Diamonds of Truth: For Successful Personal Relationships

By Linda Christensen and Norma Strange

Diamonds of Truth reveals truths about personal relationships that few people discover on their own.

The discovery of these truths is like entering a dark room, turning on the lights, and finding diamonds of truth.

The book presents diamonds of truth from the Bible. The

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Dec 9, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685568566

Book preview

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Diamonds of Truth

for Successful personal relationships

Linda Christensen and Norma Strange

(Previously titled Mission ImPossible)

Trilogy Christian Publishers

Tustin, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

Diamonds of Truth

Copyright © 2022 by Linda Christensen and Norma Strange

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.

Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 978-1-68556-855-9

E-ISBN: 978-1-68556-856-6

Acknowledgements

Praise God for His amazing love and guidance.

This book presents the dream to communicate the truths in this book to children and grandchildren, sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews, best friends, Christian and non-Christian friends, and as many others as possible. For many years, this dream seemed hopeless. However, God’s direction and presence in recent circumstances has allowed the revised publication of this book.

Thank you for your time and consideration of this book. Thank you in advance for reading the book. Our desire and purpose for writing is to illuminate some truths about personal relationships that few people discover on their own. Discovering these truths is like entering a dark room, turning on the lights, and finding diamonds—diamonds of truth.

We are honored and thrilled for you to take the time to read this book and to look prayerfully for these diamonds of truth.

In Christ’s Love,

Linda Christensen & Norma Strange

Dedication

Each of us believed, received, and confessed faith in Jesus as young teenagers. We dedicate this book to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, and to Linda’s husband, Don, and Norma’s husband, Al, as well as to our children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, and friends.

Don and Linda enjoyed almost thirty-two years of marriage before Don went home to heaven in 2015. Praise God for loving relationships, specifically their children: Dagny, Eric and Jean, Kira and Mike, Brett, and Tiffany; and their grandchildren: Jerry and Toni, Danielle, Ethan, Andrew, Christian, Wyatt, and Emily.

Al and Norma celebrated their thirty-seventh wedding anniversary in 2021. Thank God for the love of their children: Dawn and Dave, Michelle and Matt; and their grandchildren: Mason, Andrew, Britney, Ainsley, and Lena.

We dedicate this book with sincere praises to God. We are grateful to God for the persons listed above and for our parents: Maurice and Vera; sisters and brothers: Larry and Donna, Diana and Allen, Marvin, Robert and Susan, and Kenneth; and our blended families: Beverly and J.W., Jeff, and many other relatives and friends who have modeled and shared true Christian love.

We thank each encourager of this project. Only God knows everyone who contributed to achieving this dream. We express sincere gratitude to Tiffany Christensen, Kira Christensen Durham, Michelle Hutchens, Candace Deans, Dave Shreve, Gregg Hauss, Jamie Fish, and especially the persons who provided thoughts for the following pages.

Comments & Endorsements

The hardest work you will ever do is maintaining good relationships. The world teaches you to expect a quid-pro-quo; you give to get. If you are not fulfilled, it is their fault, and you can just move on, close off, or engage in other self-defeating behavior that leaves us unsatisfied. Jesus says that He has come to give us abundant life that is fulfilling. The Bible says to give and expect nothing in return and then God Himself will fulfill you. This book provides practical aids to follow Christ’s example to die to self, take up your cross, and be Christlike in your relationships. The text provides many examples of how to replace actions that lead to discouragement and distance in relationships with actions that lead to encouragement and growth. When you give Christlike love to others it will be returned to you, …give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For the measure you give will be the measure you get back (Luke 6:38). Are you willing to trust God on His Word? If you are frustrated with the quality of your relationships and you are ready to try God’s way according to His Word, then this book can provide many helpful tips to replace harmful behaviors and show Christ’s love in all situations.

Dr. Timothy Manuel, Rudyard B. Goode Professor of Finance,

University of Montana, Missoula, MT

This book takes a refreshingly honest look at our human frailties and how, through the power of the Word of God, they can be overcome.

