words. It is time to break those chains and cast those mountains into the sea! There is a prayer that God ALWAYS says yes to: If we ask and truly want to draw near to Him, He will always meet us where we are!

To my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus, I hope my words enhance your walk with the Lord. There is no standing still in our walk with Jesus; that is why it is called a walk. We are either moving forward or we are moving backward. One of my favorite quotes is from Mother Teresa, I am like a pencil in God’s hand. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do with it. That is both literally and figuratively the case here and in my life in general.

ALL proceeds from this book will help keep Debt Paid Ministry running and go back to the community. In the spirit of Bob Goff, my personal cell phone number can be found at the end of this book. God willing, this number will never change. If you need an ear, want to share a testimony, or just need someone to speak Life with, I encourage you to reach out.

I never make promises or give my word unless I know with relative certainty that I can keep it, but I promise you that God has plans for you. He has plans to give you an abundant life if you simply let Him into your heart!

AGAPE

Dedication

David Veatch, Pops, you have always been the steady in my life and been a father to me. Your always being there for me made a lot of things possible in my life, including this book. I love you.

Juliane Poock Wallace, the timing of our reunion was truly an act of God in the working of the Holy Spirit. Your value to me and to this book is immeasurable. I am truly honored to call you a friend and my sister in Christ.

My two brothers, Zach and Joey Davies. I was an only child until I was twenty-one years old, and now I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I pray for you every day and hope that you feel the hand of God in your lives and walk with the Lord. I love you both.

Candy Hartman, Aunt Candy, you have always shown me unconditional love, and I love you very much.

Mike Lahammer, my lawyer, my friend, and my brother in Christ Jesus.

All of my family and friends. If we have ever shared time together, you were a part of this book. You not only have a place in my memory but live in my heart as well.

Introduction

As I began writing this book, a close friend asked me how accessible I thought the book would be for people who are on the street and/or neck-deep in their addiction. The answer is that this book is written and has something (I pray) for everyone who reads it. Honestly, the reality is that for a person who is still overwhelmed in their addiction, it is all-consuming. It is very likely that they would only read this if they were in jail or in treatment. That being said, ALL things are possible for God!

The Lord has blessed me with an almost freakishly good memory, although there have been times that this has felt more like a curse. I have spent a lifetime collecting knowledge from God’s Word, His kingdom on earth, and of the fallen world in which we live. However, there is a difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is filling your head with information, and wisdom is applying that information to your life. Knowledge is like reading the directions to build a bicycle, and wisdom is applying that knowledge and assembling the bike. When I truly began to EARNESTLY seek God’s wisdom and CONTINUALLY knock on the door, the Lord was quick to answer my prayers, and the Holy Spirit began to impart the wisdom I sincerely longed for so that I may draw nearer to Christ Jesus.

When I think of the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord, it reminds me of driving up a mountain. The road to salvation, as with mountain roads, is very narrow and winding. As you gradually make your way up, there are outlooks along the way. When you stop at the first one, the beauty almost takes your breath away. You cannot imagine anything more beautiful…until you see the next outlook! So it goes, all the way up the mountain, the majestic beauty keeps multiplying until you reach the summit. The big difference with God, however, is that while we are on Earth, there is no apex, and we will never even glimpse the summit!

I have tried to write this in the same manner in which the loving hand of Jesus guided me through the working of the Holy Spirit. My hope is that you will notice how the narrative and even writing style and subject matter (to some degree) morph as you continue reading.

Chapter 1

There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

Luke 15:11–16 (ESV)

I was conceived in the summer of free love (although I’m sure my parents would have argued how free it was…lol) and born in 1970. I was raised in the same Lutheran church that my mother was raised in and where my grandparents were longtime members. I attended the same parochial school my mother attended, and I honestly have no memory of not having Jesus in my heart. I also have absolutely no memory of substance abuse and addiction not being in my life in one form or another from 1970 until May 17, 2017.

