Insufferable

By Renaye Coles

Marlowe answered his phone, "MD." "Is this Marlowe?" the caller asked. "Yes," he answered. "This is Belle. I work with Doc, he said he can see you next Thursday, at noon. The cost is fifty dollars." Marlowe was silent for a few seconds. He still needed to convince Alva it was the right thing to do; but he didn't want to put it off any longer. Sighing, he said to Belle, "Tell Doc next Thursday, is good. We'll be there at noon." Hanging up the receiver, Marlowe thought, ‘That's done, and he didn't give a damn about Alva's hysteria when he told her his plan. There was no way she was keeping this baby.' Turning his calendar to Thursday, February 9, 1941 he wrote Doc at noon and circled it. Alva had no choice but to obey him. He had called Doc the same day she told him she was pregnant. There was no changing his mind. Insufferable author, Rai Standifer, tells the story of three beautiful teenage girls: Alva, Bea, and Annie. Growing up in Detroit, their lives intertwine with the handsome debonair married florist, twenty five-year-old Marlowe Dulaine. He cultivates their hearts with his silver tongue, err-resistible charm, skillful love-making and secrets. He passionately pursued them, mind, body, and soul. With sweet surrender Marlowe steals their hearts, their innocence, their joy! Life for them becomes Insufferable. Although fiction, Insufferable' life-line, comes from stories Annie shared with her daughter, Tony Rai. Stories about her teenage years raised in a Christian home by her father, Reverend Oden and his sister, her beloved Mother Sims with her two older brothers, Oden Jr. and Vernon. Insufferable written as a tribute to Annie is for the young and hopeful millennials, and all others who believe true love never fails, it prevails. To those unsung remarkable women and men who by the love and grace of God have found the strength to overcome the pain and suffering of abusive love, Insufferable celebrates you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 22, 2019
• ISBN: 9781642144314

Book preview

cover.jpg

Insufferable

Standifer

Copyright © 2019 Standifer

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2019

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, localities, and incidents are either the products of the author’s creative imagination or used in a ‘fictitious’ manner.

ISBN 978-1-64214-430-7 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64214-431-4 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Foreword

Abusive love is not love!

Lying face down in my own blood pool, my body numb I waited for death to come; from a place deep within me, perhaps my soul, I prayed: Father, if it be your will, let me live. I want to live so I can raise my two little girls. God answered my prayer! I lived to raise my two girls, Kat and Tony two amazing women. Tony wrote Insufferable. The memory of that un-imaginable night I was left for dead at the hands of my husband, L, who professed to love me haunted me to my death!

Oh! How often I have thought about my heart’s first true love, Roland Prince. When our eyes locked at my sweet, sixteen birthday party, I knew we were meant for each other. I imagined we would marry and spend our life together in wedded bliss. Mother Sims, daddy and my two brothers liked him too. His grandmother, Mattie Prince was Mother Sims best friend. Everyone attending my birthday party commented we were a cute couple. Everyone except Gussie, the reason our love our life together was interrupted; the reason I fell into a deep depression.

I cried a billion tears! My heart ached throughout my life over the mental and physical abuse my beautiful cousin Bea, and the lovely and fragile Alva endured for years because of the arrogance of Marlowe Dulaine to defile ‘forbidden fruit.’

After Bea’s pregnancy, the family suspected Marlowe was her well-kept secret. Her mother Violet had, begin, to put the puzzle pieces together. Reflecting on the numerous times Bea supposedly worked overtime, and her none interest in James, a wonderful young man from Church of God, or any other guy seeking her attention. Violet had seen Bea’s face light-up when Marlowe visited her at their home. She also saw Bea push a little jewelry box Marlowe handed her into her bathrobe pocket; as she entered the living-room. She had prayed for Bea and she knew it would take the power of God to free her from Marlowe’s spell. Little did I know Marlowe’s conceit would force me into his web of lies, deception, abuse and death! When you finish reading my story, Insufferable, you may find it’s familiar to your story! With faith in God, a lot of prayers, and a strong desire, you can live the life you imagine. I applaud your courage. Go find your peace!

From Heaven’s Gate,

Annie!

Annie age 25

Acknowledgements

Insufferable! Would not be complete without the love, support, and prayers of family and friends who believe as I believe that Annie’ story of abusive love should be told.

I am inspired by this amazing group of agape loving people, who choose, to live quiet lives, seeking no attention for themselves. However! In this instance, I must recognize them, they carry my heart!

