Now I Know I Am Not Alone: A true story of cancer, every-day miracles and hope

By Frank Danza

Frank Danza is an ordinary business executive. As he approached his fiftieth birthday, he lived what many might consider a "charmed" life: great career, happy marriage, two beautiful and talented daughters, and hopes for an early retirement. In the blink of an eye, that life was challenged with an unexpected diagnosis of a rare and deadly cancer. After a deeply spiritual and personal encounter some six years after his diagnosis and surgery, Frank began to wonder how he was able to thus far "beat the odds." Why was he still alive? He realized that he had made some unusual decisions during the course of his life that might hold the answer to his questions. How was it that he decided, against his better judgment, to pursue a career in healthcare consulting at a firm that he never intended to join? Why did he make the unlikely decision to accept a position at a not-for-profit healthcare system where he learned about the cancer that would later invade his body months before it happened? From the surgeon that would eventually save his life? How did he come to develop an unpredictable friendship with a healer who taught him how to be a better husband and father, and that the mind can heal the body and who facilitated his deeply spiritual and personal encounter with our Blessed Mother? In Now I Know I Am Not Alone, Frank Danza makes the compelling case that through divine intervention, he was inspired to make uncanny decisions throughout his life that prepared him for his cancer diagnosis, surgery, and treatment. He shares six specific stories, recounting events in his life that each culminated in what he describes as "miracle-inspired decisions." These everyday miracles led him through a life path that would save his life decades after they began and make him a better husband, father, and friend. The more we learn about his life, the more we come to understand that miracle-inspired decisions don't only happen to Frank; they are gifts offered to all of us. His stories require us all to ponder the profound gift of free will, consider the reality of a superior being, and embrace our innate ability to choose hope over despair even in the most dire of circumstances.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9781644929667

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Now I Know I Am Not Alone

A true story of cancer, every-day miracles and hope

Frank Danza

Copyright © 2019 by Frank Danza

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

To my scores of family and friends and the scores of their family and friends who prayed for me when I needed those prayers the most and for those who continue to pray for me today.

You asked, and He provided. Every second that we pray matters.

Foreword

I recall first meeting Frank Danza and his wife, April, in July of 2000, only several short weeks into my pastorate at St. Mark’s parish, Brooklyn, New York. At that time, it had been brought to my attention on various occasions that there was no signage anywhere around the large Church building indicating the name of the parish. I decided to publicize in the parish bulletin if there might be anyone interested in memorializing such a sign for our Church. The first weekend this request was published in the parish bulletin, both Frank and April made an appointment to see me and stated their desire to sponsor the sign. Our faith community had a name, St. Mark, and the public statement made by the presence of this sign, front and center, was a profound first step in what would become the revitalization of our faith community.

I share this story because it speaks to me regarding the premise of this book, namely to recognize and name, as the sign prominently standing outside the Church, the countless manifestations of God’s love in our lives. What we can often perceive as haphazard isolated events are recognized by the author as one seamless journey of our unique individual lives. In describing the occurrences of our daily lives, coincidence is often simply perceived as chance or luck. Yet an appreciation of the miracles spoken of in this book by the author implies a belief in the deeper intelligence at work, namely God. Carl Jung, the psychologist, developed the concept synchronicity in describing two or more events that are causally unrelated yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner. This meaningful manner by which seemingly unrelated occurrences of our lives are joined is what is known to the Catholic Christian believer as the mystery of the Triune God.

How many times do we ask ourselves, what is that something present within all our lives that’s difficult to understand and impossible to explain? As is spelled out in the pages of this book, that mystery is the presence of God we innately sense as so real yet seemingly always illusive.

A Monday morning quarterback looks back to analyze past isolated events in an attempt to effect change in the future. On the other hand, the person who embraces the mystery understands both yesterday and tomorrow not as fractionalized and disconnected but times of one continuous encounter with the living God, as lived out in the present moment. For Christ Himself is the Alpha and the Omega. All time belongs to Him.

And so, as we are helped to realize in this book, the occurrences in our lives remain unrelated, like individual letters of the alphabet, until the reality of God within allows us to recognize their connectedness, thus joining these letters into complete words that begin to make sense for us.

Rabbi David Zaslow writes that the Hebrew word shalom means something even greater than peace. It speaks of a wholeness within ourselves. A belief that there is a connection to all our comings and goings. They are wondrously linked together.

