An Epic Soundtrack To A Mundane Existence

By CJ Baker

Endless Nameless is lying on a hospital deathbed and his wife is expecting. He will most likely die before she gives birth. Despite this fact he desires that his child be given an opportunity to get to know his dad. With this objective he sets to write his thoughts and life lessons so that he can make connections with his soon-to-be-born child.

Part of Endless Nameless' dilemma is that he is not very eloquent and his memory of facts can be a bit hazy. That being said, he does have the ability to associate major life events and memories with music. With that in mind, he decides to use songs as the backdrop to tell his story. It is like a memoir told through a literary mix tape. It is an epic soundtrack to a mundane existence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: CJ Baker
• Release date: Jul 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201700867

Book preview

Chapter 1: Let Your Backbone Slide

BACK IN MY PRETEENS I lived in Toronto, Ontario. I lived in a part of the

city which was very multicultural. As a white kid with a middle-class

upbringing I was almost in the minority. I enjoyed being exposed to different

cultures and it was something I missed when I did end up moving into a more

suburban area during my teen years in the 90s.

In the late 1980s, much to your grandma’s chagrin I was going through a

rap phase. One song that stood out was Let Your Backbone Slide by Maestro

Fresh Wes. As a rhythmically challenged white boy I was not much of a dancer,

but it certainly was fun to try, and that song was one of my go to jams. A few

years earlier I watched a couple of the 80s break dancing movies such as Beat

Street and Breakin’. I had a secret desire to become a B-boy. Unfortunately,

that dream never came into fruition.

Concerning my gravitating toward music your grandma disapproved of this

was kind of the starting point. Our respective music tastes continued to clash

throughout my teenage years. I think an important part of the parent and child

dynamic is to have conflicting music tastes. There is nothing more uncool than

your parents liking your music. Even though I know your momma has excellent

music tastes (almost as good as mine); it is truly possible that you might start

liking music that will make her cringe. That is totally cool and it is part of the

growing up process.

Going back to the tune, it became a popular schoolyard anthem. This

allowed me to have a shared experience with other kids my age. I may have

lacked street cred, but that is not important when you are 11 years old. This was

one of my earliest experiences with the unifying effect of music. In the

immortal words of George Clinton of Parliament-Funkadelic it was truly "One

Nation Under a Groove" or in this instance one schoolyard united by the same

funky groove.

reason I have a soft spot for Maestro Fresh Wes is because you

don’t forget your first. Maestro’s 1989 album Symphony in Effect is the first

cassette I bought with my own funds. I remember taking the allowance money

I had saved up and walking to the Boo Wilbury Mall with your auntie Baby Blue

to purchase it. Your aunt ended up buying a New Kids on the Block cassette.

She also saw them live a couple of times, so feel free to ask her about them.

Personally, I have had a lifelong abhorrence of boy bands, but to each their

own. (Just as a sidebar: you can probably imagine the debate that your aunt and

I are having immediately after I uttered that statement).

I think part of the reason I was drawn to Maestro was because he was

Toronto based, so the fact he was a local boy who made good was appealing.

He is considered to be the first Canadian rapper to achieve mainstream success.

He is an important cultural figure in the development of Canadian Hip Hop.

I also had a pet lizard named Maestro. To be honest I don’t remember much

about him. I do remember he had the ability to move really quickly. The lizard

did give me the opportunity to freak out your aunt and her friends. It’s too bad I

didn’t have access to a video camera back then. If I did, I would have made a

video of Maestro rapidly moving to Let Your Backbone Slide. Sadly, the

concept of viral videos did not exist back in those days.

As previously mentioned, I’m periodically going to include random top 10

music lists. This will be the first of many. Not including the already mentioned

Let Your Backbone Slide, here is the top 10 list of my favorite go to 1980s

hip hop jams:

10. Parents Just Don’t Understand – DJ Jazzy Fresh and the Fresh Prince

The message of this song really resonated with the 11-year-old version of

me. According to your aunt, your grandma absolutely hated it when I started

rapping this song. Even though the song is clearly tongue and cheek, I can now

see how the premise of the song might have been an annoyance.