Winston, Annie Mae’, Windy, Andre’, Sydni, Brian, Rayna, Aubree, Dorian, Brenda K., Angie H. and Carol S. in LA. E. Carol C., Verna K. Catherine C., Leon and Kita, Harold and Faith, Polly (PJ), Letha C. (deceased). Margo C., Gail Z. SJC and The Peaceful Waters Pillars!

To the larger than life supremely celebrated personalities whose phenomenal body of work energized me to reach beyond what I could see; seeing things that are not as if they were. I Thank You!

Miss Oprah Winfrey, Miss Ava DuVernay, and Mr. Tyler Perry.

Annie! My hearts’ twin, my greatest inspiration, my mother. Allowing me to tell your story will help others to rise- up, more than a conqueror! Thank You!

Rai Standifer

Part 1

Secret Lover

I reveal myself to him in visions, I speak to him in dreams.

—Numbers 12:6

Annie was having that dream again—a dream that, as terrifying and strange as it may sound, comforted her. The dream terrified her because it seemed real. She would wake up from the dream and begin to experience her worst fears—her body being ravaged by an unseen being that professed enduring love as it forcibly had its way with her.

After being scared to near death, the experience would then change with a soft command, My beloved! Be still! Immediately the evil force would release her and disappear, and she was comforted. Embraced by the sensation of pure love, she felt safe and desired to give back the flawless love she had received. It was powerful but unexplainable to anyone. One minute she fought for her life against an unnatural being that quickly disappeared and she found comfort in the soft whispers repeating; "My beloved! My beloved! Peace be still! Peace be still!

The first dream came two days before her sixteenth birthday. Annie never forgot it. She was so excited about all the plans being made. The family would come to dinner, and oh, how she wished he would come too. He had no idea how much she fantasized about the two of them. He was always cordial to her when he saw her, never knowing he was her secret lover. She would have to find a way to ask Mother Georgia if Roland Prince was coming to her party without making her suspicious of anything.

A Sister’s Love

The elder women shall teach the young women to be teachers of good things, to love their husbands, to love their children.

—Titus 2:3–4

Mother Georgia Sims was Annie’s aunt. She was her father’s, Elder Oden Williams’s, older sister by two years. Annie’s mother had died when she was eighteen months old from complications at childbirth. The child, a boy, was stillborn. Soon after, Mother G, the name everyone called her by, and her son, Robert, moved in with her brother, Oden, and his children, Annie and her two older brothers, Oden Jr. and Vernon. At that time, Oden was a traveling preacher. He and his sister agreed it would be better if his children had a woman to help raise them and provide a stable Christian home environment while tending to their day to day needs and schooling.

Mother G was pleased her brother Oden provided the love and stability her teenage son Robert needed. Her husband Robert Sims left their home ten years earlier, leaving her to raise Robert Jr., who was three years old, alone. She wanted to do all she could to help her younger brother raise his three children. That’s what family did—help each other. Robert, now thirteen, was like a big brother to Oden Jr., six, and Vernon, five.

Everyone was talking about how Mother G fussed over two-year-old Annie, calling her the little girl Georgia always hoped for. Whatever the reason, Mother G loved that little gal. She also appreciated the love and fatherly guidance her brother shared with her son.

Mother G was a tall, big-bosom woman who worked as hard as any man. She was darker than her brother with larger facial features. Her deep dark eyes seemed to look through a person. She had full lips that spread across the bottom of her face, and when she smiled, which was not often, she made a pretty picture. She and her brother had the same mother but different fathers. Her father was a Negro. Most of the kinfolk said Mother G looked like her father but had her mother’s, beautiful raven hair, which she kept braided all week and pulled back in a bun every Sunday. Annie loved to help her brush it every night before she went to bed. It was so beautiful even though it was starting to turn grey.

Mother G called Annie her good girl. She wanted her special sixteenth birthday to be filled with family, friends, and all Annie’s favorite foods: fried chicken, baked chicken and dressing, green beans and white potatoes, spinach with sliced hard-boiled eggs, macaroni and cheese, potato salad, homemade Parker House yeast rolls, fried peach pies, fried perch and catfish, candied sweet potatoes, and mustard and collard greens with hot water cornbread. The butter was already softening for her famous banana birthday cake, which was Annie’s choice. Mother G was also making a five-layer chocolate cake. There would be apple pies and peach cobbler too. Her son, Robert, now twenty-seven and married, promised to make homemade vanilla ice cream. And Miss Mildred, Mother G’s neighbor and long-time friend from church, was making her special lemonade and sweet iced tea.

