A Letter To My Baby Mama

By Christopher J. Oaks

"While incarceration is certain to cripple one's self-respect, credibility, and confidence, these losses could never equate to those of the children made fatherless as a result. Although I can in no fashion justify what led to my absence from our family, you deserve the complete picture on a canvas only I can present with hopes of a new beginning."

A Letter to my Baby Mama, at its core, is the story of a father's aspiration to play an active role in his children's lives after serving over 5 years in prison. His biggest hurdle: making amends with the mother of his children.

Christopher Oaks is the best-selling author of Conversations Through The Vent, A Glorious Tale of Redemption. In his second outing, A Letter To My Baby Mama, Oaks takes an even more vulnerable stance to share with readers the potent feelings of sadness, guilt, and humility that have emerged and contributed to strengthening the relationship he has with his children.

• Language: English
• Publisher: SemiColon Press
• Release date: May 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201886332

Book preview

A LETTER

TO MY

BABY MAMA

––––––––

CHRISTOPHER J. OAKS

A Letter To My Baby Mama Copyright © by Christopher Oaks

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the author.

Artwork: Avery Oaks and Zachary Oaks

Semicolon Press

Attn: Author Strategies

7319 Matthews Mint Hill RD STE I #2630 Mint Hill, NC 28227

ISBN: 979-8-218-00145-2 (paperback)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This would not have been possible without the undeniable support and encouragement from the following people who have supported me along the way. They gave me confidence to continue to push through.

Avery Oaks, Zachary Oaks, Lashonda Suetopka, Krystle Sue- topka, Destiny Carson, Crecetta Herbison, Vicki Gabriel,Nina Stewart, Tonya Oaks, Crockett Oaks IV, Ariel Oaks, Andrew Amorosso, Shelah Farley, Michelle Tubby, Stephanie Newman, Timothy Chandler, Lind- say Swihart, Dennis McLaughlin, Torrey Torrence, Timothy Allison, Dewayne Smalls, William Trinidad, Kia Gollat, Cotheia Goldsmith, Emily Ray, Greg, Tadd, Tk, The ENTIRE CEO staff, Trudi Islas, Dari- ous Gabriel, Jermey, Sherrie Banks, Swift, Elmer Gabriel, Robert Shells, Elizabeth Shells, Lil Rib, Unk BLUE, Rylea Johnson, Ro’Scorpio Davis, Sharla Phillips, Janelle Reynolds, Adriane Thomas, Martha Aycox, Andrea Russo, Kimberlynn Keith, DJ GP drop that dope! Tre Ward, Eddie Shells, Jasmine Shells, Sergrio, Shanna, Tim,Uncle Ricky, Destiny Carson, Aunt Neicey, Uncle Clint, Alyssa DiGregorio, DeAndre Mar- tin, Nikkie Jordan, Roshawnda Davis, Will Dismuke, and Joe Lewis, Candidate for House of Representatives District 88.

For all of those I’ve missed, I apologize! But I appreciate EVERYONE who has been a positive light in my world!! Remember #Everyone Still Holds Value!

CONTENTS

My Purpose

A Thin Line Between

Admission of Guilt

This is What Happened

Where Credit is Due

Not a Day Goes By

My Worst Nightmare

Fondest Dreams

Better Late Than Never, But Never Late is Better

Breaking the Cycle

The Power of Forgiveness

Fail To Plan, Then You Plan To Fail

I Got Nothing But Love

Spreading Positivity, It’s Contagious

Conclusion

Redemption

INTRODUCTION

A Letter to My Baby Mama

With the advancement of technology letter writing has nearly become obsolete. Everyone communicates through the phone, whether sending a text message, video calling, sliding through the DMs on social media or even sending emojis. None of these methods will suffice for me in this situation. The conversation I so desperately need to have with you can only be done with a letter.

The advantage of me writing a letter to you is I’ll be able to, even if for a brief time, have your undivided attention. I’ll be able to share my thoughts with you without worry of an argument or getting off topic. I will be free from making the mistakes of having the wrong tone of voice or negative body language. For you to read this letter and we make no progress will mean that I have failed my mission. My singular goal is to come to a mutual understanding with you, which will be absolutely necessary so I can integrate back into my kid’s lives successfully.

This is one of the most important letters I believe I will ever write in my life. So, for that reason I will take great care on how I convey my thoughts and concerns to you. I pray that this can be the turning point to how things have been going thus far. I have grown tremendously as a man and I’m sure you have grown as well. The time is now to make that step forward in the right direction. The entire outcome of our child’s life can be altered by this letter. That is what’s at stake. The future of our baby. So, I humbly ask you to hear me out, bear with me and read A Letter to My Baby Mama.

A Letter To My Baby Mama

7

CHAPTER 1:

My Purpose

After so many wasted years, what can I possibly have to say? All of the birthdays, holidays, good days, bad days, first days of school, sick days, sleep overs with friends, dance recitals, football practices and other events for which I was not present. How can I attempt to right my wrongs and get back into my children’s lives? I’ve asked myself these very questions over the years.

Shame, embarrassment, and a lack of courage kept me in the shadows. When you’re doing wrong, you tend to find refuge in the dark. I knew that I was failing miserably as a father and for a while, I was under the delusions that my kids were better off without me.

Being incarcerated has a way of killing your self-esteem, pride, self-respect, confidence, and credibility. In no way will I try to justify or make excuses for my undesirable performance. I just feel it is necessary for you to see the picture as a whole knowing every detail for two reasons. One; you deserve to know why I have not been present. Two; with full insight, there is hope that things can change.

For me to just reappear after so much time has passed with no

explanation whatsoever and expect you to just roll out the welcome carpet allowing me into my kids’ lives, will not only be illogical it will be unrealistic and foolish on my part.

I’ve asked myself many times over the years, how do I go about this? All of the solutions that I’ve came up with were insufficient. Demanding my parental rights, just showing up and winging it or trying to reach out through the phone or using our parents as go between. All of those negative actions will just produce negative reactions. My only hope is to accomplish my goal, which is to successfully establish a mutual understanding with you that enables me to integrate back into my children’s lives.

The only way that I see fit to do this was to man up! I must take full responsibility, accountability and humble myself. I realize that I am in the wrong and cannot pass blame to no one other than myself.

Realizing this, it is up to me to put forth the effort to be in my kids’ lives. They truly are worth it.

After many years of self-pity and dwelling on my failures, I’ve come to a point in my life where I’ve said Enough! I must do something if I want a change. Wallowing in self-pity and shame is not conducive in implanting positive change.

Finding God, maturing and recreating myself has given me the strength to try to make amends. The longer I would have waited for the perfect time to present itself, would have been the more time I would have wasted until it was too late. I shudder at the thought of my kids wanting nothing to do with me because of my folly. That thought has kept me awake countless of nights to the point where it was undeniable to me that something must be done.

A public letter seemed like the perfect option for several different reasons. One, I have so many things to discuss with you

and I’m not sure if I would have been given the chance to express myself in person. Also, embarrassment by my mistakes makes it hard to even face you and your family. Furthermore, writing to you in this manner gives you a chance