Silent Love

By Edna Lacy

This photo taken in late 2018 gives evidence of a God who has power to show us His love and to save and heal us.

Bruce is now sixty years old and does many things that doctors said he would never be able to do. He is greatly loved by all his family and he returns that love in many ways. His life shared with me, my sister, and her husband and all of our children gives him a complete family.

Silent Love shows that with God, there is a solution, even for the most difficult problems in life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781648016615

Book preview

1

Another Beginning

Sometimes I find myself sitting quietly, staring out the window of my small brick home in Arlington, Texas, wondering how I ever ended up here. The warm sunshine and green trees make this another beautiful fall weekend. Flowers are still in bloom in front of the holly and gardenia bushes. How could I be thirty-six years old and still not know with certainty who I am, what I should be doing, and where I belong? I thought I knew, but I’ve been so wrong before.

Only sixteen years ago, I married George and moved from Iowa to Austin, Texas, where he had resided several years. It seems like only yesterday that I was laughing as I cleaned the rice from the suitcases and unpacked our belongings. We were wrapped up in each other and so happy.

Being of German ancestry, George was sociable, sharp-witted, often telling the latest joke or testing his friends with a real mind-bender and very frugal with his money. He was not the tall, dark, handsome type, but he had a strong muscular physique and a deep Texas tan that set off his brown hair and hazel eyes. He was the type of person that I thought I would always be safe and secure with.

Our first home was a pale-yellow stucco duplex. George had thoroughly cleaned and even painted the inside and sprayed it completely before David and I arrived. Yet, with an unconcerned landlady living in the duplex above, the roaches could not be completely exterminated. George had placed the food and dishes in plastic containers. I was so glad that he hated the roaches as much as I did.

I think we should start looking for a house to buy, George commented.

But, George, we just got unpacked. I don’t know anything about this town or where any of your friends live. Besides that, you just got this place cleaned up and painted, and it’s a convenient location. I felt uneasy about having to help find a house in a totally strange town.

You’d be just as close to a grocery store any place else as you are here. I think David should have a yard to play in, and I’d like to have a little garden. You won’t have any trouble making friends in a nice neighborhood.

Well, right now, I would like to just go for a nice ride and not have to think about moving again so soon.

There’s a place I’d like you to see. It’s not too far from town, and I think you’d like it. It’s a swimming hole with a waterfall that pours into it. You can be thinking about a house while we’re driving around the countryside.

We piled into the car and started for the place known as Hamilton Pool. George was proud of Texas. His loyalty to his native state seemed an admirable quality, even though he did verbally flaunt it a bit too much at times. We finally arrived at Hamilton Pool, and it was well-worth the long drive.

I wish the whole world could see this place. It’s so lovely. My spirit seemed to drink in the beauty of the water cascading from a high, rocky ridge into the clear, bluish pool below. The vegetation above and around the pool was lush and green. Cypress trees seemed to guard the creek that spilled from the pool and meandered through the deep ravine. The sunlight shone down on the pool of water and made a rainbow dance about the water as it fell and hit the huge rocks below. I could hardly believe how beautiful it all was.

The rest of the world probably wouldn’t see it as you do, Mary. It is pretty, though. I brought my camera so I can take some pictures of it and you and David.

The three of us had such a good time taking pictures, swimming, and sharing good food and laughter that we hated to see the day come to an end.

Our next major outing was house hunting. George had already done some preliminary investigating into the house market We drove out to the south side of town. He stopped the car in front of a new, antique white brick house. Walking through the house, I liked it as much as George did, so it was easy to give in to his insistence that we buy the house and move into it immediately.

Once we got moved into the house and fairly settled down, George started suggesting that we should start thinking about having a baby. I was so surprised that I could hardly believe he was serious about the matter.

