Getting Past the Tears

By K.L. Smith

Getting Past the Tears is a fictional novel that tells of how lives were affected by the war in Vietnam. It is set in Eastern North Carolina and Southern Virginia during the late 1960s and into the twenty-first century. It is the fifth and final book in the series. Getting Past the Tears continues the story where Gardenia Lane ends. Kay Peel was happily married to her childhood sweetheart. Their lives were interrupted when her husband was drafted into the army and deployed to Vietnam. When the messengers arrived to notify Kay that her husband had been killed in action, she felt cheated out of the life they had planned. She leans on God, her friends, and her late husband's family to help her through her grief and broken heart. She decides to concentrate on her job as a registered nurse and close her heart to love to avoid having her heart broken again. Quint Sterling is a handsome doctor who had served in Vietnam. When he returned home from Vietnam, he found that his wife had not waited for him. He was welcomed home with divorce papers. His heart and dreams were shattered. He swore off women for fear of being hurt again. God has other plans for Kay and Quint. When the pretty young widow and the handsome doctor meet, there is an instant attraction between them. Even though Quint is fifteen years older than Kay, the couple bonds. It is as if their broken hearts reach out to each other. Neither of them is looking for love. They become close friends. Their friendship becomes the most important part of their lives. This is a story of how love can mend broken hearts and restore broken dreams. Through God's love, the couple realizes that what's gone is gone. Their hearts heal by letting go of the past and moving forward in love. True love conquers all. They find that love is more joyful the second time around.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098016623

Book preview

1

Staying Busy

Kay Peel’s father, Leo Lister, passed away on November 21, 1967. It was Thanksgiving Day. Kay was working the evening shift at the hospital when her sister, Amber, called to let her know Leo had died just after eating supper. He had a massive heart attack and was dead before the rescue truck arrived. Kay was unable to leave the hospital at that time because they were working short-staffed, and there was no one to relieve her.

Kay went by to see her mother, Gemmy, the next morning on her way to work. Gemmy chastised Kay for not coming to visit her family.

Gemmy spouted, You’ve gotten so highfalutin since you got married and became a registered nurse. You think you’re better than the rest of us. If you had been by to see how we were doing, you would have known your daddy has recently had several heart attacks. You have gotten above your raising. You have forgotten where you came from. The funeral is Saturday at Preacher Carter’s church. Visitation is tonight at the funeral home. Maybe you can pry yourself away from your charmed life long enough to pay respects to your father.

Gemmy’s words stung. Kay would not respond to Gemmy’s harsh words. Gemmy had no idea how much time and studying it took to become a registered nurse. She had no idea how much worrying Kay endured with Pete being in a war zone. Kay tried to surround herself with positive and uplifting people and activities. She made a conscientious effort not to let herself wallow in self-pity.

Pete and Kay had been married over two years, and most of their marriage had been spent apart. Pete was fulfilling his four years of military obligation. He had been in Vietnam since September. Kay filled her time with nursing school and now as a full-time registered nurse. She still found time to help out on the Peel family’s farm. Kay lived on the property Pete’s family had given Pete before they got married. She lived in a mobile home that Pete and his father had set up on Pete’s property. Kay had faithfully written to Pete twice a week and sent care packages at least once a month.

She prayed daily for her family to have peace and God’s blessings. Her older brother, Doodle, was still living with Leo and Gemmy. Doodle’s daughter, Tiwanna, was often in Gemmy’s care. Phyllis, her baby sister, was still living at home. She was a senior at Pineview High School.

Leo and Gemmy had continued to dote on Phyllis. Maybe Kay was a little resentful that they had never treated her or her sisters, Amber and Pansy, in such a loving, caring manner. Kay knew it was not Phyllis’s fault, but it didn’t stop her ill feelings.