My father, whom I truly loved, was a severe alcoholic and, in my childhood years, was abusive to my mother. Although he had great jobs working at places such as Quaker Oats and the United States Post Office, he went through them quickly. I remember so many times that he would go to work on a payday and not come home until after the bars closed and would be completely broke. Of course, a huge fight would ensue as my mom would be furious, and my dad, being absolutely ripped, would respond by being belligerent and start smashing and breaking things around the house. As my father began working second shift, I remember never being able to sleep, even on school nights. His shift would be over at eleven, and I would watch the clock in my room. If it got past 11:30 p.m., I would be sick with worry and hold my breath until he finally got home, anticipating the scene to follow.

I believe the stress of the situation really got to my mother, and at the relatively young age of twenty-six, she began having horrific arthritis flare-ups in her ankles. They would become so bad that people would have to carry her to and from the car during these episodes. The diagnosis was rheumatoid arthritis, and the treatment was anti-inflammatories and the pain medication Darvon. For those of you not familiar with Darvon, or similar drugs, they not only ease the pain but also give you a sense of well-being and euphoria, which my mother desperately craved during this time. I can honestly say that she tried to make the marriage work. When my dad would want to go to the grocery store or run errands, she would insist that I go along, believing that he would not be out all night if I was with him. The reality was that he would simply take me to the bars that sold food and would begin drinking anyway. It was a strange feeling as I loved spending time with my dad and became an accomplished pool player at a young age (lol), but I always had a good idea of how the night would end once we got home.

My childhood did one great thing for me; it gave me a very powerful bond with Jesus through constant prayer. On reflection, it also showed me that God does not always answer prayers right away, but He ALWAYS answers them in His time and in the way He knows is best.

Chapter 2

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:34 (ESV)

At the age of eleven, my prayers were answered in part, and my parents separated and eventually divorced. Now, I know, and knew then, what God says about marriage and divorce, and there was infidelity in the marriage, but I believe that a huge factor, among many, was that although my father was brought up in a very Catholic home, he turned his back on Jesus at a young age and referred to himself as agnostic. My mom would discuss Jesus with me and often sing hymns, but we never discussed or worshipped God as a family. It was a very rare occasion that my father would attend church, and if he did, it would be just to see me in a program or singing, but even that was rare.

But Jesus called them to him, saying, Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.

Luke 18:16–17 (ESV)

Having attended a Christian school for ten years (kindergarten through 9th grade), attending church twice a week, and through personal time in the Word, I have probably read those verses hundreds of times but not until I truly wanted to dig deep in the Bible did a lot of the words, meanings, and applications become clear to me. When Jesus says in verse 17 that we need to receive the kingdom like a child to enter it, I think of certain characteristics of children. It does not matter the child; if you are standing at a street corner with a child and put your hand down, the child will instinctively reach up to grab it. The child does not doubt your ability to lead them, nor do they even ask where you are leading them; they simply trust and follow. This is such a great example for us in our walk of faith with the Lord. If we have childlike faith, we do not allow ourselves to be anxious about where the Spirit is leading us, what is going on around us, or the trials we are facing; we just reach out for Jesus’s hand and follow.

Another characteristic that comes to mind is unbridled joy. The JOY of the Lord is truly our strength and is the power to overcome. The knowledge of our salvation should truly fill our hearts with abounding joy. I often say this when comforting people who have experienced loss, but it applies here as well… Our time on Earth is not even a drop in the ocean of eternity.

When my parents finally divorced, my father moved out of the state and my mother went through her own thing for a time, moving in with one of the biggest cocaine dealers in the city we lived in. This may sound odd, but that was the first time I remember having that joy that you cannot put a leash on. I moved in with my grandparents, and that lifetime of stress and worry disappeared almost overnight. I think this is why I equate the words of Jesus in Luke 18:16–17 with trust and joy. The Lord had delivered me from all that stress and worry, and my trust in Him was cemented that day. This was also when I started waking up every day with that deep down uncontainable joy and sense of adventure in what may lie ahead. *Those of you reading this who know me personally know that I still can’t control that joy sometimes, and I realize it can be a bit overwhelming in the morning, so…sorry, not sorry! LOL!