Don’t you think that could wait a few months? It would be nice if we could get ahead financially and be able to enjoy life for a while before I get pregnant. It’s not that I don’t want a baby right away, but I’d just like to spend some time doing things with you and David. I worked the whole time I was married before, so I’ve never really had time to play and do things with David. I think he needs some time that just the three of us can get acquainted and enjoy each other.

David is part of the reason I think you should get pregnant right away. If he’s going to have a little brother or sister that is close enough to his age to be a playmate for him, you really should try getting pregnant now. Who knows? It might take you several weeks or months.

What a joke! All it takes is one time for me! I laughed, but I was serious. That night, I made a mental note of the very date that I got pregnant. I loved George enough that I really didn’t mind giving in to his every desire. I was even fairly happy about the prospect of becoming a mother for the second time. I tried to make friends quickly, so when a neighbor asked me to help at Vacation Bible School, I said that I would. I even volunteered to play the piano for a simple song that would be sung at the closing program at the end of the second week. For me, that was an accomplishment as I did not play the piano well, and trying to do so in front of other people made me very nervous.

Because of my apprehension about playing before others, I thought that the queasy feeling within me on that last night of school was just from being nervous. When I awoke the next morning, I felt worse and looked terrible. George was already outside talking to a neighbor. I stepped outside and called to him.

Mary, what’s happened to you? Arlene asked as she came toward me.

I don’t know. I didn’t feel too good last night, and I woke up looking like this. My face was swollen, red, and blotchy.

You’d better call a doctor right away. Have you ever had measles?

I think so.

With living on Air Force bases for a long time, I have seen what measles can do to the baby if the mother has them while she is in the early stages of pregnancy. George, I think you’d better call a doctor and take her in to see him right away, she suggested.

George called the obstetrician who said that what George described sounded like a virus and advised for me to go to bed; and if I wasn’t better the next day, to call him again.

My divorced sister and her two little boys were due to arrive in Austin on a flight from Iowa that afternoon. It was too late to call and tell her to cancel her plans to come and visit us. George went to the airport by himself to pick them up. By the time he, Beth, and the children drove up to the house, I was much worse. I was running a high fever and had a light rash on my neck and chest.

Beth, I’m so glad you’re here, but you’ll probably wish that the three of you hadn’t come. I’ve got a freaky virus or something.

George busied himself with unloading the suitcases from the car and helping Beth with the boys. I went back to bed and left the two of them to take care of the three boys and cook supper.

The next day, I was even worse. George, please call the doctor and tell him that I need to see him today.

George called, but the doctor put him off again with the flimsy excuse that I simply had a harmless virus.

Beth, what do you think? I asked through tears.

I think your doctor is a poor excuse for an obstetrician, she answered with disgust.

He came highly recommended, George declared nervously.

I don’t care how highly recommended he was. He’s not fit to be a doctor if he won’t even see his patient. I think you ought to call another doctor. Mary is sick and she’s pregnant, so there’s two lives at stake now!

By midafternoon, I was too sick to know what was going on around me. With a high fever, I slept for hours and hours. It was the next day when I finally woke up and the third day of being very ill.

George, call that doctor again. If he won’t come to the house to see me, get another doctor. I feel so horrible that I don’t feel like I can sit up to go to his office, and I’m really worried. I thought of the baby I was carrying and began to cry.

George told the doctor that I was too ill to bring to his office, so later that day, the doctor finally came to see me. I hardly realized what was being done or said. The doctor told George that I had the symptoms of Echo Virus, a new virus going around that was similar to measles but basically harmless. He assured us that it would not cause damage to our unborn child. He told me to stay in bed a few more days and that I would be fine.

A major flaw in George’s character began to come to the surface; he despised being around sick people. Whoever was going to be happy with him had better be healthy and able to keep up with his pace or suffer the consequences; even his wife who was pregnant with the baby he had insisted that I have as soon as possible.

