The Optimists

By Morwyn Brebner

"Let's believe that the half of our life not yet lived is the good half." A weekend in Vegas. The chance for hopes and dreams to come true provides the backdrop for Morwyn Brebner's humorous look at love. It's the night before the chapel wedding and the promise of "happily ever after." Old friends confront their regrets, lies, betrayals and disappointments. Will hope be the elusive wild card?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Scirocco Drama
• Release date: Oct 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781990737831

Morwyn Brebner

Morwyn Brebner's debut play, Music for Contortionist (Scirocco Drama, 2001), was co-produced by the Shaw Festival and the Tarragon Theatre in 2000 and nominated for a Dora and a Chalmers award. Other plays include Liquor Guns Karate and the musical Little Mercy's First Murder (Scirocco Drama, 2004) (with composers Paul Sportelli and Jay Turvey; winner of seven Dora Mavor Moore awards, including outstanding new musical). The Optimists (Scirocco Drama, 2005) was nominated for five Betty Mitchell awards, including best new play (Theatre Junction, Calgary). Brebner is a graduate of the National Theatre School and a playwright-in-residence at Tarragon Theatre in Toronto.

Book preview

Production History

The Optimists was first produced at Theatre Junction, Calgary, in February 2004, with the following cast:

CHICK ................................................................................ Ryan Luhning

TEENIE ...........................................................................Adrienne Smook

DOUG .................................................................................Doug McKeag

MARGIE .............................................................................Lindsay Burns

Director: Eda Holmes

Set Designer: Yannik Larivee

Costume Designer: Deneen McArthur

Lighting Designer: Darrell Moore

Sound Designer: Peter Moller

Stage Manager: Kelly Reay

Assistant Stage Manager: Michael Gesy

Fight Instructor: Kevin McKendrick

The Optimists was subsequently produced by Tarragon Theatre, Toronto, in September 2005, with the following cast:

CHICK ............................................................................ Randy Hughson

TEENIE .............................................................................Michael Healey

DOUG .....................................................................................Holly Lewis

MARGIE .......................................................................... Sarah Orenstein

Director: Eda Holmes

Set Designer: Deeter Schurig

Costume Designer: Alex Gilbert

Lighting Designer: Kevin Lamotte

Sound Designer: E.C. Woodley

Stage Manager: Maria Costa

Assistant Stage Manager: Kinnon Elliott

Characters

Chick, 40

Teenie, younger

Doug, 40

Margie, pronounced with a hard ‘g’

A black and white photograph of the author Morwyn Brebner. She is seen posing with her hands clutching her face.

Morwyn Brebner

Morwyn Brebner’s debut play, Music for Contortionist, was was co-produced by Tarragon Theatre and the Shaw Festival and published by Scirocco Drama in 2000. Her play Liquor Guns Karate was produced at Tarragon the following fall. Little Mercy’s First Murder (Scirocco Drama, 2003), which she wrote the book and lyrics for, was co-produced by Tarragon and Shaw in 2003 and won seven Dora Mavor Moore awards, including Outstanding New Musical. Morwyn is a graduate of the National Theatre School of Canada and is currently a playwright-in-residence at Toronto’s Tarragon Theatre.

Scene 1

Suite in Las Vegas hotel. Doors to bedrooms leading off. Kitchenette. You could stay somewhere better for the same money. CHICK, TEENIE, and DOUG sit around the coffee table, toasting. DOUG looks middle-class, prosperous. CHICK’s clothes look somehow less clean than DOUG’s, although they’re probably not; CHICK just has that kind of inherent loucheness that can’t be shook. TEENIE is blonde, cute. She has a bubbliness and sweetness that cover what has probably been a hard life.

TEENIE: (Laughing.) It was the first time I met you!

CHICK: It wasn’t a very suave move, I know!

TEENIE: He grabbed my ass! On the stairs!

CHICK: I couldn’t help it, I—!

TEENIE: You were showing off for the mechanics!

CHICK: I, I, alright I was! But your ass was just so…I couldn’t help it. You have a fine, fine ass. To Teenie’s ass!

DOUG: Should I drink to that?

TEENIE: Sure! To my ass! ( They drink.) Anyway, (To DOUG.) I got the job. So say what you want about the car business but I just say, thank God I’m employed! But we didn’t get together for a while after that, eh Chick?

CHICK: We did not. And I don’t think I saw your ass for like, another six months. She wore a cardboard box over her shoulders like a Halloween costume.

TEENIE: I did not!

CHICK: When she was on the floor she wore a big caftan, like Maude, so I couldn’t even imagine her ass.

TEENIE: I never did! I, what do they say, I eyed him from afar. I watched him at his desk or, talking to a customer and, I don’t know, there was something about him. He was just different, sweeter. Kind.

CHICK: She’s making this up.

TEENIE: He brought me coffee and a donut every day for a month.

CHICK: I felt guilty!

TEENIE: No, you liked me. Anyway. I guess it’s not the most romantic story, he didn’t sweep me away to Paris or anything, but… It’s the one I’ll tell our kids.

CHICK: Oh, Dad touched my ass, that’s why we’re together. Lovely.

TEENIE: I’ll word it differently. So DOUG: How did you and your wife meet?

DOUG: Ah, in med school actually.

TEENIE: That’s sweet, young doctors in love.

DOUG: She was afraid of needles so I used to do her I.V.s for her.

TEENIE: Oh I could never do that. Would you put my I.V.s in for me, Chick?

CHICK: (Making drinks.) Sure, sweetie. How is Margie, Doug?

DOUG: Good. Good. She says hi.

CHICK: Hi Margie.

TEENIE: It’s so sad she couldn’t come. Do you know where Chick and I went on our first date to?

CHICK groans and covers his eyes with his hands.

(Smiles.) Well, he wanted to take me to a screening of Behind the Green Door—

CHICK throws up his hands apologetically.

But I knew what that was. So instead we went to Swiss Chalet.

DOUG: My God. And you’re marrying him?

TEENIE: He didn’t order any fries because he was trying to lose weight so he just ate all of mine. Can you believe I stuck with you after that date? Can you?

CHICK: (Moans.)