Cajun Humor from the Heart

By Tommy Joe Breaux

Tommy Joe Breaux invites you to "sit down, relax, an' pass a good time" with the crazy characters of Breaux Bridge, Louisiana. Cajuns are famous for their storytelling talents and their ability to laugh at themselves, and Tommy Joe is a bona fide Cajun, I garontee!

Meet Miss Philosea Thibodaux, the schoolteacher; ole Doc Duplichan; Stinky and PooPoo Arceneaux ("not the sharpest knives in the drawer"); Elmo and Marie Breaux; and the duck-huntin' crowd that hangs out at T'Bub's Barroom. Discover what happens when Fideaux, the best duck-huntin' dog in the area, gets sent to LSU to learn "Franch." Find out what every Cajun mama and papa tell their daughters and sons when they get married. Take a trip on "Cajun Arroway." Told in the Cajun patois and peopled with loveable personalities, Cajun Humor from the Heart will tickle your funny bone and leave you begging for more. The entertaining illustrations add more humor to the stories.

ALSO AVAILABLE ON AUDIOCASSETTE

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Feb 28, 1997
• ISBN: 9781455601790

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Hello dere y'all and welcome to my world of Cajun humor. It is a world where the number-one rule is: Be happy and forget about all the things that make you unhappy. As you have read in the foreword, I have a whole bunch of things in the real world to worry about, namely having multiple sclerosis, two teenagers, and a receding hair line dat started when my daughter, Katie, turned thirteen. But then when my son, Jason, turned thirteen, Katie was fifteen, and dat hairline made a mad rush to the back of my head. I also have to worry about being the husband my wife Cathy deserves; a big brother to my sisters, Emilie and Anna; a good son to my parents, Helen and Emile; a good Uncle T.J. to my nephews,Joseph Lawrence and Michael Christian, and my nieces, Jessica Maria and Kathleen Marie; and a good brother-inlaw to my four brothers-in-law, Tommy, Jimmy, Darin, and Mike, and my sisters-in-law, Carmen and Jennifer. I also have my son-in-law duties to let my mother-in-law, Verne, and father-in-law, Harold (everybody calls him Flash), know that their daughter Cathy married someone who loves her dearly and will always be there for her.

In my world of Cajun humor I can really have a lot of fun, laughter, and happiness doing one of my favorite activities: making people laugh.

I have to give thanks to the good Lord above who provided me with two wonderful grandfathers: my paternal GranPa Gilbert, who started me off with all the wonderful tales about the people and happenings in his hometown of Breaux Bridge, Louisiana, and my maternal GranPa Fiddlin' Pete, who entertained thousands of people with the music of his generation and countless other generations during his ninety-one-year lifespan. It is the talent passed on by my GranPa Pete that has brought the stories of GranPa Gilbert to life—from me to you. I guess that explains why this book is named Cajun Humor from the Heart; it's about family, laughing, and being happy.

I would also like to acknowledge all of the talented people who have helped me put my heartfelt stories on paper. Ms. Denise McMullen Robare of Quicksilver Services spent countless hours at the typewriter, making sure my stories and dialect remained respectfully consistent to the flavor of Cajun humor. Her honesty and concern that my stories come across on paper as funny as they could be was an invaluable asset to me in the writing of this book. Thanks to Mr. Dominicus (Don) Maters for all his time and talent at the drawing board, drawing and redrawing all the illustrations until they visually brought the stories to life; to my son Jason for his impressive literary skills in writing the foreword to this book; and to Pelican Publishing for providing me the opportunity to do three things I love dearly—tell Cajun stories, make people laugh, and tell folks about my GranPa Gilbert and family.

I can tell you for sure dat wan some people tink 'bout a Cajun, dey tink 'bout somebody who can look at a rice field an' tell you how many gallons of gumbo it would take to cover it. Well, dat's right. Some people tink dat's dem people who don't talk like everybody else; well, dat's right too.

In reality, Cajun is de mutilation of de word Acadian. De Acadian were a group of people who moved out of France into Nova Scotia an' dere dey settles down an' avertang was goin' along fine till one day de Queen Mama over in England took a notion dat she would like to have a little piece of property, namely Nova Scotia. Well folks, de King was like any odder husband, he didn't want to leave his wife's complaint compartment open too long, so he sent some people over to talk wit' dem Acadian people an' tell dem dey was gonna have to swear allegiance to de King an' Queen of England.

Well I gotta tole you dat didn't set good wit' dem Acadian people one little bitty bit an' dey didn't swear to de King an' Queen of England, dey swear at 'em an' real good too. Dem Acadian folks all loaded up dere boats an' started down de East Coast of de LTnited States. Some of 'em settled in Virginia, some of 'em settled in de Carolinas, some in Georgia, some in Florida, some of 'em on de Gulf Coast of Alabama an' Mississippi, most of 'em settled in South Louisiana, an' some of 'em had some real good navigators on dere boats—dey wound up in Texas someware. Dem early settlers, dey brought wit' 'em dis tang we call Cajun humor. It's a humor dat we laugh at ourselves an' everybody else, an' pass a good time.

I guess it's time to get on wit' de stories an' pass a good time wit' all of y'all, so kick back, relax, an' get to readin' dem stories GranPa used to tell me.

Chapter 1

De People of Breaux Bridge

I guess wit' most folks, family comes first, an' I'm no different so I wanna start out tellin' y'all 'bout my cousin Elmo Breaux (pronounced Broh) an' his wife, Marie. Dese two folks are always fightin'. but de one tang dat keeps 'em together is dere boy, Lil Elmo. One day Big Elmo come home all excite an' say, "Oh Marie, Marie, you ain't gonna believe dis tess I found out 'bout to do on Lil