When Kay visited with Gemmy, it saddened her to see Gemmy still cleaning up Doodle’s messes. Doodle was no longer working at the furniture mill. He quit when he lost the end of a finger to a saw. He was presently driving a taxi cab for a living. He and his former wife, Monique, continued to bicker with each other over Tiwanna’s child support and each other’s love interests. Doodle had no trouble picking up women, and Monique continued to date many men. Neither one of them agreed with the other’s choice of dating partners.

It bothered Kay to see that Tiwanna was not disciplined. The child was seven years old. Gemmy still bathed her like she had when Tiwanna was a baby. Gemmy cut up Tiwanna’s food for her. If it was too hot to suit Tiwanna, she would squawk and complain that it was too hot and demand that Gemmy cool it off. Gemmy would blow on the food to cool it for her.

When Tiwanna came to the Lister house from Monique’s family’s home, she was dirty with greasy hair. Gemmy’s first task upon her arrival was to bathe Tiwanna and wash her hair. Tiwanna squawked and fought Gemmy throughout the entire process.

When Kay had last observed Tiwanna’s behavior and lack of discipline, she had said, Mama, you are not doing Tiwanna any favors by doing everything for her. She is capable of doing things for herself. She’ll never learn to do for herself as long as you do everything for her. Let her bathe herself, let her cut up her own food. Teach her to spread her food out to cool it or encourage her to have patience to wait for the food to cool before she pops it into her mouth.

Gemmy had responded, Tiwanna had a rough start in life. Neither of her parents have ever taken time with her. I feel sorry for the child. Monique’s family does not even bathe her while she is with them. When she gets here, she smells so bad that I have to clean her up before I can sit in the same room with her. The only time she gets a bath is when I bathe her. I do as much for her as I can to let her know that somebody cares about her.

Kay countered, You are teaching her to be helpless. You would be doing her a bigger favor if you taught her how to care for herself. Tiwanna needs to learn to do as much for herself as she is capable of doing. What is she going to do when you are no longer able to do everything for her?

Gemmy shot back at Kay, You are heartless. You have a big dose of your grandmother Willie Lister in you. That woman was the most heartless person I ever knew.

Kay found Gemmy’s comparison of her to Leo’s deceased mother insulting. This was the grandmother who had never accepted her own grandchildren because they had some Cherokee blood flowing through their veins. Willie was a Tuscarora Native American. The Cherokee tribe was an enemy of the Tuscarora tribe. Kay always found it ironic that Leo’s mother had failed to see that her grandchildren had just as much Tuscarora blood flowing through their veins as Cherokee blood. She knew in her own heart that she was nothing like Willie Lister.

She found it better to stay away from the negativity that existed at the Lister household. Kay found that for her well-being, it was best not to expose herself to the atmosphere that elicited hard feelings in herself. She had to stay positive and focus on the positive things in her life. This was the only way she could get through Pete’s absence and her concerns for his safety.

Amber, her oldest sister, stayed away from the Lister home for some of the same reasons. The negative atmosphere was stifling. There was a lot of animosity between Doodle and Amber. Amber had a beautiful three-year-old son. She and her husband, Jake, had a loving and productive life together. Kay was happy for Amber. She was looking forward to a happy life with Pete. She was looking forward to having Pete’s children.

No one was able to get in touch with her older sister Pansy to tell her of Leo’s death. Pansy and her husband, Jake, were traveling across country on their motorcycles. No one in Jake’s family knew of their exact whereabouts. Kay silently cheered for Pansy. She was living the free life that she always desired. She had found a husband that craved the same type of life.

Gemmy remarked of Pansy’s life choices, Living like a gypsy is no way to live. She’ll surely come to some bad end. She never wanted to settle down. That’s not natural for anybody to want to live like that.

Gemmy had not been pleased that Kay could only get off from the hospital the one day of Leo’s funeral. The hospital was understaffed, and the nurses were pulling extra shifts to make up for the employee deficit. She had admonished Kay that no job could possibly be so important that she couldn’t take time off to respect the dead.

