Destined to Lead: Executive Coaching and Lessons for Leadership Development

By K. Wasylyshyn

In a field that's crowded with how-to coaching books and academic tomes on organization/leadership behavior, Destined to Lead breaks away from the crowd with its specificity and candor on how real cases unfolded in the hands in one of the world's most respected pioneers of executive coaching.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
• Release date: Sep 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9781137437679

Book preview

DESTINED TO LEAD

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Executive Coaching and Lessons for Leadership Development

Karol M. Wasylyshyn

DESTINED TO LEAD

Copyright © Karol M. Wasylyshyn, 2014.

All rights reserved.

First published in 2014 by

PALGRAVE MACMILLAN®

in the United States—a division of St. Martin’s Press LLC,

175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

Where this book is distributed in the UK, Europe and the rest of the world, this is by Palgrave Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited, registered in England, company number 785998, of Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS.

Palgrave Macmillan is the global academic imprint of the above companies and has companies and representatives throughout the world.

Palgrave® and Macmillan® are registered trademarks in the United States, the United Kingdom, Europe and other countries.

ISBN: 978–1–137–35776–2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Wasylyshyn, Karol M.

Destined to lead : executive coaching and lessons for leadership development / Karol M. Wasylyshyn.

    pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978–1–137–35776–2 (hardback : alk. paper)

 1. Executive coaching—Case studies. 2. Leadership—Case studies. 3. Executives—Case studies. I. Title.

HD30.4.W374 2014

658.407′124—dc23                               2014006016

A catalogue record of the book is available from the British Library.

Design by Newgen Knowledge Works (P) Ltd., Chennai, India.

First edition: August 2014

10  9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1

Printed in the United States of America.

To the eight courageous business leaders

who permitted me to publish

their executive coaching experiences.

My thoughts are joined by your words—and together, we’ve ignited a fuller understanding of what really matters in this work.

CONTENTS

List of Figures

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1 The Relentless Champion

Executive’s Reflection

2 Destined to Lead

Executive’s Reflection

3 The Recovering Perfectionist

Executive’s Reflection

4 The Duality Within

Executive’s Reflection

5 The Demon Slayer: Conquering a Dark Side of Deference

Executive’s Reflection

6 A Midlife Reinvention

Executive’s Reflection

7 Fighting the Force of Old Habits

Executive’s Reflection

8 The Reluctant President

9 The Reluctant President Revisited

Executive’s Reflection

10 From Executive Coach to Trusted Advisor

11 Client and Coach Views Compared

Coda: As to the Future . . . 

Notes

Index

FIGURES

1.1 SO SMART ® —Emotional Intelligence

1.2 Ted’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM)

2.1 Interview Protocol—360 Data-gathering Questionnaire

2.2 Kathryn’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM) #1

2.3 Perspective-making—A Fundamental Leadership Responsibility

2.4 Two Factors for Assessing Employee Effectiveness

2.5 Seven Warning Signs of Executive Failure

2.6 Kathryn’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM) #2

3.1 Leadership 3000 Competencies and Essential Behaviors

3.2 Leadership 3000 Guiding Principles

3.3 Jean-Paul’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM)

4.1 Behavior Change Model

4.2 Rachel’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM)

4.3 SO SMART ® —Emotional Intelligence

5.1 Leadership 2000 Leader Competencies

5.2 Leadership 3000 Guiding Principles

5.3 Leadership 3000 Essential Behaviors

5.4 Leadership 3000 Competencies Revised

5.5 A Five-P Model for Retirement Planning

6.1 Max’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM)

6.2 Stay-Go Exercise

7.1 Walt’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM)

7.2 SO SMART ® —Emotional Intelligence

7.3 Interview Protocol—360 Data-gathering Questionnaire

8.1 Frank’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM) #1

8.2 Results/Attitude Grid

8.3 Customized Interview Protocol for 360 Feedback

9.1 Frank’s Visual Leadership Metaphor ® (VLM) #2

9.2 Stay-Go Exercise

10.1 Trusted Advisor—Four Dimensions

10.2 A Five-P Model for Retirement Planning

FOREWORD

It is the very nature of a story to transform. The stories in Destined to Lead, told by a master storyteller, will transform the practice of executive coaching. Authored by Karol M. Wasylyshyn, a pioneer in her field, this book teaches, inspires, and provokes.

