The Way of Sonship: A Practicum for Sanctification

By Mark L. Graham D. Min.

Something for everyone in this theological practicum of sanctification. The book hones in on the relationship of dire trials to God’s finished goal—the glories of Christ through His people. Intended for all who struggle! This book is a must read for those who face daily battle with intense personal conflict, whether in marriage, at home, or the workplace. The Way of Sonship, is a very personal read with a very hopeful end. It is a linear walk from the intentional trial to the fruitful completion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664273832

Mark L. Graham D. Min.

Pastor Mark L. Graham has served the local church for nearly fifty years. He has written extensively to provide biblical helps for those under his pastoral and counseling care. Founder of the Genesis Ministries, Inc. and adjunct professor of biblical counseling for eight years at the Empire State Baptist Theological Seminary, Dr. Graham holds diplomas and degrees in ministry, counseling, and law. Currently, Pastor Graham resides with his wife, Diane, in Rome, NY, where he mines the riches of God’s Word daily and shepherds the Skyline Baptist Church in Rome. The Grahams have four married children who serve Christ through their local churches. They also enjoy their heritage of fourteen grandchildren, two of whom live at home with Jesus.

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-7384-9 (sc)

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WestBow Press rev. date: 07/27/2022

Unless otherwise indicated, scripture taken from the New King James Version®.

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To my wife, Diane.

There is not a dimension of

my life which has not been spiritually enriched by your Christ like love and example. For all that you are and have done to enhance my life and ministry, I am indebted as your fellow heir in the grace of life.

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

—I Peter 3:7

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 Embracing Rejection

Chapter 2 Harnessing Heartache

Chapter 3 Soul Searching

Chapter 4 Teleological Triumph

Chapter 5 Facilitating the Fullness

Chapter 6 In Sync with Sanctification

Chapter 7 Envision Fullness Forever

Endnotes

Bibliography

About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To the many who have influenced my life, whether in the Sunday School classroom as a child, or those several pastors, teachers and mentors, many of whom are with Jesus; thank you sincerely for your life message. Your lives yet speak volumes.

In acknowledgement of my wife’s countless hours of devotion to this text, to me, and to her Lord. Thank you for being my life’s love and amanuensis.

Thanks to my son, Pastor Nate, and eldest daughter, Julie, who aided me with advice and guidance with those critical areas of study and research. Your expertise should be noted since your input assisted the progress of this book,

To Danielle Duncan, another big thank you. Danielle’s help in line editing, formatting, and those tedious challenges incumbent upon bringing this read to a state of readiness has been simply invaluable. Thank you for being part of my writing team.

There is a sense in which no author can ever claim complete originality. The message God is building through the lives of His servants consist of innumerable resources, including people, events, and circumstances. Context is everything and context is something that only God can orchestrate. Thank you, Lord, for your unrelenting involvement in our lives.

INTRODUCTION

If you struggle in your adversities, this is a book for you. From the perspective of the Bible, the many faces of adversity--- whether rejection, interpersonal conflict, heartache, the very deepest oppression of trying events---are intentional. They are never random. In fact, I remember one of my professors in a counseling class saying, God’s intention in the trials of life is either to bring us to Christ, or to make us more like Him. I never forgot those words from Paul Tripp. For the elect of God, the process of conformity could never be clearer. Biblical sanctification is the way of the cross, the way of sonship. And as Charles Spurgeon writes,

Those who take hold of eternal life will have to fight for it. The way of spiritual life is no easy one; we will have to contest every step of the way.¹

The obvious truth from Scripture for every child of God is this: the cross of Jesus must be borne to the end. This is the plan and the purpose of our redeeming God in the sanctification of our souls. Now, may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (I Thessalonians 5:23).

Trials of course are seen as the means to the end. It’s just the way of the sons of light, and no power outside the throne of God will dissuade that decree! It was the way of the Son of God and it must be the way of His offspring in the Gospel.

