Nostalgic Musings of a Roamer

By John C.H. Chia

Reminiscences of a simple man's partaking of love and life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Oct 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9781543771855

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Copyright © 2022 by John ‘Harry’ C.H. Chia.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Contents

Foreword

Stardust Memories

May And December

Beyond Infatuation

Your Gifts To Me

Unfailingly I Turn To You

Is It Love?

Fire…

…And Ice

No Peace of Mind

The Saddest Part

The Squabble

The Return

Parting

The Intractable Heart

The Facade

Then And Now

Tramping The Streets

The Lost Image

Strangers When We Meet

Unlike Before

Is There One Spark Still Alight?

Is It Too Late?

Jealousy

Dry Seeds

Too Old, Too Late

Alienation

Obstinacy

It Used To Be…

Captive

The Sad Truth

Simple Things I

Simple Things II

Lines For A Wife

A Sonnet To Three Daughters

I Remember

Straitjacketed Kids

What Do Our Children Say?

Friends

My Daughters

The Purple Dusk Of Twilight Time…

To You… My Widow

Chasing A Dream

The Unwanted Father

Thanksgiving

Writing Rhymes

The Plateau Years

People I Wish To Revisit

Be It Song Or Verse

I Wouldn’t Say

Twilight Song

Why Not Me?

Incognito

Why Am I Angry?

A Father’s Thoughts

Character Blight

Vacant Chair

Epigraph

Writing Rhymes

Verses Written in Water

What My Friend Told Me

Backseat Driver

Not Up To Expectation

The Brush-Offs

From A Woman’s Point

When You’re In Trouble

Angels And Demons

Sadist

The Illusionist

The Philanderer

Pen Sketches

Events And Auras

Bungler?

Transgressions

Undeserved Blessings

Target Of Wrath

I Sense A Storm

In Control

Euphoria

Doing Nothing Busily

Doing Nothing Busily

Unexpected Careers

The Hidden Passion

My Perennial Rose

Love’s Envoy

She’s A Classic

I Don’t Love Her Less

She Excites Me

Dichotomy

This Stoic Sister

Snob

Breakup

A Past Misstep

End Of The Line

This Geriatric

My Wake

After Life On Earth

A Medley of Tones

In Gratitude

The Highest Praise

You Made My Life Glow

A Beacon

Hot And Cold

Millstone

Split Three Ways

Confession Of Someone To Disown

The Letter

Shut Him Out

Figurine

Original Self

Peace Of Mind

A Man Of Many Parts

My Dark And Positive Sides

Woe And Joy

The Negative Side

Redesign My Life?

Who? Me?

His Gambling Passion

Grandnanny’s Woes

Miscellany

Unmissed, Unsought

Light-headed?

An Old Road

For Eternity?

Hold My Hand

Tattered Tapestry

Who Am I, Truly?

Chronicling My Life

Trespasses

The Sick Snob

Intriguing

Civil Infringements

Too Late

A Staccato Life

Nostalgia

A Person Above Par

A Millisecond Message

You’re In My Heart

The Lantern

Disillusionment (Two Letters)

He’s Hollow

Conceit

Master Of Mediocrity

Times And Personages

Second Rate

Me And My Cousin

Buddies Apart

At Loggerheads

Whither Love And Devotion?

Carping

Too Much Fluff

Real, But Without Substance

Riding The Swings

Life Has Been Good To Him

Blessed

Remodel

Her Song

Upswing And Downswing

An Evergreen Song?

Alter Ego

What’s On Your Mind?

Letting His Mind Roam

A Nasty Piece Of Work

Odium

The Pessimist

Rant And Rave

Elevation And Depression

A World Of Her Own

Who Cares?

Partialities

A New Fount

Cut His Directionless Loop

Resplendent Love

There’s No Easy Answer

Seeking Assurances

If

I Place Her On A Pedestal

Hiccups Of Life!

Age-related Woes

Fears Of An Old Man

Remembrances

He Liked To Walk In The Rain

Mock Epitaph

Reflections and Shadows

People Watching

A Saving Grace

Someone’s Mirror

Of Minor Importance

Clumsy Clod

An Irritating Chap

The Waiter

Outdated

Demigods Tweaked

An Old Man’s Whim

Help Her

Show And Tell

With Affection

His Last Page

If I Call Your Name

Horizons Blue

Take Time To Recall

If Not For Them

Ruminations

Flights Of Fancy

I Hear Distant Laughter

Betwixt

My Cluttered Brain

Nature Rules

Nonconformity

Optimism Of Youth

I Made A Mistake

Why Am I Blessed?