Kay felt like her job as a nurse was similar to being a mother. A good mother put her children’s needs before her own needs. A mother didn’t take time off from caring for her children. If a mother wanted to participate in an activity away from her children, she had to find someone dependable and capable to care for them in her absence. If she couldn’t find someone trustworthy and capable to care for her children, she would stay with them. Kay felt that way about patient care. The patients had to come first in her job. Kay was a dedicated nurse.

Gemmy told Kay, You remind me of your daddy. He didn’t like to take time off for deaths in the family. He never took time off from work to enjoy time with his family. He was always chasing the almighty dollar. You need to take time to enjoy life. Life passes too quickly. Money is not going to buy you happiness!

Again, Kay let Gemmy’s remarks go unanswered. Kay knew that Leo had worked hard to provide for their large family. He had taken care of his parents and paid for both of their funerals. Leo had paid his mother’s medical bills. He provided for his brother. He paid for Doodle’s expensive treatments in Chapel Hill. Leo had always been generous with Gemmy’s daddy and his family. Kay believed that Leo worked so hard because providing for the people he cared about was his way of showing love. He was not a perfect man, but he was a good man. He was a private person. Kay never really got to know Leo. She loved him and respected him. She felt that Leo had done the best he knew how to do for his family. He had given the best that he had to give.

Kay loved Gemmy too. She knew Gemmy had worked hard raising their family. She believed that Gemmy had also given the best she was able to give to them. As Gemmy had gotten older, she had become a very negative person, always seeing the dark side of every situation. As far as Gemmy was concerned, life was full of gloom, despair, and agony. She failed to look for the good parts of life. She had no joy in living. It was difficult to be in the presence of Gemmy’s negative attitude. It was contagious. Folks tended to stay away from negative people. Everyone in the world had problems. Life was hard enough without being around a person who only saw darkness and gloom.

Gemmy did not understand the responsibility that went with Kay’s job as a nurse. Kay knew that concentrating on the needs of others took her mind off her own fears and worries over Pete. Her job filled the void that Pete’s absence left in her life. Kay knew what made her happy. Pete’s love made her happy. She would take time off work when Pete came home. She had to stay positive and fill her time to keep from going insane with worry. Idleness brewed visions of what-ifs with negative scenarios.

Preacher Carter officiated a heart-stirring funeral service to honor Leo’s life. He spoke of all the good work Leo had done for the church and Bible college. He told of his admiration of Leo’s dedication to his job and providing for his family. He summed up by saying, Leo Lister worked himself to death. God looked down to earth on Thursday evening and saw that Leo was tired and needed rest. He saw that it was time to call Leo home to heaven. Leo will get the rest in heaven that he never got on earth. God said to Leo as he entered the gates of heaven, ‘Well done, My good and faithful servant.’ May Leo Lister rest in peace in the arms of God.

The owner of the furniture mill paid Gemmy for the vacation time that Leo had not taken during his forty plus years of working at the mill. It amounted to over two years of pay. Leo also had several life insurance policies for which Gemmy received the payout of benefits. He left her in pretty good shape financially. Seventeen-year-old Phyllis and Gemmy would receive social security benefits until Phyllis turned eighteen. If she was wise with her money, she could live well until she became eligible for Leo’s social security widow’s benefits. Gemmy was forty-five years old. She would be eligible to draw Leo’s social security when she was sixty-two.

In the days following Leo’s burial, Kay made a concerted effort to spend time with Gemmy. She tried to keep Gemmy’s thoughts positive. She took Gemmy out to eat. She took her to the grocery store. It was hard to keep Gemmy in a positive mood. Kay found that she could only spend limited time with her mother. Gemmy’s negative words were depressing to Kay. Gemmy’s constant admonishment of Kay’s long hours of work at the hospital stung. Her accusations that Kay had forgotten where she came from hurt. She would sometimes go home and cry over the negative visions Gemmy elicited in her.