We ought to pant after sanctification; we ought to be crying and sighing every day after conformity to Christ.²

Triumph and joy in a pilgrimage that is beset by difficulty can only come about by peering through the lens of divine revelation. The long view of things disables shortsighted funks and slumps. Eyes firmly set upon the goal of Christ will see us home, and grace enables the pursuit of His steps. Hallelujah!

For in bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was entirely appropriate that God --- for whom and through whom all things exist --- should make the source of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For the one who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters. (Hebrews 2:10-11 CSB)

In conclusion, this book is a theological practicum of life’s loftiest venture, highest meditation, and holiest pursuit --- the pursuit of Christ and the way of sonship.

—Dr. Mark L. Graham

It is something infinitely higher and pertaining to a different sphere when we come truly to know God—when we have not merely a belief in His existence, but a distinct consciousness and realization of it and when we can speak of God not as of some personage far away, but as of one who has been a friend to us; one who has ever communed with us as we would talk to a friend. God gives us spiritual vision through Christ, which makes a serious distinction between those who do not know Him. And it is produced by a wondrous change called regeneration, in which darkness passes away and the true light of God dawns on one’s heart and soul.³

—Charles Haddon Spurgeon

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Chapter One

EMBRACING REJECTION

Hesed Encounters

Rejected indeed by men … (1 Peter 2:4)

Arriving to the place in my life, at which I felt prepared to write on the subject at hand, took several years. I have been encouraged, by good brethren, to publish a book on the subject of rejection, for the sake and solace of others. Previously, I thought I might want to make a book out of this theme alone. But now I see my labor much clearer, in the context of Romans 8:29 and the ultimate intention of God that of drawing us to Himself.

Unless God’s people understand the salvific purpose of God, in their particular redemption, life will never seem congruous and will never be lived at its fullest. The noblest existence, the highest purpose, and the surest endeavor that any human—any saint—may embrace, in this existence of time and space, is to reflect Jesus Christ. I have come to realize that this one thing should far exceed any lesser goal, upon which a Christian might put their mind.

The more our minds and hearts ingest this divine reality and revelation, the more our lives will learn unfathomed liberation, from the bondage of human nature. The appropriation of Jesus Christ and the resurrection nature of almighty God are what He has made communicable, by grace, to fallen members of the human race. The pursuit, of this reality, is the grounds for any hope of joy and contentment in all of life.

For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren (Romans 8:28–29).

Thus, the reader will clearly see, throughout all the chapters of this book, its great, cohesive purpose—the glory of Jesus Christ! The subject of rejection will manifest its purest meaning and deepest beauty only in this context. The joy-filled, though suffering, apostle wrote of this blessed truth.

And He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, most gladly, I will rather boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9–10).

Always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body (2 Corinthians 4:10).

Understanding this purpose, along with a very specific context that I will outline shortly, is essential for our discussion. There is another reason that I delayed this book and, specifically, this topic of rejection. Sharing my life experiences, in the area of rejection, does not come from ill motivation, or with any expectation that, by teaching the lessons I have gleaned, I will earn any greater status in heaven. Instead, understanding the correction side of rejection is my goal.

From God’s point of view, a single episode or hardship, in life, is not the issue—it never is! The issue lies in what one becomes, in the process. And holding this in mind, I have waited for personal growth and maturity that come as the reward of enduring hardship. Furthermore, my verbal paint brush is subject to scrutiny, in the sight of God and people. Thus, I can only hope that my portrait is honest, sincere, and above all else, truthful in motivation, with God as my witness. All that being said, let us embark on the journey of understanding what it means to embrace rejection.

Accolade of Rejection

Historically, we understand that the rite of passage, for the accolade of knighthood, was never without grueling training or heroism in combat. The tradition was initiated in the Middle Ages, by kings who favored these loyal subjects of their realm. Sonship was the accolade of Christ; rejection was His rite of passage and His alone, as the Son of Man. The honor bestowed upon Jesus was the honor belonging to one. A living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen of God and precious, according to 1 Peter 2:4. The accolade of sonship was manifest by His being rejected by people.