I’ve known Dr. Wasylyshyn for more than 20 years. We met when I was on track to finish my doctorate. I recall after expressing my desire to marry my love of psychology to the business world, my colleagues telling me repeatedly, Talk to Karol Wasylyshyn; she’s the expert.

They were right: gracious and generous with her time, Karol gave me invaluable insights that helped guide me into a diverse and very rewarding career in leadership development. I have served as an executive coach, an action learning partner, a professor, and most recently as a vice dean for executive education at The Wharton School.

Throughout my career, I am often asked if one can really learn how to lead. My answer? Yes. Absolutely. Leadership is not a mysterious formula; it’s a set of skills. It’s the ability to apply these skills to a meaningful goal. Mastering the role of leader requires two things: first, a clear sense of the context in which one is leading; and second, a willingness to understand the nuances and complexities required in the role. I believe that if you have the right formula—intelligence, drive, ambition, and a compelling reason to lead—you can be a successful leader.

Today, many leaders also need the guiding hand of a confidential partner—someone courageous enough to cut through the noise, speak the truth, and provide a safe space for reflection, experimentation, and exploration. Karol embodies this type of leadership mentor. She’s served as a trusted advisor to some of the top business and nonprofit leaders in the country. Her clinical orientation, combined with her experience as a businesswoman, creates the right fit for the evolving practice of executive coaching.

Throughout her career, Karol has been known for quality and focus. She never accepts an assignment without a complete immersion into her client’s business, a focused plan of action, and a strategic view of their competitive landscape.

• She knows the culture.

• She challenges her clients to deepen their commitment to leader development.

• She’s vigilant about holding a critical but compassionate mirror before her clients.

She herself may not have invented coaching, but she surely is one of its pioneers, visionaries, and architects.

And, in Destined to Lead, she invites us to share her knowledge and wisdom, giving us a unique view from the balcony. Through Karol’s example, we all can gain innovative practices and views into ways a trusted advisor can challenge and channel executives. She knows how to help an executive find his or her leadership voice and stay true to it.

In the years since our first meeting, Karol and I have often lamented the commoditization of coaching. We’ve seen the debate about the role of executive coaches intensify as more people entered the field. Is it, as some suggest, a perk for the high-potential leader, a fix-it prescription to ensure success at the top? Or is an executive coach simply a cheerleader to replace your favorite aunt who came to every ballgame? Or is the coach the external voice that keeps one from saying the wrong thing or making too many political blunders? It’s possible that executive coaching is a little of all of these things. But, in the hands and heart of an expert like Karol Wasylyshyn, the practice becomes a personal and intimate partnership that honors the executive client, provides a trusted source of advice, and enables these individuals to grow and achieve their ambitions and goals as transformative leaders.

There are no qualifying criteria or universally recognized certifications for becoming an executive coach. The question of whether our discipline is a profession has been heated for the last ten years. Even today, anyone can join the ranks of coach. And regardless of whether you call yourself a life skills, or presentation coach, if you are side by side with an executive, you must bring more than your business background to bear. Inexperienced but well-intentioned professionals who enter this field can give advice that might bring damage to reputations, business results, and perceptions of leadership readiness.

If you want to learn the power of a deep, trusting coaching relationship, open Destined to Lead. Reflect on Karol’s lessons as one of our industry’s true innovative thinkers, and apply them to your own methodology and practice.

As coaches, we walk with our executive clients through the ups and downs of their leadership journeys. To add value, we must go beyond the fundamentals. The craftsmanship inherent in this book is hard to teach. I have tried. But through Karol’s compelling cases, we begin to discern the art of coaching. We discover that being a trusted adviser means many things: rigorous self-awareness, disciplined understanding of organizational systems, an immersion in the scholarly underpinnings of personal development, and a belief in the power of dialogue. Balancing the tensions of a complex relationship, keeping focused on the goals of your client, and having the courage to confront and critique someone you care about and respect—these attributes are the gold standard of the practice.

It’s rare to have someone with Karol’s background, experience, and gifts share knowledge so openly and with such clarity. I urge you to immerse yourself in this treasure of leadership coaching. Destined to Lead is a gift to the profession. Karol puts her hand out and asks you to walk with her and her clients. I firmly believe that if you take her hand, your thinking about experience coaching will be transformed.

