To Walk on Water

By Timothy Paul Neller

Terry thought that his life would change drastically when he became a Christian, and it did, but not in the way that he thought it would. Instead of life being easier, it became much harder, each day filled with temptations that were challenges to his newfound faith. His feelings about himself and those around him intensified, and when he felt himself sliding back into his old habits, his closest friends, Lolly and Nick, assured him that they were always there to support him, urged him not to lose his faith, and reminded that God would always give him the strength and wisdom to handle any problem. He wasn't so sure about that when his girlfriend Jenny came back from New York City after trying out for the New York Ballet and would no longer talk to him. After her trip to New York, Jenny too was struggling with her faith and began to question whether or not God even existed. She shut herself off from those around her, began to hate her father, and felt hopelessly lost. It was only through her friend, Lolly, that she again began to see things more clearly. But Terry continued to struggle, and it was only when the lives of all his friends had been threatened and he seemed to have lost everything did he come to know God and to understand his true purpose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781645158219

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To Walk on Water

Timothy Paul Neller

Copyright © 2019 by Timothy Paul Neller

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Prologue

When Terry became a Christian, he thought life was suddenly going to be easier, that the troubles he had faced before would suddenly disappear and vanish as if by magic. It didn’t take him long to realize that he was wrong. In fact, it seemed as if the world suddenly became a lot more ominous, and that every day was a much greater challenge than it had ever been before. Before, his life had just been about himself, and he could justify everything he did and said and didn’t have to answer to anyone, not even God.

Now it was different. Now he had to be a much different person, not because it was what the world expected, but because it was what God expected. He didn’t know if he had the strength and the courage to change, to be what God wanted him to be. But he made a promise to himself, a promise that he was going to do it, no matter how difficult or long it might take. Jenny had told him that it would not be easy and that he would often feel like giving up. She also reminded him that his very life depended on it and to remember that he would never be alone, that she would be with him every step of the way. But even more importantly, God would be with them too. They were dancing with God together.

1

The August sun was unforgiving, searing the skin on Terry’s face and burning his hands as he grasped on to the chain-link fence and staggered to regain his balance. He sucked in the hot air and lumbered over to the starting line, waiting for his signal. His legs felt like lead.

Coach Weissmuller bellowed out from across the field, You ready, Beshara?

Terry nodded his head and hunched over on the starting line. His head was whirling and he was tired, but he had to make this his best run. He raised his hand above his head and he tensed his arms and legs and ground his feet into the turf.

Okay, then. Let me see what you got. Coach blasted his whistle, and Terry exploded off the grass. The hair on his neck bristled as he surged forward with all his might toward the orange cones propped in the middle of the football field. His whole body was aching as he dove across the finish line while the word Time! clanged in his ears. Coach looked down at his stopwatch, then glanced up at Terry. Beshara, come over here. I need to talk to you.

Terry’s grey t-shirt was dripping in sweat and he held his head down as he dragged over to Coach Weissmuller to see what his time was in the 40.

5.2, Terry. That’s the fastest you’ve done today, and that was your tenth run. You feeling okay?

Terry took a deep breath, then sighed as he looked at the coach and nodded his head. Yeah, coach. I feel fine. Just a little out of shape, I think. I’ll be better tomorrow.

Well, I hope so. You were a lot faster in the 40 last year: 4.3, 4.4 was regular for you, even on a bad day. Now you’re averaging around five seconds on your dash, and our first game is next week. If you don’t get faster and stronger real soon, I’m going to have to put Jim Judd in your linebacker position.

Terry gazed at the coach with a look of incredulity, then smiled slightly as he replied, Yeah, I know, coach. You’ve got to do what’s best for the team. I know that. But I’ll get better. I promise. I really want to be the starter.

Coach Weissmuller shook his head, then slowly drawled as he put his hand on Terry’s shoulder. Listen, my boy. I’ve been in this football game all my life. A lot longer than you been alive as a matter of fact. And these last three years, I gotta tell you, you were the best athlete I ever saw. Fast, strong, powerful, fierce. I felt sorry for any guy who had to come against you and glad you were on our team. Especially last year. You were like dynamite. But something has happened over the summer, and now you hardly seem like the same person. You’re still a darn good player, but you’re about twenty-five pounds lighter and a lot slower. Maybe it’s ’cause you got mauled by that stray dog last year that jacked up your leg? Have you been to the doctor?

Terry’s thoughts zoomed back to the fatal day that Duke had attacked him and he had battered the dog with a snow shovel until he could no longer move. He thought he had killed him, and he remembered how he had panicked and dumped the dog in a ditch by River des Peres. Then he raced back home, fumbling for a story that he could tell to his father. So much had happened to him since then. His father had been murdered, his sister had been hospitalized, and he had joined a motorcycle gang. Then he met Jenny, and everything changed. He became a Christian, he saved his sister from a kidnapping, and Duke pulled him out of River des Peres and saved him from drowning. God is a wonder, Terry thought, and amazingly good.

Terry, you listening to me? Coach Weissmuller grabbed Terry’s shoulder and roughly shook him. Are you all right, son?

Terry snapped out of his reverie and looked into the eyes of the coach. Then he dropped his head down and stared at the ground as he replied, No, coach, I haven’t been to the doctor. Don’t need to be looked at. I’m good.