Searching For A Spot

The Tree

At My Wake

I Walk By Your Side

On A Dark Night

Once in a While

They Had Been Good To Me

A Rogue’s Bliss

Lacquered Sweetness

A Beautiful Person (Her Attractions)

It’s Her Choice

To Bond Or Not To Bond?

Dreaming

I Loved You Because…

Silence

Towards Placing Anger Under Wraps

No Substitute

Insincerity

Wet Blankets

Awkward Moments

Deserting Parents

Ill-matched Couple

What Goes Around…

The Brother’s Agenda

Revenge

In Love With A Shade

I Cling To My Eccentricities

A Glass Of Whisky

The Loner

Coming To A Close

Leaves from a Mundane Tree

The Scribe

Guests Of My Domain

New Dreams

Two Truths

Encapsulated

Fragrance And Flavour

Only Trust

A Not Uncommon Story

My Pearl Girl

Whispering Into The Wind

I’m A Merit Snob

What Noble Mission?

This Flamboyant Guy

Cardboard Gentleman

Selfish Introvert

The Eccentric Fellow

A Grey Persona

Inner Demons

Mother And Child

Imaginary Life

Aches And Pains

Nature Took Its Course

Mental Block

Under Confinement

Man In The Mirror

Avarice

A Salute To A Pal

To Try To Prove His Theory

Unknown Brother

A Long-lost Pal

A Touching Moment

As I Am, I Am Not!

Sketches and Silhouettes

Fashion A Time Together

My Portrait Of You

A Song To Your Presence

Our Companionship

Wake Up To The Precious And Rare

My Memory Beacon

Come Take The Ride

Life’s An Enigma

Memory Photographs

Not In Tandem

Trundling Along

What Tomorrow Brings

My Protective Net

In Silent Mode

Night Walks

Two Eyes

Helpless Anger

Free Choice Negated

Intimations Of Mortality

Two Lost Souls

A Monday Blanket

Climbing

The Mannequin-maker

The Danseuse

The Rain

The Interstellar Link

Meanderings of an Aged Heart

Flippant Greetings

Meeting Old Colleagues

A Sad Story

Unborn Child

Behind A Shuttered Window

Opium Addict Por Por

Honestly Speaking

The Arbiter

Idiot Savant

Save Five Seconds, Two Seconds?

The Fall

An Old Man’s Confession

His Own Logic

His Anger

Nostalgic Notes

To Win Recognition

Avaunt Love! Avaunt Passion!

We Share A Rapport

Reading Between The Lines

I’ve Chosen To Loaf

Complacency

Why Keep Silent?

Reclusive

Remember, Remember!

Positions Of Remembrance

Thoughts Unrepose

It’s A Fact Of Life

Love Is Blind

Looking Back

A Portrait In White

Whither The Light?

I Turn To You

Nostalgic Musings of a Roamer

Tranquil Hour

A Star Charm

My Black Spot

Secrets In My Mind

I Have Come To Grips With My Pain

Of What Significance Is She To You?

Reality And The Image

The Relationship Gradient

If I Could Write A Song

I Sighted A Waterfall Rainbow

A Note To A Gracious Person

Life’s Brutal Truth

My Mind’s Gallery

A Lyric In Search Of A Tune

You Don’t Know Me

Simple Mementos

The Purveyor

Foreword

I have always known that I am who I am because some others had influenced me, helped to mould me, taught me, affected my way of thinking and deciding the paths I have chosen in my life.

I am but a mediocre person, not too healthy in my youth, not too accomplished in learning and work. But I have been blessed all these years by accidental choices, what should have been failures turning out to yield fortunate outcomes. Many boys and girls have uplifted me to enjoy great and – undeserved, I thought – heartwarming times.

As is said, my cup runneth over.

I am not religious, I just accept philosophical judgements. But maybe someone up there likes me.

So much I owe to my parental family, my own family, my wife’s family, my many friends … some occupying places in my heart even now.

I send this note to you to thank you.

H.

Stardust

Memories

I feel I can trust her with anything,

What she does, she does with delicacy!

Few women can match her understanding

She shows the utmost consideration!

Few people are as patient and loving,

Her humanity makes her lovable!

Her presence in a room is most soothing,

She is an inspiration, magic in motion!

I want to win your love, it’s what I seek,

But we don’t get to meet week after week.

I’ve fallen in love with you earnestly!

Yet it means nothing if you don’t love me!

I cling to my faith I can win your heart.

Is it a wrong presumption on my part?

May And December

Among the treasured moments in my life

I count the happy times I spend with you.

In a world of hatred, woe, pain and strife,

They’re like jewels only bestowed to few.

