Conversations I Will Never Have

By Mark Buchignani

How far will a man go for the perfect woman – dreams, fantasies, conversations, actions?  What's perfect?  That depends on the man, depends on when.  Just met?  One night stand?  Two weeks, two months?  Two years?  Living together?  Married?  Perfection has many facets.

 

Conversations I will Never Have puts these questions, those of Richard Franklin, an introspective accountant, and of Gary Buchanan, an outgoing corporate consultant, with a few from a supporting cast of associates and girlfriends.  Listen in while each explains which facets of perfection – and of life – are most important.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mark Buchignani
• Release date: Jul 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201955403

Mark Buchignani

An avid reader of literary fiction, fantasy, and science fiction, Mark Buchignani has more ‘favorite’ authors than he can count, among them George R. Stewart, John Wain, Martin Amis, John Steinbeck, Margaret Atwood, Nicholson Baker, Richard Flanagan… The tip of the iceberg.  Novels of my own began spilling out in 2005, resulting in, among others, MTee’s Lament, a twist on a post-apocalyptic tale.  Many more narratives followed.  Some are published here; others languish behind “fair use” entanglements. My stuff tends toward societal commentary, presented via normal people who find themselves in unexpected, offbeat, or abnormal circumstances – circumstances replete with threatened or actual upheaval.  The choices these folks make move the action forward and expose brokenness in the culture and in the actors themselves. I’m also a huge Tolkien fan and have written volume one of a loosely-planned five-book set: The Recitation of Ooon.  Though in the same genre as Lord the Rings, Ooon is definitely not Middle Earth, and there are no Hobbits.  Just people trying to find their way while engulfed in a magical upheaval driven by a clash between followers of the ancient ways and those seeking a new, less-fettered life.  The narrator is a thousand-year-old man, trying to see forward, while looking back, as his existence comes to a pre-destined end. And I have devoured everything Theodore Sturgeon and quite a bit of old school SF.  Though I have yet to draft anything within this genre, ideas continually percolate.

Book preview

I

Doctor Marshall

I’m sorry, Mrs. Franklin, we don’t understand what happened, why he lost consciousness.  His blood pressure is fine, his oxygen levels are normal, his heart is sound, and nothing’s wrong with his brain that we can see.  We’re going to continue to run tests.

Melanie Franklin

Thank you, Doctor.  May I stay with him?

Certainly.  We’ll let you know if we need you to step out, so the staff can work.

I hope I won’t be in the way.

No, not at all… Mrs. Franklin, I’m sorry, but I have to ask: does your husband have an Advance Directive?

Yes, he does – we both do.  Who should I…?

I’ll ask Nurse Johnson to speak with you about it.

Thank you.

We’ll contact you when we have more.

_________________________________

She’s with me, smiling, happy – driving.  A snippet of a scene.  Just her presence.  Where’s she going?  Where’s she taking us?  I’m in the back seat.  How can she drive and smile at me at the same time?  I idly wonder this.  But we seem happy.

_________________________________

Richard Franklin

Hey, sorry.  It’s been a day.

Gary Buchanan

"What’s up with you, anyway?  First you blow me off for the movie – it was great by the way.  Madison Simmons, damn. I wouldn’t kick her out of—"

Sorry.  I got caught up at work.

That’s what you said, but—

You’re right.  I’m late, because I bumped into Dannie.  No, I didn’t bump into her.  I spotted her out of the corner of my eye.  She was riding up the escalator at the mall.  I was walking by.  I think she waved at me.

You think?  Was it even her?  Are you dreaming again?

Funny you should put it that way—

Hey, what’re you having?  I almost ordered you a grilled chicken sandwich.

That would’ve been fine.  Or better, a mushroom burger.

Oh, shit.  She’s in your head again, isn’t she?  Sure, she’s hot, but that was years ago.  I wonder what she’s like these days… I bet she’s still a vegetarian.

Hey, hands off!  You’re not her type.

"And you are?"

I was for a few years…

TWO years.

I didn’t realize you were counting.

I always keep score.  The world keeps score, so do I, especially when it comes to girls.

Once a bas—

Hang on, what’s ‘Funny I should put it that way’ mean?

Nothing.  I had an unusual dream about her the night after I saw her.

After you thought you saw her.

Does it matter?

No.  Your reality, your truth.  What dream?

She was driving me, driving us, somewhere.  I was in the back seat.  What’s that about?

That’s too easy.  She’s the boss, she’s wearing the pants, she’s calling the shots, running the show.  Whatever you wanna say.  And she knows it.  You’re along for the ride and can’t do anything about it.  Sound about right?

Before, yes, when we first met.  But now?  I haven’t seen her or talked to her in years.

Some things never change.

I’m not sure I can handle this.  Handle her.

"For the record, she’s damn fine, and with that body she definitely is my type."

You’re insane.  Phone her, I dare you.  I’ll text you her number.

I’ve got it already.  You gave it to me when you were fucking her, so I could find you in an emergency.

I did?  Then call her.  Ask her if she’ll go out with you.  If she’ll get coffee.  If she’ll even talk to you.

Two Jacksons says I get into the batter’s box.

What does that mean?

She meets me for coffee or lunch.