MONICA MCGRATH

Vice Dean of Administration

Aresty Institute of Executive Education

The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, USA

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

My mother, Stella Winczo Wasylyshyn, was a Polish immigrant with a very fast eye and a tongue that could pierce right into the heart of you. When I graduated college, I remember her urging, "Don’t just do something; make sure you do something different." So in some primitive and catalytic way, she influenced my career choices—choices through which I sought span of impact—and ultimately, placed me among the pioneers of executive coaching in the United States.

The actual catalyst for this book was a comment made by my colleague and friend, Lois Juliber, retired Vice Chairman and COO of the Colgate-Palmolive Company. She gave me the memorable prod, "So when are you going to write your definitive book? With that word definitive, and in that unexpected Stella moment," I realized other books I’d written had been a dress rehearsal for this one. It was time.

My marvelous and ever-encouraging agent, John Willig, not only found a home for this project quickly at Palgrave Macmillan, he also reconnected me with Charlotte Maiorana, an editor with whom I had worked on another leadership book. Later, I would be rewarded by the guidance of Leila Campoli, Sarah Lawrence, and Kristy Lilas who all contributed to this becoming the instructive legacy work I intended it to be. I am grateful too for Elisabeth Tone’s wise marketing instincts. Surely this manuscript would never have been completed without the stellar efforts of my Office Manager, Carol Testa. For over 20 years, her anticipation, resourcefulness, steady competence, superb accountability, and infectious sense of humor have propelled my best efforts. I am beyond indebted to her for the work done here—including every table and reference.

A special mention goes to the talented artist Joseph Williams, who drew all the Visual Leadership Metaphors® (VLMs)—a key coaching tool in most of these cases. Further, his patience through many iterations of the illustration for my conceptualization of the trusted advisor (see figure 10.1) is especially praiseworthy.

An inner circle of provocative thought partners was always there to read chapter drafts, to guide me to the right references, and/or to keep reminding me of the timely contribution this work would be to the field of executive development. Notably this group included Marisa Guerin, Tom Kaney, Rick Ketterer, Frank Masterpasqua, Frank Smith, and David Washington. I am especially indebted to Paul Koprowski who with great discernment, kindness, and insight gave me critical input for many segments of this manuscript.

My deepest gratitude goes to Monica McGrath for the brilliance and stunning generosity of her foreword for Destined to Lead. Her faithful encouragement throughout this book’s three-year gestation, as well as her fierce and loyal presence in my life—surely have made her as much sister as colleague and friend.

I am grateful too for my professional home, Division 13 (Consulting Psychology) of the American Psychological Association. My colleagues here include Jim Quick with whom I had a pivotal conversation as I planned this project, and who later wrote a review of the proposal that helped sell it to the publisher. Important conversations with Dick Kilburg and Vicki Vandaveer have always stretched my thinking. And I have also been rewarded by the collegiality of other Division 13 members including Bill Haas, Bob Mintz, Jeremy Robinson, and Randy White.

The executive coaching outcomes captured in this book would not have been possible without the human resources professionals or other company insiders with whom I forged such strong, transparent, and trusting partnerships. Further, without their endorsement and confidence in my capabilities, I would never have received these senior coaching engagements. While they are not all living still, I honor them here: Benito Cachinero, Gene Carroll, Mark X. Feck, Joe Forish, Valerie Gervais, Gayle Gibson, Don Johnson, Tom Kaney, Jim Tabb, and Deb Weinstein.

In the category of people who kept me going, I include Bill and Anne George who welcomed me on and off the tennis courts in Cape May, New Jersey. Props too to my fitness trainer, Alma Qualli, who motivated my workouts even when I was away from Philadelphia.

Believing deeply in the interaction among creativity, productivity, and place, most of this book was written with the sea (Villas, NJ) as my constant companion. Up on a dune, in the lolling rhythm of that stillness within the home of my friends Bob Kaeser and Don Stremme, it all seemed possible—even on the days when the words refused to flow. One bittersweet morning there, Bob and I mourned the passing of their beloved dog, Miko, prompting my thoughts about how death and birth (of this book) had merged with the primal power of the sea.