Well, whatever it is, you need to take care of it. I’m worried about you, son. You just don’t have that edge like you used to. Know what I mean? Coach Weissmuller turned around and walked away as Terry watched him trudge toward the locker room.

Yes, Terry knew exactly what he meant. He didn’t know if Weissmuller knew that he had been taking steroids, but coach knew that he was doing something different and wanted him to get back into his old routine. He wanted to have the old Terry back. The Terry who was a nightmare for all of the opposing teams.

Terry had become almost a legend in the St. Louis arena of athletics, and colleges nationwide were clamoring to have him come to play at their school. But there had been an adjustment at last year’s state final when Terry had pulled out of the competition and decided to sit it out in the stands with Jenny. When that happened, Coach Anastasoff lost control of himself and threw such a tantrum that he shoved an official on the ground and socked the winning shot putter in the face. There had always been rumors of his antics in gym class that were never fully substantiated, but after his violent behavior at the track meet, he was fired from his position at the school and was also sued by the parents of the athlete that Coach Anastasoff had assaulted. By unanimous decision, the board of education requested that Pete Bennett become the new coach, and Bennett humbly accepted their generous offer.

So Terry was in a dilemma. After long conversations with both Jenny and Nick, he had decided to stop using steroids and to train diligently without them. But there was a marked difference in both his performance and his appearance. He gradually lost weight, and that was accompanied by a corresponding loss in strength. His 550-pound squat for five reps went down to a struggling 440 pounds, and his bench press suffered just as much, going from 420 pounds for three reps to 315 pounds. And he felt like a turtle in his sprints. He used to be the fastest, most explosive guy on the field, and now he looked like a wannabe. I’ve got to do something, Terry mumbled to himself. If the scouts see me like this, they won’t want to have nothing to do with me. What am I going to do?

As he wearily moseyed toward the locker room, he heard a familiar voice chanting out his name. Hey, Terry, Terry! Hey, Terry! It was Nick Cooper, and he was lightly jogging around the track and heading straight toward Terry. Hi, guy. What are you up to? Hey, I saw you doing your sprints while I was getting some laps in. You look like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders. Is everything okay? Nick scurried off the track and made his way to Terry’s side. What’s going on?

Terry continued to plod toward the locker room, silent and brooding. Nick, who had once been his nemesis, had now become his best friend, and he welcomed the chance to share with him the turmoil that was churning inside of him. Well, Nick. You know, it’s the same old thing. We already talked about it. I’m not using steroids anymore, and that’s a good thing, because I’m not going to be cheating or messing up my body. But the bad thing is that I just can’t do what I did when I was on them. I’m lighter and slower and weaker. I just don’t think I can compete at the level that I did when I was on them. What am I going to do, man?

Nick wrapped his arm over Terry’s shoulder as they passed through the gate of the chain-link fence, then stopped him before they entered the building. Look, Terry, I know where you’re coming from. I know this means everything to you. And we talked about it before, but I still don’t think you really get it. As long as you believe that you can’t be as good without them, then you won’t be. It’s that simple. You are what you believe. The only way you can change is to change your thinking. Then you’ll be as good as you want to be.

Terry knew where Nick was coming from. Nick had been transformed from just an average runner to a national contender in less than a year, and he accredited all of his success to his faith in God and the strength that he gave him.

Yes, yes, I know what you’re saying, and I understand. But you’re different. You’re a better person than I am. You always have been. And that’s why God works so well in you. But I’m not the same. I was a thug, and God knows that, and I don’t think he wants me to make it like you. He doesn’t think I deserve it. I think he wants something else for me. I just don’t know what it is. Terry’s shoulders slumped down and then he gazed around the track as if he could just find the answer somewhere in the sky if he looked hard enough.

Nick looked at his friend, then smiled as he replied, You know, we’ve talked about this, and for some reason, I’m not really getting through to you like I want to. You know what? I think you need to talk to Lolly’s dad. He’s the one who got me to really understand what it means to have God work in your life. To make you the best you can be. Bennett’s going to be your coach in spring track anyway, so I think you need to go talk to him. If anyone can help you get through this, it’s him. What do you say?

Terry sighed heavily. Nick was such a great guy, and he couldn’t believe how kind he was to him after all of the abuse Terry had meted out to him from the time they first met in Miss Nelson’s class in first grade. Year after year, Terry found ways to antagonize him and make his life miserable, and now here he was doing everything he could to help him out. It was truly amazing. And he was right. If anyone could help him, it would be Coach Bennett. Yeah, I think you’re right. Lolly’s dad is something else anyway. Look how he helped you with your running. I can’t wait to see how the whole team does with him as our new coach. I think next season is going to be something special.

Nick nodded in agreement. Yes, he is going to make a difference all right. You know, this is the first time that the school has ever hired a lay person to be a coach for any of the sports here. And plus, he’s a minister. That’s a first.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Nick. You’ve been a big help. Made me feel a lot better just talking to you. I’ll go and talk to Lolly’s dad first chance I get.

Lost in their thoughts, they walked quietly as they headed toward the locker room, then Nick broke the silence as he turned his head toward Terry. Hey, look, I’m heading toward Lolly’s house now soon as I clean up and change. Why don’t you come on with me? Lolly and I are going to be busy working on our science project for Mr. Devilbiss’ class, and you could have the chance to talk to Coach Bennett. What do you say?

