Grooming, Etiquette & Manners for Teens, Young Adults & Future Leaders

By GERARD ASSEY

Think for a moment how would you feel if someone: Never says 'Please' or 'Thank You' when you help them? Or Takes or Shares your things but never shares anything of theirs with you? Snatches the remote, while you are watching TV? Makes a loud noise while eating? Belching loud? Or pushes ahead of you in a queue?

Who you are shows in how you behave and also in how you appear to others. How you look, talk, walk, sit, stand and even how you feel-in a word, the sum of how you present yourself will always speak volumes about who you are. Good manners cost us nothing, but will help us win almost everything. Good manners put others before you- the skills of respecting others and making people feel easy and comfortable. If you show good manners everywhere you go, then you are more likely to encourage others to behave in the same way towards you

In today's increasingly global arena, technical knowledge alone is not enough to ensure success. Sophistication is more and more the catchword. Given a choice between two equally talented individuals, corporations will choose the candidate with greater interpersonal and social grace skills to represent it. As our world becomes a smaller place and our economy becomes increasingly global in scope, it is becoming increasingly clear how important good manners are in all cultures. In fact knowing how to treat others well is more important now than ever. How we look, talk, walk, sit, stand, eat – ie; how we present ourselves creates the first impression that others form of us. This is true not only in personal life but more so in our professional life.
With a world that's becoming more and more competitive, proper business etiquette and interpersonal skills play an increasingly important role in the success or failure of anyone's business career and the company they represent. Knowing how to behave courteously and professionally is far from trivial. Etiquette and protocol does count in the business world, as no matter how brilliant an employee may be, his or her lack of social grace can make a bad first impression on clients and business associates.

Studies have shown that more than 60% of what is believed about us is based upon visual messages- What people see! At many Fortune 500 companies, top management take potential front line employees to lunch or dinner to observe their comfort level with executives, spouses, waiters and even with the various pieces of silverware. Like it or not, management equates good manners with competence and poor manners with incompetence. Table manners can make or mar a mega-merger, especially in an era when companies are competing on the basis of service-this can be a crucial business skill. Good manners are good business!

Your inability to handle yourself as is expected could be expensive--no one will tell you the real reason you didn't get the job, the promotion, that big business deal or the social engagement. Your social graces and general demeanor can tell as much about you as the way you handle an issue. Fair or not, others equate bad manners with incompetence and a lack of breeding, and the cumulative effect of this repeated faux pas in an organization, can be devastating leading to a major loss of respect, credibility, loss of reputation, and business!

Your Success can start today with 'Grooming, Etiquette & Manners for Teens, Young Adults & Future Leaders' This book will help increase your confidence in your image, manners, business etiquette and interpersonal skills to help you build rapport and trust with your business customers and associates. They are not only important to know now, but will benefit you throughout your life, adding to your future success in the world of work, with you having a competitive advantage in everyday life- at university, work and in your future careers-In fact this is the only survival skill!

• Language: English
• Publisher: GERARD ASSEY
• Release date: Dec 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201061029

Book preview

Gerard Assey

Grooming, Etiquette

& Manners

for

Teens, Young Adults

& Future Leaders

By

Gerard Assey

© Copyright 2022 by Author

Published by:

Gerard Assey

19/18, Palli Arasan Street

Anna Nagar East

Chennai - 600 102

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means- electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission from the author.

Cover Image: Image courtesy www.Freepik.com

Due acknowledgement is provided. Thank you.

Table of Contents

Introduction- Survival Skills for a Competitive Edge

& Successful Career!

Part 1- Grooming, Etiquette & Manners

✓  Developing Personal Qualities & Attributes of a Professional

✓  Why Self-Esteem Matters: How to Build a High Self-Esteem!

✓  Managing You-Positive First Impressions!

✓  Meeting and Greeting

✓  Manners and Etiquette at the Workplace

✓  Managing Relationships: The Right Questions and Listening are KEYS!

✓  Telephone Skills and Manners

✓  E-Mail Etiquette 

✓  Networking Skills

✓  International Business Etiquette

Part 2- Dining Skills and Table Manners

✓  Restaurant and Dining Skills- Mastering Table Manners

✓  Business Meal Etiquette-Planning and Arrival- First Impressions Matter!

✓  Before the Meal or Event

✓  Understanding the Table Setting before Beginning

✓  The Various Course Meals

✓  Proper Utensil Etiquette: Tools of the Table

✓  Managing Basic to Formal Dining

✓  A Quick-At-Glance Table Manners- Do’s and Don’ts: Dining Conversations

✓  Toasting Etiquette

✓  Tea Etiquette

✓  Tipping Etiquette

✓  Settling the Bill

✓  Business Meal Follow-up: Thank you notes

Conclusion

About the Author

Survival Skills for a Competitive Edge & Successful Career!

