Split P Soup: Juvenility (Book #1)

By Maharg Ydobon

Young clients at the Babbling Brook Listening Center describe their struggles of childhood, growing up weird, living in poverty, living in luxury, living in the turmoil of the 1960s and early 1970s, and facing the eternal challenges of interacting with other weird humans.

There are good, bad, and ugly things in the real world, and even more so in the weird worlds inside of human minds.

Some would caution, "you should only show the good..." and others would counter, "it's the bad and ugly that make best-sellers..."

Journalism is supposed to show and tell things as they are. But, the scariest, weirdest, and most horrible stuff always get the top headlines, making the world seem considerably less civil and much scarier than it really is.

Millions of people can peaceably enjoy a day, but it will be the few dozen that cause a ruckus, or a big fire, or one multiple-murder, or a few cases of food poisoning, or a sensational arrest, or a war somewhere, that get the headlines.

This book is not journalism, though the author has worked as a journalist, investigative reporter, and managing editor. He has also spent time as a law clerk, property manager, construction worker, business consultant, and entrepreneur of small businesses, while sidelining as a political activist, campaign consultant, and a bunch of other things. He has packed his resume with 100 years of experience into a 65 year lifespan by working multiple projects at the same time.

Many of the incidents and attitudes in this book are things that have been witnessed by, investigated, or told to the author over the years. Others are a mixture of things from various people, sources, and knowledge bases, including his undergraduate work and independent studies in psychology, sociology, and special education. Others are just figments of the author's active imagination.

This book isn't meant to be sensational horror and dread, nor is it sugar-coated to be all sweet and smarmy. The purpose is to look at various aspects of humanity and the human condition, including the workings of the human mind, and the conjunctures of human relations.

How people cope with their circumstances is both interesting and informative. Understanding coping mechanisms is one of the main focuses of this work.
The human mind, the human condition, and human relationships are very rich sources for scientific research, analysis, and wonderment. It often isn't difficult for a forensic scientist to discover exactly what was done. What is much more difficult is to figure out WHY. For that you must get into the mind.

For many years the author has been listening to people talk about things that were done. Many of them give the "who, what, when, where, and how" fairly easily. But the more important question of "why" is often left out, lied about, or just trivialized.
Doctor Ydobon asks "why" fairly often, during the interviews. But, the doctor's questions are not part of the manuscript. The statements of the interviewees are the subject matter.

So, this book is not a story. It doesn't follow a pattern of storytelling where there is a beginning, plot, intrigue, and finale. Instead, it has all of those ingrained. But, they are weaved throughout using the interview process, like a documentary might do, going into the thinking of the many people involved.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Maharg Ydobon
• Release date: Jul 5, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005231552

Maharg Ydobon

Bio Info for Maharg YdobonAge = Old; birthdate lost in ancient history and political disruptions. Maybe he was born soon after WW2 somewhere in a now dislocated jurisdiction, possibly Europe or South America or somewhere else. But, it seems he must have been in elementary school in the early 1960s. He claims to have been in anti-war and civil rights protests during the Nixon years.Ethnicity = Other; has ties to various ethnicities and claims allegiance to none of them. Claims to have come from "the old world", and that most of the Ydobon family didn't choose to come to this backwater planet... (Maybe there will be something of this vein in future books?)Language = Spanglish (border mixture of Spanish & English) and BuHdobyan (huh?), but his first language is "ba-baba-baby-talk..."Family = Multiple members of extended family, many of whom are now deceased. Favorite Auntie just passed away in her late eighties. Mama died at the same age a few years ago. Some brothers are still in contact, and through them are many nephews and nieces. Heck, life goes on and you lose some and gain some and it all comes out "even steven" - except when it doesn't.Work = Various Jobs & Businesses."The first regular job I remember was walking bean fields in the brutal heat and humidity of the Mississippi River Valley, hoeing out all of the weeds while being careful to protect the plants. Yeah, I made a whopping 65 cents an hour for that menial labor."Over the years there have been many jobs and businesses. Gradually the pay got better as did the amount of control I had over my life."Recently a client told me my rates were way too low for the market, and that I should increase my base rate (for just showing up and not doing any real work) to more than double. I considered that absurd, but increased my hourly rate (including work) by about 20 percent."Reality Check! My rates haven't really gone up that much. Our economy is in such a mess that our dollars are becoming worthless, and you have to get a lot more of them to buy the basic stuff that most people need. That's called 'transitory inflation', and has been going on for hundreds of years..."So, somebody's $100 per hour rate now is maybe equivalent to a wage of $10 an hour back when I was growing up. Okay, that was a living wage for a seasoned technician. You could support a family on that if you were frugal."Frugal is one thing I have been all my life. As Uncle Harveigh says, 'There's no sense spending senselessly on senseless extravagances. Going into debt for non-essential spending is even worse. It's all just senseless.'""So, if you have any sense, mind your dollars and cents."Sorry, I got off track there -- maybe starting to show my age. Financial stupidity is one of my pet peeves."There are many other things of importance about me, but not all is relevant here...."I do enjoy woodworking and creative art. My workshop is outdoors, but shaded, with big trees and a shade canopy, and surround-sound organic birdsong music all day long."One of my best buddies out there is a large Wood Bee (aka Carpenter Bee) who hangs around and talks to me in Buzzlish. He (or maybe she; most of nature seems to be non-binary when it comes to gender) looks a lot like a Bumblebee, except for being all black. Unlike its cousins, Wood Bees are very mellow and don't attack or sting unless they are threatened. It would be nice if more people were like that."