9. Just a Friend – Biz Markie

This is an example of some of the best / worst off key singing in the history

of music. This song later became an inspiration of my intentionally bad musical

project, Face and the No Credits. I definitely have a soft spot for music which

falls into the category of it’s so bad it’s good. Unfortunately, any music I ever

made was so bad it was bad. But oh well.

8. Bust a Move – Young MC

Back in the day Bust a Move became a schoolyard catchphrase. Before

engaging in any type of activity it was not uncommon for someone to try to

spur you on by yelling out bust a move. You are about to drive to the hoop;

bust a move!

7. Me, Myself & I – De La Soul

De La Soul was a quirky hippie rap group who were instrumental in the

development of the alternative hip hop movement of the early 90s. This song is

an irresistible feel-good jam which serves as a positive counterpoint to much of

the negative misogyny and gangsta posturing of later hip hop.

6. Going Back To Cali – LL Cool J

Back in the day LL really was the man. LL Cool J stood for Ladies Love

Cool James. I use to have a secret fantasy of being the white version of him. He

was totally ripped and did not go anywhere without carrying his trusted boom

box. He was a total badass.

5. The Message - Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five

I was debating whether to include this song, because it was not a song the

preteen version of me was aware of. But in my later teen years I started to be

drawn to socially conscious music. This song is the granddaddy of socially

conscious rap songs.

4. It’s Tricky – Run DMC

Anytime I was confronted with a difficult situation I started humming to

myself It’s tricky. For example, if I was trying to do my homework and I

couldn’t figure it out, It’s tricky immediately popped into my head. Of

course, I doubt Run DMC had math problems and school yard issues in mind

when they wrote the song.

3. It Takes Two - Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

This was the title track of their 1988 debut album. This just happened to be

one of the first cassettes I owned. I still have nostalgic memories every time I

hear this tune.

2. Bring the Noise – Public Enemy

To be honest with you, I first came across this song in 1991 when PE

collaborated with trash metal band Anthrax. The original which is from their

iconic 1988 album, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back also rocks

really hard. That album happens to be one of the less obvious choices on Kurt

Cobain’s top 50 album list I referred to earlier.

1. No Sleep Till Brooklyn – Beastie Boys

The Beastie Boys was one of the first bands that helped bridge the gap

between rock and rap. In the schoolyard, the rocker kids and the hip hop kids

could establish a common ground with the Beasties. This song rocked as hard

as any rock or metal song. In addition, it featured the talents of Slayer guitarists

Kerry King. The song ended up taking on special meaning later in life, but I

will touch on that later.

By the time the early 90s rolled around I moved to the suburbs and I started

to get out of my rap phase. As you will soon discover those sounds were

replaced with sounds that reflected the emotional turmoil of my youth. I still have

nostalgic memories of that period of my life. On the odd occasion, I still like to kick it old school.

This jam is amplified, so just glide and let your backbone slide

Chapter 2: Here We Are Now Entertain Us

MUCH OF MY MUSIC TASTE did not start to take shape until the early 90s

when one song and one band busted the floodgates of musical discovery wide

open. The song was Smells Like Teen Spirit and the band was Nirvana.

The year was 1991 and I had recently moved into a suburban area in Ajax,

just outside of Toronto. A lot of the kids I went to school with listened to

classic rock and the dying embers of hair metal. Musically, this was also a

reflection of my personal taste.

I remember watching the video for Smells Like Teen Spirit on Much

Music. Much Music was the Canadian version of MTV and back in those days

they mainly played music videos. Now those networks primarily show a bunch

of crappy reality shows that have nothing to do with music. But that is a rant for

another day. Let us get back on topic.

When I first watched that video, it was a turning point that permanently

changed the way I viewed music and the world in general. I did find out later,

music like this existed in the rich treasure troves of the underground, but this

was nothing like what was getting played on mainstream radio. Living in the

suburbs, sonic goodness such as this just didn’t travel across the airwaves. At

least not until now.

What was it about Smells Like Teen Spirit that resonated with me? There

was something compelling about lyrics like She’s over-bored and self assured and

Here we are now, entertain us/ I feel stupid and contagious. The lyrics seemed equal

parts nonsensical and contradictory, but that was the point. As far as I was concerned it

perfectly encapsulated the restlessness and angst of youth. The loud / soft dynamics of

the tune also spoke to the confusing and conflicting emotions I was starting to

experience during my teenage years. I could not readily relate to Mötley Crüe but I

could certainly relate to these guys.