Terry loosened shoestrings on his cleats, tossed them into his locker, then looked at Nick. He was hesitant to talk to Lolly’s dad because he was worried that he would condemn him for having used steroids. He thought the world of Coach Bennett and didn’t want to lose his favor. He stammered, Oh, I don’t know. Might not be such a good idea. Tonight, I mean. I mean, he’s not expecting me, and I wouldn’t want to go there unannounced and everything. I think it might be better if we did it somewhere else. You know, maybe a different time later. Know what I mean?

Nick looked at Terry curiously. I thought you wanted to talk to him? As he studied his face, he guessed the reason for his concern and added, Hey, you don’t have to worry. Coach Bennett isn’t going to judge you or criticize you. He’s not like that. He knows the kind of guy you are and he’ll do everything he can to help you out. You can trust me on that.

Rubbing his hands together, Terry sat down on the long wooden bench of the locker room, shrugged his shoulders, then turned toward Nick. You think so? You think he’ll really listen to me? I mean, I’m a big mess. You know that.

Grinning, Nick replied, Oh, yeah, he’ll listen to you all right. He’s a good listener. He’ll even listen to your sorry story. Nick slapped Terry with a towel and retreated when Terry jumped up from the bench and began to pursue his tormenter. As Terry grabbed him and yanked the towel from him and put him in a headlock, Nick blurted out, But you gotta be careful. You can’t do me any harm. If you do, he won’t listen to you. You don’t want to do his best runner any harm.

Terry playfully shoved Nick against the locker and laughed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are such a dork. He took Nick’s towel and threw it at him, then the two went back to their locker, joking and shoving each other as they talked about what the new track season would be like with Lolly’s dad as their new coach. Within minutes, they had cleaned up and were heading out toward Lolly’s house.

The still summer air was still blazing hot, and waves of heat could be seen slowly shimmering from the asphalt of the school parking lot. Both Terry and Nick could drive, but they chose not to drive to school, preferring to walk through the park and to save money on gas. As they neared one of the outdoor pavilions, Nick spotted Mrs. Heinrich rummaging through a trash can, picking out soda pop cans and tossing them into a kidnapped grocery cart. Hey, Terry, look over there. It’s old Mrs. Heinrich. Let’s go over and say hi to her.

Twisting his head around and peering in her direction, Terry quickly responded, No way. Uh-uh. Nope. I don’t want to go over and chat. Just don’t think I can handle her today. She always talks nonsense and she wants to hug us and kiss us on the cheeks over and over. She’s a sweet lady, but just too much for me to handle sometimes.

Grinning at his friend’s reluctance, Nick reminded Terry, Oh come on, Terry. You know you’re secretly in love with her and would grab her if she wasn’t already married. You know that’s true.

Terry playfully shoved Nick on the shoulder and almost knocked him to the ground. Oh, shut up! You are such an idiot. Come on, let’s go in a different direction and hope that she doesn’t see us. Come on.

But it was too late. Mrs. Heinrich had heard their banter and was rapidly approaching them as she pushed her grocery cart toward them. Rattling across the rough pebbled concrete walk, she sang as she came ever closer, and Terry prompted Nick as he swiveled his hips and began to take long smooth steps. Come on, let’s pick up the pace and walk a lot faster. If we move fast enough, she won’t be able to catch up with us.

Oh, man, you are so hard-hearted. Give me a break. The old lady deserves some attention from us. Hey, just remember, you owe your life to that lady. She gave us both the clues we needed to save us from the Slays and to find the girls of our dreams.

Kicking a pine cone off the path as he scraped his feet along the ground, Terry replied, Yeah, yeah, I don’t believe in that stuff. Just a bunch of gobbledygook. She ain’t no psychic. Just mumbles a bunch of nonsense that doesn’t make no sense to nobody until after the fact. He peered over in her direction and saw that she was rapidly coming closer. Come on, Nick, let’s move it. We don’t want to waste no time with her today.

The clanking of the jostled cans bounced of the hard pavement, and her rusty voice shattered the stillness of the park as she shouted, Whooee, boys. Oh, boys. Whooee. Here I am. It’s me. Your fairy godmother. I’ve come to bring you presents.

Nick grabbed Terry’s elbow and pulled him to a halt as she sang and skipped ever closer toward them. Come on, Terry. Give her a break. She’s not going to do us any harm and she so loves the attention we give to her when she talks. We are her favorite audience. Give her a break.

Sulking, Terry shoved his hands into his pockets as he appraised the wiggling torso of the homeless tattered woman who sounded like a mockingbird that had gone wild.

Here I am. Here I am. Your angel that welcomes you from all distress. Not a maiden in need, but a maiden nonetheless. Here to bring you tidings of nothingness that can fill your cup to overflowing. Her with gems that can fill your treasure chest and make it whole again. Little shiny trinkets that you need to clasp onto the chains around your neck. She jammed her jostling cart against an old oak tree, then shoved her body against Terry as she grabbed him and squeezed him while she kissed him three times on both cheeks. Then she scurried over to Nick, who was smiling like a clown, and repeated the same welcoming affection. She took two steps back, then snorted as she shuffled her hands into her pockets and retrieved two Snickers bars, handing one to each boy with a smile on her face. Enjoy. Enjoy, she said, encouraging them to remove the wrappers and to take a bite. Eat. Eat. It’s good for you. Gives you energy. You are growing boys, you know.

