Breathe: I Scream Within

By Bethesda Murphy

Breathe. Take as many breathes as you need. Embrace yourself for a remarkable journey of four women: Anna, Beauty, Cherish, and Destiny. Hear their pain, feel their tears, and see them go insane and rise back to claim all that was taken from them. The only protection a woman has is God. Their story shows that the only guidance that can lead a woman that’s broken back to her pieces is sisterhood. Anna was trapped by a life of sexual abuse. Beauty was cursed by physical jealousy, neglect, and abuse. Cherish was lost in a man-made crazy asylum. Destiny was burdened by a blackened soul unsure, now, of her own destiny. Can you catch the rhythm of their poetic flow? Breathe is a release, an exhale for all those that have been living in inhale, unable to breathe. Can you hear your pain in theirs? Do you share their tears? Have you gone insane and tried to claim all that was taken from you? Then breathe! It’s okay because you have four sisters that will exhale with you. Discover how it can honestly feel like the entire world is against you. Learn how to relate to a loved one’s pain. See the world through the eyes of four women that survived the horrors of this life with nothing to hold on to but true faith in God. Could you have survived some of their breathtaking tales? What would you do if you had to walk a mile in victimized shoes? Open your eyes to the cries of little boys and girls. Understand the emotions that trauma derives. Just remember to breathe.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781644624098

Book preview

Anna

Last night, a feeling, a pain, a fear that I had never known awakened me. My body trembled with every touch from his hand. I begged him to stop, but he continued. I moved his hand, but yet he overpowered me. I lay there, and I cried, but it phased him none. I felt helpless, defeated, overwhelmed.

Somehow, somewhere, he looked upon my eleven-year-old body and became enticed. It was nothing I did or nothing I said; it was something within him. It was his lust, his sick emotions, and his lack of control.

I am not the one to blame. Yet I’m the one left to suffer from the pain. I can’t tell a soul because there’s no soul that will believe me. Thus, I just thank God it was I and not my little sister that was lying next to me.

I constantly wonder if my body is mine!

* * *

Beauty

I am hated by many but don’t know why. Women twice my age curse me, rail me, and spit in my face. I am cursed by the sin of my parents.

I am five but have known pain far beyond my age. I cry myself to sleep more than I should have to. I belong to no one; my siblings on both sides disclaim me. Some even blame me for the hurt and betrayal inflicted upon us all by two people’s decision to embrace feelings and emotions that should have never been embraced.

Lack of control has ruined my life. The future I see for myself is far from great. How could I have been so unlucky to inherit such a burden from birth?

If I am my pain, then I am the scum beneath the Earth!

* * *

Cherish

I have pleaded with satin on more than one occasion to take my life. My mind wonders into worlds far beyond the present. I try to cope with society, but it is society that provokes such feelings.

I am ten but have contemplated on ending my life countless of times. I can’t ignore the voices; I can’t erase the memories; I can’t void the soul-piercing pain.

As long as my flesh walks this Earth, these feelings will remain a part of me. So why do I choose life with all its pains or death with an eternal flame?

My mind has become my worst enemy!

* * *

Destiny

I constantly search for answers as to who I really am. I am confused and wonder, but a blur is what I see. At such a young age, I assume to know myself, but in reality, I have just begun to realize my life’s potential depth.

I search for an impossible answer. Only time can tell who’s the person I’m bound to be. I’ve endured so much that I doubt that anything good could come from such a daunted soul.

I scream in agony because it hurts to live. I scream in agony because it hurts to die. I scream in agony because I’m trapped in life. I scream in agony because to live or die has not yet been made clear to me. I’m forced to live because to want death is assumed to be abnormal.

I constantly wonder what’s to become of such a blackened soul!

* * *

Anna

I have grown to fear the presence of men. Even the touch of my father scares me. I don’t like having to live with such a fear. But this fear has conquered me, and now I’m forever its slave.

My thoughts have changed. My body now craves for things I know nothing about. The urge to hurt others as I was pulls at me. How am I to refrain at such a young age when those of age found the task damn near impossible?

Who shall be my mentor? Who shall I trust, rely on to help me through such an obstacle? Maybe a sister that betrays me for someone that gives her personal gain. Maybe a best friend that has carried the same burden since she was three; is it safe to let our minds collaborate?

I constantly wonder if my body is mine!

* * *

Beauty

I try to withstand the verbal and physical abuse that is inflicted upon me. But how much am I expected to take? This body is frail. Yes, frail to the touch, but the scabs from the partially healed wounds have made it tough.

I’m looked upon as if I’m Goliath, and everyone wants to be David; they want to be the one that brings me down. Truth is, I am Samson, and they are the Philistines trying to find the secret to my strength.

Unlike Samson, my strength is not physical. You can’t