When your mouth keeps silent your body speaks: The marks that no one saw behind the abuse

By Ada Escalante Steffensen

When your mouth is silent, THE BODY SPEAKS: The footprints that no one saw behind the abuse.
There was something that completely changed my way of seeing things; I discovered a poster on the wall that said:

"What you try to forget your body remembers"

I was so impressed by this message that the title of this book came out after a long time.
I had suffered so many years, no one could help me, there was no medicine or treatment, I always came back to the same diagnosis, psychosomatic pain.

These came to take control of my day to day, I blamed myself many times for not having faith and not knowing how to trust. Only there was something else that no one knew, a secret that I had sworn to carry to the grave. I found out that this secret was literally killing me.

I invite you to read a true story, which unfortunately is repeated very often in society. My hope is that through this story I can help give a voice to the victims who are not heard and who could avoid many diseases if they only allowed us to SPEAK.

About this book:

This book is intended for people who have suffered abuse, mistreatment and neglect in childhood and who have not been allowed to talk about it. To those victims of parental carelessness, who were unable to care for and protect them. So that they know that if you can go out and overcome the pain and suffering.


Readers around the world have said:

"Rarely does a book connect you so directly with the reality of many women as this book by Ada Escalante '". ★★★★★

'' It is about the quiet lives of children who endure harassment and mistreatment with the complacency or neglect of caregivers and close people. Facing these difficult situations that leave a mark on people's lives requires a process of reflection and learning and a willingness to heal. '' ★★★★★

'' This book gives you the guidelines to do it masterfully. I loved reading it, because beyond the harshness of the events related, the author takes us on the path of solutions to achieve a life

• Language: English
• Publisher: XinXii
• Release date: Oct 25, 2021
• ISBN: 9783986460136

Book preview

FOREWORD 

When I could finally see the first rays of sun painting the sky a peach color, I said to myself At last! A new day has begun. I looked at the clock and it was already 5:04 am; only three hours of sleep, but I couldn’t stop reading WHEN YOUR MOUTH KEEPS SILENT, YOUR BODY SPEAKS so, very quietly I slipped out of bed and went directly to my study, still with Ada Escalante’s words resounding in my mind... Your body remembers what you try to forget.

It’s a difficult story, a story of pain ... but not only physical pain, emotional and spiritual pain. It's a pain that you can understand because you can relate to it; even more so if the person who narrates it is a person with a great heart with whom I have a beautiful friendship. Sisters in words and in lives’ coincidences despite the different environments in which we grew up.

These are stories that many times we try to keep quiet for various reasons, all valid, but we keep quiet. We remain silent until someone appears with enough courage to tell us that we weren’t the only ones to suffer the abuse, the deception; that we weren’t the only ones to suffer in silence; that we weren’t the only ones to believe that life was just that, a jump from pain to pain, from disappointment to disappointment. We weren’t the only ones who were unknowingly lost and confused.

We arrived on this planet wrapped in innocence, ready to give our hearts without any malice. Trusting that our parents are the ones to establish the limits of what is and isn’t allowed. But when they themselves, the parents, don’t know how to do this, then their silence, for the child, means that everything is fine, that that is how it’s supposed to be, and we mistakenly keep quiet and suffer in silence thinking that life is simply like that.

But time takes its toll on us and even if we don’t want it to, even if we resist, the body speaks. Migraines? Muscle pains? Unexplained fatigue? Eating disorders? … There are many symptoms and very few correct diagnoses because we forget that in addition to treating the body, we must also treat the soul!

Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.  It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Luke 17:1-2

WHEN YOUR MOUTH KEEPS SILENT, YOUR BODY SPEAKS, is a brave story! It’s a story that repeats itself more frequently than we would like and unfortunately many times due to fear of stigmatization, or feelings of guilt, or because of so many other excuses that our psyche intertwines, we keep silent and live life trying to make it look healthy and normal, although inside we carry that secret that little by little kills us. Then the aches and pains that doctors cannot explain begin to appear, and with painkillers or other chemicals we end up really affecting our body.