Then she jumped back into Terry’s face and whispered into his ear, Look out, look out, before it is too late. Your butterfly is migrating, flying to the big apple. Far, far away. Not a good thing. The apple is rotten, and if she takes a bite, she will surely fall to the ground and suffer from the sleeping death. Your little princess. Keep her away from the big apple. Do not let her go.

She then turned her head toward Nick and squeezed his arm, And you, dear knight. In the darkness below the earth, take heed when you wander. Oceans there are that can fill the blackest holes and leave you nothing but water to breathe. You are not a fish. Remember that.

Both boys glanced at each other as she ran back to her cart and hustled off into a grove of pine trees, humming Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony loudly as she rapidly faded away.

Terry looked at Nick and said, See what I mean? What a flake. That woman is absolutely amazing. And scary. What do you think she meant anyway?

Nick cocked his head to the side and watched an owl that was perched on a limb above him as he replied, Beats me. Guess I’ve got to stay out of black holes, and you have to watch out for your butterfly.

Oh, come on, now. I ain’t got no butterfly. Least I don’t think so anyway. Come on, let’s go. We want to make it to Lolly’s house so we don’t mess up their dinner.

They ambled down the gravel path of the park, slowly unwrapping the Snickers bars, which were half-melted, and licked their fingers as they bit into the sweet confection and laughed as they thought about the words that Heinrich had spoken. Nick commented, You know, that butterfly just might be your Jenny. She looks like a butterfly when she’s dancing. I’m not sure what that has to do with an apple, though. And the holes, I’m going to have to do some more thinking about that.

Terry grinned and elbowed Nick. Yeah, well, you keep thinking about it. That’s what you’re good at. Just keep on thinking. I know you’ll come up with something good. He laughed and took another bite from his Snickers bar as he kicked another pine cone off the path and into a tree. Me, I’m not going to worry about it. Whatever’s going to happen is going to happen, no matter what Heinrich says.

They continued to banter about the coming track season, and within a short time, they had arrived at the front door of Lolly’s house. Nick pressed on the doorbell, and shortly, the door swung open, and Lolly stood in the doorway with her usual sunshine grin.

Hi, guys. She looked at Nick, then Terry, and exclaimed, Good to see you again, Terry. What’s happening? Before he could answer, she said, Well, don’t just stand there. Come on in. The house is a little cooler than the outside anyway. Come on. As they entered, Lolly cautioned them, We’ve got to be quiet for a while. Dad is in the living room doing his yoga. He’ll be done in about five minutes, I think.

Baffled, the two looked at her as Nick asked, Yoga? Your dad does yoga? Why’s your dad doing that? I thought that was some kind of voodoo from India or something. I didn’t think you could do that and be a Christian.

Lolly laughed as she responded, Oh, no, no. That’s what a lot of people think. It is true that yoga was first practiced by Hindu’s with the belief that it would help them to be spiritually centered, but Dad’s not into all that. He just does it for the stretching and the fitness he gets from it. He always does it right after his runs or his workouts. He thinks it really helps keep his body flexible and strong without straining it. But it’s not only a physical thing with him. He thinks it’s really good for the mind and improves your concentration and body awareness.

Terry craned his neck briefly around the doorway to get a glimpse of her dad as he sat on a mat in the middle of the living room floor. He was arched like a cat stretching and his eyes were closed. Wow, yoga. That’s far out. Who woulda thought it? Wow, Lolly, your dad is full of surprises. I never would have thought it.

Lolly nudged them along as she tugged on Nick’s t-shirt. Shh, come on and don’t talk. We don’t want to disturb his concentration. Are you guys thirsty? We have some fresh cold lemonade that I just made this morning. Come on in and try some and tell me what you think.

The two boys followed Lolly through the Dutch door and settled down on the turquoise kitchen chairs. The bright chrome of the legs sparkled in the rays of warm sunlight that rushed in through the window above the sink and bounced off the smooth Formica tabletop. Lolly reached into the Frigidaire and pulled out a glass pitcher of lemonade that sloshed around as she placed it on the table, while Terry rubbed his hand across the clean shining tabletop.

Terry looked at her and smiled, Boy, I gotta say one thing, Lolly. You sure do keep this place clean. It’s like a hospital that’s been sanitized.

Nick poked Terry in the knee with his foot while Lolly deftly tossed her head back and briefly shut her eyes as she retrieved two glistening glass from the cupboard. We try to do our best for our customers, she replied with a repressed smile and a wink to Nick. Yes, we want to make sure they are free from germs in our house.

Embarrassed by his stupidity, Terry blurted out, Oh hey, I didn’t mean nothing by that. I was just saying… I mean… I was just noticing… I mean…your place is really clean. Looks really good. I like it. I—

Lolly bent over Terry from behind and hugged him warmly. That’s okay, sugar bear. I know you didn’t mean ‘nothing’ by it. You’re a sweetheart. She poured the cold fresh lemonade into their glasses and watched as Terry guzzled the whole glass without taking a breath. He then looked up at her, and she responded by pouring another glass, which he finished as rapidly as the first.