Book preview

Split P Soup

Book 1: Juvenility (1965-1972)

Pseudo-science Fiction

Maharg Ydobon, PsZ

Psycho-babbling, Rumors, Gossip, Conspiracy, and Deep Dark Secrets

Insights inside inner selves and twisted minds

Neurotic, Psychotic, Sociopathic, and just plain weird

Twisted stories of insane stuff

as if told to a shrink

May be mentally disturbing...

Read at your own risk!

Copyright 2002 - 2022 Philosophers Stone Tablets

Published by Philosophers Stone Tablets at Smashwords

Philosophers Stone Tablets is Trademark protected

The names Philosophers Stone Tablets, Split P Soup, Maharg Ydobon,

and other names are protected by Trademarks and/or Copyrights.

Acknowledgements

I must acknowledge all of the many people who throughout my life have provided source material for this work. But, memories of the real people have grown dim over the years, and the stories have metamorphosized into realities that seem more real than the original.

Many of the stories have changed over time. Most got better through revision and re-writing. So, I want to thank everybody involved in that process.

And, especially, I would like to thank The Philosopher Princess, whose friendship, philosophical discussions, logical foundations, inspiring ideas, and editing expertise have been priceless. Without her, I wouldn't be here.

Split P Soup -- Book 1: Juvenility

Table of Contents

Prologue to Juvenility

01. Phlippert, Sunny, and Sol -- Siamese Triplets

02. Jimmy Weasel and Carbon

03. Hallelujah Johnson

04. Look-alike Cousins: Nick, Mick, Mike & Dave

05. Phlippert, Sunny & Sol meet Carbone

06. Carbone The Psychopath

07. Counselling Nut-case Kids

08. Our Gang; The River Rats

09. The Cousins Stand Up Against Carbone

10. Baptize the Cats

11. Best Friends, Colleen & Semi-Colleen

12. Schooling versus Learning

13. The River Rats Get a Boat

14. Up the Flagpole

15. Rescue Hallelujah

16. My Hero to the Rescue

17. Being a Southie

18. Raising Hallelujah

19. Hogback Undertow

20. The Foundling Brothers

21. Hogback Undertow Nutcases

22. Popeye's Southie Theology

23. Nick's Escape

24. Hogback Undertow & Race Riots

25. Nick's Escape & Weird Revenges

26. Easy Living at Schaefton Castle

27. Cool Concerts at Schaefton Castle

28. Borders & Boundaries; We're All Neighbors

29. Fears & Nightmares

30. Understanding Carbone

31. Colleen's Infatuation With Nick

32. Dreamy David Daniel

33. Return to California

34. The River Rats; Tangling with Southside

35. California Tripping

36. Chasing Nick Schaefton

37. Weasel goes to a Concert at the Castle

38. Concert at the Castle

39. Schooling versus Learning

40. Hiding Out

41. Rivalries at Easy Street Bar

42. The Luck of Finding Nick

43. Colleen & Nick

44. Nick & Colleen & Semi-Colleen

45. Six-Wheel-Drive All-Terrain Wheelchair!

46. Pop's Hilarious Ride with the Gimplets!

47. Crazy Talking to Oneself

A Bit About Maharg Ydobon

Literary Works by Maharg Ydobon

Split P Soup -- License Notes

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Freely ye have received, freely give. Harmony and balance make for good karma.