Gemmy loved to talk about all the soldiers killed in Vietnam. She told Kay, All you have to do is watch the news. Every night we see them unloading hundreds of dead soldiers in body bags. It’s nothing but a bloody slaughter over there. Our country has no business in Vietnam. Old Lyndon Johnson got us involved in their civil war. That war has been going on for years. Kay, you need to face the fact that Pete may be sent home in a body bag. You need to start preparing for that possibility.

Mama, how can you even think something like that? I pray for Pete’s safety every day. God’s in Vietnam too. Please stop talking about soldiers in body bags. I don’t want to hear it. It’s very upsetting to me, Kay responded.

What you need to do is pray that Richard Nixon will get elected president and get us out of Vietnam. As long as Lyndon Johnson is in the White House, the slaughter will continue. Richard Nixon is a Quaker, and they do not believe in war. As long as there are soldiers in Vietnam, there will be dead soldiers coming home in body bags. It’s something you need to be thinking about, Gemmy said.

Kay didn’t watch the evening newscasts because of the depressing news regarding the war in Vietnam. The pictures that flashed across the television screens of the bodies of dead soldiers pouring back into our country were too hard for Kay to watch. The live reports from the war zone were unsettling. She hated to watch the demonstrators protesting the war in Vietnam. She hated the hostile attitudes shown to the soldiers returning from Vietnam. The returning warriors were spat upon. They were pelted with rotten produce. Obscenities were shouted at them. The brave soldiers were fighting without America’s support. They were returning home without America’s welcome.

The brave young soldiers were showing their dedication and patriotism to the country by courageously serving the country. They were sent by the government to fight against the spread of communism. They were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to preserve the freedoms that American citizens enjoy. Freedom is not free. Freedom is paid for with the blood of soldiers.

Kay had ill feelings toward the draft dodgers. The young men who fled to Canada or other foreign countries to escape the draft. She may not agree with the country’s involvement in Vietnam, but she knew the soldiers were doing right by answering the country’s call to duty. The troops deserved the support of all Americans. They had no choice in where the government sent them to fight.

Kay didn’t watch the newscasts and didn’t want to hear about them. She chose to keep her thoughts on positive things. Gemmy’s statements unnerved her.

After visiting Gemmy, Kay went home and prayed hard for God to take the image of Pete coming home in a body bag out of her head. She prayed that Gemmy was wrong about the possibility of Pete being killed in action. She prayed for Pete’s safety. She cried for hours. She had nightmares.

Kay got up early the following morning and went to help Pete’s mother cook cakes, pies, and candies for a special church service. Pete’s mother was alarmed to see Kay’s red and swollen eyes. When Kay told her what had happened, she was angry at Gemmy for even suggesting such horrible things.

Mama Peel said, Kay, sometimes you have to separate yourself from negative people. If being around your mother causes you this much stress, you need to stay away from her. In my opinion, she should be very proud of the young lady that you have become. I surely am. She should be supportive of you instead of tearing you down. Your mother may mean well, but what she said is the most horrible thing anyone could possibly say to someone who has a loved one fighting in a war zone. Let’s keep our prayers strong for Pete’s safety. Let’s keep our thoughts positive. It’s all in God’s hands. Anytime you get upset, day or night, come over to the house so you won’t be alone. Our doors and arms are always open to you. We can pray together. Although it’s painful, sometimes God needs to move people out of your life. Even if you can’t see it in the moment, one day you’ll look back and see that God was working all things together for your good.

Kay responded, Mama Peel, my mother has prophetic dreams that come true. I don’t know if she’s had one of her dreams about Pete. I was afraid to ask her, and I didn’t want to hear any more about it. I am really scared.

Kay broke down into tears. Mama Peel held her. She cried with Kay. Kay realized she had to limit the time she spent with Gemmy to keep herself from getting into the pits of depression.

2

Patient Care

Summer, 1968

Phyllis graduated from high school in the spring of 1968. She was presently working at General Electric Plant making filaments for incandescent lightbulbs.

Summer had been a scorcher this year. Kay was looking forward to fall and cooler weather. Pete had been serving in Vietnam since September 1967. He would be back on United States soil in a few months. His four-year enlistment in the army would be up in early October 1969. Kay looked forward to Pete returning from Vietnam. She looked forward to Pete being home for good.

