Papercuts 8: Dog Day Mid-Afternoon

By Colin Bateman

Through world wars and civil strife, the Bangor Express has never missed an issue, but now it is losing money hand-over-fist and Rob Cullen, fresh off the plane from his London news desk, has absolutely no idea that he's the man to save it. Lured back to Northern Ireland for the first time in 20 years by the demise of his one-time mentor, the Bangor Express makes Rob an offer he can't refuse and the Guardian reporter can't resist sticking around. After all, it has been a long time since Rob had a real story to get his teeth in to... and with the Bangor Express, that's just what he's going to get.

When Patrick Casey robs the O'Connor's post office, holding Gavin O'Connor hostage, Rob Cullen is the only man Patrick will consider speaking to and the police send him in to try and calm things down. It turns out Patrick has a mental illness and has stopped taking his medication. He is unpredictable and dangerous and no-one knows what he will do next. He offers Rob an ultimatum: to compromise the integrity of the paper, or risk his life. A single gunshot is heard outside...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
• Release date: Feb 1, 2016
• ISBN: 9781784973773

Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman is an author, screenwriter and playwright. He is the creator of the BBC series Murphy's Law and was listed by the Daily Telegraph as one of the Top 50 crime writers of all time. Find out more at colinbateman.com

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About Papercuts #8: Dog Day Mid-Afternoon

About Colin Bateman

Reviews

About Papercuts

Also by Colin Bateman

Table of Contents

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To read this book as the author intended – and for a fuller reading experience – turn on ‘original’ or ‘publisher’s font’ in your text display options.

For Matthew and Isaac

Johnny Cash shot a man in Reno,

just to watch him die.

Rob Cullen bought curly kale in Tesco’s,

just to watch it wither.

CONTENTS

Cover

Welcome Page

Display Options Notice

Dedication

Epigraph

Dog Day Mid-Afternoon

About Papercuts #8: Dog Day Mid-Afternoon

Reviews

About Colin Bateman

About Papercuts

Also by Colin Bateman

An Invitation from the Publisher

Copyright

As distractions went, it was a pretty big distraction.

Rob arrived late to the office on the Wednesday morning having taken a long weekend off to go and see his kids in England. Pete holding the fort, big decision in the air, speculation rife. When he walked through the door he kept his eyes front, but was aware of everyone and everything: Michael staring at his screen, pen in his mouth, a million miles away, Pete on the phone, Alix typing furiously, Janine at the counter talking to advertising clients, Gerry doing what he did best, watering the plants, but by the time he got to his office door he knew that all eyes were upon him. Even the plants seemed to turn in his direction. A tiny little bit of him was enjoying it, the teasing, being the focus of attention. But his head was still all over the place.

As Rob closed the door Michael spun in his chair to Alix and said, ‘Poker face or what?’

‘That’s his normal face.’

‘He’s going, isn’t he, Gerry?’ Janine said as her short-shrifted clients left.

Gerry poured out the final few drops from his plastic watering can before stashing it under the counter and turning to address his staff, Eisenhower on the eve of the invasion. ‘I told you,’ he said, ‘I asked him to take the weekend to think about it. It’s a big decision and, as soon as I know for sure, you’ll know. But I will say this – no matter what happens we are still a team. There is no I in team.’

He nodded at them wisely.

‘No, but there is one in bullshit,’ said Michael, then immediately regretted it. His face reddened and he deliberately dropped his pen, then bent to hunt around for it as a way of deflecting Gerry’s glare.

Pete said, ‘He knows fine well. They’ve clicked their fingers and he’s away back to London. He wasn’t seeing his kids, he was having his corner office repainted.’

‘And what would you know about it?’ Alix asked.

‘I’m just saying. Or maybe you have the inside track?’ He added a suggestive wink. She made a face and was about to respond but Pete’s phone began to ring and he held up a hand to stop her. Alix blew air out of her cheeks and returned to her screen. But then immediately spun back as Pete said, ‘Seriously? Christ. Okay, much appreciated.’ He cut the line, but the receiver remained cradled under his chin with his fingers poised over the buttons. They were all looking at him. ‘Someone’s tried to rob O’Connor’s post office on High Street. Shots fired. Cops all over the place. Caller seems to think Gavin O’Connor’s trapped in there with the robber.’

‘Like a hostage?!’ said Michael. ‘Brilliant!’

‘It’s not brilliant, it’s the opposite of fucking brilliant. I know the O’Connors. Bloody hell.’ As Michael held his hands up in apology, Pete nodded at Alix. ‘Do you want to find Sean and get down there...?’

‘Yes, me too,’ said Michael.

‘No – you work the phones for now... See if you can track down a photo of Gavin O’Connor, I know we had him at some function a few months back...’

‘I’d really rather—’

‘Just do it, Michael.’

‘Contrary to popular opinion,’ Rob said from his doorway, ‘I’m still in charge. I presume we’re talking about the robbery? Just got a call myself.’

‘I was only—’

Michael was smiling.

Rob said, ‘Alix see if you can find Sean and get down there. Michael – work the phones for now... and see if you can track down a photo of Gavin O’Connor... I think we had one a few weeks ago... Pete... keep up the good work.’ A wink and back into his office.

Pete