I know shalom will truly be the gift to all who reflectively read this book: the story of one life now lived with a recognition of the great miracle of God, who makes all things new. From reading this book, I now live life with an even greater conviction that truly with God, all things become possible.

Reverend Monsignor Joseph R. Grimaldi, JCL, VE

Diocese of Brooklyn

Life’s journey is never clear and direct. It can feel like a wandering path that is sometimes filled with wondrous and joyous moments and, at other times, tragic and devastating pitfalls. Out of those tragic events, sometimes an individual develops insights and revelations that can have a profound effect, changing us to the core, giving us an understanding of life that we never experienced.

Our author Frank Danza takes us on such a journey. He shares his life from his humble family upbringing to his ascent to one of the nation’s foremost experts in the field of financial revenue cycle management. I have known Frank the businessman, the entrepreneur, the planner. But this book is not about the career of a man; it is far more personal. In this book, Frank shares with us his personal dreams, aspirations, and plans. But even that only sets the stage for how this intelligent, logical, fact-driven man comes to understand that not all we face can be explained. 

This book is a touching story of a man’s life. Frank allows us to understand how his values and beliefs were established early in life through his close-knit extended Italian family. He shares how he learned the value of hard work while working in the family business. He reveals his deep and strong religious beliefs that are reinforced through the love of his family. He shares the joys in his life, his wife, his children, and his amazing career. Frank also shares his most life-changing event: his fight with cancer.

Frank was diagnosed with advanced renal cell carcinoma. An event that truly changed his life—not for the fight that he endures battling this disease but for how this battle gave him new understandings on how we do not walk alone in this life. He believes that God, or however you define a higher power, watches over us, protects us, and helps us on our journey. Logic, facts, science cannot explain everything. There is so much we do not understand. When life leads us in an unusual direction, we write that off to chance or luck. Frank provides compelling evidence that in his life, there is no chance or coincidence—that everything happens for a reason, that you are in the time and place in your life exactly where and when you should be. He does not dismiss free will, yet Frank makes a compelling argument that every once in a while, God may nudge you to make a decision that you do not understand. Frank holds that these are life’s little miracles, that these miracles happen all the time in everybody’s lives; however, we are too busy to understand or realize they are happening. Through Frank’s battle with his disease and his fortuitous connection with the Healer, Frank has come to realize that God had a plan for his life all along.

Inspiring, moving, and thought-provoking, Frank’s story is a wonderful read. It helps you question what we take for granted every day. I thank Frank for the courage to share such a personal journey and for making us examine what small miracles have shaped our lives that we were simply too preoccupied to recognize.

Mark J. Solazzo

Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer

Northwell Health

Preface

I was visiting John one Wednesday evening. It was the fall of 2017. I was sitting in the armchair right next to his desk; he was seated in his desk chair, facing me with his hands extended over my chest. This was a typical scene whenever I visited John, and he and I had a standing appointment: Wednesday night at six thirty. Almost every Wednesday night.

We were about half the way through our session, and I was resting with my eyes closed. John broke the silence, God wants me to show you how He works. I responded unemotionally, Okay. He then walked in front of me, and we held hands. He began to pray. John closed his eyes, and with absolutely no expression on his face, he became completely quiet. He swayed ever so gently left to right and left again as we faced each other, holding hands. He was standing in front of me while I sat in the same chair I sat in during every visit. What happened next is the most incredible and special thing that has ever happened to me, something I have recalled joyfully every single day since and I am sure I will continue to recall every day for the rest of my life.

John’s face began to change. His cheekbones became higher, and his cheeks became narrowed. His narrowed cheeks came to a small point under his mouth, forming a new chin where a small rounded chin used to exist. His mouth became smaller, and his pursed lips formed a pleasant and easy smile. His eyes became smaller, his skin became perfectly smooth, and his hair became flattened and pushed directly back, as if it were tucked neatly under a veil. The transformation was somewhat like the action that takes place in Michael Jackson’s music video for the song titled Black or White. He was no longer John. I knew that I was looking at Mary. I was looking at our Blessed Mother.

