God's Radiant Kiss

By Altivese Irvin

God's Radiant Kiss is about the author's increasing awareness of God's presence in her life. She takes you through experiences that confirm the necessity of God's instructions""sharing the way to overcome challenges with heavenly help and practical knowledge, always missing heaven and wanting to see more of God's love reflected in the people she knows and has yet to meet. It is her hope that the words on the pages of this book will create a desire in the souls who read it a yearning to experience a love and a kiss like no other.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Sep 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781641917759

Book preview

1

A Divine Encounter

Everybody’s sick, a woman said to me as I passed her walking down the street. It was a beautiful day—sunlight and clear skies with just a few clouds. On that spring day, I enjoyed the sun’s warmth and a soft breeze as I walked. In New York, strangers don’t usually speak as they pass each other on the sidewalk, which is one of the reasons why I was surprised that she spoke. The woman’s comment was doubly surprising because her statement wasn’t a greeting. What prompts a person to say something like that to someone in passing? She said it almost as if she were talking quietly to herself. She didn’t look at me when she said it, but I got the feeling that her words were a secret message designed to get my attention.

How did she know? I just found out recently that I was type 2 diabetic. I was devastated by the news because I never thought of myself as being unhealthy—or, worse, having a disease. Diabetes is a disease. Saying you have a touch of sugar does not make it less serious. I wondered how this woman knew that I was sick too. I was definitely making an effort to get healthy but not good enough. I hear the reports on the news about obesity on the rise, with endless commercials of various medications targeting a variety of disorders and diseases. I made up my mind to follow the doctor’s orders to take the medication, but I had not committed fully to being consistent with a better diet and exercise.

I am a big Little House on the Prairie fan. I love the lessons the show teaches about family and community. The episodes always have scenes that take place outside, with lots of sunlight and other visuals that include a view of the lake, trees, grass, flowers, and animals. In one of the episodes, the main character, Laura Ingalls Wilder, suffers the loss of her newborn baby boy. The town’s doctor had nothing to do with her baby’s death, but grief compelled her to blame him. During this episode, she made wild accusations about the town’s doctor being the cause of her newborn’s death. One of the townspeople who knew Laura since she was a little girl recognized that she was behaving terribly, which was contrary to her normally pleasant disposition. Attempting to explain her erratic behavior to the townspeople, he stated that she is a disturbed person right then; and it always stood out to me that he said that.

I had only heard the term disturbed used for someone who is mentally ill. To me, a mentally ill person is always sick and has to be in treatment for the rest of their lives. This little house episode suggests that there can be times in your life when you may be sick temporarily. Understanding that some ailments qualify as a short-term episode in your life. So I considered the woman passing me with the statement Everybody’s sick as a personal challenge of addressing my own health. I had to take a look at myself and decide whether or not I was going to be sick. I was taking my medication and I dropped a few pounds, but I had to stay consistent and be even more disciplined with my food and beverage choices to overcome this sickness. I also decided to really think about how I got sick in the first place.

It is important to know how this happened, so I focused in on the health challenges I have always had but ignored. A few years before I was officially diagnosed with diabetes, my doctor told me my sugar was a little high during a routine physical. He suggested that I lose at least five pounds. I felt well enough and I really wasn’t interested in eating less, so I continued to gain weight. Sounds ridiculous, right? I was gaining weight, but I could still do my daily tasks—go to work, come home, maybe go out on the weekend to a movie or something. I suffered from constipation since childhood. I never really got a handle on it as I grew into adulthood. One day I felt like my insides were stuck, and this strange feeling came over me like nothing was moving. My neck got really dark during this time, and I was so thirsty for soda. I once bought a two-liter grape soda with the intention of drinking a glass or two. I drank almost the whole thing, and when I got down to the bottom with just a little left I couldn’t believe that I was still thirsty for more. I started to get so itchy because too much excess sugar in your system creates an overgrowth of yeast. I was suffering so much that I went to the doctor for a cream or pill that would make these symptoms go away. If only it were that simple. After being told that I was diabetic and given a prescription and a few appointments with an endocrinologist and a nutritionist, I realized that this was serious. Reflecting on my childhood diet and bathroom visits, I understood that it was just a matter of time before I developed diabetes.

Diabetes is a disease that affects your body’s ability to produce or use insulin. Insulin is a peptide hormone produced by the pancreas, regulating the absorption of carbohydrates, fats, and protein in the blood. Insulin is the constructive part of metabolism, building organs and tissues. It is considered to be the main anabolic hormone of the body. Low insulin levels in the blood create widespread catabolism, which is the breaking down of healthy tissues that fortify the body’s organs. Excess weight and inactivity are contributing factors for developing diabetes.

I used to run like the wind. I was fast. My cousins and I would race all the time, and we were neck in neck or I would win. Before I was institutionalized at public school—excuse me, I meant to say, before I was enrolled in public school—I played all day ’til it was dark out. When I was called in to eat, I was annoyed because eating was not as fun as playing. Eating was a chore, something to do just to get it out of the way and satisfy your parents. I suffered from constipation in my youth, though I was very slender. I think that I stayed slim because I ran and played a lot, so the bouts of constipation did not slow me down.

It’s said 80 percent of your immune system is located in your digestive track. Toxins create inflammation which can lead to health problems that include but are not limited to diabetes, migraines, peripheral neuropathy, heart disease, dental, and thyroid issues. As long as I kept moving and ate like a bird, the constipation was manageable and I mostly felt energetic and healthy.

