Not My Secret: Triumph Over Tragedy

By Kara Ramirez

It’s “not her secret to keep.” Having been diagnosed and treated for breast cancer for the past seven years, the author has emerged on the other side of living with the disease. She is now sharing her story—of how God has used suffering and pain to bring her to a place of submission and trust.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638858737

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Not My Secret

Triumph Over Tragedy

Kara Ramirez

ISBN 978-1-63885-872-0 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63885-992-5 (Hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-63885-873-7 (Digital)

Copyright © 2022 Kara Ramirez

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Catch me when I Fall

The Preparation Journey

The Next Lesson

The Refining Continues

Are we There Yet

It's about the Process

The Hidden Christian

Misguided Executive

Time is Running Out

The Invisible War

A New Approch to Old Ways

The Strengh of an Eagle

Catch Me When I Fall

I was seated high on the second balcony at church, looking down at the praise team in the dimly lit sanctuary. I had arrived that morning in anticipation of hearing an uplifting message that would finally help me determine my path forward—my destiny, my purpose in life. In that moment, I was immersed in the music. I felt the rhythm of the song as I swayed my body back and forth with the beat.

I thought that I sounded like an elite soloist as I sang along. My family, on the other hand, was hearing a familiar pitch they had grown accustomed to, the voice I use when I sing in the shower or belt out lyrics in the car. The sound of my voice rested somewhere between bleeding ears and screaming cats, but it didn’t matter to me. I was fully committed to my worship and confident that my intended audience cared only about the condition of my heart and not the pitch of my singing voice.

It was a familiar song; but on this day, the lyrics carried a newness and an unmistakable presence. This time, the words cut deep and seemed to speak directly to my soul. I had no way of knowing why or what was to come; yet I knew in that moment, there was something brewing on the horizon. The chorus was about going deeper so that my faith would be made stronger. That’s it! I thought. That’s what I want, God. To know you more fully, to be in deep relationship with you. Do whatever you need to do with me to make my heart right. Take me to whatever depths you must so that I can know that type of relationship with you. I had no idea what I was saying, no idea of what I was asking of God in that moment; but he was about to give me all that I was asking for.

I was in complete submission to the will of God that day, not realizing the work that he had already begun. He had some serious work to do in my life. He was committed and willing to do what was necessary to deepen my faith and to reveal his glory. He didn’t promise an easy, pain-free journey; but he promised to walk beside me. He carried me through the depths and brought me to the place I had been longing for.

Several months after that church service, I began the most difficult journey of my life: I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Among friends and family, I am known for being a private person. There are many reasons for that, but I have come to understand the significance in sharing my pain with others. There are lessons we can learn from the discomfort of our journeys. It is imperative to have the willingness to share the difficulties we have faced with others. Allowing others to witness how I walked through the pain of my circumstance can serve as an example to anyone facing a similar battle. Revealing the work that God has done in my life is a great way to express his awesome power.

My story serves as an example of someone who has faced unexpected and unimaginable odds. While I am still in the refining process, I am emerging on the other side, and I feel drawn to share my experience with others if it can aid in lightening the burdens they are carrying. I discovered God’s strength during this tough season in my life. I had realized that in his power, I had an ability to keep moving forward when my strength was gone. When the chips were down and there was nothing I could do to change my situation, God was there holding me up.

You may find variations or differences when you compare my battle to yours; but my hope is that as you read my story, you will discover that I did not have anything available to me that you do not have access to. I didn’t have a magic wand or a bag of pixie dust in my pocket. I had what you have. It is the same access to the power of Christ.

God has used the suffering in my life to bring me to a place of submission, and this ultimately changed me. As a result of how my journey has changed my life, I feel led to share my story. I am a living example of someone who has walked through the fire and made a choice to lean on the promises of Jesus. I hope that you find this information helpful as you continue fighting to overcome whatever you are facing today. By trusting in the power of God you will start to understand that you can overcome the odds.

Your story of how he has helped you walk through a particular valley and come out on the other side can be exactly what someone needs to hear as they battle through their own difficulties. Most importantly, we have an opportunity to demonstrate how we have responded to the trials we’ve faced. We may not have a choice in whether or not we will experience a specific trial, but we always have a choice in how we respond to our circumstances.