For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings (Hebrews 2:10).

Likewise, with God’s elect, rejection is essential and necessary to sonship. It is the destiny of those who are being conformed; it is symptomatic of sonship; and it is purposed for passage into His likeness. For God’s children, rejection is the way of regenerate sons!

A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher (Luke 6:40).

It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call those of his household! (Matthew 10:25).

Surely, one of the saddest things, in this pilgrimage of grace, is for Christians to resist the accolade or not to value it for what it is, by a failure to embrace the hesed encounter with God through rejection.

Encountering Hesed

Now, just what is a hesed encounter, you ask? Hesed is an interesting word from the Hebrew Old Testament and is translated into English as marvelous kindness.

Blessed be the Lord, for He has shown me His marvelous kindness in a strong city! (Psalm 31:21).

In Ruth 1:8, Naomi speaks to her daughters-in-law, saying, "Go, return each to her mother’s house. The Lord deal kindly (hesed) with you. The same word is expressed throughout the Psalms in various ways, such as steadfast love or multitude of mercies," depending on the particular translation. Consider hesed in Psalm 136:1, highlighted differently in several translations.

KJV: Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.

ESV: Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.

NASB: Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting.

NIV: Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.

CBS: Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His faithful love endures forever.

The meaning, however, is not elusive to the student of God’s word. God continuously pours hesed onto His own chosen people! His redemptive covenant is born out of His great love and mercy, to undeserving sinners.

But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:4–5).

Hesed is the wonder and motif evident in every step of salvation’s golden chain: foreknowledge (election), predestination (sanctification), calling (summons), justification (declaration), and glorification (likeness). Nothing, in this glorious plan of redemption or in the lives of God’s people, is random! Good or bad, nothing flies in our faces that is not designed by the sovereign hand and loving heart of our God. Jehovah manifests hesed fully, completely, and thoroughly, through Jesus Christ.

That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:17–19).

Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:4–6).

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Despite the beautiful truths spoken in the texts above, what person enjoys the feeling of rejection? I certainly do not and never have.

The Face of Rejection

I remember a particular instance, in which I had a disagreement with my father. But I truly cannot recall what the issue was. My father’s response was usually disproportionate to the disagreement. And any variance, of opinion or difference of thinking, was considered, in our home, as an overt act of rebellion, even if shared in the context of a humble appeal. At times, our input was invited, but (speaking honestly and respectfully) our family knew that, given time (an hour, a day, or even a week), Dad would eventually erupt into irrational and abusive hostilities.

Usually, things got verbal, then physical, dependent upon whether he felt our will was broken, as he measured it. Sure, there were seasons of peace and reprieve, but Dad’s struggles were habitual and always there. They were very much a part of his God-given right and role, as he saw it. Dad believed that a father had the right to yell.

And consequently, there was no lack of instruction, from this perspective, in our home. Regarding this area, there was little to no flexibility. The tight, legal, family setup may have appeared to work, in those early formidable years, but when children grow up in such a family context, conflict is inevitable. And souls are tried, sometimes sorely tried.

So, there I was, home from college, on a sick bed, and with my second bout of mononucleosis. Thankfully, I had just finished my senior college wrestling career, with a national title under my belt. I was overtaken by fatigue, discomfort, and swollen glands. But at least I could eat again, so the school nurse had sent me home to heal. After about two weeks at home, I sensed that my bed rest began to annoy my dad, and that an altercation was waiting to happen.

I realized that it was best to go back to school, though my mother would have me stay. She sensed, however, that things were heating up, so Mom called Dad at his office telling him that she would drop me off so that I could get my car and drive back to school, about an hour and twenty minutes south. Dad was quite agreeable.

When I got to the office, he and another family member were standing in the