Can You See Me?: The Outreach, #1

By Romilly King

Josh needs a Dom. Mal needs an education. Could this be mutually beneficial?

 

This is The Outreach, where the kink curious can have their desires analysed, their cravings explained, and if they are lucky, find the right kind of someone to meet their needs.

 

It's brand new and causing waves, politically and socially.  Some see it as a green light for deviancy, for others it's their last chance to understand why they want the things they want.

 

MAL

When my boss sent me on this assignment I thought I was writing a fluff piece, a sly little dig at the newest psychobabble trend to hitch itself to the "discover yourself" gravy train.  I was wrong.  It seems these guys actually know what they are talking about, and what they are saying is resonating inside me on a primal level. It's making me feel all kinds of stupid about how I've played in the past, and all kinds of fascinated for how to scene in the future. I'm revising this story, and I'm going to learn everything The Outreach has to offer.

 

JOSH

I'm not doing so great. I've not been doing great for a long time.  It's easy to blame it on my service, to be that PTSD veteran, but it's more than that.  There is this need inside me that I never explored and then the trauma denied me the freedom to even consider it. I don't know if this Outreach thing can help me, but with their science and their skills they can tell me the kind of man I could have been, the kind of love I could have had, and there is some comfort in that. I might be too old and too damaged to ever truly experience my desires, but I want to know, just for myself, just for the record, which way I am tilted.

 

Two very different men, two very different reasons to be where they are, but The Outreach will bring them together and help them see themselves and each other. 

 

Can You See Me? is the first book in the Outreach Series, set in the same universe as Romilly King's Delphic Agency Series of gay romance novels - It brings back favourite characters from Delphic and is a slow burn romance with realistic kink exploration, themes of hurt and comfort, a dom who thought he knew it all, and a damaged sub who is too ashamed to kneel. There will be a happy ever after.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balloon Ride Books
• Release date: Dec 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215313565

Romilly King

Romilly write's character driven gay romances that focus on the dynamics of intense relationships.  Romilly's plots tend to dive deep into the more fascinating aspects of human behaviour - basically there will be a lot of kinky stuff!

Book preview

Prologue - Welcome to The Outreach

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The pandemic changed everything.  The society we thought we were creating got stalled in the fallout from the economic slump that followed the years it took to roll out the vaccine.

In those bewildering years some things we got right, and some things we got wrong.

Two of the things we got right were sex and food. 

We standardised food prices across the country - no gouging here - to ensure nobody went hungry. 

For those who chose to sell sex - because when you have nothing left to sell you sell yourself - we made sure they were legal and safe and properly recompensed for their legitimate choices.

Overseeing the sex economy was how the agencies came about.  Delphic was one of them.  We facilitated contracts between those who sold sex (Venditores) and those who wanted to buy it (Emptores). 

We were very good at it, and we got even better when, in association with a brilliant neuroscientist and his algorithmically adept business partner, we uncovered the secret to matching people based on their deepest desires.  In partnership with 3M we developed a test that looked into the conscious and unconscious desires and drew a map of them.  It allowed us to match people perfectly. 

Nothing is more varied than the spectrum of human sexuality, with all its hues and shades, fetishes and kinks.  That test and the accompanying algorithm threw light onto just how much humans needed the right kind of connection to blossom together - on my lighter days I call it self actualisation via the genitals.

It was never intended that the test and the algorithm be restricted only to the wealthy Emptores that used Delphic.  There was always a hope, a dream if you will, to make it available to all. 

You see I remember the old days, before the world got turned upside down, when we were so very close to having a society that let love be love and accepted all the ways humanity expressed that.  I think we can still get there, we’re just running a little behind schedule.

Facilitating that hope is the purpose of The Outreach Project - make the tests that until now only the rich could afford available to more people.  Do good, make the world a better place, make society more accepting of all the nuances of human sexuality.  Test people who wanted to be tested.  Support people who felt shame and confusion around their sexuality.  And offer instruction to those who want to learn.