They had been married since May 29, 1965. Pete was drafted into the army in October 1965. Kay had stayed behind to attend nursing school and to work part-time as a nursing assistant at Pineview Hospital. The hospital offered a program to their nursing assistants to pay their tuition to nursing school in exchange for a two-year employment period as a registered nurse once they graduated and received their registered nurse’s license.

Kay graduated from nursing school last August with an associate degree in nursing science. She received her registered nurse license after successfully passing her state boards of nursing. She began her two-year employment period with Pineview Hospital last September. She was almost through her courses to earn her bachelor of science in nursing.

Her two-year obligation to Pineview Hospital would be completed next September. Soon after her two years were up, Pete would be out of the army and back home working on his family’s farm. He would take his place working with his brothers in their successful wine business. The couple planned to start a family at that time.

Kay worked in the palliative care unit at the hospital. She enjoyed working with her patients. Her patients were terminally ill. Most of them had gone through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depressions, and acceptance. Most of them were in the acceptance phase and viewed each new day as a gift. Kay was amazed at the resilience of the human spirit.

It was awe-inspiring to observe a patient with terminal cancer that still managed to have a smile on their face and a word of praise for God on their lips in the presence of the pain and discomfort they suffered. Kay provided comfort care and words of encouragement as best she could. She often felt that she received more inspiration from her patients than she gave to them.

The last time Pete and Kay had been together was September 6, 1967, just before he left for Vietnam. She prayed for God’s protection over Pete every day. She was counting the days until Pete would be safely back in her arms again. She looked forward to the long and lonely wait coming to an end.

Kay had just gotten home from a busy shift. As she changed clothes, she reflected on her day at work. She was thinking about her patient Mary. Mary was a fifty-five-year-old grandmother with end-stage ovarian cancer. Mary had been unusually restless and worried today. Mary was concerned about not living to see her young grandchildren grow up.

Mary told Kay, I love them all so much. It hurts me to think that they are not going to remember me at all. I’m not going to get to see them graduate from high school and college. I had hoped to be at their weddings and hold my great-grandbabies. Cancer is a thief! It robs us of precious moments in our lives. It tears us from our loved ones way too soon.

Kay responded, I have an idea. Do you have a tape recorder or have access to one?

My husband has one. What do you have in mind? Mary asked.

You could write a letter to your grandchildren and make a recording of you reading the letter. That way, they can hear your voice and have a letter that you wrote to them. I’ll help you write the letter and make the recording. You can leave the letter and recording with a picture of yourself to your family. That will be something for your family to treasure. It will be a special gift to them.

After Kay’s shift was over, she went back into Mary’s room. Kay wrote the letter as Mary dictated it to her. The following is Mary’s letter to her family:

Dear loved ones,

It is difficult for me to write this letter. There are so many things that I want to tell you. There are so many things in my heart that I am unable to find the words to express. A lot of the things in my heart are beautiful feelings for which there are no words. The most important thing that I want you all to know is that I love each of you unconditionally. You have given me great joy and filled my heart with love and pride. You have made my life complete. I am not ready to leave you. I will never be ready to leave you. I wish that I could stay and watch my beautiful grandchildren grow into happy adults. I wish I could stay and lavish each of you with my love. It seems that God has other plans for me. I hope that you will think of me from time to time, and when you do, I hope your memories of me will be pleasant ones. My soul is ready to go to heaven, although my heart is a little hesitant. Know that I am taking with me a piece of each of you in my heart. I wish for each of you to lead a good Christian life for the glory of God. I wish for you to have lives filled with happiness and joy. Most of all, I wish for each of you to have hearts filled with love. Love one another. Lean on each other. Love is the greatest gift we can give to each other. Love is the greatest gift we can receive from each other. May God give each of you peace and comfort.

I love you for eternity.