When Jack met Jill

Jill talking

Well yes sir, we did go up the hill to fetch a pail of water. At least that was what Jack said.

But, water is always down the hill, isn't it? That's where the wells and creeks are located. So, Jack was playing me for a fool, which I guess I was.

Then, when we got way up there, on top of the hill, it turned out that there wasn't any water. There was just Jack and his wants. He groped me and kissed me and made rude advances that I would rather not remember.

I got fed up and conked him with my satchel. My school books and stuff were in there so it was fairly heavy. Jack then went rolling down the hill.

I was afraid that I had hurt him badly, or maybe even killed him. Even though he had caused it, and basically deserved whatever happened to him, I reacted to save him.

That's why I tumbled after Jack and took him down the hill to get his head patched up with vinegar and brown paper.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mentors deserve due credit, so I must credit the inspiration for the above segment to Smashwords Founder Mark Coker. Mark used When Jack met Jill as an illustration of how to format titles for book chapters... That caused me to think through the old fairy tale and what went on with Jack and Jill. I decided Jill's version was worth telling...

~~~~~~~~~~

Prologue to Juvenility

There are good, bad, and ugly things in the real world, and even more so in the weird worlds inside of human minds.

Some would caution, you should only show the good... and others would counter, it's the bad and ugly that make best-sellers...

Journalism is supposed to show and tell things as they are. But, the scariest, weirdest, and most horrible stuff always get the top headlines, making the world seem considerably less civil and much scarier than it really is.

Millions of people can peaceably enjoy a day, but it will be the few dozen that cause a ruckus, or a big fire, or one multiple-murder, or a few cases of food poisoning, or a sensational arrest, or a war somewhere, that get the headlines.

This book is not journalism, though the author has worked as a journalist, investigative reporter, and managing editor. He has also spent time as a law clerk, property manager, construction worker, business consultant, and entrepreneur of small businesses, while sidelining as a political activist, campaign consultant, and a bunch of other things. He has packed his resume with 100 years of experience into a 65 year lifespan by working multiple projects at the same time.

Many of the incidents and attitudes in this book are things that have been witnessed by, investigated, or told to the author over the years. Others are a mixture of things from various people, sources, and knowledge bases, including his undergraduate work and independent studies in psychology, sociology, and special education. Others are just figments of the author's active imagination.

This book isn't meant to be sensational horror and dread, nor is it sugar-coated to be all sweet and smarmy. The purpose is to look at various aspects of humanity and the human condition, including the workings of the human mind, and the conjunctures of human relations.

How people cope with their circumstances is both interesting and informative. Understanding coping mechanisms is one of the main focuses of this work.

The human mind, the human condition, and human relationships are very rich sources for scientific research, analysis, and wonderment. It often isn't difficult for a forensic scientist to discover exactly what was done. What is much more difficult is to figure out WHY. For that you must get into the mind.

For many years the author has been listening to people talk about things that were done. Many of them give the who, what, when, where, and how fairly easily. But the more important question of why is often left out, lied about, or just trivialized.

Doctor Ydobon asks why fairly often, during the interviews. But, the doctor's questions are not part of the manuscript. The statements of the interviewees are the subject matter.

So this book is not a story. It doesn't follow a pattern of storytelling where there is a beginning, plot, intrigue, and finale. Instead, it has all of those ingrained. But, they are weaved throughout using the interview process, like a documentary might do, going into the thinking of the many people involved.

As such, we must be ready to confront the evils of the world, including the mental arena, rather than just focus on what is uplifting... But, when one writes about things that are not nice, one is taking the risk of being castigated for doing so.

Taken by themselves, some of these stories could be called racist, violent, ignorant, or worse. Some could be