We thought it would be easy.  We thought we would be welcomed.  We may have been mistaken in that.  But we’re not stopping.  Too many people need the kind of help we can give, because everybody deserves to live their authentic life.

Michael Bond

Director - The Delphic Agency

Mal

Well that was weird. 

The sensor glove releases its firm grip on my right hand and wrist and I wiggle my fingers, the tips tingling from the press of the pads.

The lights in the room come up slowly and I find myself staring at the ceiling whilst my body does all kinds of disappointed stamping around and my libido has a tantrum of epic proportions.

I adjust myself in my pants.  Whatever that just was, it certainly hit my brain where it felt it.

Please lie quietly for a moment, Sir.  The contralto voice of the AI is right in my ear. Allow yourself a moment to recover.

A dull headache makes itself known across my forehead.

Knowing my luck these guys are cowboys and it will turn out I’ve just been hit with all sorts of weird gamma radiation shit.

I spend a moment considering how I would behave as a mutant and then the dentist type chair I am lying back in begins to shift to the vertical.

Blood pressure is now normal but I would suggest you hydrate yourself to avoid any lasting effects. You will find an energy drink by the door.

I hate AI’s that pretend they are real.  It’s pathetic. 

I swing my legs off the chair and try to stand up. My thighs tremble and my shoulders ache like hell.  What the fuck?

I grab my bag from the floor and pull my phone out - I’d been in here over an hour.  I make a few voice notes on the phone - how I feel, room ambience, layout, a few more notes about how I feel because I do not feel great, and then I gulp down the effervescent drink that is waiting by the door.

Slinging my bag across my shoulders I palm open the door of the testing room. It slides back with a quiet hum.  It makes me edgy that I cannot dredge up a single memory of what actually happened in the room, not a single clear image after the virtual reality headset slid into place.

The main impression I have is that I feel incredibly horny, and very much denied.

I’ll deal with that later.  A quick hook up. Boss around some twinky little blonde, a rough fuck and I’ll be right as rain.  First I have an interview to finish, and a lot of questions.

Outside the door a nerdy looking guy with soulful eyes and dark hair is waiting for me.  He has a slight smile on his face and, fuck me, he is wearing a plaited black leather collar.  Slim and discrete sure, but definitely a collar.

I smirk at him.  He is kinda hot in a junior professor sort of way.  A bit older than I normally like them, maybe a couple of years older than me, but hell, variety is the spice, right.

Letting my eyes run up and down his elegant posture I imagine he would look good on his knees. He definitely has the mouth for a sub.  I wonder if he could deep throat me.  The thought of sliding into his hot mouth right now and making him gag thick streams of spit is very appealing.

I almost jerk at the way my thoughts just ran away with me.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Don’t worry, his voice is low with the slightest hint of a southern drawl, It will wear off soon.  You’re rather more susceptible than we expected.  Really interesting though.

He steps forward and holds a hand out, Dr Cashell Gregory, I’m head of The Outreach Project.

Mindlessly I take his hand, it is dry and his handshake is firm.

Shall we? he says politely, indicating I should walk with him, My colleague has limited time today and so we had better hurry along, although I would imagine he might linger once he sees your chart.

We’re on the upper level of an attractive victorian era villa in one of the more hip areas of the city.  The room I was just in was all cutting edge technology but the villa itself is more exposed brick walls, pale wooden floors and wide windows.  It’s like a particularly non-threatening spa - much as I suspected it would be.

I’m not getting a whiff of sexual deviancy other than from my own pants - which is disappointing, but it’s early days.

I’ll ensure you have a full tour of the facilities after we have a chat but starting with the full psycho sexual assessment will help you put everything else into context. We’ve found it assists people in framing their questions and understanding what we are offering here.

I’m good with my mouth.  I have to be.  I’m not shy, and I have no problem in asking the difficult questions, but the way this guy is talking, as if this is a legitimate thing, well that comes as something of a shock, and I find I have no words, no place to start.

