Saved by the Enemy

By Thelma Merkle

This book is dedicated to all those who have been adopted and gone through similar situations. This is also for those who have adopted children. Each of us is different, yet we share common feelings and situations. Life is a journey that we all must explore and come to our own destination. I believe "fear of the unknown is often worse than the fear at hand." Don't let fear and your past dictate who you become, and don't let it hold you back or become your crutch in life. Let your spirit soar and live to your fullest potential. Remember that our past makes us the person we are today.

Writing this book was very difficult. As a child, I was always taught that we don't talk about what goes on at home. Children's services was the enemy, and we don't tell them anything. Yet here I am, faced with a difficult decision of writing this book or not. Then I found this quote, and it changed my life!

Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free. (Robert Tew)

Thelma Merkle tells the story as she remembers it. It is through the eyes of a child and later an adult. The trauma experienced is not uncommon to many children and families. My hope is that you can see what a child who is adopted goes through and how this can affect them as they grow into adults. Adoption is a lifelong process. This is one example of many, so I encourage you to learn as much as you can about adoptees and their past. I also hope that anyone who is living in a similar situation will see that children's services is not the enemy, and they can help if you let them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781662470691

Book preview

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Saved by the Enemy

Thelma Merkle

Copyright © 2022 Thelma Merkle

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2022

ISBN 978-1-6624-7068-4 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-6624-7069-1 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

The Beginning

Chapter 2

A Time for Change: Foster Care

Chapter 3

Going Home

Chapter 4

The Final Removal

Chapter 5

Moving on My Own

Chapter 6

Starting a Life of My Own

Chapter 7

The Search

Chapter 8

Making Contact With My Father

Chapter 9

Making Contact With My Mother

Chapter 10

The Enemy Strikes Again

Chapter 11

Changes for Thelma

Chapter 12

Saying Goodbye to Birth Father

Chapter 13

The Passing of Birth Mother

Epilogue

This book is dedicated to all those who have been adopted and gone through similar situations. This is also for those who have adopted children. Each of us is different, yet we share common feelings and situations. Life is a journey that we all must explore and come to our own destination. I believe fear of the unknown is often worse than the fear at hand. Don't let fear and your past dictate who you become, and don't let it hold you back or become your crutch in life. Let your spirit soar and live to your fullest potential. Remember that our past makes us the person we are today.

Writing this book was very difficult for me. I was always taught that we don't talk about what goes on at home. Yet here I am, faced with a difficult decision of writing this book or not. Then I found this quote, and it changed my life!

Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free. (Robert Tew)

Introduction

A ppalachia, Ohio, is filled with rolling hills covered with trees that stretch for miles. For some, the scenery is breathtaking and leaves a feeling of tranquility and relaxation. For the Merkle children, these woods remind them of the home where they lived as infants and small children. It also reminds them of memories of being together not only as a family but also as siblings. It has good memories, yet it also bears memories of unspeakable acts—acts which no human, let alone children, should ever endure.

The Merkle family lived in a very rural area of Ohio outside the town called Woodsfield. Woodsfield is in the southeastern part of Ohio. It is also in the Appalachian and Allegheny Mountains, which borders West Virginia. The Merkle family members were very much Appalachian people. They were poor and struggled to live day to day. They were also a family who did not like to receive help from other people. Receiving help was a sign of weakness. The Merkles were not weak by any means. They would prove to be extraordinarily strong and enduring, each in their own way.

This story begins in the early 1970s. Frank Merkle and his wife, Helen Merkle, lived in a small house beside Helen's family. The family owned over one hundred acres, which had been passed down for generations. Helen's family were traditionally farmers and hard workers.

Most of this land was forest and hills. The scene included rolling hills and valleys. The place where Frank and Helen lived consisted of open areas with lots of room for children to run and play. It was ideal to raise four small children.

Helen's mother, father, brother, and sister lived next door on the same property. Frank and Helen had four daughters: Cora, Danielle, Denise, and Thelma. Cora was the oldest and Thelma the youngest. Thelma recounts this story. For the privacy of the sisters, Thelma does not specifically name her sisters in certain traumatic events. The names have also been changed to protect the identity of the people involved in this book.

Chapter 1

The Beginning

M y first memories begin when I was about four years old and lived in the same house with my three sisters, mother, and father. Our home had five rooms and was built in the 1950s. It was bigger than it looked from the outside. It had a basement and a living room and dining room and a sunroom downstairs and two bedrooms upstairs. We had an upstairs that the four girls slept in. We had no beds, just blankets on the floor. We had no dressers, so we often slept on piles of clothes. It was more comfortable than the hardwood floor. The upstairs was a loft. You went upstairs, and there was a large room where we slept. Off that was mother and father's room. In the downstairs, there was a kitchen off to the right as you walk in the front door. The outside door opened into the living room. The stairs were off to the left of the door. The living room had a potbellied woodburning stove. Past the living room was a room used for laundry despite the fact we did not have a washer or a dryer. Then there was a bathroom.

Our home was not dirty. There were no bugs or rodents in the home. There were no holes in the walls or floors. My father made sure that the home was clean and was good at repairing things. He was obsessive about the house being neat and clean. That often would lead to some of the frustration between my mother and father.

My first memories, I was not in school yet. My three older sisters went to school, and I always had to stay home. That was okay at times because I got to watch the Rocky and Bullwinkle show. I would sit and drink my coffee with creamer and sugar just like an adult. We did not have much food, so coffee was often my breakfast. I did not mind because it tasted good to me. I would ask my mother why I could not go to school. She would tell me that I could go someday soon. My mother was quiet and never really said much. It was probably because, when she did talk, my father was telling her to shut up and threatening to hurt her, or at times, he even threatened to kill her. My days at home were not so good when my father would decide to get drunk or high and beat my mother. The hitting always made my stomach hurt. It made me mad and sad all at once. I was so glad when my sisters would come home from school. I think I was happier that they came home than they were to be there.

My father would take our money and buy beer so he could get drunk or buy paint to huff to get high. Then we would have no food. I remember one time a church came to our house and gave us a big box of food. I believe it was around Christmas because they brought dolls and candy canes for me and my sisters. We were so excited about the dolls, but the food was something that we never saw a lot of at one time. I remember holding the cans up and looking at the labels and how good the food on the label looked. I smacked my lips together and said, Mm, good. I wanted to eat everything all at once. My mother told me she would cook something and to wait. It is hard to wait when your stomach is growling, especially seeing all this food! We were like rich people at that moment. My mother was cooking us dinner, and I decided that I was old enough to help her. After all, I was about four years old! She gave me a sharp knife, and I was