Beth had planned to spend a month with us, so it worked out that she had come at the right time. Her being there was a tremendous help to me, and David enjoyed having his two cousins to play with. But her presence affected George in such a way that one would never have guessed that he had a very sick wife. He acted as though he were a happy bachelor without a care in the world.

After several days, David, Rick, and Andy began one by one to break out with a light rash. They did not become sick enough to stay in bed; they hardly wanted to stop playing. The rash began on their faces and necks and worked out onto their arms and down the trunks of their bodies, just as it had on me. Yet the illness they had hardly compared to the severity of mine. By the time the third boy’s rash was going away, I was back to normal, and it was time for Beth to return to Iowa. The month had seemed to go quickly, considering all the sickness.

A few days later, after George, David, and I had returned to Austin, the telephone rang; I was surprised to hear Beth’s voice.

Guess what? she exclaimed. I’ve got the ‘creeping crud’ or whatever this rash is. Mom and Dad insisted that I go to my doctor, and he said that I have German Measles. You’d better call that doctor of yours and ask him if anything can be done for you and your baby.

I can already guess what he’ll say, but I will call as soon as we hang up.

My guess was accurate. The doctor said that my sister was mistaken and that there was nothing to worry about. George said that we should rely on our own doctor’s decision, so I tried not to think about it.

We started having company from out of town almost every weekend for the next three months, except for two or three weekends. George insisted on taking trips to various parts of Texas on those weekends. Labor Day weekend, I became extremely ill with nausea and vomiting.

Friends dropped by to visit, and I could not sit up and talk for more than a few minutes before I had to vomit. Because I did not realize that this was nature’s way of beginning to abort that which was defective, I asked George to call the doctor and get something to stop the vomiting.

And tell that doctor that I need something now, not three days from now! If I wasn’t so sick, I’d get up and call him myself.

George talked to the doctor and then went to the drugstore and got the prescription for me. The suppositories stopped the vomiting. In a few days, I was back to my normal household routine. I never did feel really good again during the pregnancy, so George helped me with such things as scrubbing and waxing the floors and taking out the garbage. He even bought the groceries for me fairly often. I truly believed that he was doing these chores as labors of love, but I was so naive. It was several years later before I realized why he had done many of the things that he did.

George had several good friends in Austin. They were guys he had gone to college with and related to closely via his ham radio. Most of them were married, and I was in hopes that I would be given a chance to become a friend to their wives. Except for the weekend that I was so sick, the only ones who came to visit were fellow hams, and they came without their wives. I concluded that the wives thought that they were in a social class above me, so I was most grateful for the friendship that developed with a non-ham friend and his wife. John and Martie were loving, kind, and true friends. They treated me and David with a warmth that I had not felt since I left Iowa.

George liked his job as an engineer at the state capitol, but he felt there was little chance of getting ahead financially if he were to keep working there. When he heard that a leading missile and space company was hiring engineers in Denver, Colorado, he sent them a resume applying for a job. The company asked him to come to Denver for a personal interview. When he returned to Austin two days later, he told me that he had accepted the job offered to him.

We’ve got two weeks to sell the house and be moved to Denver, he informed me.

Oh, that’s great! That means we have to not only sell the house, but we’ll have to get everything packed and ready to move in less than two weeks. It actually gives us a little over one week to do all of that because it’ll take a couple of days to drive up there and at least that long to find a place to live. And here I am, six-and-a-half months pregnant! I don’t know how I’ll hold up with all the work to be done and then make that long trip.

We’ll just have to list the house with a realtor and put the furniture in storage until we find a house to live in. We’ll rent a furnished apartment or house and just take the necessities that we’ll need to get by until we can find a house to buy or have one built.

George always had a quick answer to cover whatever he wanted to do.

I guess you’re right. We can manage by doing it that way.

I’m always right, he answered.

I smiled and thought he was just being facetious. He smiled back but with such a confident look as to say again that he really believed that he was always right.