Before you get into reading this book, I want you to think for a moment how would you feel if someone: never says 'Please' or 'Thank You' when you help them? Or Takes or Shares your things but never shares anything of theirs with you? Snatches the remote, while you are watching TV? Makes a loud noise while eating? Belches loud? Or pushes ahead of you in a queue?

Who you are shows in how you behave and also in how you appear to others. How you look, talk, walk, sit, stand and even how you feel-in a word, the sum of how you present yourself will always speak volumes about who you are.  

Good manners cost us nothing, but will help us win almost everything. Good manners put others before you- the skills of respecting others and making people feel easy and comfortable. We can have better relationships with people we know and meet in our day to day life by just behaving well, with courtesy, respect and politeness. If you show good manners everywhere you go, then you are more likely to encourage others to behave in the same way towards you

And this is what ‘Etiquette’ is! -noun - ‘et·i·quette’

It is the standard, a set of rules or customs that control accepted behavior in particular social groups or social situations- the courteous conduct in society and among individuals.

In today's increasingly global arena, technical knowledge alone is not enough to ensure success. Sophistication is more and more the catchword. Given a choice between two equally talented individuals, corporations will choose the candidate with greater interpersonal and social grace skills to represent it. As our world becomes a smaller place and our economy becomes increasingly global in scope, it is becoming increasingly clear how important good manners are in all cultures. In fact knowing how to treat others well is more important now than ever. By examining how good manners apply to our working world, we will benefit ourselves, together with everyone around us. After all who we are shows in how we behave and how we appear to others. How we look, talk, walk, sit, stand, eat. ie; how we present ourselves-speaks volumes about who we are and creates the first impression that others form of us.

This is true not only in personal life but more so in our professional life.  With a world that’s becoming more and more competitive, proper business etiquette and interpersonal skills play an increasingly important role in the success or failure of anyone’s business career and the company they represent.

Knowing how to behave courteously and professionally is far from trivial. Etiquette and protocol do count in the business world, as no matter how brilliant an employee may be, his or her lack of social grace can make a bad first impression on clients and business associates.

Take a look at the following.

Less than 30% of U.S. (the world’s largest economy) businesspersons sent abroad can be expected to succeed. Training for employees prior to an overseas assignment can save companies tens of thousands of dollars, benefit the employee, and increase the company's chances of being successful... The Wall Street Journal

The Japanese (the world’s second largest economy) spend an estimated $900 million a year on training, related to etiquette and protocol... Diana Rowland, California Japanese business practices consultant.

John Rockefeller once said: ‘I will pay more for the ability to get along with people than for any other ability’.

40 percent of all adults have social anxiety, and 75 percent of all adults experience anxiety at a party with strangers (from: Dr Bella De Paulo’s: People Often Can't Judge How They Impress Others).

The World’s Top Consultant, Peter Drucker was quoted as saying, "Be ready or be lost; if you don't think globally you deserve to be unemployed and you will be."- Business Week.

You cannot imagine how necessary it is to mind all these little things; for I have seen many people with great talents ill received - Lord Chesterfield.

Studies have shown that more than 60% of what is believed about us is based upon visual messages- What people see!

At many Fortune 500 companies, top management take potential front line employees to lunch or dinner to observe their comfort level with executives, spouses, and waiters and even with the various pieces of silverware. Like it or not, management equates good manners with competence and poor manners with incompetence. Table manners can make or mar a mega-merger, especially in an era when companies are competing on the basis of service-this can be a crucial business skill. Good manners are good business!

Your inability to handle yourself as is expected could be expensive—no one will tell you the real reason you didn't get the job, the promotion, that big business deal or the social engagement. Your social graces and general demeanor can tell as much about you as the way you handle an issue. Fair or not, others equate bad manners with incompetence and a lack of breeding, and the cumulative effect of this repeated faux pas in an organization, can be devastating leading to a major loss of respect, credibility, loss of reputation, and business!

Your Success can start today with ‘Grooming, Etiquette & Manners for Teens, Young Adults & Future Leaders’

This book will help increase your confidence in your image, manners, business etiquette and interpersonal skills, to help you build rapport and trust with your friends, family, colleagues, business customers and associates. They are not only important to know now, but will benefit you throughout your life, adding to your future success in the world of work, with you having a competitive advantage in everyday life- at university, on the job and in your future career-In fact this is the only survival skill!

So go ahead and enjoy the rest of the book! 

Part 1

Grooming, Etiquette & Manners

Developing Personal Qualities

& Attributes of a Professional

THIS CHAPTER WILL BEGIN with what YOU as a Professional will need to specifically have in order for you to achieve your objective, while carrying and conducting yourself well and yet performing in an outstanding manner.