My maternal grandparents, who I moved in with, lived two blocks from my church and school. They truly loved having me there, and I truly loved being there. They both worked for the Quaker Oats Company and would be gone before I got up for school. I enjoyed the responsibility of getting myself up, fed, and ready for school. I appreciated the structure of having dinner as a family at the same time every night and praying together and speaking life.

My paternal grandparents lived less than two miles away and had a daughter—my aunt Kim who was only two months older than me. My uncle was only six years older than my aunt, so I enjoyed spending time there as well. I went from being a nervous wreck and making myself physically ill to having this great life surrounded by family, and in a city of 130,000 people, it felt amazing to be placed in the center of what was my world at the time.

Chapter 3

A thief never breaks in to steal from an empty house.

As great as everything was going in my life for a time, I would only see my dad for a day or two a couple of times a year. My mother was now using cocaine as well as her prescribed medication and was in a place that I knew in her heart she did not want to be. When I did see her, she was out of it, and at one point, my grandmother would not allow her to come to the house at all. I did not really see it at the time, or maybe I did, but this was the gradual start of this Prodigal Son losing his way.

Both sets of grandparents, and especially my grandmothers, had an incredible amount of empathy for what I had gone through and for the current state of my relationship with my parents. This eventually translated into almost nonexistent boundaries. I was not into anything bad yet, but I was given a HUGE amount of freedom. Between the age of twelve and fourteen, I could stay wherever I wanted. I would load a duffle bag before school and walk wherever I wanted to stay that night. The only rule was that I call my maternal grandma (Lour’Nay) and let her know where I was going to be. If I wanted to hang out with my aunt (Kim), I would just call. All of my friends went to the same church and school I did, and my grandma knew them. Nobody ever checked or verified that I was where I said I would be, and I absolutely loved the freedom I had at the time, but there was something festering in me.

Spiritual warfare is not reserved for adults. I would be at a friend’s house or with my aunt Kim, and I would see them with their parents and hear them talking about their days and being involved in their children’s lives, and resentment started to grow in me.

I cannot recall the where or when of the first girl I kissed, but I can tell you with pinpoint accuracy the first time I was drunk. I was thirteen years old at my grandma’s house. It was summer, and she had made a big batch of vodka slush. My great-aunt was in town from Wisconsin and staying at the house. My grandparents did not mind if I had a glass of slush, but I would drink about half and then go in the kitchen when nobody was in there and refill it. I become giddy and yappy, and I can still recall, to this very day, the flush I felt in my face and the heat in my core. Saying a toxic love affair started that day does not even begin to do it justice. That was the first day of what would become a lifetime of self-medicating. I did not drink every day at age thirteen, but I started to manipulate people and situations until my having a little drink became commonplace. My grandparents would have friends over every Friday, and they would sit at the kitchen table for about an hour having drinks before we all went out for supper. I began to offer to bartend for them, and everyone would be like, He’s such a great, sweet kid. Then I would say things like, That wine smells sweet, or What does orange juice taste like with vodka in it? They would say, Pour yourself a little glass of wine, or Here, take a little screwdriver and try it. I truly did have a soft heart and loved to help people, but my motives for alcohol were calculated and far from normal for a thirteen-year-old.

About this same time, my mother met an amazing man, Dave, and took back control of her life. She left the drug dealer she was living with, quit using cocaine, and started college. Although she was prescribed opioids for over forty years, until the day she died, she never abused them in the sense that she never took more than what was prescribed and often not even that much. I have never seen or even heard of anyone being able to have that much self-control and not only that but exceed beyond expectation at whatever she did. She graduated and was valedictorian of her college class, and she worked her way up until she was an insurance claims adjuster for a major nationwide company. I am not even going to try to express the love and admiration that I still have for my mother because there are just no words. Even though she is gone, I continue to draw on her strength and love for me to this day.