While I have dedicated Destined to Lead to the eight business leaders at the center of these case studies, I acknowledge them again here for their ready willingness to participate. I feel especially indebted to each of them for the time he or she took to write an executive’s reflection to accompany his or her case study. Such explicit client input is rare in the executive coaching literature, and in providing it these leaders have made a distinctive contribution to the field.

Finally, for my husband, Ken Butera, there is the most fervent love and appreciation for all his supportive patience, vigilant checking in as I was writing, timely good humor, and fine grammatical scrutiny/editing of this entire manuscript. While we often joked about who was going to cook his spaghettis whenever I left home to write, there was always a hefty bag of tasty food that he had cooked and packed for my sojourns al mare. A little of Ken in the fridge . . . and fully warm in my heart. Sempre.

KAROL M. WASYLYSHYN, PSY.D.

Philadelphia, PA

Introduction

What exactly happens during executive coaching? This question is as pressing now as it was when Kilburg wrote, For all of the work that has been done to illuminate the subject of coaching in the past 15 or 20 years . . . I have been concerned about the lack of detailed case studies that describe what practitioners actually do with their clients.¹ Equally pressing is a question about what coached leaders themselves value most from coaching, and the implications of such information for research and sound practice in the realm of executive coaching.² Destined to Lead sheds light on these questions by including inputs both from business leaders who have been coached and from the author, a clinical and consulting psychologist, who coached them. Specifically, each case study presents a comprehensive account of the coaching work, and each is concluded with a candid executive reflection written by the leader on his or her coaching experience.

This collection of case studies is focused on senior business leaders³ who chose executive coaching as a resource for their becoming even more effective, and/or to help them realize their career aspirations. I concur with Ennis et al. regarding a general definition of coaching as a developmental resource.⁴ Further, based on nearly three decades of coaching senior business leaders, I believe this resource is optimized on valued performers who are intentional about their own continuous learning. While I have had heated discussions on this point with numerous colleagues, once a senior executive is perceived as failing or truly derailing,⁵ engaging an executive coach is usually more of a rescue fantasy than anything else.

The subjects of these case studies were, for the most part, focused on the behavior how dimension of leadership.⁶ While this is a core area of my coaching expertise, it was the combination of my business background and training in clinical psychology that established my initial credibility with these executives. In other words, I was seen as someone who had worked in and understood their world, as well as a professional who could help them make behavior changes and/or amplify the positive leadership behaviors they already possessed. I have often been asked that familiar question about whether leaders are born or made. I step away from either of those formulations with the belief that the best leaders are destined to lead, and hence the title of this book. I suggest that three primary destiny factors are: (1) education, (2) experience, and (3) behavior. In my experience, most senior business leaders are highly evolved in terms of their education and business experiences; where they need the most help is with the behavioral aspect of how they lead.

The reader may be intrigued by how a clinical psychologist maintained the necessary coaching intention of these engagements, that is, did not tilt toward a more psychotherapeutic stance.⁷ Surely my clinical training was a powerful resource in the conceptualization of these cases, and in how I thought with my clients about the work. However, it was this training, in combination with a grasp of clients’ business challenges, their company contexts, their leadership preferences, and the nature of our presence in this work together that most informed the actual coaching process. Further, in the coaching meetings, I avoided what executives might hear as psycho-babble, and remained vigilant about the right timing and tone of relevant psychological interpretations. These interpretations often fostered clients’ deeper reflections and insights that, in turn, fueled lasting behavior change and convictions about how they needed and wanted to lead differently.⁸

While these engagements represent an insight-oriented coaching model in which a process of self-discovery, deeper self-awareness, and the exploration of relevant psychodynamic factors⁹ lead to more effective leadership, each client’s experience was customized. In practice this meant that I focused on meeting them where they needed to be met, and drew from humanistic, existential, Gestalt, behavioral, and psychodynamic psychology. It is hoped that the flexibility of my coaching within this model is both evident and instructive. However, I hasten to add that this approach is not for everyone; nor do I contend that it is more effective than other coaching models used by seasoned executive coaches—especially those who integrate their knowledge of human behavior with a solid grounding in business.¹⁰

While the identities of these talented leaders have been masked, each executive has reviewed his or her case study and provided permission for publication. It was difficult to choose from the hundreds of cases in my files; but in the end, I was influenced most by three criteria. First that the cases represented gender, racial, and ethnic diversity. Second that they involved a variety of behavioral coaching indications. And third that they fulfilled the overarching intention of this book: to leverage the power of storytelling, that is, to tell compelling stories about real business leaders for whom coaching catalyzed and supported their strongest aspirational pursuits. I wanted these stories—and the comments of the protagonists in them—to be memorable, to be more than an intellectual exercise, and to arouse both the reader’s emotions and energy thus serving as a potent learning resource for anyone practicing or otherwise involved in the burgeoning field of executive coaching.