We can become bitter, angry, or disgruntled. We can ask, Why me? or claim how unfair our situation is. If we aren’t careful, we can compare our life with that of the social-media friend who seems to be skipping through life, the one who seemingly has it all together. Understand that there is risk in comparing our life to others; it will almost certainly leave us feeling less significant than where we were when we started.

We have another option: we can trust that somehow, someway God will use even the difficulties in our lives for our good. I get it. It’s easier said than done, especially when we are the ones walking through the dry desert seasons of life. You know the ones—the seasons that test us and seem to push us past our limits. It’s during these dark and often dreary times when we must decide to be still and know that God is still in control, fully trusting him with the outcomes.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Rom. 8:28 NLT)

Let me just say that for me and others like myself, inactivity can be pure torture. I realize that it has been for my own good to cultivate skills in me like stillness, waiting, and patience. That said, I wouldn’t naturally choose to work on these things. Let’s face it. We delight in developing things we are good at, the talents that come naturally to us. I don’t particularly like working on the tough stuff, the things I’m not good at. While individual opportunities may never become my strengths, they seem to be more difficult to improve on and less enjoyable to nurture in the overall scheme of it all.

That said, I know it is important for us to continue refining our deficiencies so that they don’t become a liability in our lives. If we aren’t careful, they can deter us from God’s overall purpose in our lives. Trust that it is not a secret to God; he considers this as well. When I miss an opportunity to learn something that God is trying to teach me, in his grace, he frequently lets me try it again. He recognizes the importance it carries and doesn’t give up on the lesson even when I prefer to move on.

Interestingly, I find that the same failed lesson circles back around in my life as if God is saying to me, You failed the lesson the first time, my dear child, so let’s try this one again. It is important that you pass this test. I am committed to your success and will give you retest after retest until you pass it. I’m thinking, Retest? I don’t want to take a retest! I didn’t like it the first time, which is probably why I failed the exam to begin with!

I can honestly tell you that I have never enjoyed taking tests. The difference for me is that taking tests in school or at work were typically one-and-done scenarios. I rarely had a chance for a do-over, whether I needed it or not. No one had time for that. Either I passed, or I didn’t. In life, with Jesus as our teacher, a passing grade is required. The lessons only get harder, and a complete understanding of the former lessons are often a prerequisite before we can move on.

I often want to rush through the lesson, to skip over the difficult parts, and get to the end. In his loving way, he simply refuses to do that. You see, God already knows how it ends; he knows who the winner is. He doesn’t need to spend time wondering about how it will all turn out, and neither do we.

The Bible is filled with information on how things will end. It’s not a secret; and by knowing God’s Word, we are told exactly what happens. Nothing you or I do will change the outcome of God’s story. Spoiler alert: God wins! However, we aren’t called to stand idle. In his grace, he allows us to participate in the process. We all have choices to make and decisions that affect our ultimate destination. Why then do we spend time worrying about the end instead of aligning ourselves with what concerns God?

It’s the process, not the outcome. What I perceive as painful, he understands as a part of the process. I am convinced that God, like any good parent, doesn’t like to see his children in pain.

Which of you asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will you give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matt. 7:9–11 NIV).

I don’t like to see my loved ones in pain, and I am confident that my Father in heaven doesn’t enjoy seeing me in pain either. He allows me to go through whatever I face, including pain, if it will bring me into a closer relationship with him. An honest question that is often asked is, How can a loving God allow us to go through pain? I don’t pretend to have the answers to such a difficult question, but one of the greatest tools God has used to teach me about life is parenting.

I have a picture that hangs on my wall that reads, While we try to teach our kids about life, they teach us what life is all about. Being a parent has taught me quite a bit about life. Those of you who aren’t parents can likely understand this lesson through children that you know. I love my children and would never want to see them in pain—unless I knew that by allowing them to experience temporary pain, it would somehow shape them into the people they need to become.

I remember when my kids were learning to swim, and we were trying to teach them to fearlessly jump into the water. My husband or I would stand in the water near the edge. We had our arms stretched out, signaling for our kids to jump. They were reluctant and scared. Even though we were only a few feet from the side, eagerly waiting to catch them, they refused. We would tell them repeatedly, Don’t worry! I will catch you; but for a while, they would hesitate.

They were terrified of what would happen; they knew they would go under the water and not be able to breathe. Although we were right