Meanwhile, Nick was observing his friend with ultimate delight, knowing that everything that Terry did was always panoramic. Sipping the lemonade, he placed his glass on the table and remarked, So what do you think, Terry? It looks like the lemonade meets your approval. Am I right?

Lost in his own thoughts and relishing the sweet icy refreshment that was rushing down his throat, Terry looked up at Nick and answered, What? Oh, yeah, it’s good. Really good. He looked up at Lolly and grinned. Yeah, Lolly. Really great stuff. Cold and sweet and wet. Really hits the spot. You need to teach me how you make this stuff. It’s just what I need on a hot summer day. Great, great stuff. He was enjoying the attention he was getting and added, Would it be rude to ask for another glass?

Lolly slowly poured Terry his third glass as she questioned him, Are you able to taste it when it goes down that fast? She winked at Nick again and added, I was just wondering. I wasn’t sure if the tongue had a chance to touch the lemonade before it reached your stomach. That’s all.

Grabbing the glass and putting it to his lips, he carefully took a tasting sip and answered, Yes, of course I can taste it. Excellent quality of lemonade. I might even say it is the best lemonade that I have ever experienced. Truly amazing stuff. I must have your recipe. Terry then folded his hands around the glass, taking sporadic sips of the liquid and swirling them in his mouth as he rolled his eyes around as if he had just discovered a magic elixir.

As the three were laughing, Pete Bennett waltzed into the room. The look of serenity on his damp face contrasted with his sweat-stained t-shirt and his tousled gray hair which seemed to be reaching out in all directions. He smacked Terry on the back as he passed his chair and strode over to the sink where he rinsed his face with his hands in the cool tap water. After drying his face with a yellow hand towel, he leaned back against the kitchen counter, looking at the three amused teenagers as they sat there silently waiting for him to speak. So, hey, what’s going on? I heard all this ruckus in here while I was becoming one with myself, and the minute I step into the room, it becomes silent like a mortuary. Anything at all you three want to share with me?

Terry immediately answered, Yes, sir, there is. He slowly rose from his chair, stepped over to the cupboard, grabbed an empty glass from the bottom shelf, then returned to the table where he filled the glass to the brim with some of Lolly’s lemonade. Extending his arm out to Lolly’s dad, he added, We want to share some of this with you. We think you’ll like it. Best lemonade brew in the whole world. Made by your lovely daughter, Lolly. We think you’ll like it.

Tickled by Terry’s antics, Coach Bennett took the glass and repressed his urge to laugh as he focused his attention on the cold concoction he was holding, inspecting it as if it were a rare laboratory vial filled with a miraculous substance. Yes, yes, I can see that this is indeed a rare find. Lemonade, you say? He continued to frown as he inspected the glass from top to bottom. Hmm, yes, it does look like lemonade. Made by Lolly, you say? Hmm, let me see. He sniffed the rim of the glass, then took a small sip. He swished it around in his mouth, swallowed, then took a second longer sip, tilted his head back slightly, and made a low gurgling sound before he swallowed. Yes, indeed, great stuff. Not only is it sweet and tangy, but it’s cold and refreshing. I might even go so far as to say that just with those first two swallows, I feel a surge of renewed energy. Yes, sir, the fountain of youth, that’s what it is. Made by my own daughter no less. He smiled broadly as he reached over to Lolly and wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a warm hug.

Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, he added, Yes, Terry, I’ve got to agree with you. She is the best lemonade maker in the whole world. No doubt about it. He walked over to the sink, placed his glass on the counter, stretched his arms high over his head as he yawned, and asked, So boys, tell me how your day’s been? Guess you’ve got your morning run in, Nick. What about you, Terry? How’s the football practice going? He peered over at Terry who had just finished his third glass of lemonade.

Oh, well, practice is going okay, I guess. I’m working hard, but I’m not in the shape that I was in last year, you know? I weighed a lot more then, and I’m just not as strong or fast. He shifted around in his seat, then fumbled with his glass as he looked at Nick and Lolly, then added, Guess I’m getting old or something.

Coach Bennett looked at Terry sternly, then began walking out of the kitchen. Getting old, huh? No, I don’t think so. You haven’t even reached your prime yet. He motioned for Terry to follow him, Come on, Terry, I think I need to have a talk with you in the den. He looked over at the table. I think Nick and Lolly can manage to keep busy while we’re having our chat, right kids?

The two nodded in unison as Terry made his way toward the door and followed Coach Bennet through the hallway and into the den. Terry had never been in Coach Bennett’s den before and he was overwhelmed by what he saw. Coach Bennett’s den was like a memorial. The maple paneling of the office was covered with framed gold medals, brass plaques, and documents commemorating his athletic achievements, and an entire wall was filled with silver trophies and mementos. On the wall behind his desk was a large framed verse that hung beneath a golden Celtic cross. It said, "And whatsoever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus." Terry stood motionless with his mouth partially open, while Coach Bennett sauntered over to his desk and sat in a large leather swivel chair.