On some level, I am embarrassed by the decidedly positive tone of these engagements and their outcomes. Given the commitment of these executives to their coaching and superb coach/client chemistry, perhaps this was inevitable. However, this is not to suggest that all coaching engagements unfold well. Even in the wake of diligent precoaching scrutiny, unexpected individual and/or organizational culture issues can sabotage a successful coaching outcome. I have had these experiences, too—some fairly noxious ones with leaders who had no interest in coaching but felt it was politically correct for them to fake it; and with others who actually considered the mere suggestion of working with a coach a narcissistic injury. While I would have preferred to include such coaching experiences in this book, getting permission from any of these executives was a daunting, if not impossible, prospect. (Such permission is an ethical necessity for any licensed psychologist.)

These combined case study and executive reflection pieces are presented in chapters 1–9 and are distinguished by the fact that they were assembled blind. None of the executives read his or her case before the reflection was written, nor did I read any of the reflections before I had written each case. Further, since my relationship with most of these leaders continued over many years with my role eventually shifting from executive coach to trusted advisor, chapter 10 details the dynamics, versatility, and utility of such longitudinal relationships with business executives—including CEOs of global entities and/or CEO succession candidates.

A discussion of my perspective on factors related to the outcomes of these cases versus those of my clients is provided in chapter 11. While these business leaders confirmed my major beliefs about key coaching factors (traction, trust, and truth-telling),¹¹ their executive reflections brought some surprises as well in terms of what they found most helpful. I offer them as a catalyst for research and practice guidance. As Quick and Nelson state, The exchange between theory and practice should be such that each informs and feeds back to the other so that we are advancing both sound research and useful practice.¹²

Finally, in partnering with the executives in these cases, I have had a fierce reminder. I have been reminded that successful executive coaching outcomes often have less to do with coaches’ tools of the trade, or the elegance of our interpretations, or even with the courage of our observations. Yes, all of these are essential, but they are not, in my view, what distinguish our ability to aid business leaders in their dealing with the stark and relentless pressures of twenty-first-century business dynamics. As capable and resilient as these executives typically are, they can be besieged by the weight of their duties, the ongoing threats of an unstable financial and geopolitical world, the constancy of criticism, the absence of a relevant peer group, and surely by the loneliness of it all.

It is in this sense that what happens during the coaching of top business executives—and what is meaningful to them—is simultaneously and equally focused on (1) leveraging their leadership competencies,¹³ and (2) marshaling their behavioral resources.¹⁴,¹⁵ Such coaching is significantly more subjective, visceral, and enduring—as the coach influences the realization of executives’ destinies as leaders. It encompasses the steadfast presence, compassion, and empathic intimacy executive coaches/trusted advisors maintain and protect in their uncommon relationships with these business leaders. This is the red thread running through each of these cases studies, and I offer this truth as a springboard—or perhaps a provocation—as this still nascent field of executive coaching continues to evolve.

C H A P T E R   1

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The Relentless Champion

Most executive coaching cases begin in a fairly predictable manner. An experienced coach is contacted by the boss or human resources (HR) partner of a talented senior leader, and they discuss the prospective coaching engagement. The coach and executive then meet and in the presence of good chemistry and a clear contract, the work commences—work that is focused on helping a gifted individual become even more effective. Depending on the coach’s model, there can be other steps in between but basically this reflects how the use of executive coaching has shifted from a remedial intervention to that of a powerful development resource. In the words of management consultant guru Ram Charan, As coaching has become more common, any stigma attached to receiving it at the individual level has disappeared. Now, it is often considered a badge of honor.¹

Nothing about the work with Ted was predictable. This executive coaching case began differently. It unfolded differently. It ended differently. In its totality, three coaching practice points are emphasized: (1) the importance of precoaching scrutiny (Is coaching really the right resource?); (2) the partnership with an HR professional; and (3) the value of life stage development theory² in the conceptualization