Mindlessly I follow him.

It’s not that I object to being put on this feature. Hell, I would have jumped at it anyway - the opportunity to do an in depth profile on latest fad in sexual self discovery.  It’s a juicy story.  From what I can gather this is a clinic that hands out prescriptions for kinky sex rather than happy pills or herbal enemas but it’s all the same playpen as far as I am concerned - just another twist on making people think coming here makes them more interesting than they are. 

So how are you getting your clients, Doctor, I ask, eventually dredging a question from my distracted brain. It’s always good to follow the money, that normally shows me which way the wind is blowing.

Right now we are by referral or website enquiry only, Dr Gregory explains,  We have links with police, welfare, medical professionals, psychologists and therapists.  We’re also reaching out to school and college counsellors.  Anyone who a professional suspects may have an issue around their sexuality, particularly with regard to kink, we’re there for them, and it’s completely free.

I blow out a breath, That’s pretty amazing, Doc. And not what I expected.

We have sponsors that are committed to funding what we do, Dr Gregorys says, adding And please, call me Cash.

I had already noticed the discrete logos of 3M and Delphic on the entrance door when I arrived.  A world famous algorithm development company that specialises in organisational psychology, and an equally famous supplier of high end venditores to the rich and the famous, are weird bedfellows, to put it mildly. 

My journalistic instincts tingle.

How did you manage to bring two such different organisations together to sponsor you?

They aren’t that different once you get past the surface, Cash replies blandly, We have all worked together in the past, and whilst what we do here utilises breakthroughs employed by both organisations we are not under the aegis of 3M or Delphic.  We just happen to be playing in the same sandbox, but in this corner of the sandbox we make our own rules.

Well that bears looking into.  I make a mental note.

Will you be taking walk-ins? I ask as we pass through a foyer where a reception desk is positioned to give privacy to the offices behind.

Eventually, certainly at specific times. Cash nods to the young man behind the desk, But right now only our classes are open to all. The assessment and individual training - if people want to take advantage of it - is strictly by appointment or referral. Did you look at our website form?

No, I answer smoothly, I didn’t have a chance, and I like to get the lay of the land first and then bring in the research.

Really, I prefer the other way. The mild mannered Doctor’s tone is innocuous but I can’t help feeling that he just took a jab at me.

Snotty little submissive in his leather collar.

Josh

I spent some time getting ready today, making sure I’m smart, clean, presentable. It's a habit, ingrained, along with make your bed, polish your shoes, and shave closely. 

Down at the core I know it’s nothing more than learned behaviour.  It doesn’t mean I am well.

Even my private thoughts knock me down these days.  No succour anywhere.  The slightest suspicion of my laying claim to something positive and I disparage it straight away.

I don’t think I used to be like this. I’m sure I thought I was more than this, once upon a time.

Despite the novelty today is a going through the motions day.  A lot of days are like this and I guess that’s why it took me so long to notice them.

It was only when I went to group therapy and people started talking about disassociation that I realised that’s me, most of the time.  Not quite there.  Slinking around the edges of things, particularly joy. 

Really not great at joy. Or pride. Or happiness.

Really good at shame.  Got that one pegged.

Upping my rankings in guilt too, but I guess that’s wired in - Catholic childhood, they get us young with that one.

Today is far from routine though, which is why I’m trying to look my best.  Today I get to find out who I am.  Not that it will change things. I don’t plan to do anything about it even if it confirms my suspicions. That particular boat has sailed, leaving me on the dock. 

I would like to know though, because, well my councillor, she suggested it, as a positive step, and I like to accommodate professional advice, or what would be the point of it. 

I did once have a plan for when I got out of the military. For when closeness to strong, dominant men was something I could allow. When I got back to the civilian world that’s when I would let myself look at that part of myself.  It was a promise I made myself.  Wait until you’re done Josh, wait until you’re out, and then be what you think you are.  Hard as you can,