So, you see, there was peace and joy in my life, and I was drawing nearer to the Lord, but Satan started throwing his darts at me. The resentments and self-pity grew inside until I began to start self-medicating regularly. There seems to be a common theme and question from people who have never battled addiction, and that is, Why don’t they just quit? or You have to want to quit, which implies that people struggling want to be that way. Ultimately, we make the choice to take that drink, smoke the dope, or slam the shot, but my point is that there are as many avenues as to how a person got where they are as there are addicts themselves. A LOT of times, as with myself, self-medicating starts as a teenager. You begin to develop negative coping mechanisms in response to pressure, stress, tragedy, divorce, or any type of trauma by doing things that make you feel good and numb the pain that is growing inside of you. You develop unhealthy behaviors before your body and brain are even fully developed. As the years pass, this becomes the way you equate or process anything negative in your life and, more often than not, how you celebrate the good things as well. It becomes like muscle memory and is almost ingrained in your DNA. We will delve more into this later in the book, but I wanted readers to see addiction from a different perspective and to show just how crafty and deceptive Satan can be.

Chapter 4

Rocking the Mullet!

As some of you know or remember, the mullet was THE haircut in the ’80s (thanks, Billy Ray!). In describing the mullet, the slogan was: Business in the front, party in the back. Not only did I have the haircut, which looked eerily similar to Darth Vader’s helmet, but the slogan also described my life to a tee.

At a glance, everything looked and seemed like it was on the up and up. My mother got a two-bedroom apartment and wanted me to live with her again. I had been confirmed in my church and just graduated from ninth grade at my Lutheran school. I moved in with her, and a short time later, the man who would become my stepfather, Dave, moved in as well. Although he and I did not know each other on a father and son level yet, his very nature and the way he loved my mother just felt right. We ate together, prayed together before meals, and prayed together before I went to bed. Dave and my mom may have gone out now and then, but there was no booze in the house, and to this very day, I have only seen him drunk a handful of times.

This is where things get crazy for me. I was starting public high school and living a family life that I had only dreamt about, and yet I missed the freedom I had found at my grandparents, and honestly, I missed them as well. When I started high school, I almost immediately had a new group of friends, all of whom had spent their lives in public school systems. One part of the parable of the Prodigal Son that is not highlighted much but jumps out at me is that Jesus makes it a point to say that the Prodigal had to take a long journey to a faraway country as he squandered his inheritance on wild living, prostitutes, and sinful behavior. Just as the father of the Prodigal represents our Father in heaven, the land he left is representing the kingdom of God, and the country he traveled to represents the sinful world in which we live. As I read this, I imagine the Prodigal being surrounded by people partying and laughing as he throws his inheritance away. Notice that when his money was gone, so were his friends. As Jesus says in verse 16 that he was longing to be fed, but nobody gave him anything. How indicative is this of how the world is when we leave our brothers and sisters in Christ and the kingdom of God on earth?!

In my first year of high school, I was introduced to marijuana and loved that as well. In no way do I blame my new friends or my parents; I was now simply trying to alter my reality and have what I considered to be a good time as well. When I got high, I would laugh (a lot) with my friends and have what I considered at the time to be these deep and monumental thoughts. I had just gotten my license and really began to gravitate back to my grandparents’ house again. Let me be very clear: My grandparents were amazing, hardworking, God-fearing people, but they were a different generation. My grandfather grew up on a farm and left school to work the family farm when he was twelve. He joined the army and served in Italy during WWII. He was so naturally gifted and intelligent that he was a head machinist at Quaker Oats with virtually no formal education. He and my grandma just saw things differently. I was very mature for my age, and they gave me a lot of trust. I pretty much moved back in with them and stayed at my other grandparents’ often as well. As I mentioned earlier, my grandparents worked first shift and normally did not do anything at night, so they would let me use the one car they had.

To me, the only good thing about high school was seeing friends and the bell ringing at three o’clock. ALL I really cared about was getting high and partying with my friends. As I did not have an inheritance to squander, I began to steal to get the money I needed for drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. Living in that far-off country takes money, and I dropped out of school after my junior year. I remember sitting at the table telling my grandparents, and my grandpa’s response was, Learning a trade is just as valuable as an education. I believe that was probably true then, but the only trade I learned was how to roll a joint while I was driving a car.

Needless to say, during this time, I virtually never went to church. It is important to note that I did not quit going to church because I was doing all the things I shouldn’t. I was instead doing all the things I shouldn’t because I had never made Christ the center of my life, and