Dr. Ken C. Snead, professor of accounting,

Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, OH

Authors Christensen and Strange have provided a valuable resource that strikes at the heart of our existence: relationships and encouragement. Their practical approach makes this book both a blessing and a ready guide for life. I heartily recommend it and encourage you to read the book and apply its timeless principles.

Dr. Michael Spradlin, president,

Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary, Cordova, TN

Relationships that are real are always challenging. Linda and Norma provide scenarios that aid us in evaluating our roles in important relationships and invite us to consider what Jesus would do. If you want to improve your relationships—marital, family, friends, or business—spend some time with this book.

Connie Inglish, retired assistant vice president

for employer services,

The Pension Fund of the Christian Church, Indianapolis, IN

This book offers much encouragement for those who struggle in negative and discouraging personal relationships. The application of the Scriptures to these difficult issues is excellent. Thank you for writing such an encouraging and needed book.

Brenda Smith, retired adjunct teacher,

Southwest Tennessee Community College, Memphis, TN

Dr. Linda Christensen has done a marvelous job of blending together her training, her personal experience, and her love for the Word of God into a timely tool to assist you in managing and surviving some of life’s challenging situations. The book includes many practical suggestions for applying the ideas into your life.

Phil Newberry, retired minister of pastoral care,

Bellevue Baptist Church, Memphis, TN

This book provides interesting and eye-opening ways to approach real-life situations. Its experience-based scenarios are useful to motivate better understanding of us as human beings. It is a valuable reference for those striving to have good and meaningful relationships.

Pettchu Ting, friend, Singapore, Asia

Goals

This book was written specifically to:

 Emphasize Christ’s redemptive gift to each true believer—the Holy Spirit’s power to replace natural human tendencies with Christlike behaviors.

 Reflect our passionate desire to provide the impetus and momentum for transformed relationships with God first and then with everyone else.

 Take the subject of discouragement and create a book about enlightenment.

 Explore details behind behaviors and illuminate opportunities for behavioral changes—diamonds of truth.

 Encourage greater depths of understanding about how our hearts and minds affect our behaviors.

 Emphasize the heart changes that are so essential for behavioral changes.

 Describe scenarios or life dramas, illuminating pathways for specific behavioral changes.

 Produce a fast read and a valuable reference book.