Shortly after that life changing moment, I went out to the record store to buy

Nevermind, the album Teen Spirit was on. While there, I also noticed

their debut album Bleach. In many ways, this was the starting point of my

obsession with music. It was around this time I started to read music

magazines. A lot of the music I started to get into had a direct link to my

exposure to Nirvana. For example, I read in an interview that when Kurt

Cobain wrote Teen Spirit he was trying to write a Pixie’s song. I read that

Nirvana signed with Geffen records because that was Sonic Youth’s record

label. Nirvana was my introduction to these artists and many more.

You have to remember this was the days before the widespread use of the

internet. There was no sampling before you buy; there was no free downloading

or streaming. If you wanted to discover new music, you had to make the

commitment and shell out the cash. In my case, much of what I earned from

part time jobs and allowances fed my music addiction. To purchase a CD based

on someone else’s recommendation was definitely an act of faith. Fortunately,

Kurt never did let me down.

In many ways, Nirvana was my musical gateway drug. Much of the music I

listened to I would not have discovered if I did not discover Nirvana first. In

line with this we have reached the point where I am going to make another

random list. Here are the top 10 artists I have discovered because of Nirvana

10. The Raincoats

They were an obscure, experimental all female post punk band which

benefitted from Kurt being a fan. Kurt’s record label reissued the band’s first

three albums and Kurt wrote the liner notes for the 1993 reissue of their 1979

self titled debut album. Their music is a bit weird, but it does have a certain

quirky charm. Not for all taste, but, they are worth checking out.

9. The Vaselines

The Vaselines were a Scottish indie pop group consisting of the husband

and wife duo Eugene Kelly and Frances McKee. In one interview, Kurt

described them as his favorite songwriters in the whole world. Nirvana

covered their songs Son of a Gun and Molly’s Lips on their Incesticide

album. They also performed an emotionally powerful cover of "Jesus Wants

Me For a Sunbeam (which they titled Jesus Doesn’t Want Me For a

Sunbeam") during their MTV Unplugged performance. I always had a secret

fantasy of being part of a husband and wife duo like The Vaselines. Your mom

and I did try to record some stuff, but we were a bit limited by my lack of

musical talent. At least we tried. In my personal musical universe, sincerity and

attitude always trumps talent.

8. Gang of Four

According to Kurt, Nirvana started off as a Gang of Four and Scratch Acid

rip off. Flea of Red Hot Chilli Peppers also cited the band as a major influence

on his bass playing. As I started to get into 90s alt rock, I quickly realized that

many bands should be paying this late 70s/early 80s post punk band

considerable royalties.

7. The Wipers

The Wipers started recording grunge music in the late 70s before grunge

became a thing. Nirvana covered their D-7 and Return of the Rat. They

were truly ahead of their time and they would be filthy rich if every band they

influenced were required to pay them royalties.

6. Half Japanese

You know how I previously said sincerity and attitude always trumps

talent? Half Japanese is the epitome of that statement. An art rock band that

formed in the mid-1970s, they were very influential in the development of the

DIY (Do It Yourself) punk esthetic. The band would ignore traditional chords

progressions and played un-tuned guitars. Their lyrical content bordered on low

brow and juvenile. They were professionally amateurish. What they lacked in

talent they made up with unbridled enthusiasm. They were proof that if you can

plug in a guitar and turn up the amp you can start a band. In many ways, they

were a considerable influence on my own failed musical endeavors. When Kurt

died, he was wearing a Half Japanese T-shirt. The more I think about it; maybe

I should be buried in a Half Japanese T-shirt.

5. Sonic Youth

Sonic Youth were personal heroes to Kurt. They also influenced countless

alternative and indie acts and genres. As previously mentioned, Nirvana signed

a major label deal with Geffen because that was Sonic Youth’s label. As indie

icons, they could sign to a major label and still maintain their creative freedom.

This opened the floodgates for other underground artists to be signed and

receive mainstream attention.

4. Dinosaur Jr.

I remember reading years ago, that Dinosaur Jr.’s J. Mascis was asked to

join Nirvana and almost joined them on two occasions. Once to drum on their

debut album Bleach