The Postpartum Partner: Practical Solutions for Living with Postpartum Depression

By Karen Kleiman MSW

This hands-on guide includes straightforward, supportive information and specific recommendations to help partners deal with the impact of depression after the birth of a baby.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669858386

Book preview

Copyright © 2023 by Karen Kleiman, MSW.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/25/2023

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

848304

CONTENTS

Introduction

Why You Should Read This Book

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM

One

Understanding PPD

Two

Differentiating Between Blues And Depression

Three

Making Sense Out Of This

Four

It’s No One’s Fault

Five

Going With The Flow

Six

The Power Of Pretense

Seven

Misconceptions About Depression

Eight

Symptoms Of PPD

Nine

Ruminating

Ten

Dealing With Negative, Intrusive Thoughts

Eleven

Coping With Anxiety

Twelve

The Nature Of Depressive Thinking

Thirteen

Coping With Sleep Deprivation

Fourteen

Coming To Terms

COPING

Fifteen

What Your Partner Might Be Feeling And What You Can Do About It

Sixteen

What Works For You . . . May Not Work For Your Partner

Seventeen

You Cannot Fix This

Eighteen

Why What You Think Will Help– May Not Help

Nineteen

What To Say . . .

Twenty

What To Do . . .

Twenty-One

What Not To Say

Twenty-Two

Make Important Decisions Together

Twenty-Three

Emotional Paralysis

Twenty-Four

When To Push The Boundaries

Twenty-Five

Set Limits

Twenty-Six

Encourage, Don’t Pressure

COPING WITH SPECIFIC SITUATIONS

Twenty-Seven

Hold Steady

Twenty-Eight

Compromise

Twenty-Nine

Moving Forward

Thirty

Listen

Thirty-One

Don’t Overreact

Thirty-Two

Understanding Loss Of Confidence

WHAT YOU MIGHT BE FEELING

Thirty-Three

You Are Tired

Thirty-Four

You Are Worried

Thirty-Five

You Are Frustrated

Thirty-Six

You Are Angry

Thirty-Seven

You Are Confused

Thirty-Eight

You Are Resentful

Thirty-Nine

You Are Scared

Forty

You Are Embarrassed/Ashamed

Forty-One

You Are Feeling Misunderstood

TREATMENT OPTIONS

Forty-Two

Guidelines For Seeking Help

Forty-Three

Things You Should Know About Treatment

Forty-Four

Join The Session

Forty-Five

Impact On You As A Couple

Forty-Six

Suicidal Thoughts

Forty-Seven

Emergency Situations

MEDICATION

Forty-Eight

Understanding Medication

Forty-Nine

Options

Fifty

Nursing And Medication

Fifty-One

Living With Side-Effects

Fifty-Two

The Impact On Sexual Functioning

Fifty-Three

Course Of Treatment

SUPPORT

Fifty-Four

Why You Need Support, Too

Fifty-Five

Find The Time To Take Care Of Yourself

Fifty-Six

Give Yourself Credit

Fifty-Seven

A Word Of Caution About Comfort Measures

SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS

Fifty-Eight

Helping Your Partner Get The Help They Need

Fifty-Nine

Strategies For Intervention

Sixty

Resistance And Treatment Sabotage

Sixty-One

Decide Together What To Share With Others

Sixty-Two

Talking With Your Older Children

RECOVERY

Sixty-Three

The Long, Slow Healing Process . . .

Sixty-Four

Hanging In Through Recovery

Sixty-Five

Role-Reversal

Sixty-Six

Taking Care Of Each Other And Your Relationship

Sixty-Seven

Planning For The Future

Sixty-Eight

How Things Have Changed

To Bruce, my hero

INTRODUCTION

WHY YOU SHOULD READ THIS BOOK

You might be reading this because your partner asked you to read it. Or, you might be reading this because you’re really worried about what’s going on at home.

Or, perhaps you’re reading it. . . .

• . . . Because you haven’t had sex in three months and your partner doesn’t seem to be bothered at all by this.

• . . . Because your partner is tired most of the time and hasn’t been as avail- able to you as much as you’d like and your marriage feels like it’s too much work right now.

• . . . Because you think your partner has indulged in this bad mood thing for long enough and your patience is wearing thin.

• . . . Because you feel frustrated by your partner’s constant irritability and pessimistic outlook.

• . . . Because your partner is terrified about the way they feel and is looking for a way out.

• . . . Because you’re quite exhausted yourself, and confused about what to do to make things better for both of you.

You know things are not right at home. You’ve just had a baby. You, and everyone else, expected that life would be wonderful and full of joy. But it’s not. Whatever your reason for picking up this book, let me reassure you with one point: You may not want to read this, but it will help you confront these issues. The problems at home need to be addressed. You know it. She knows it. So, here are some facts:

• Research has shown us that perinatal depression will improve markedly with the consistent support of a significant other.

• The longer you pretend that the depression will go away by itself and deny