Contents

Acknowledgements iii

Dedication iv

Comments & Endorsements viii

Goals x

1. Vision: Purpose and Intended Audience 1

Mission Impossible→Mission ImPossible4

Diamonds of Truth 5

You Can Change Only Your Own Behavior 7

2. Roles: Protagonists and Recipient 9

3. Environment for Discouragement 13

4. Examples: Scenarios of Discouragement 19

Power Plays 22

Expecting Immediate Response(s) 24

Refusing To Accept A No Answer 26

Cutting Communication 28

Name-Calling Or Bashing 30

Using Veiled Attack(s) 32

Being Negative, Negative, Negative 34

Insisting Upon An Apology 36

Passing Judgment Via Performance Testing 38

Zeroing In On Worst Aspects Of Performance 40

Seeming Impossible To Please 42

Transferring Anger 44

Justification Ploys 46

Using Overstatements 48

Justifying Judgment 50

Pursuing Antagonistic Attack(s) 52

Projecting Frustations onto Recipients 54

Escape Routes 56

Assigning Or Delegating Tasks 58

Rejecting Ideas 60

Repositioning the Relationship 62

Conveying Double Messages 64

Initiating Uncertainty 66

Using Manipulation 68

Professing Martyrdom 70

Indulging in Substitution Dreams 72

Discouragement: Recognizable and Identifiable 74

5. Defense Mechanisms: Reactions to Protagonist’s Role 75

Take Defensive Position 78

Pursue A Lifelong Quest To Prove Yourself 82

Believe You Are Perfectly Okay the Way You Are 84

Justify Impatience 86

Nurture Jealousy 88

Seek Comfort Via a Bad Habit....................90

Refuse to Quit Indulging in a Bad Habit.......92

Pursue Best Defense Is Superb Offense 94

Strive to Be Successful in the Protagonist’s Role 98

Determine to Be and Prove You Are Right 100

Pursue Self-Sufficiency and Total

Independence 102

Refuse to Set and/or Prioritize Personal

Goals 104

Indulge in Wishful Thinking 106

Choose Friends Recklessly 108

Throw in the Towel 110

View Every Opportunity or Challenge

Negatively 114

Refuse to Believe in Change for the Better 116

Pretend to Be Innocent Until Proven Guilty 118

Resolve That You Will Not Care 120

Believe The Lie That Everyone Is Against You 122

Resolve to Avoid or Reject Others 124

Become Dishonest with Your True Feelings 126

Seek to Escape Life 128

Penalize 130

Fake or Minimize Cooperation 134

Using Jokes to Camouflage Aggression 136

Be Vengeful 138

Resolve to Ignore Anyone Else’s Beliefs or Feelings 140

Rebel by Being Wasteful or Destructive of

Property 142

Refuse to Acknowledge the Distinction

Between Penalties and Consequences 144

Use Purchasing to Penalize 146

Use Sexual Encounters to Penalize 148

Defense Mechanisms: Destructive and Tragic 150

6. Rebirth: Dominant Preference for Protagonist’s

Role 151

Dominant Protagonist 153

7. Metamorphosis: Recipient to "Dominant

Protagonist" 154

8. Results: Tragic Outcomes versus Preferred

Outcomes 162

Behavior: Hurt Someone (Unintentionally or Intentially) 168

Behavior: Observe Someone’s Pain 173

9. Attitudes: Discouragement Modes 179

Driven by Independence 185

Incapable of Viewing Own Perspective

Objectively 185

Incapable of Viewing Recipient’s Side 186

Supersensitive to Criticism 187

Reluctant to Take or Trust Advice from

Anyone 188

Refuses to Be Entangled with Relationships 189

Fatalistic 190

Envisions Few Choices or Alternatives 190

Reluctant to Take Responsibility 191

I Think I Can’t 192

Impossible 193

Denial of Reality 194

Denies Own Attitudes and Feelings 194

Tends to Shoot the Messenger 195

Denies the Risks af a Bad Habit 196

Prefers Living in Fantasy or Denial of

Reality 197

Justifies Lies or Half-Truths 198

Fears Partnership and Commitment 199

Fears Abandonment 200

Jealous of Attention 201

Pursue Christlike Character 202

10. Hallelujah: With God All Things Are Possible! 203

"I am the LORD, the God of All Mankind. Is

Anything Too Hard for Me?" (Jeremiah 32:27) 203

Believe God 205

Love God 206

Love 206

Pray 207

Be Honest 207

Forgive 208

Find and Replace 208

Be Generous and Extend Grace 209

Reject Evil 209

Be Joyful and Merciful 210

Be Strong and Courageous 210

Live So Others Can See Your Faith by Your

Deeds 210

Reject Your Natural Human Tendencies to React by Doing What Comes Naturally 211

Mission Impossible→Mission ImPossible212

Diamonds of Truth 214

Chapter 1

Vision: Purpose

and Intended Audience

This book reveals truths about personal relationships that few people discover on their own. Discovery of these truths is like entering a dark room, turning on the lights, and finding diamonds of truth. The book’s main goal is to motivate you to replace the seemingly impossible with Mission ImPossible and encourage you to discover what changes you can make to improve your life and your personal relationships.

Self-help books seem to be so plentiful. Who can justify another? What makes this book valuable? What important concepts does it present? What unique content does it contain? Why invest your precious leisure time to read it?

How could so many self-improvement books exist and yet coexist alongside so much blindness and ineffectiveness? Men and women seem to embrace widespread skepticism about the wisdom of expecting to be able to discover behavioral changes to improve personal relationships. Three interconnected Christian truths provide the foundation for some of this skepticism.

First, too many books omit or ignore the ultimate truth. Jesus’s fulfillment of His unique mission in this world is the ultimate truth. Jesus is the Redeemer of lost mankind. Jesus Himself said, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6).

Second, too many people do not believe