Above all, it’s a story of love, a story of faith. Because in her heart, the flame of God’s immense love was always alive, and despite everything lived, she kept looking for true love... the Lord has his times, and the great news is that good love always comes.

I invite you to receive this message with which Ada talks to us about pain, about the body, and how you can begin healing and seeing the bright colors of the world that surrounds us again.

María Julia (Marilú) López-Hurtado

Author of the Bestseller

The Awakening of Maja

RECOMMENDATIONS

I have been created to give; it’s my mission and vision in life. Before arriving to this conclusion, a lot of things had to happen. This led me to write the story of how it all started and have a complete picture. Like a puzzle, the pieces fit together and form the image that in the end is seen as a work of art from the Creator.

The following is a true story, with certain modifications so as not to offend or make anyone feel touched in any way.

My intention is to first reach the reader with a spark of hope and tell them that YES there is a way to escape pain and abuse, that we don’t need to continue being under the yoke of our oppressors, whatever it may be, abandonment, abuse, denigration, lack of love.

When I hadn’t yet finished coming out of my pain, I understood that everything that had happened had a reason for being, even though at that precise moment you don’t understand why, life ends up giving you certainty of it. I understood that I had to grow up and put aside my selfishness and my beliefs to get out of that circle of pain and victimhood.

All my energy and concentration had been focused on the pain, although humanly I was entitled to feel sorry for myself and because of everything that had happened, my mind saw it as something logical, but in the end, I saw that it was simply just pain.

Pain becomes, at a certain point in your life, the only dominant thought and in the end that thought governs your life and becomes a ruler over your existence. You must learn to distinguish between thought and feeling and not allow either to take control, because it’s you who is master and sovereign of your life with the power of decision and responsible for what you permit or not. This doesn’t mean that what happened is insignificant, but if it takes hold of you, it’s like letting the aggressor/abuser continue to do the same for a lifetime, even if they aren’t around, because the aggression is still in the mind. For every thought that you allow of pain and suffering, you’re allowing it to take control over you.

The memory is something kept in the mind, but your body is also part of it. Our skin remembers, since before we were born, the dark tunnel through which we had to pass to see the light for the first time. Obviously, you don’t consciously remember it, it’s your subconscious that does. All the emotions that your mother felt during her pregnancy, the rejection of feeling alone or also the joy of waiting for a being so desired, imbued our being and shaped us. The attachment or detachment that mothers feel towards their children, also influences us. She could think: Another one! Isn’t it enough with the ones I already have? This in the world of science is called rejection and marks the child even in adulthood if they can’t recognize what happened to them, understand, and forgive.

Then we grow up and childhood is marked by episodes of abandonment. We can’t avoid this, the faster we realize what happened, the better we can work and get out of the circle of abuse, detachment, and lack of love.

Once we know the reasons for our way of acting, it will depend solely on us what we do with this information and what power we give to our mind so that it governs and takes control of past events and takes over all the decisions that we make in our life span.

While studying various books on the subject of childhood, I have come across several psychologists who affirm that children’s attitudes, which we mistakenly call spoiled, are many times – not always – the cause of rejection or lack of attention from parents or guardians, in addition it also causes in certain children the desire to be obedient and good to draw attention, or to be able to go unnoticed so as not to be punished.

In the aforementioned case, I recognize myself; I tried as much as possible to be a good student, a good daughter, obedient and always helpful. Why did I do it? I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I do I was trying to escape a reality, forming my own, living a fantasy world in my mind where a man would rescue me and make me happy for the rest of my days; but for that I had to be very intelligent since I wasn’t beautiful or pretty (that’s what they had told me). That's why being intelligent would be my salvation card.

There comes a time when you reach an age where you can rethink, seek help, and realize that everything you have experienced has shaped you and you have no other option but to be the person you are today, that you came here thanks to or despite what you went through, and that you