Triggering Faith

By Anna Karson

After surviving years of abuse and a near-death experience at the hands of her now-ex-husband, author Anna Karson received clarification from God. She wanted to find God’s purpose in everything.

A follow up from her first book, Triggering Fear, this story tells how knowing even the worst moments are meant for the glory of the Lord made her struggles worthwhile. In Triggering Faith, Karson shares how God didn’t pave an easy road for her life, but she knows His eternal love abounds every day. Her trials didn’t end after her escape from her abuser. She experienced one serious issue after another, such as several illnesses, loss, grief, and the struggles of living with a severely mentally ill child. But she remains strong in her faith that God sees her through each situation.

Karson delivers her story, not for pity, but to assure others facing the same challenges, that God is here. She encourages all struggling Christians to look to Christ for all things and to gain faith in His everlasting grace and mercy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664263604

Anna Karson

Anna Karson has overcome many trials, including surviving domestic violence. Her faith in God has kept her strong in the darkest of times. Karson is also the author of Triggering Fear, a true story that follows her life up to the night she fought for her life and freedom.

Book preview

Copyright © 2022 Anna Karson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means,

graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or

by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the

author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author

and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of

people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

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and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-6359-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-6361-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-6360-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022906840

WestBow Press rev. date:  04/19/2022

Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

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DEDICATION

This is dedicated to my children, who have inspired me to do better,

to be strong, and to show them nothing is impossible with God’s help:

To my angel who I will continue to miss the rest of the

days that I breathe, until we meet again in Heaven

To the two of you who help keep it all together; for all of

the strength and support you give me, even when I mess

up; and for being like me: not afraid to speak your mind to

stand up for yourself or when being loyal to your friends

To the baby of the crew, for being the most teachable lesson that I

believe God has still to offer me, even though I struggle and fail.

You are your own, unique person who has the ability to love hard.

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Prologue

If you haven’t yet had an opportunity to read Book One, Triggering Fear, I shared details concerning the severe and violent abuse I survived during my first marriage. My intention in Book One was to bring attention to PTSD and how it is not just a disease for soldiers. Other victims of trauma can also deal with the lasting effects of PTSD. I have faced things that brought me to the brink of death many times, and more than that, brought me to my knees. I am a firm believer in God, and I’m not ashamed to publish that in any book.

With that being said, Book Two, Triggering Faith, will take a look at how I gained strength from God during my abusive relationship. I have used that strength to stay faithful and positive in every tragedy that I have faced since. I’ll share mistakes I’ve made and demonstrate how, even though I’ve failed God, He never failed me. I’ll highlight the part of my life where I struggled the most to turn it all over to God to handle that ongoing battle for me. This book reveals how I have tried to fight and pray through whatever God has thrown at me. In addition, I hope this effort brings some awareness to adolescent mental health issues and lack of related resources; that is its own pandemic across the globe.

Chapter 1

I n just under two months (record-breaking at that time), all the testing was completed, and Dad had donated a kidney that was working for me before they had even finished the procedure—all glory to God. Although I had been through so much violence that had brought me to this point, I never complained about having to do dialysis or having a transplant, because I believed it to be God’s will. When God showed me the reason I had to endure what I was going through, it opened my eyes to so many things.

Thinking back on the times I’d lain in bed after a beating or had a loaded gun at my head, I wondered how many times I had lain there and prayed for God to lead me out of the situation or fix the situation. Most nights, instead of praying, I’d just lay there and tell myself not to make a move, replaying the abuse I’d received that day and wondering if there was something I could have done differently to avoid it. When I truly had no one but God who knew what was going on, I did not consider Him as much as I should have. That’s not to say I never prayed to Him about what I was going through, but I definitely could have done it so much more.

If you’ll remember from Triggering Fear, I discussed a very violent scenario where the monster used a loaded gun to rape me. Once it was over, he put that same gun in my hand and had me point it at him and told me I deserved to shoot him. What would you have done in a situation like that, knowing that very well could have been your only way out? Would you have taken the opportunity? Would you have looked to God, remembered His commandment against murder, and thought that also included people like the monster? That was all He wanted and expected me to do (well, I’m not sure that’s all, but in that particular moment, that was it). God needed to be at the forefront of my thinking, and it’s where we all need to turn when we have no one else. He can solve it all.

Once He showed me that memory in the hospital on my twenty-first birthday, it completely changed my outlook. I hate to compare it to salvation, because that is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. But when we are lost and separated from God and our hearts are heavy and troubled, He wants us to have the faith of a mustard seed, and believe He can and will save us when we earnestly ask. I’ve experienced that firsthand, and if you haven’t, you need to look at where your soul stands with the Lord. When you are saved, there is a peace beyond all understanding that fills your heart, and trouble and sorrow roll right away. That’s not to say that we all won’t face troubles and trials once we’re saved; this book confirms that I still have dark days in the valley. The thing to remember is that He is our true ride or die, and we can talk to Him at any time. We must keep faith that He’ll get us through it all, no matter how hard a situation seems. We need to let those terrible and difficult times trigger faith instead of fear.

There is a reason why it has been so easy for me to learn to grab on to that faith and have it every time I need it. My mother has suffered from depression my entire life. I understand now that it is a disease, and it runs in her family. But when I was young, I had no idea what it was. As I entered my teen years, it started to bother me. Her depression often came out as pessimism about any and every situation. It did not matter what type of good news you shared with her, she always had some negative comment. Usually it was something that worried her but was likely never going to happen. I cannot even remember the exact pessimistic conversation that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, but at some point in high school, I made a conscious decision to always find the positive in any situation. To this day, I still live my life that way. That doesn’t mean that it comes easy every time I go through something, but I eventually get there. In order to do it, I have to keep faith that God is with me and working everything out according to His plan.

The self-promise to build on my faith in God through every trial has been critical throughout my life and certainly during the transplant. I knew that God would reveal a donor; although we were nervous about Dad encountering some