It’s a bet, but no lying to her to get her to accept.

No deal.  I don’t want to sit here for two hours while you define what ‘lying’ is.

I wouldn’t—

The hell you wouldn’t.  Remember when you tried to tell me how to explain to Mel why you turned your phone off.

That was important.

That’s because Dannie was still in your head, or I should say your pants.

Can you order me a steak sandwich and fries?  Where’s the bathroom?

"You’re overcompensating.  I’m certain she’s in your head.  It’s around the corner at the end of the bar."

Gary

I started without you.

Rich

Yes, you did.

How’d you and Dannie meet, anyway?  You never really told me – just some crap about work.

Do you have the time for that story?

"For that story, I’ll make time."

"It was my first job.  Part of becoming a CPA is acquiring a couple years of experience at a reputable firm, typically working on tax stuff.  When I started, she was there – beautiful, sexy, young.  I stared at her.  I’m certain she noticed.  I couldn’t help it."

Wait a sec.  Let me get the picture… Killer body… Super cute face, short black hair, right?  Pure black.  That her real color? Landing strip and everything?

You’re off the subject.

"Brazilian? That’s super hot…"

NO!

…it has to be a full Bermuda.

"What?"

"The shape – no trimming, no waxing, au naturel.  Pure black triangle, very old school."

I didn’t even know that yet!

I can see why this girl has you by the balls… Anyway, sorry, go on: you gave her a look.

…

Go on.  I’m good.

…It was kind of a stare.

That’s not bad.  Let them know you’re interested.

But I don’t do that – stare at women.

Maybe you should.  It worked.

That’s your style, not mine.

"What do you do?"

I’m not sure… but when I saw her, I stared.  I wondered if she might be a partner’s daughter.  She could have been sixteen, doing a summer job.  I wouldn’t be surprised if my mouth was hanging open.  That’s how I felt.

"Sixteen?  Shit, not even legal.  And you ran your eyes over her.  At least it wasn’t your hands."

"No, not my hands.  I’m not you… Besides, I’m terrible at guessing ages, women’s ages in particular.  I can’t see through the makeup.  She was likely older.

"Old enough, you mean."

"Old enough, I suppose so.  I asked around.  Nineteen, Mary, the receptionist, said.  Dannie was a pre-law student.  The company was considering adding a legal arm.  She had come to investigate, already shopping for internships or employers.  I liked that about her, planning ahead, taking control of her career, before she had one."

I bet, and of course you like them smart.

I like smart people.

"Gorgeous, sexy, smart female people."

Whereas your only concern is that they’re breathing.

"You’ve got me wrong.  I like them hot.  Nothing else matters.  Did I tell you about Evelyn?  Divorced, forty-two, modeled for a few years.  She had me by the balls for a while, but it was worth it.  Damn, I still think about her."

Forty-two? How old were you?

About the same as you when you spotted Dannie.

She was almost twice your age?

She taught me well.  She had skills and knew what she wanted... Damn.  I should call her.

She’d be almost fifty.

Model.  Hot.  Skills.  Who cares how old?  How did Dannie handle the staring?

She smiled and walked away.

Absolutely old school.  Wow, at nineteen.  Damn.  See, it worked.

It seemed like mixed messages, but it turned out Mary told her I was asking after her.

That stare got into her head.  Keep it in your playbook.

"My playbook… The next day, Dannie broke the dress code.  Completely bare legs up to here – minidress, just about the color of her skin.  She looked naked.  For a second, I thought she was naked, when she flounced into my office to ask me to dinner."

See, all it took was that stare.

And Mary blabbing.

Whatever works.

"She said Marvin’s.  She’d never been."

Expensive taste, huh?  Gotta watch out for those.  When you run out of money they split.  But this girl knew she had you by the balls, even then, right away.

The voice of experience?

Why do you think three weeks is a long relationship for me?

Not for me. I won’t call it a relationship, unless it’s at least two months.

I know.

And the rest is history.

Wait!  Smart, sexy, half naked – you’re leaving out the best parts.

"Next time.  I have to go.  But to fill in the picture, Mary smirked at me when I came in next morning half a minute behind Dannie, and she was wearing that same minidress."

_________________________________

She and I were sitting naked, close, cross legged, making out.  Desire infused both of us, on display in our physical expression.  We sat in a glass room, perhaps in the wilderness.  Who was watching us?  Who might watch us?  Those questions dodged in and out of my head, but she, her young, gorgeous sexy self, overwhelmed them.  Did I care about the circumstances?  A little.  But why so, if she didn’t?

_________________________________

Rich Franklin

Hey, it reeks in here.  What’d they burn?

Gary Buchanan

Dunno.  It was like that when I came through the door.

Why do you arrive here before me?

I’m working a block from here, around the corner – I told you.

"I suppose you did.  We should try someplace else.  Eat some decent food for a change, get out of this smell."

And make me walk farther.  Is this your idea of a fitness plan for me?

It wouldn’t hurt you to get some exercise.

"I get plenty.  I have a workout plan.  At least four days a week, usually five."

What sort of plan?

Legs today, arms tomorrow, and so on.

You mean… Are those actual muscles?  I stand corrected.

"And if you think I don’t get any cardio, ask Xaviera."

"Is that the