Mary

When Mary’s husband came to visit, Kay talked with him about recording Mary reading her letter to the family. He was touched by this request. He agreed to bring his recorder to the hospital the next day to accomplish Mary’s request. He agreed that the recording would be something that his family would treasure after her passing.

Kay often stayed beyond her shift to spend time with her patients. During her shift, there was so little time to do extra things for them. Her regular shift was spent doing admissions and discharges, dispensing medications, flushing IV lines, dressing changes, wound care, preparing nursing care plans, documenting patient care, getting vital signs, and so much more. There was so little time to give the personal care to each of her patients that Kay felt that they deserved.

Some of the patients had few or no visitors. Often families and friends rallied around them when they were first diagnosed with cancer, end-stage renal disease, chronic lung disease, or chronic heart disease. Once they overcame the initial shock of the diagnosis and realized that the disease didn’t immediately claim the patient’s life, the interest in the patient waned.

Many friends and family members used the excuse that they wanted to remember the patient in a healthy state, not in a diminished or debilitated condition. Kay often heard them say that it hurt them to see their loved ones suffering and that they were unable to handle it. So instead of spending time and giving love and support to their loved ones, they stayed away to shield themselves from the harsh effects that the disease rendered on the patient.

Kay stayed after her shifts to wash patients’ hair, give manicures and pedicures, rub lotion on dry skin, and listen to the patients express their feelings. This helped keep Kay’s mind off her own loneliness, worry, and anxiety over Pete. She had no reason to rush home. There was no one waiting for her at home. Occupying her time with her patients was therapy for Kay.

Kay wished she could spend time with her family, but her siblings were busy with their lives. Her mother, Gemmy, was pessimistic. She always talked about the war in Vietnam and warned Kay that Pete may come home in a body bag. She seemed to enjoy telling Kay that if Pete came home, he would probably suffer from battle fatigue and night terrors. She talked about soldiers she had known that fought in World War II and how the war affected them.

Gemmy said, They were not the same men when they came home. They were tortured by the horrendous things they had seen in the war. It would have been better for some of them if they had never come home. You need to prepare yourself for a different Pete. If he comes home at all, he will not be the Pete that you remember.

After her visits with Gemmy, Kay often left in tears. It only took Gemmy a few minutes to wipe away Kay’s positive thoughts and replace them with doubt, fear, and anxiety. It would take Kay several days to get over her anxieties and fears for Pete that visits with Gemmy brought about. Kay found it safer to spend time helping others than to spend time with her mother.

The next day, after her shift ended, Kay and Mary’s husband helped Mary make the recording for her family. Making the recording calmed Mary’s anxiety and gave her a measure of peace. Mary passed away two days after making the recording. Kay was at her bedside as she drew her last breath.

Kay attended Mary’s memorial service. Mary’s recording was played at her service. It gave Kay a grateful feeling that she had helped Mary leave this treasure for her family.

3

The Messengers

On Saturday, June 15, 1968, Kay had worked a twelve-hour overnight shift that ended at seven o’clock. She had left the hospital at seven thirty. She showered when she arrived home and crawled into bed around nine o’clock. It had been a long, hard shift. Kay was exhausted and fell asleep immediately.

Kay was awakened around ten o’clock in the morning by a loud rap on her door. Kay sat up in bed and looked at the clock. She had the next two days off. She had planned to sleep until noon and get up to help Mama Peel can green beans. At first, she thought she had overslept. It was unusual for anyone to interrupt her sleep. The Peel family knew that Kay had worked all night and that she planned to sleep until noon. Her next thought was that something must be wrong.

She shouted at the door, Hold on. I’ll be there in a minute.

Kay got up and pulled her robe on and ran a brush through her hair. When she opened the front door, she saw Pete’s mother and father standing on her porch with two uniformed army soldiers. She immediately knew they were at her door because something had happened to Pete. She knew it was worse than Pete just being injured. She saw the hurt look on Pete’s parents’ faces and the tears spilling from their eyes.