What makes a rose blush in morning dew?

Why do birds chorus in the morning sun?

Why does the sight of a waist-length hairdo

Excite in me the image of someone?

I tell myself, "There’s little danger – none –

That we could fall in love with each other;

We’re just good friends, good companions for fun.

She’s early May and I’m late December!"

But it’s an idle protest on my part,

For love has already captured my heart!

I raise my eyes to your fair countenance

That you may glimpse in them a glow, a sign

Affirming that always in your presence

A fervent, joyous light of love will shine!

O, let me retain your warm hand in mind,

Till the fierce ardour, flaming in my heart,

Ignites in you a love so clear and fine

It would break your heart if we were to part!

I confess, when we first met, at the start,

There was no hint of infatuation.

Now, love’s roots have dug in so deep that art

Or ruse cannot conceal my devotion

To you! Yesterday was my day of bliss,

You smiled at me and gave my cheek a kiss!

Beyond Infatuation

On this day, I bring you a lone red rose

As a token of my adoration.

It reveals a feeling – not a sham pose –

Which goes beyond mere infatuation!

Because of you, I’ve changed in many ways,

Certain inhibitions I’ve overthrown;

Being with you uplifts my mood most days,

Brighter, sharper have my faculties grown.

I love you staunchly, unashamedly!

Yes, you’ve warned me of hurts which may arise,

Of disappointments that may sting deeply.

But love’s such a scarce gift, it’s worth the price!

I love you deeply, unrepentantly!

If the time comes I feel I’m intruding,

I’ll take my leave and grieve secludedly;

No obligation am I imposing.

My heart may cling to this love –

But you’re free!

My heart swells with elation when you’re near,

With you beside me I feel so cheerful!

I wish I could write a song you could hear

About a woman I deem beautiful!

The day looks brighter when I see your smile,

You’re unassuming but bold, it’s your style!

I would strut with delight if I could claim

I had penned a love song which has your name!

Writing about you enlivens my day,

You warm the heart of a man old and grey!

Your Gifts To Me

Love and passion have been your gifts to me.

There was a time when love was a mere word,

And passion meant reason and judgement blurred

By anger, excitement, hate or pity.

There was a time when love meant a fancy,

Just my ego’s desire to be humoured,

To show the world that I too was admired.

Now I do not need such a fantasy!

Your love for me is deep and astounding,

It bothers you not that I am older.

We share a passion strong and comforting,

When you are near I feel spryer, bolder!

You are the fount and cause of my life’s zest;

You, the guiding light with which I am blest!

Love is the only thing I can offer,

I lead a life of mediocrity,

In accomplishments I am a pauper.

How could you even lose your heart to me?

We have had little chance to meet alone,

Your feelings for me you have yet to show.

Take care, I may prove to be a millstone,

I am less than what you deserve, you know!

To you I try not to be a burden,

In your life you have had enough sadness.

To me you are a beautiful person,

Someone who shows tolerance and kindness.

In my life you are a ray of sunbeam

You calm my spirit and spur me to dream!

Unfailingly I Turn To You

I shall compare your smile, honey,

To the rainbow that garlands the azure sea,

And prize as much your soft, warm eyes

As the jewels that spangle the velvet skies!

When I awaken every morn,

Songbirds trill your name to greet the golden dawn;

And when I fall asleep at night,

Your face is the last thing that fades with the light!

Unfailingly I turn to you

Whenever my world seems forbidding and blue;

And, too often, in your absence

Life seems like a rose that has lost its fragrance!

The evidence is overwhelmingly clear –

It’s you I love, my dearest dear!

What draws me to her is her graciousness,

Her luminous eyes mirror her spirit

of rare tolerance, patience and kindness –

A woman such as she is exquisite!

Is It Love?

I look forward each time to our meeting

And, though sometimes we don’t exchange a word,

Just a look from you is enough greeting

To make my heart soar like a winging bird!

Songs of my youth – sweet, sad songs I’ve not heard

For a long, long time – haunt my memory;

In my mind, impossible hopes are stirred,

And you galvanise my dreams constantly.

I need you and I pledge my devotion,

But you brush me aside and glibly say

That what I feel is infatuation

And, if I’m patient, it will fade away!

A broken heart shows not in the mirror,

But people read it from my demeanour!

Fire…

Beneath your imperturbability,

Beneath that mask of nonchalance you show,

Veiled by your shell of aloofness, I know

There lies a sparkling personality.

Beneath your unpredictability,

Veiled by your jests, the shy glances you throw,

Lies a spellbinding charm, to which I owe

This fact – my heart’s now in captivity.

But I recognise ’tis a hope