I was mesmerized. She is beautiful. Not like our stereotype of beauty in modern America. She was simply beautiful. Her small eyes were reminiscent of a woman’s eyes with no makeup or eye shadow; but the skin and area around Her eyes were perfect, devoid of the marks and shadows most women seek to cover with the very makeup that makes their eyes look bigger and sometimes brighter. I kept looking at Her smile. It was pleasant; Her lips were together, so I could not see Her teeth. Her mouth was small, and Her smile was so slight that it caused no creases in Her cheeks, yet I knew from Her smile that She loves me very much. I don’t know how long She was present with me, but for some time, I forgot that Her presence was in the same place that John used to stand. I could feel that I was smiling back at Her. I was calm and happy and so very satisfied to be in Her presence. I did not want that moment to end.

Mary continued to gently sway left to right and back again, just like John was doing. I cannot tell you what She was wearing or even if Her body was dressed in John’s clothes. I was so enamored by Her face that I never stopped looking at it. The room was dimly lit, but as Mary swayed left to right, an intensely white light started to show from behind Her neck. It was almost as if the light was trying to hide behind Mary. When She gently shifted to the right, the light appeared from Her left and then disappeared behind Her. When Mary shifted gently to the left, the light appeared again, this time from Her right, and then disappeared behind Her again. This happened over and over and over again. The light was whiter than the whitest light bulb I have ever seen. It was brighter than the sun. Yet as white and bright and pure as the light was, I was able to look right into it as it appeared from behind Mary’s neck, and I did not need to squint, and the light did not hurt my eyes. I was having a great time; it was euphoric. I did not want it to end. I was not scared; I was not wondering at all what was happening or why this was happening. I didn’t care about any of that. If someone told me that the whole experience lasted thirty seconds or that it lasted thirty minutes, I would believe either. Time seemed not to exist as long as I was in Her presence. It was magical. I never experienced anything like it before, or since. Unless I am blessed to be visited by Mary again, I am quite sure that I will never again experience the simple bliss that I felt while in Her presence—at least not in this lifetime.

As suddenly as the bright light began to appear, it ceased to show itself from behind Mary’s neck as She continued to gently sway left to right and back again. Just as in Michael Jackson’s video, only in slow motion, Mary’s simple beauty turned back into John’s familiar face. His eyes were still closed. He was still in prayer. As if he knew that Mary had left my presence, John let go of my hands and took a step away from me. Then John opened his eyes, and my feeling of euphoria slowly faded away. The experience was ended.

There was more to this experience, but that is all I will tell you for now. You will understand the entire experience better once you have gotten to know me and the journey that has been my life. For days and weeks after that experience, I wondered why She chose me to visit. Why then? I had been seeing John for nearly five years. Those thoughts turned into a sense of amazement that I even came to meet John. I thought about John and how he was introduced to me by George. How lucky I was to have met George. How lucky I was that Joe the contractor discouraged us from building a home in Pennsylvania, or I would have never met George. How lucky I was to be alive, and how lucky I was to have met Dr. Mike. There were more how lucky thoughts, then I realized that I was not lucky at all. There is no such thing as luck. I had made a series of decisions over the course of my fifty-five years that led me to the very places that would save my life, that would cause me to spend my Wednesday evenings with John. How could I have thought these decisions were all coincidences? I don’t know how I could have missed it all those years, but once I pieced these decisions together, they changed my view of how much God actually loves us all. Once I pieced them together, I had new hope and understanding about my future and the paths that I will journey going forward; and once I pieced them together, I knew I needed to write it all down because I knew there must be others who have not figured out that there is no such thing as luck. Good or bad, there is no such thing as luck. There are miracles—miracles that inspire our decisions. That is why I had to write this book.

Acknowledgments

I wrote this book because after a deeply spiritual and personal encounter with our Blessed Mother, I came to realize that my life is a story that needed to be told. More precisely, the story of six particular decisions that I made and the life path that those decisions created needed to be shared. My life path is a story of the ordinary and the extraordinary, a story of free will and of choices. It is a story of divine guidance. It is a story about the triumph of hope over despair. It is a story of lessons to be learned not just for me, but for you as well, because it is a story about God’s love, not just for me, but for us all. My story would not be, but for the love and support of so many special people in my life.

I would like to thank my devoted wife, April, and my wonderful daughters, Christina and Madeline. Most of us hope and expect that our families will return the love and devotion that we share with them. When you are severely ill and unable to contribute to your family as they are accustomed and the love and support they give to you is at that time multiplied one-thousand-fold, it is then that you come to realize what love really is. I have experienced that love, and I am eternally grateful.

My life would not be what it is—it would not be at all—without my mom and dad. Through their love,