One of the officers stepped toward Kay and asked, Are you Kay Peel?

Kay’s head was spinning. Everything was moving in slow motion. Kay nodded at the soldier.

He asked, May we come in?

Kay nodded and stepped away from the door to allow them entry. Pete’s mother and father each took one of Kay’s arms and guided her to sit down on the couch between them. Kay felt like she was in a fog. Nothing seemed real. This had to be a nightmare. She needed to wake up.

Kay heard a muffled voice coming from one of the soldiers. General Michael S. Davison, commandant of the United States Army, has entrusted me to express his deep regret that your husband, Peter, was killed in action in Binh Dinh Province, South Vietnam, on June 14. The Huey helicopter on which specialist Peel was a crew member was shot down by enemy fire while attempting to rescue eight fellow soldiers surrounded by attacking enemy forces. All crew members died outright. His body was recovered. General Michael S. Davison extends his deepest sympathy to you and your family in your loss. We ask permission to return tomorrow with details of the body’s movement to the United States and death gratuity. We’ll need to discuss mortuary affairs and funeral honors. Are there other active-duty family members who must be properly notified of your husband’s death?

Pete’s father answered, We’ll be home tomorrow. Pete is the second son we’ve lost in Vietnam. Our son Jimmy was killed in Vietnam in 1960. Our son George has another year in the army. He’s stationed at Fort Benning in Georgia.

The second officer said, We will be back tomorrow at two o’clock. We’ll have more details at that time. Here is our card with contact information. If you have any concerns, please call us. We will see that your son George is notified of Peter’s death. Again, please accept our heartfelt condolences for your loss.

After the officers left, Kay and Pete’s mother held on to each other and cried. Mama Peel told Kay, Get your things and come to the house with me. You don’t need to be alone. I need you close to me because you hold a piece of Pete that’s still alive in your heart. He loved you more than anything on this earth. You made him happy.

Kay gathered some things to take to the Peel’s house. She didn’t want to be alone. Her whole life had just changed. The unfulfilled dreams that she and Pete had were gone. The life she had hoped to have with Pete had just been ripped away from her. She would never see his smile again or hear his laughter. He would never hold her and kiss her and make her feel that all was right in their world. Their world together had just evaporated. There would be no children with Pete. That fact hurt worst of all. All the plans they had made and all the things they had prepared for were now just emptiness.

Kay felt that all her direction in life had been destroyed. How could she live without Pete? She felt like everything inside of her was broken into so many pieces that it would be impossible to ever put them back together again. It was as if her dreams and her future had been stolen.

The next week was a blur. It was as if Kay was walking in a never-lifting fog. Pete’s body was brought home. His father would not let anyone see Pete’s mangled and charred body. He had looked at it and found it to be too damaged and horrific for viewing.

Kay sat by Pete’s casket as the pastor of the Methodist church said kind words about Pete. He offered words of comfort to the Peel family. The military rites were carried out at the funeral service. Three volleys were fired. Taps was played. The American flag that draped Pete’s coffin was folded and presented to Kay. Prayers were said. A long procession of friends and neighbors filed by the family, offering hugs and condolences to the members of the Peel family. Pete was laid to rest beside his older brother, Jimmy, in the Peel family cemetery.

Kay was comforted to see Cliff and Almeta. Almeta hugged her and said, Take your time grieving. There’s no need to rush back to work. You have been kicked in the heart, and it’s going to take time to heal. If you need to talk, you know I’m always available. We love you like a daughter. Call us day or night if you need anything at all. Take care of yourself. That’s what Pete would want you to do.

Roman’s mother and sister were there. Gem and Rain hugged Kay and cried with her. Gem said, "My sweet, beautiful girl, my heart bleeds for you. I’m so sorry for your loss. It doesn’t seem fair. Pete was so young. You will never get over losing Pete. With God’s help, you’ll get through it. I want you to promise that you will come by to see me as soon as you are able. I would love to talk with you, cry with you, and maybe laugh with you. Pete