Yes, yes, I know, this is my little trophy room. Laura’s mother was responsible, against my protests I might add, but it gave her great pleasure to adorn my office with all these little trinkets. And when she passed away, I couldn’t bring myself to redecorating the place. All of these ornaments kind of remind me of her and how much love she had for me. Sounds sentimental, I know, but she was a very special woman, and I miss her so much. Lolly’s a lot like her. Bennett’s voice grew heavy, and he had to clear his throat as he gestured toward Terry. But that’s neither here nor there. We’re here to talk about you and your training, not me. So have a seat, and let’s see if we can come up with a program that will help make you the champion that God wants you to be.

Terry looked at him in surprise. How did you know I wanted to talk to you about my training?

Coach Bennett smiled and answered, Just had a hunch, young man. You had that look on your face. One that showed me you were confused and needed some questions answered. Am I right?

Terry could hardly believe what he was hearing. It was as if Coach Bennett had been reading his mind. He nodded his head affirmatively as he sat down in an old wooden chair. It was weathered and looked like it had been around for a long time.

That chair you’re sitting in was made by my grandfather almost a hundred and fifty years ago. He lived on a farm up in DeWitt, Michigan, and made furniture once he left home. That one was made from an old oak tree that got struck down by lightning in front of their house, so he made good use of the wood that was left.

Feeling the smooth arms and looking down at the worn legs, the chair felt solid and comfortable, almost if it had been contoured especially for him. Terry looked up at Coach Bennett and exclaimed, Wow, that’s really something. Made by hand. You don’t find anything like this anymore. And it feels so strong, like it could last forever. Wow. Terry rubbed his hands again on the smooth surface, then tilted his head toward Coach Bennett and said, Well, I don’t really know where to start. I’ve got a lot to say. And there are some things that I’m embarrassed to tell you. Things that I’ve done in the past to help my training. Things that I know you wouldn’t approve of.

Leaning back in his chair with his arms folded across his chest, Bennett replied, Are you talking about the steroids you were using last year?

Dumbfounded, Terry looked at him and stuttered, Wha…wha…what? Steroids? Wha…ah…how…how did you know? How did you know I was on steroids last year?

Lowering his voice so that Terry could barely hear him, Coach Bennett replied, You know, I’ve been around the block a few times long before you were even born, and I’ve seen some things. There were lots of clues that gave you away. You see, you’ve always been an impressive athlete. Even from the time you were a little sizzler. And then last year came along and there was a dramatic change in you. You made gains that no human body can make in such a short amount of time, and your whole attitude changed. You went from being an aggressive cocky jock to an unpredictable, arrogant, wild man who seemed to have lost his reason. I figured it was all because of the steroids you were taking.

Terry’s head dropped down in embarrassment. He had no idea that his use of steroids was that obvious. He thought that no one really knew that he was getting by with something, but now, here was Coach telling him he knew all along. He wondered how many others knew or suspected him of using steroids. At that moment, Terry felt like he just wanted to disappear. Here he was, sitting with a man he admired and looked up to, a man who he wanted to be just like, and that same man knew that Terry was a liar and a cheater. How could he ever ask him for help or guidance? He probably didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He certainly wouldn’t want to coach him. Of that, Terry was sure.

Coach Bennett rose from his chair and walked over to Terry and placed his hand upon his shoulder. Son, look at me.

Terry lifted his head and peered into the face of the man standing over him. Goodness and honesty seemed to radiate from his face, just as it did from Lolly’s. Just like the old oak chair I’m sitting in, thought Terry. Something true and genuine that will last more than a lifetime.

Coach Bennett continued speaking in a strong yet gentle voice. Listen to me, Terry. You’re not the only one. Athletes have always looked for ways to get better, ways to win at any expense, even if they had to cheat. But let me tell you something, the person they are cheating the most is themselves. Coach stepped back and slowly paced around the room as he spoke. His voice filled the room, and Terry’s eyes followed him as he made his way to the trophy wall and stopped. That’s right, Terry. You know what I’m saying is true. The person they are cheating the most is themselves. Why? Because they’ve given up. They’ve thought that they can’t do it without something from the outside, so they’ve given up on themselves and tried to use something from the outside to help them to win, to reach the top.

Coach moved back to his desk and placed his hands on the back of the old swivel desk chair. And a lot of time they do just that, they do win, and they do make it to the top. But I ask you, what have they really won? Honor? Fame? Recognition? Maybe even wealth and prosperity? But at what price? Who are they really? If they are honest with themselves, they will know that they are no more than a sham, a fabrication they have created that is not genuine, but artificial and temporary. They are not the real product, but only a cheap imitation. A temporary model that will soon fall to the wayside and be forgotten. Is that what you want, Terry? To be a momentary hero that others idolize, but no more than a paper model that has no substance? Or do you want to be a real champion, a champion for life?

Searching for words to formulate, Terry began to respond, but coach resumed talking before any words came out.

Then let me tell you something. There is no way that you can improve this body that God has given you. He has given you a body that can be as strong and as fast as you want it to be. When people use drugs to try to get better, it is because they have forgotten that, and they don’t think it is possible to achieve the success they are looking for unless they use some kind of magic dust.

