Character A to Z

By Fred Tudor Jr.

Character A to Z is a story which examines the character of an accused sports trainer at a large university. A string of character citizens testifies on his behalf. His character traits are spotlighted through scriptural lessons.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685264505

Book preview

Chapter A

Accountability

So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

—Romans 14:12

Taj

Character counts! You can change a behavior, but character does not change. God rewards good character. And Dad’s favorite: Character is what you do when no one is around, I, Taj III, thought. It was 4:00 a.m., and I had not slept one minute all night. The judge would read my verdict at 9:00 a.m. this morning, in exactly five hours. I was not only nervous but a little scared. I had always been a positive guy who puts others’ needs above my own. Well, maybe not always but definitely in my adult life. My dad, Taj Young Jr. (TJ), and mother, Ann, were always huge on how being a strong, moral, high character individual would almost always guarantee a successful life. Although I and my mom seemed to always bump heads on what was best for my life, I always believed that she had done a wonderful job at giving me a great upbringing. The values that my parents instilled were not only a benefit to me but also to my brother, Sly, who became a local legend in athletics.

How could my life turn into a continual attempt to prove that I was not the bad guy the prosecutor displayed during the trial?

My whole life condensed into two weeks’ worth of testimony. Two days for the prosecution to present its case. This was followed by a week and a half of character letters from my former players and character testimony from a dozen more. They all loved their trainer, Taj Young III, I said out loud.

What did you say, baby? my wife, Katrina, mumbled in her sleep.

Oh, nothing, Kat, just go back to sleep.

The story of how I and Katrina met and got together is a lesson in strengthening character all by itself. I had always been what one would call difficult in my relationships. I really was not that concerned with getting close to my women. The steady string of girlfriends ended when two things occurred: one, I found out about a stipulation in my grandparents’ will. It said that I had to marry before my younger brother, Sly. Then I met my match in Katrina. We were introduced by Sly and Sly’s future wife, Bianca, who was Katrina’s cousin. Sly and Bianca knew about the crazy will before I did. They set out to find someone who would not take any stuff from me. They hit the jackpot with Katrina. Kat is smart, funny, and slightly weirder than me. She tamed the part of me (too mean and serious) that people always said I got it honest from my mother, Ann. I fell in love with her ability to look at situations from someone else’s point of view. She also had a way of being kind, and still, no one tried to take advantage of her because they saw that her kindness was a weakness. These were things that as a young man, I not only didn’t want as part of my personality but truly didn’t believe that these traits were admirable.

The number one thing that changed my life around and propelled me to love Kat forever was how she taught me to be accountable for my actions. I was never a person to not take responsibility for what I did, but I never felt the need to hold others accountable around me. This was one of the main friction points with my mom because I decided to quit playing college football the year I was to be possibly drafted. Mom felt like I was quitting on my team and on the family. I just no longer had the passion to compete at the college level. It seemed to be more like a job, and I was beginning to feel isolated and withdrawn from my teammates. I could not figure out how I reached these feelings when I had played team sports all my life. I could not explain it to my mom at the time, but a few years later, Kat was able to help me understand.

*****

Taj, how are you and your mom doing? Kat asked on the way home after a night at the movies.

We’re doing all right. Why do you ask?

Well, it seems like instead of trying to talk out the differences you two have, you just avoid spending time with her. This is not only bad for the two of you, but it puts your dad in the middle.

So you think it is my fault? I asked defensively.

Now there you go taking everything so personal. All I’m saying is that somebody has to compromise first. Why not you?

But it is she who got so upset because I got tired of playing with a bunch of immature grown men. I could not stand to see guys slacking off when they should be training. Some teammates would sneak out and break curfew and then play terribly and not seem to care. Here I was holding up my responsibility and feeling like a snitch if I told Coach about the slackers. I decided that it was not worth it, and an individual sport like golf would easily solve that problem. Mom just saw the end result which to her appeared like I was quitting on my team.

So are you your brother’s keeper? asked Kat.

What in the world does that have to do with anything? I replied.

"You must think that your responsibility stops with just you. In this life, you are first and foremost accountable for yourself, but it most certainly does not stop there. Why didn’t you correct the behavior of the teammates who put themselves above the team? By not saying anything, you put yourself above the team. At least that’s how some people would see it, mainly your mom."

That is totally ridiculous. I laughed. I’m selfish if somebody else wastes time in the weight room and doesn’t work hard? Each individual is responsible for his own motivation and due diligence.

So let’s get this straight, said Kat. Motivation and things like commitment sit squarely on the shoulders of the individual.

You are doggone skippy, I quickly answered.

