Stepping Into Me

By Lyndal R Schultz

Stepping Into Me is a true story that will help empower you to step into your truth.

"When your life as you know it is blown apart, you can either lay down and die, or fight and rebuild.

I chose to rebuild."

When Lyndal was given a cancer diagnosis only months after her mother received a similar one, she wondered if the universe was playing a huge cosmic joke on her. Rather than give up, she chose to use this experience to grow. This is her story, one of self-empowerment, self-discovery and taking the time to understand who you are at your soul's essence.

Lyndal's experiences of finding spiritual, physical and emotional self-acceptance and security, after facing devastating circumstances, will inspire you to discover your own soul's truth, and maybe even encourage you to invest in loving and appreciating the amazing person that you already are.

"You are, and always will be, your greatest source of knowledge. Think how amazing it would be if you could start to see all your traumatic experiences as blessings and feel confident to walk your own road with wisdom, compassion, and gratitude for yourself and others."
Lyndal...

Drawing on her own experiences and the knowledge she has built up through her life, Lyndal offers a suite of courses to help you unlock your own inner wisdom.

Step into your own power with her Stepping into Me courses and Your Inner Oracle monthly group sessions- more on her website.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stepping Into Me
• Release date: Oct 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9780645625219

Lyndal R Schultz

Lyndal is a self-empowered divine feminine whose individual mission in this lifetime is to help people to discover how to empower themselves and be able to step into their truth, of who they are”. Lyndal works as a counsellor, mentor and coach, helping women with the tools to overcome any obstacles they may face in their lives. She is the founder and creator of the Stepping Into Me suite of courses and the author of the book of the same name. Her spiritual growth has always been, & continues to be, a significant and important part of her life. Although Lyndal has experienced more challenges in her life, than the average person would experience in a few lifetimes, her adversity and spiritual strength have enabled her to look at her experiences with gratitude and learn from the wisdom they have provided. Lyndal is a kind, loving and happy soul who loves life, creativity, passion, nature, connection, unity and unconditional love of self and others. She is inspired by sharing her learning insights, and wisdom with you, in the hopes to empower you with the information and tools to overcome any obstacles you may face in your journey through life. “You are, and always will be, your greatest source of knowledge, and I can help you to unlock that information. Think how amazing it would be if you could start to see all your experiences as blessings, and feel confident to walk your own road with your wisdom, compassion, and gratitude for yourself and others.” Lyndal…

Book preview

Introduction...

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This is a story about my journey, from MY perspective.

I’ve learnt that you can only tell your story through

your eyes,

your lens,

your point of view,

your truth.

This is why my story is not about my Mum’s cancer journey or what she experienced or learnt along the way, as that is not my story to tell.

It belongs to her and no one else.

People look at their life through their own eyes and lens of perception, based on their experiences, beliefs, conditioning, and patterning.

Everyone is right in their truth.

People remember events based on their viewpoint, not actually how it was from a higher perspective or for others involved in the experience, and that’s ok. No one and everyone, are right and wrong; it all just depends on where you are standing.

You will notice that I only mention doctors, charities and people’s names that inspired and supported me. My belief is to focus on the energy of the good rather than the lack. Doctors and people that were not supportive or helpful, will not be mentioned by name. While I have gratitude for the lessons, they taught me and the part that they played in these teachings, I don’t want to invest any more energy or focus on these individuals, by recognising who they are

Besides, other people’s mistakes and bad behaviour, however painful at the time, teach us something about ourselves and whom we don’t want to be like. That is a blessing in disguise.

I’ve written this from a place of total honesty, vulnerability and truth. I hope you can take something from my experiences and maybe even discover something new about who you are.

Much love,

Lyndal....

xxx

Part 1 - Where To Begin?

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People say that your life can change in an instant, but I don’t think anyone truly believes it will happen to them. My life fell into this category one Friday night after work. What was about to occur would impact the next 12 years and completely change the course of my life.