Terry looked up at Coach and faltered as he spoke. I know what you’re saying, Coach, and I really want to believe it. But the fact is, when I was on steroids, I was faster and stronger than I am now. And I’ve been working hard, but I’m just able to perform like I did when I was on the juice. And I don’t know what to do. I want to do my best, but I’m not where I was when I was on Dianabol and Durabolin. That’s just the way it is. And I know that Jim Judd is using them, and now he’s going to take my place as a starter. So I don’t know what to do. I’ve been working my butt off and I’m being passed up by the guys that are taking the stuff.

Coach Bennett leaned over his desk and stared at Terry, "Son, remember that phrase ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?’"

Sure, Coach. And I believe it. But it just doesn’t seem to be working for me. It seems like I need something more than just my faith to get me going.

Coach stood up tall, took a deep breath, then exhaled loudly as he frowned and stared at the elephant sculpture that sat upon his desk. Terry, do you remember seeing Nick win the mile race last year?

Terry nodded.

What did you see when you saw him run?

I saw a man who looked like he was flying. It was incredible. It was if he were being lifted up and carried along by the wind. I’ll always remember that. It was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.

Do you remember what he said when he finished the race?

Terry reflected on that afternoon and all of the events that led up to Nick’s victory. He remembered how hard he had trained and how resolute he was in following Coach Bennett’s advice. He also recalled how Nick fervently prayed throughout the day and silently bowed his head before the race. He remembered how he was knocked down and was left far behind on the track. But most of all, he could still remember how he got up and bolted down the track as if possessed. Nick’s voice was still echoing in his mind. I got up and finished the race because I knew that was what God wanted. I could feel his pleasure and joy, and I could feel the love from him and all the people who have helped me out and believed in me. That’s what gave me the strength and courage to run like that. God lifted me up and carried me across the finish line. That’s the only way I can explain it…

Standing up to face coach, Terry looked at Coach and replied, Yes, Coach, I do remember what he said. I remember every word. It wasn’t just Terry running. Christ was inside of him too. It reminds me of what Jenny told me when I asked her about her dancing. She said she became a different dancer when she realized that she wasn’t out there on the stage alone. That God was with her and that she was dancing with God. She said after she realized that, she became the best dancer ever. She said she felt pure joy when she was on stage and felt like she could do anything.

Coach came from behind the desk and approached Terry and grabbed him by the shoulders. That is exactly what I am talking about! When you put your faith and trust in God, when you turn yourself totally over to him, you become a different person. And there is nothing you cannot do. There are no limits when it comes to God’s power and love. When you let that happen, it is no longer about you, it is about God and glorifying him in your life, no matter what you are doing. Coach paused for a moment as he looked at Terry to let his words sink in, then he added, But you have to remember something, Terry. It’s not about your will, it’s about God’s. He might not want you to be a super athlete. He might have other plans for you. So when you pray to him, keep that in mind.

I will, Coach. And thanks. Thanks for listening to me. And thanks for helping me through this. I won’t let you down. I promise.

Coach patted Terry on the back as he walked with him out of the study. I know you won’t, Terry. You never have and you never will. I think God has great plans for you. He looked at Terry and smiled. Yes, sir, great plans. Far beyond the football field and the track, I can tell you that. You are going to make a difference in this world. You just wait and see.

Terry shrugged his shoulders and glanced at Coach. Well, I don’t know about all that. For now, I just want to be a better athlete and to graduate from high school. That’s enough for me for now.

Coach Bennett laughed as the two joined Nick and Lolly who were actively engaged in a game of Monopoly. They paused momentarily and looked up from the board as Terry stopped in the middle of the room and told them, Hey guys, thanks for having me over. Coach and I had a good talk. So look, I’ve got to be going. Thanks again for inviting me over.

Lolly appealed to Terry, Oh, Terry, we were hoping you would join us in this game of Monopoly and then join us for dinner. She glanced back at Nick, then added, We’d love for you to join us. Won’t you stay? Please.

Terry hesitated. Lolly’s voice was so earnest and her face so sincere, she was a hard person to say no to. But he had other plans. No, I can’t, really. I told Jenny I would meet her after her dance class, and I was planning on taking her out to dinner at Giorgio’s up on The Hill.

Nick nudged Lolly and grinned as he looked up at Terry, Hey, you could ask her over here for dinner instead. Lolly makes a mean salad.

No thanks, Bud. Nothing personal intended, Lolly, but I’m just hunkering for some real Italian food tonight…ravioli, lasagna, spaghetti, pizza, linguini…you know, that kind of stuff. He looked earnestly at Lolly. No offense intended. I just feel like chowing on something that will really stick to my ribs. Know what I mean?

Lolly laughed and stood up as she approached him. No offense taken. I know you want to have some time with Jenny by yourself. She went over to him and gave him a hug. Tell her we are thinking of her, and give her a hug for me.

Terry gave her a brief hug back, then retreated toward the front door. Well, guys, I’ve got to be going. Don’t want to keep the lady waiting. See you all later. He looked at Lolly’s father who had moved to the rocking chair and appeared to be lost in thought. And thanks, Coach, for all your advice. I’m really excited about the coming season. Can’t wait to see what happens.

Coach beamed as Terry opened the door and turned around. You’re welcome, my boy. Have a good evening now, he shouted as Terry stormed down the steps.

Coach rose from the rocker and quietly closed the door as he watched Terry disappear running down the sidewalk. He pivoted and stared at Nick and Lolly who were preparing to resume their game and chuckled to himself. That boy is something else. All nuts and bolts. But mark my words, he’s going to be something someday. Someone special. You just wait and see.