Once you are enrolled in school, playtime diminishes tremendously. I started to gain weight after the first grade. I don’t think my parents realized that my self-esteem was suffering due to being overweight. I remember being in a relay race with one of my cousins whom I raced most often and usually won against. He sped past me, and I felt like I was running in quicksand. I had put on so much weight that I wasn’t fast anymore, and I didn’t want to bring attention to myself being fat and all so I stayed out of competition and playing all together. Being fat is embarrassing. I gave up on playing because I did not feel good about being around other children my age while being fat—a vicious cycle. Overeating plus constipation plus no exercise equal disaster. Diabetes was definitely in my future; I just didn’t know it.

When you look back at your life, you can pinpoint the things that brought you to where you are today. Is it becoming clear to you the reason that you are sick? I realize that I did not have a health standard. I just kept letting my body go through changes. When you are young, you rely on your parents to feed you and plan your daily schedule. When you get to an age where you can do this for yourself, there should be self-accountability. For the sake of appearance and physical beauty, I lost weight a few times; but it was never about my health. I took my health for granted.

On a regularly scheduled doctor visit, I almost fell into a puddle of tears. I knew my doctor would say that losing weight would help to correct my health condition. I also knew that I had no willpower or strategy for taking control of my weight. I felt so hopeless and sad for myself. I used to have a diet I could implement or an exercise routine to get me on track. The things I used to do to lose weight no longer held the same appeal, and I lacked the motivation to try. I knew in that moment that I was failing because I was trying to do it all on my own. I hadn’t asked God to help me. As the day went on, I started to feel a little better. Knowing my anguish, God began bringing many things to my remembrance, reminding me of all of my accomplishments, showing me all the things I am doing toward my health that are good, really encouraging me to keep doing my best. What a great cheerleader God is.

Though I didn’t have any resolution about what I would do to lose the excess weight, I felt encouraged by God to keep doing fundamental things like drinking lots of water, adding more fibrous foods into my diet to address the constipation, and taking the prescribed medication to stabilize the excess sugar in my body. This is what I had the will to do at the time. It was a snail’s pace toward getting my sugar levels under control, but it was better than taking no action at all.

Sometimes the motivation you need to get to the place you really want to be just isn’t there. Your mind is not cooperating with your ideals. Your body does not have the energy to carry out the mission. So you may just want to throw in the towel and completely ignore guidelines and just do whatever you feel like doing. God reminded me to get a standard. I needed some kind of guideline on which to hold to get me to a healthier place. I made the effort to stop eating by a certain time in the evening. Whatever I had the will to do, I did it. Committing to these directives kept me from feeling sick and suffering from diabetic symptoms, but it wasn’t enough to fully take complete control of my health. I needed more discipline for that.

There was a time when I could walk up and down the stairs without knee pain. I used to run four miles in the morning five days a week as a teenager. As a young adult, I had a pretty decent diet, and I exercised moderately to keep my weight under control. I just didn’t realize that I needed to keep focused on maintaining my weight while going through life’s challenges. We form habits when we feel overwhelmed. One person may do push-ups or go to the gym to deal with stress, and another person (me) may go to a buffet and make my teeth and gums do the workout. I learned over time to do less buffet and more walking to feel productive when feeling the weight of life’s challenges. Despair can lead to destructive behavior. Sometimes we create bigger problems when we don’t have a plan of action for overcoming difficult moments.

As a way of building discipline for your new health routine, do what you can until you can do a little more. Don’t kick yourself because you got off track. Remember God. When you lack inspiration and motivation, continue doing the things that keep you from going too far off the path. When the motivation finally shows up, you want to be in good enough condition to get started for real. This is what God was bringing me to—positioning me to springboard into the next phase of better health by maintaining a good attitude and steady practices to propel me forward to greater success.

We see some success stories of people who have recaptured their health after being told by their doctor that their body won’t survive much longer if they don’t make a change right away. However, there are many people who don’t survive their health crisis because they exercised no restraint for so long that when the situation became critical, they were so far out with bad habits that they had no will to do what was needed to live. Sometimes you may find yourself just holding on to some basic health standards to survive. Maintain that inclination and keep pushing to the next level of accomplishment. Start thinking about the kind of body you want. I want my body to be strong enough to walk easily and run easily without getting obnoxiously winded. I want nice, smooth, healthy skin hair and nails. There are some really great beauty benefits that come with being healthy. Everything that makes you feel good in your body—want it and aim for it. Do something toward your health every day. When you finally get the motivation to really get in gear, you won’t be so far from your goal.

God continued to show me things about my life that I had long forgotten, bringing to my remembrance the healthy practices that I have utilized throughout my life. Spotlighting past experiences to remind me of lessons I’ve learned that, when exercised, keep me in a healthy frame of mind. Because health is not just about the physical. I recalled choices that I have made, relationships that I have and have had, and also personal philosophies I try my best to live by. I was reminded that I have made some really great strides in my life, knowing that all my cumulative achievements will eventually be reflected in my health and physical appearance. I just need to be kind to myself and let God be my center focus, always and not just sometimes. When I remember that God is with me, I feel steady. When I look to God for help, the answer returns to me like a gentle breeze of thought, sometimes in a dream or during the day when I am just pondering peacefully. God is always there, wanting me to succeed. I think sickness happens when you are out of sync with God, so I am stoking the fire of God within me, feeling hopeful as I remember all the times I was really in sync with him and promising myself to be connected more