I had been working at an international bank and burning the candle at both ends. That was pretty much what my life was like back then. I was in a cycle of work hard, play hard, burn out, and start again. This cycle was my patterning, based on my conditioning, experiences and beliefs, although I didn’t consciously know it at the time.

This Friday in question, I was having the usual Friday night drinks at the local bar with a few friends and colleagues when I got a call from Mum. She was distraught and was struggling to find the words to tell me. What’s wrong? I asked, It can’t be that bad, surely.... She took a deep breath and said, I’ve cancer, primary peritoneal cancer, which is a rare form of ovarian cancer. The rest of the conversation seems to fade into a blur, but I remember saying I would head straight home and drive over there to see her. I ended the call, burst into tears, and started to make my way home to pick up my car.

Before I continue the story any further, let me go back a few steps to give you some context about mum and my relationship. My Mum was my best friend; she was my soul mate and my parents (yes, plural, but that is another story for another time); she had been there for me since day dot and always put her two kids first. My brother, Mum, and I used to laugh about how our family was like a Mini Mafia – mess with one of us, and you had to deal with all of us. We were all very close and always there for one another.

My Mum was one of those people everyone fell in love with when they met her. She had the most beautiful soul that radiated outward from her centre. She could talk effortlessly to people from all walks of life, of all ages. She had compassion and understanding for all she came into contact with, regardless of how different they were from her. She was brilliant and could master anything she chose to do, though this wasn’t represented in official certification as her schooling was interrupted by unforeseen circumstances.

I remember this used to frustrate me as a kid when I was learning to do things. Still, I later admired this ability as I understood that she injected love into everything she did, making it effortless and easy for her and all involved.

Mum and I had an unconventional mother/daughter relationship. We would talk about literally anything. Yes, I mean anything, from spiritual healing modalities to corruption in politics or religion, from taboo health topics to the state of my sex life with the guy I was currently seeing at the time. There was absolute trust and unconditional love between us, even if we didn’t see eye to eye on everything. Not saying we didn’t fight; hell yeah, we had some rippers. I remember hurtling household items across the living room at each other when I was in my mid-teens. We both had a fiery temper, but it took us both to be pushed to the absolute brink to lose it.

So, who was I before all of this? I was always a free spirit. The need for travel and adventure was persistent in me; I was brave, confident, and could do anything, even when I was terrified. I worked hard, played hard, loved life with passion and creativity, and always was very spiritually connected to my higher self, though I didn’t know the term for it as a child.

I would love to take myself on holiday adventures, trekking off around the world, discovering new places, and myself in the process. I was comfortable with my own company and was confident enough to engage in conversation with people I met along the way—some of whom have remained good friends to this day.

I loved making, changing, and repurposing things and was creative in every area of my life. I suppose this came from my Mum, as she was like that as well. Everything I looked at would inspire me. Ideas presented themselves to me thick and fast, and I always had some crazy new project on the go.

I was fiercely loyal to my friends and family and would happily and frequently put myself in the firing line or give up my money or time if someone else needed it. For this reason, trust was crucial to me. If you betrayed my confidence, it was not likely at all that I would offer up a second chance at my friendship and trust. Sure, I could forgive quickly enough, but forgetting was a very different story.

Spiritually, even as a small child, I had always known that there was something bigger than me out there, though I could never name it or classify it with a fitting label. I remember Mum used to say that when I was about 4 or 5, I would run into her room at night and tell her there were people in my room that wanted to tell me things and that I would often tell strangers messages from their loved ones that had passed on. Mum was so supportive of this and always encouraged me to not be afraid of what I saw and that it was ok to be different. My psychic abilities strengthened as I got older, and I started meditating when I was 16 as a way to calm my mind and connect to my soul. A practice I still do every day.