Then tell me, what is the job of parents, teachers, coaches, and leaders of a group, not to mention the individual who has never been taught how to commit to anything? You don’t realize how blessed you are to have parents and teachers or coaches in your past to teach you these things. You could have been a better leader. Not all people are self-motivated.

Then why couldn’t Mom just say that instead of going off on me? I wondered.

I am sure that she just thought her highly intelligent son knew these things. That could have been her mistake, but you took it all so personally, said Kat.

I thought she wasn’t trying to understand the way I felt, and she seriously thought I was not being accountable for my decisions. I knew exactly what I wanted, but it wasn’t what Coach Ann thought I should choose. I felt she should have acted like my mom for once, not like a stubborn ole coach.

Well, we have been down this road before, babe, Kat reminded Taj. Always be mindful of someone else’s point of view. Also from now on, be aware of the two sides of accountability. You are most definitely responsible for your own actions, but you are also accountable to and for connected folks like family, friends, and teammates.

That was the day that I realized that Kat just had a way of breaking things down to people. She could listen to what you had to say and get her point across in a way to make you think. I decided on that day that I wanted to pursue a career that would let me be that voice to others. The first thought was teaching and coaching like Mom. Good idea, but they already said that I was just like my mom. One thing was for sure: my passion was still in the sports field. Not too long ago, when my baby brother, Sly, was making a name for himself, I thought that it would be cool to be my brother’s agent. Now that was another great idea, but I didn’t have the personality needed to recruit clients. That was when the light bulb went off and the perfect career came to mind. I could help others, be at practices, and travel to games. Lastly, I could impact athletes’ lives as I came in contact with them on a daily basis.

I had always liked sports medicine and was great in anatomy and physiology. I now knew my calling! Sports trainer was perfect. My mom still had many connections at Cincinnati State University, and I could start out as an assistant and maybe do some personal training.

As happy as I was on my decision, I never envisioned that this day would lead me to this fateful morning.

All the athletes I cared for and all the lives I helped develop had to have some influence on the jury’s final verdict. The reality of jail was definite if I was found guilty. A man who did the things he was accused of should go to jail. The things in my past, which hinted at some sort of misdeeds, were all placed out of context by the prosecutor. I had to believe that no one could logically look at my accomplishments as a head trainer at CSU and think that I was a criminal. A criminal!

*****

I had tossed and turned all night going over my character witness’ testimonies. Could my lawyer have asked different questions? It seemed like I painted a portrait of a caring man who would spend countless hours with his athletes. Men and women alike came to see Taj Young III when they needed physical treatment, spiritual treatment, or no treatment at all. I just always would impart some knowledge and/or wisdom that would build character. I helped build character for dozens of young men and women, and here I lay in fear that their character references might not save my career and freedom.

*****

A question that always seems to come to mind is how do you hold somebody accountable in a team sport? In individual sports such as golf, wrestling/boxing, or swimming, it is quite obvious how to determine accountability. An athlete is dependent on him or herself to prepare and compete against a course or another individual, and the outcome becomes an easy assessment of the answerable party. This is seldom the case in a team environment. One of the strengths of good teams is the shared responsibility of proper preparation and team goals. It is often viewed as selfish if an athlete seems to place his personal goals ahead of the teams. The Scripture states that each player must be accountable for himself. This can be translated to describe my personal participation and now becomes very similar to the player in an individual sport. Coaches will often say to their team that each individual must be accountable to his or her teammates. The problem with this statement is understanding that the responsibility must first consist of an internal feeling of commitment to oneself. This is neither selfish nor a hindrance to the team chemistry. The truth of the matter is that if an athlete does not develop a reason to take responsibility for him or herself, then a team concept will never be understood. The prevailing feeling will be that the leaders are the ones who are accountable. It is very often that the coaches receive far too much credit when a team wins. Conversely, they also are blamed too much if the team loses. Although the wins and loses become a part of the coach’s permanent record, the coach can only be responsible for a portion of the outcome. There are also some positions within the team that seem to be more accountable than other team members. This is simply not fair and will always lead to dissension.

Prime examples exist when a player or players are disciplined for breaking team rules or a class is punished for the actions of a few. The guilty party probably does not feel that they have to answer to the group for their actions. They have not internalized the commitment to themselves to do the right thing. They see the situation as a singular event not related to the team. The word selfish always seems to crop up in these situations. Without getting into the role of the particular player, his or her absence due to a suspension is always detrimental. The reason is the attitude that goes throughout some of the team members. The emotions can range from I don’t really care to total anger and disgust. The rest of the team feels like, If I can be accountable, why then can’t the guilty person?

What has