We packed all that we could get into the car of the bare necessities needed for housekeeping and headed toward Colorado. David was an excellent traveler, and I was feeling fine, so the trip went well. George was used to putting as many miles behind him in a day as he possibly could, so by evening, we were in Denver. It was getting dark, and the snow was beginning to fall, but we were so glad to have arrived safely that we seemed unaware of our extreme fatigue.

Since it’s just two days before Christmas, I think we should call your folks, wish them a Merry Christmas, and let them know that we arrived safely, George offered. Then we’ll get something to eat and a place to sleep and wait until tomorrow to start looking for a place to live.

The next morning, he circled a couple of apartment for rent ads in the paper, and we started off toward the south side of town. Being ignorant of our true financial situation, I went along with renting an inexpensive basement apartment. I knew that George would want to buy a house if he liked his new job; therefore, the basement apartment would be temporary.

We unpacked our clothes, linens, dishes, and other small things we had brought in our car. Then we went to the grocery store. There was a large store nearby. We had to buy a lot of groceries, so our basket was piled high when we rolled it up to the checkout counter.

Will you take an out of town check? he asked the checker.

I’m sorry, sir, the checker apologized, but I can’t take your check.

George was furious. I’ll have you know that my check has never been refused anywhere! My checks were accepted even in Japan where I was stationed while I was in the Air Force.

I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t take your check. That’s our store policy, he apologized.

Keep your groceries then! George yelled as he shoved the basket aside.

George, please, I pleaded, we need the groceries, and I don’t feel up to going through this again. I was so embarrassed and overwhelmed at his behavior.

I don’t care! he exclaimed loudly. If my check is no good, neither are their groceries! Go get in the car!

I took David by the hand and quickly departed from the store with George following right behind me, muttering and cursing all the way. I was in tears by the time we got to the car.

I’m not going through a scene like that again. Next time, I’ll just wait in the car with David while you get the groceries.

George found a store that would take his check, he bought the groceries, and we went back to our apartment. He felt justified by his actions, but I felt miserable and ashamed for him.

I was used to getting by on very little, so we lived comfortably in spite of the inconveniences. The basement apartment was often chilly, though, and rather gloomy because the few windows were quite small, so it was nice to get outside whenever the weather was warm enough.

David and I often walked to the library two blocks away. It gave us both a chance to be in a cheerful atmosphere while George was at work, plus the walk was good exercise. I concentrated on reading books concerning prenatal care and natural childbirth. The birth of David had been difficult, mainly due to my ignorance and fear. Through knowledge, I hoped to overcome fear and thus have a natural delivery of my second child.

Through friends of my parents, I got the name of a general physician who would take care of me during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. Dr. N did not seem concerned when I became ill with the flu two weeks before the baby was due. My parents called to see how I was getting along, and when I told them I had flu, they were very concerned. I told them that the doctor had said that the baby was so small that he didn’t think I would have him for at least two or three more weeks.

We don’t think you should be alone during the day. Beth had the flu, complications developed, and she had Andy two weeks early. If it’s all right with you and George, we’ll plan on coming out there as soon as we can get things squared away here and get our suitcases packed.

You know you’re welcome anytime you come and for as long as you can stay, I assured them. I had been worried about who would take care of David while I was in the hospital, so this was the perfect solution.

Time slipped by quickly, and it wasn’t long before my parents arrived. It was so pleasant having them with us. They had a way of making life so much more enjoyable and comfortable.

Dad was an energetic, ingenious jack of all trades. His height and looks were average, but he had beautiful blue eyes that seemed to sparkle. Because our basement apartment was so cold most of the time, he insisted that George help him rig the wiring to the furnace so we could get more heat.

My mother was a small woman with dark-brown hair and brown eyes. She was the Nurse Jane type, so it was easy for her to step in and cook the foods and do the things that she believed would help me get well faster.

In a few days, I was well and able to be up and about in spite of my enormous size.

Sis, do you think you’d feel up to going out to supper tonight? Dad asked with a happy