The other side of my life was quite different. I worked in a high-pressure job in a corporate setting which meant that a twelve to sixteen-hour working day was more of the rule rather than an exception. As the eldest child, I was pretty bossy and headstrong and was known to be stubborn, especially when someone told me to do something I didn’t want to do. Mum used to joke with her friends that if she wanted me to do something that she knew I wouldn’t like, she would push my buttons and suggest the opposite as a path forward, and I would stubbornly go down the opposite direction. Yes, as most stubborn people would relate, in some cases, I cut off my nose to spite my face simply to prove a point, but in some cases, this trait got me through the most challenging lessons in my life.

I was also outspoken and blunt. I tended to blurt out what was on my mind, particularly when it was something I was passionate about. Unfortunately, this didn’t always go well with the people I was blurting it out to, and I unintentionally hurt some people in the past with my brutal honesty.

I found that fighting for the underdog was easy for me. I believed in fairness and equality, as I still do today, but I struggled to stand up for myself. My boundaries with close friends and family were almost non-existent. I would sacrifice whatever I was doing to help those I cared about, even if this was to my own detriment. Once I had rescued them and, in the process, depleted myself from self-neglect, I would get so frustrated with myself. Sometimes this frustration resulted in resentment if I didn’t feel appreciated by the person for my self-sacrifice. Subconsciously, I had a hidden expectation that my family and close friends would support me the same way I did them, and when that didn’t happen, I would stop investing in them and start disappearing from their life.

Relationship-wise, it had been a rocky road filled with abuse, betrayal, abandonment and physical violence. Though I didn’t know it at the time, my heart was closed off; I had shut myself down and was fearful of men. I would look for men that were not available in an effort not to get hurt and allow me to rescue them. My subconscious beliefs were that they couldn't hurt you if they weren’t invested. As you can imagine, this led to a toxic cycle of breadcrumbing and unfulfilled relationships. But more about this later on.

Back to Mum, driving to her place, I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. I knew I had to be the brave one and her rock, but I wasn’t quite sure just how I would manage that.

I recognised that I was in shock at what I had heard. Looking back now, I know that I had jumped into the dreaded fear and doubt rescue mode, which had become an all too familiar pattern in my life.

When I arrived at Mum’s the family was already there. I gave her a big hug, and we both started crying. I told her I loved her and that we would all get through this together, and I meant it, but I didn’t know how that would work in a practical sense. Mum had supported me all my life, and I wasn’t going to let her down now when she needed help the most.

Part 2. The Brave and Clueless Carer

Chapter 1 - The Good And The Average Doctors...

As a child, I drove Mum crazy by constantly asking, but why?. She used to remind me about this as I grew up, as I never seemed to have lost that curiosity about life. My constant questioning came in handy with the career path I had chosen, but when it came to rare types of cancer or cancer in general, what did I know about all that stuff? Not much. However, I did know how to gather information and be informed, and that was my plan. I would be Mum’s ears and eyes at the doctors and ask all the questions that were not explicit. I would research and dig for all the information I needed to help Mum make informed decisions about her treatment. I intended to fight this for Mum, and my battle weapon of choice at that time was knowledge, logic and intellect.

I took a few weeks off work to get through the big stuff. Mum had major surgery to remove as much of the tumour as possible, and then it was a combination of doctors, specialists, surgeons, and oncologists on overdrive. One appointment after the other, more tests, more tablets, more information to process. I started noticing that there was a pattern emerging with all these medical practitioners. They seemed to all make sure that they told you the worst possible case upfront and, in most cases, would start throwing at you all the available treatments that they intended to use. In some cases, it was like they were telepathically saying, We know you’re going to die from this, so we will use every treatment available to ensure that your family has no recourse for malpractice after your death. I used to call this CYA Mode - or Cover Your Arse Mode, but I will go into that later.

The other thing that bugged me and got me offside with one of Mum’s doctors was how they felt they could accurately predict how long someone had to live. I remember this particular doctor telling Mum that she probably wouldn’t make it past the next 12 months, and I abruptly snapped back at her with, "Do you think you are God?