Annie’s white lace birthday dress with little pink roses around the jewel neckline looked like a wedding dress hanging on the back of her bedroom door. Miss Ida had made it for her. It was so beautiful. She liked the feel of the rose satin sash as she lightly brushed it across her tiny hand. She took her dress off the pink satin hanger, pressing it close to her petite body, imagining it was her wedding dress.

Looking at her petite image in the big oval mirror on her dresser, she felt all grown up. Grown up enough to wear the primrose lip rouge her seventeen-year-old cousin Bea had given her. Bea told her to rub a little on her cheeks too—it would look pretty.

Everyone always said Annie looked just like her mother, Miss Ivy, but her light complexion was from her father, Oden, who got it from his white father. Annie never knew her grandparents on either side. She always thought it was funny how she and her brothers looked alike, except they had their mother’s dark complexion. Miss Ivy’s mother was part Indian, and her father was mixed race too.

Laying her dress across her bed, she turned back to her mirror. Picking up her silver hairbrush, she began to brush her sandy-brown wavy hair into an upsweep hairdo. Bea had told her an upsweep hairstyle was how the picture stars fixed their hair when they wore those fancy party dresses.

Aunt Viola, daddy’s youngest sister, cleaned house for the Stein family, a Jewish family who lived in Bloomfield Hills. Mrs. Stein would let Aunt Viola take home their old Life magazines. Bea loved to look at the pictures of the famous people—what they wore, their hairdos, and how their houses looked. She told Annie, You as pretty as any of those women in the magazine. Bea’s primrose lip rouge had come from Mrs. Stein too.

Bea was right; she liked her hair up. One time, when she and Bea were looking at old family pictures, she saw one of her mother with a white gardenia pinned in her hair. Her mother looked like an Indian princess. She was so beautiful. Shaking her head, as if to give herself approval, Annie decided she wanted a white gardenia for her hair.

Cousin Bea worked Saturdays at Marlowe’s Florist shop. Smiling sheepishly, Annie knew Bea, as always, would come through with a gardenia for her hair.

Picking her dress up from the bed, Annie passed by her bedroom window. Oh, sweet Jesus! she yelled out. There he was, Roland Prince, her secret love, across the street, sitting on Miss Mildred’s porch and talking to her husband, Mr. Leroy. Annie thought her heart would burst through her chest as she stood staring at him from her bedroom window behind the sheer white and pink curtain with tiny white dots, thinking to herself, He is so handsome, like the movie star, Clark Gable. Bea had showed her his picture in a magazine. He was in this big-time movie, Gone with the Wind. The article said he was the King of Hollywood. Well, Roland Prince was king of her heart, her very own Clark Gable.

Roland, at seventeen, was almost six feet tall. He was not light skinned like Daddy, but he wasn’t dark like her brothers. He was like caramel. His hair was dark and curly. His eyes were dark too with thick eyebrows. His pug nose was so cute; it fit his face just like his full lips. One Sunday, he sat across from Annie at church, and she just couldn’t stop looking at him—just like now. Still holding her beautiful birthday dress, Annie pressed it against her body and softly whispered, I’m Mrs. Roland Prince.

What you looking at so hard? were the words that broke her magic moment. I just bet you were staring at that Roland. The minute I saw him across the street, I figured you’d be somewhere watching.

What are you doing in my room, Emery? Annie shouted at her cousin. Why are you so worried about what I’m doing all the time? You ain’t supposed to be coming in my bedroom. I’m telling Mother G.

Yeah! Well, I’ve got something to tell her too. Like how you always sniffing around that old bighead, Roland Prince! See what she has to say about her ‘good girl’ then.

She won’t say nothing, Annie yelled back, ’cause what you’re saying ain’t true. You just a big o’ liar, and you better get out of my room. I’m tired of you, Emery, always sneaking up on me. Get out of my room right now, Emery! Or I’ll start screaming!

Moving toward the bedroom door, Emery smirked and said, Scream all you want to, I don’t care. I will come in your room whenever I please, Miss Prissy. You can’t stop me! You’ll see, he said slamming the door behind him.

I hate you! I hate you! were the words Emery heard as he walked out of Annie’s bedroom. He spoils everything, Annie thought to herself as she hurried back to the window. Her heart sank in her chest. Roland was gone.

Kinfolk

The Lord will take a stand for me against evildoers.

—Psalm 94:16

Emery Bolden was Annie’s least favorite cousin. He had moved to Detroit from Georgia hoping to get a factory job. His mother, Aunt Pearl Bolden, was her father and Mother G’s first cousin. Pearl wrote to Mother G about some trouble Emery had gotten in back home in Rome, Georgia. He was twenty years old and didn’t listen to her anymore. He was smoking and drinking and running with a wild crowd. She thought he would do better living with them in Detroit under Daddy’s supervision and Mother G spiritual care, with the understanding that he would have to work and pay his way and attend regular church services.