Already absorbed in the resumption of their game, Lolly and Nick made no comment. He then grabbed his Bible from the end table, sat down, and rocked gently in the chair as he began reading softly to himself, In the beginning— In less than a minute, his heavy eyelids closed, his head dropped, and a snore that sounded like a bowling ball rolling toward the ten pins rumbled loudly from his chest.

Nick and Lolly looked at each other and stood up. They smiled as they headed up the stairs, leaving Coach Bennett in his peaceful land of dreams.

2

Jete, jete, pas de bouree! Jete, jete, pas de bouree! Jete, jete, pas de bouree! Simms’ voice resonated with the pianist who pounded out a didactic rendition of Chopin. "That’s it, that’s it. Allonge. Stretch it out further. Extend the neck and arms. Chest up. Proud. Reach up. Reach up. Yes. That’s it. Looking good."

The ballerinas were all dressed in black leotards, pink tights, and pink pointe slippers. Some wore wool warmers over their calves, and all had their hair wrapped neatly in braids or a bun snuggled tightly against their heads. Director Simms waltzed by the queue of female dancers facing the mirrored wall, adjusting their arms, legs, and heads as he spoke and corrected any imperfections in form that he detected as he promenaded around the room.

Taking one last survey, he set his jaw and said, That’s it, ladies. That’s enough for today. I’ll see you all tomorrow at the same time. Go home now and get some rest.

The pianist slid her bench under the piano and bowed at Simms as she scurried past him without saying a word. Simms ignored her and yelled out to his daughter, Jenny, as she accompanied the other dancers heading into the dressing room. Jenny. Jenny, come here. I want to visit with you for a minute.

Jenny ended her conversation with a girl named Robin and quickly returned to the center of the studio dance floor to face her father. Douglas Simms had a penchant for being meticulous in the preparation of his dancers, and especially with his daughter, Jenny. Since she had been old enough to walk, he had been grooming her to be an elite ballerina, perhaps one of the greatest dancers of all time.

For as long as she could remember, he had dictated and coordinated her lifestyle around her dancing career. Dancing had been her life, and while other kids watched Walt Disney movies and cartoons, he fed her a steady diet of classical ballet films that featured renowned dancers like Margot Fonteyn, Maria Tallchief, Galina Vlanova, Alicia Makova, and Vera Zorina.

By the time she was ten years old, she glided across the stage like a beautiful butterfly, but no matter how well she danced, her father was always critical of her performance, emphasizing the need for perfection. It’s all about line, technique, and attitude, he would say. You’ve got to be the music in flight, moving as if you and each note is a part of you, and you are a part of it. It is a marriage of two souls—the composer and the dancer on stage—dancing as if you are one.

Jenny strived to be as her father wanted and she felt like a robot being manipulated by commands and exhortations. There was no joy in her movement, only obedience to her father’s will. As a result, she hated dancing and only persisted because she felt she had no other choice. Her contempt for the forced role he had placed upon her made her dancing pedantic and rote with no inspiration or soul.

But then she met Lolly and her whole world was transformed. They had known each other since third grade but had not become friends until the day Jenny had lost her lunch money, and Lolly offered to share her lunch with her. Since that day, they had become best friends, and not a day went by that they didn’t spend as much time together as possible. Their conversations were about everything; their school work and teachers, their parents, boys, problems at home, their dreams and aspirations—everything.

Jenny could still remember the fall day when she began crying as she recalled the difficult week she had in practice and felt she would never please her father. She told Lolly she hated dancing and was ready to give up. But then, Lolly put her arm around her and began to pray softly, and it was during that prayer that Jenny suddenly became aware of God’s presence and how her dancing was an expression of God’s love. From that moment on, she became a different person and a different dancer. She was no longer dancing with just the composer and his music; she was dancing with God and she could feel his pleasure in every move she made.

Her dancing became alive and vibrant and overflowed with the joy she felt in knowing God was with her every moment of every day. Her dancing had become a way of expressing her love for God, and when she was on stage, she was sharing that joy and love with the world. Jenny never told her father about that incident, but he knew something had changed and he remarked about the transition he witnessed as she floated across the floor. His criticisms turned to praise as she displayed her discovery in her dance, and he continually remarked that she had elevated her dance to that of the elite.

She slowly paced toward her father, wondering what he wanted to share with her after an extremely rigorous rehearsal. The company was preparing for their upcoming performance of Ravel’s Daphnis and Chloe, in which she would be dancing the primary role of Chloe. She was hoping that he was not wanting to run through some of her routine at that moment. Her body was worn out and she was looking forward to a restful respite with Terry, who she knew was coming any minute.

Yes, Father, what is it?

Simms took her elbow and turned her toward his office as he explained, Well, first of all, I want to say that you looked exquisite on the floor today. Absolutely exquisite. Like a beautiful diamond sparkling in the sun. Just beautiful. He led her into his office and sat her down as he moved to his cluttered desk and poured a steaming hot cup of black coffee into a large white porcelain cup that had the inscription St. Louis Ballet Company on it in dark blue letters. He sat down in the chair and sipped on the steaming coffee after blowing on it several times. "There is something else I want to share with you, and I hope you will