If you are a student, business person or are planning to get into business, or are working for a business, you will know that while every business requires C.A.S.H. to survive and succeed....Every Professional also needs something to succeed, which I believe is more valuable than the CASH that comes in.

This is ‘K.A.S.H.’ because only when you have this KASH in you, you will be more successful in bringing in the CASH for you and/or the organization you represent, by ensuring and protecting the credibility and image of the organization

So what is this KASH?

✓  Knowledge

✓  Attitude

✓  Skills

✓  Habits

Knowledge is all about your Company, the Products or Services that you offer, the Market and Industry/domain that you operate in, together with knowing of who are the other players or your competition that are in this industry. It also involves knowing where you stand against them-your strengths and areas that your competition has an advantage over you, along with being thorough on the rates, polices and regulations in your industry and market.

How effectively are you able to transfer this knowledge to the customer to enable him to deal or decide upon you as a service provider is a skill.

Now there are various types of skill sets that people possess-Some examples for skills are:

Problem Solving Skills

Selling Skills

Networking Skills

Time Management

Team Working

Presentation Skills

Effective Probing Skills

Ability to present thoughts/ product demos

Effective Communication Skills

People Handing Skills/ Inter-personal Skills

Content Writing Skills etc

Now having Knowledge and Skills alone is not enough. There are many People you probably know of that have a great bank of knowledge along with the necessary skills, but yet have been total failures. Reason being they had a lousy attitude or very poor habits that killed a potential sale or the potential in them; that ultimately affected theirs and their organizations credibility

What you are seeing on the pie chart is the mental make-up of a Professional. As you will see, 50% has to do with the Attitude, followed by 25% on People Skills. In other words, if you don’t have the required knowledge or skills, as you can see, you may be able to still succeed with the right attitude and people skills, because those two account for 75%. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you should not work on your knowledge and skills...Absolutely no!

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WHAT I AM SAYING IS that given that you have the right attitude coupled with the right people skills, knowledge and skills, you don’t have to guess where your career graph would be!

Let us look at this a little differently....Assuming you have the right attitude and people skills, which together comprise of 75% but lack the required knowledge and skills, well then,  to me, with the right attitude you can easily learn them.  In any case Knowledge and Skills are teachable, but not Attitude!

Attitude is the outlook or perception towards a given situation, and for any professional, this is extremely crucial and foundational! Attitude is made up from our upbringing, environment, exposure etc. It would therefore be very difficult or it would take a long time to undo a wrong attitude that has gone in all these years. And if you are working with people, like that of

a sales or customer service professional, or in the hospitality field, then this is very important- as customers remember the wrong or negative attitude longer. You are the only thing the customer sometimes sees of your company- and this is the impression formed of your entire company- good or bad! It takes a long time to undo this negative feeling about your company in the mind of the customer. 

Here are some of the Key Characteristics of Highly Professional people who are fabulous at their job:

✓  Highly Positive attitude

✓  Enthusiasm

✓  Communication skills (Ability to communicate clearly/to use positive language)

✓  Charisma

✓  Creativity and resourcefulness

✓  Patience

✓  Ability to ask effective questions

✓  Good listening skills

✓  Capacity and willingness to learn

✓  Alert and Attentiveness

✓  Multitasking

✓  Time Management and Prioritizing

✓  Stress Management

✓  Responsible

✓  Problem Solving Skills

✓  Systematic and Organized

✓  A Team Player

✓  Resilience-to handle criticism and negative feedback

✓  Adaptability/ Flexibility

✓  Empathy

At this stage it is important to realize that there are 3 A’s of Business life:

Ability, Ambition and Attitude

Ability establishes ‘what’ someone does

Ambition determines ‘how much’ he does

But Attitude alone ‘guarantees how’ he does it!

Ability will bring one a pay cheque (check)

Ambition will get him a raise

Attitude alone will lead to success in everything!

Attitude is actually the ‘YOU on the job. When ability and ambition in two people are about equal, how does the boss select one over the other for promotion? Here is where Attitude is the deciding factor. Attitude reflects a little plus- that something extra is given willingly though not required.

If you look at the word A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E itself, is it a mere coincidence that I comes first and U later? If this has any significance, then in trying to understand the attitudes of people, we should first examine ourselves in relation to other people!

Because Attitude is so very important, this is why it is so crucial to fill our minds with the right positive thoughts because our thoughts work into decisions that form our actions and this continued action leads to a habit, which eventually makes up our attitude. Your habits today will become your attitude in the days to come. That’s why it is important to check our habits as well. As an example: The habit of being late (at say your office), if not nipped in the early stages can lead it to becoming an attitude, with everything that you undertake being late or