Before coming, Emery tried to join the army, but Mother G said cousin Pearl told her Emery couldn’t join the army because he was, classified, 4F—he didn’t qualify. A few days after Thanksgiving, Emery moved to Detroit to live with them. That was four months ago.

At first, he seemed nice. Oden Jr. and Vernon were quickly impressed with him drinking alcohol, smoking, and talking about fast women. They hung on to his every word. Annie saw them together once, shooting dice and drinking liquor behind the house, when Mother G went to deliver a baby. Her brothers loved being around him.

Oden, nineteen, and Vernon, eighteen, had not been exposed to the things Emery talked about. They had girlfriends, but they were good church girls. She had never known them to smoke or drink, but Emery was encouraging them, telling them they were men—they could do as they pleased.

Emery did get a job at the Ford Motor Company working midnights. He paid his room and board, and when he was home, he had no problem going to church with the family on Sunday morning. To Mother G and Daddy, he was doing everything they asked. He wasn’t any trouble to them, and the brothers loved him but Annie never trusted him. She didn’t like the way he always watched her, and she hated his smoke-and-liquor breath.

He was twenty years old, but he looked older. He was dark skinned with a muscular body, and the girls at church liked him. They thought he was handsome, and they loved his dark, straight, good hair and his hazel eyes knocked them out. With his keen nose and small lips, Annie admitted he was handsome. Even Bea called him good looking. Mother G always said the whole Bolden family were good-looking people; not an ugly one in the bunch.

Emery always showed respect to the women at the Church of God, giving them compliments that would keep them grinning for days. But still, Annie didn’t trust him. She hated those days when Mother G would do the shopping, pay bills, or visit the sick, leaving her alone in the house with Emery. Her brothers both worked afternoons at the Ford plant. They were gone when Emery got up. He could have worked afternoons too, but he took the midnight job. Vernon said it was so he could cabaret all night Friday and Saturday at the after-hour juke joints. She heard he was a great dancer. But she didn’t care what he was good at. She knew she didn’t like him calling Roland names, and she wished he didn’t live with them.

My Beloved

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him.

—Deuteronomy 33:12

Annie was fretfully tossing and turning in her sleep. What was going on? Why did she feel so afraid? Something was in her bed, wrestling with her, pinning her down as it lifted itself on top of her body. She struggled to free her hands, but the unseen attacker’s grip was too strong. Trapped in her bed, the room was dark and cold. Tossing her head from side to side, she tried hard to force his hand and stale, vile breath away from her mouth as he declared his love and desire to have her. She felt his weight on her as he tried to part her legs. She felt his rough hands and long, hard fingernails pulling at her nightgown, trying to rip it away. She tried to scream out, but his hand was over her mouth as his hot tongue licked her tears. He made animal-like sounds, and she wasn’t sure if he was a human. She tried to escape his grip but to no avail. She felt his hand pulling on her panties. She struggled with him, begging him to stop, stop! In a harsh voice he responded, No! No! You belong to me; you are mine.

Annie believed him. She was defenseless against him. Suddenly, she heard a voice, in the darkness whispering softly, My beloved, be still, be still!

Immediately, the invader released her, leaping from her bed disappearing as quickly as it came. Sitting straight up in her bed, Annie turned on her bedside table lamp. Everything looked in place.

Jumping out the bed, she ran to see herself in the big dresser mirror. Nothing about her seemed out of place. Her brown paper-bag hair curlers were still in place under her blue satin sleep cap. Her gown and panties weren’t ripped. Her closet door was closed, and the bedroom door was closed. There were no signs that anyone was in the bedroom.

She didn’t care about that because the attack was real. It was real! She didn’t understand it, and she was terrified. Leaving the light on, she snuggled deep into the center of her bed. Pulling the covers over her head, she prayed for sleep to come. In the stillness of the night, she felt the presence of love comforting her, keeping her safe, as she once again heard the voice whisper in her ear, My beloved! Peace Be Still. And she slept.

The aroma of bacon and fresh coffee brewing filled the upstairs hallway. Annie heard Mother G calling from downstairs, Everybody up, breakfast is ready, come get it while its hot.

Annie quickly sat up in bed. The sunlight filled the room. Turning off the lamp, she remembered her awful dream. Again, she took a good look around her bedroom; everything was in its place. She quietly promised herself she would talk with Bea about what she was experiencing and how afraid she was. Bea would help her understand it.

Reaching for her pink chenille robe with the