Dreams Of You

By Jeremiah Valentine

Dreams of You: A Story of Self-Discovery, Compassion, and Love.

Leo is an attentive teenager sitting by the bed of his mother at the hospital, she's in a coma and he has been there all day. For the last 30 days, he slept, completed his homework, and spent considerable time at the hospital.

It all changes w

• Language: English
• Publisher: Free Spirit
• Release date: May 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9789394020559

Book preview

FINAL_COVER_kindle-01.jpg

All Rights Reserved

Published by Free Spirit

www.freespiritpublisher.com

First Edition April 2022

Cover Photography by Jeremiah Valentine

Cover Design by Koni Deeraz, Germany

Book Design by Adil Ilyas, Pakistan

ISBN: 978-93-94020-55-9

Price: $22.50

BCID: 889-16511658

(Register on www.bookcrossing.com)

© Jeremiah Valentine

Dedication

Thank you USS Ross, friends and family for making who I am. Thank you for believing in me and for your encouragement. I appreciate you all and this project would have never been completed without you.

Dedication

Part I

Chapter 01 | Death

Chapter 02 | Funeral

Chapter 03 | Manifestation

Chapter 04 | What’s Next?

Chapter 05 | A Girl

Chapter 06 | In Uniform

Chapter 07 | Just Cause

Chapter 08 | The Town

Chapter 09 | Prom

Chapter 10 | Another Letter

Chapter 11 | Prom Part 2

Part II

Chapter 12 | The Future

Chapter 13 | The Future Part 2

Chapter 14 | Summer

Chapter 15 | Boot Camp

Chapter 16 | Standing Watch

Chapter 17 | Dreamcatcher

Chapter 18 | I Hate It Here

Chapter 19 | Sleep Is Good

Chapter 20 | No Title

Part III

Chapter 21 | I’ve Decided

Chapter 22 | Redemption

Chapter 23 | Get It Together

Chapter 24 | Marie

Chapter 25 | Dear Dad

Part IV

Chapter 26 | What Am I?

Chapter 27 | Dreams Fulfilled

Chapter 28 | What Can I Give?

Chapter 29 | Homecoming

Chapter 30 | The Next Day

Chapter 31 | An Explanation

Chapter 32 | Unsolved

Chapter 33 | Full Circle

Chapter 34 | Finding Myself

Chapter 35 | I’ve Decided

The End

Part I

01

Death

Beep… oooh… beep… ooooh… The respirator machine kept monitoring the patient’s breathing. Beep…oooh. Leo was attentive as his mother consumed and released air through tubes. Her chest rose and collapsed, measured and controlled. The machines were keeping her alive. She had been unconscious for a month now.

30 days, he slept, completed his homework, and spent considerable time at the hospital; her health was the only thing necessary to him. His father called him asking for an update every few days. Leo would go home to shower or change clothes; he lived a life with a single purpose, making sure she got better.

His mother made his whole life pause. He wasn’t concerned with typical teenage problems; girls, homework, colleges, and parties; all those things seemed insignificant compared to her. Every person is blessed with one mother; Leo stayed by her side. She is irreplaceable, he thought, I can’t lose her.

His mother is his saving grace, as most are. Leo sat back, sounds of the hospital bouncing off the walls. Status updates on patients, carts rolling down the halls, people constantly shuffling around routinely and frantically. He is seventeen; his childhood wasn’t perfect. She is the constant parent, the reliable one. He started reflecting on their spontaneous trips to get ice cream, road trips to parks, coming to sporting events. She is his number one fan, biggest supporter; she is his best friend. She had been there for him every time he needed her; the least he could do was sit by her side as she lay in this state.

Leo’s stomach started up, wondering when its next meal was coming. He reached in his pocket for the spare change his father left on the kitchen counter for him every morning. His father is good for his wallet and his ability to get kicked out of bars.

Leo’s stomach started again, maintaining its persistence. He stood up, looked at his mother and the hallway leading to the vending machines; he pondered the walk for a moment. He walked down the hallway, took a flight of stairs, and a left turn. He purchased a tuna sandwich and a coke, a constant in his diet the last few weeks. He didn’t have a normal appetite these days, his stomach was winning this round.

He made a right turn around the corner, walked up a flight of stairs, made another right turn, and he started down the hallway. Beep, beep, beep, code blue, code blue, the preprogrammed voice alerted. His heart knew before his mind did, the crash he feared was here. The steps he managed turned into a halt. He was petrified by the level of activity taking place. Doctors and nurses flooded his mother’s room. He couldn’t step closer to watch the nightmare.

A woman was kneeling over his mother’s chest giving chest compressions; a loud tone emitting from the machines; her body jumping off the bed, reflecting the life being forced into her body. Leo watched in agony, his eyes as wide as his body allowed. He needed her; he dreamed of her getting better, sitting up in the bed, making him feel safe and loved, and allowing him to believe everything was fine.

As she continued to flatline, a silent picture started to unfold. The doctors began to confer a sense of defeat in the room; they looked at the clock and called the time of death. The sea of white coats and scrubs dispersed, defeated, each participant emphasizing they did their best. They explained that she was in a vegetative state and showed minimal brain activity.

The sequence of death replays in his mind. He was petrified by reality. He collapsed against the wall in the hallway, silent, raw with emotion.

Honey, who can you call? the nurse said.

What? Leo said, his eyes bloodshot red from tears.

Honey, who can you call to come, pick you up? Her body will be transferred to the morgue soon.

My father can come to get me. Leo managed to say.

Okay, hang in there; we will give him a call. Sorry for your loss, the nurse said as she hugged him. A sense of comfort fell over him; she hugged me like mom used to, he thought. He sobbed into her scrubs, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing tightly. The people around him became unrecognizable as he viewed them with tears in his eyes.

He thought about all the events she would never see. He couldn’t pretend like this event didn’t destroy his world, his safety net. The hole she occupied in his life couldn’t be filled again.

...........

His father showed up an hour later with bloodshot eyes. He questioned the care taken of his wife; phishing for legal grounds to sue the hospital. He started with accusations about every course of treatment that took place. The conversation was a witch hunt, undignified and undeserved.

Leo thought, maybe this is his way of showing he cares. Leo was in the passenger seat as his father drove home. His head leaned on the door as the trees, houses, and traffic glazed by. Leo kept trying to process the aftermath. How could his father question his mother’s care? He wasn’t present for any of it; the doctors did everything they could, right? His father told him he wouldn’t understand, he was a kid, but he was right to stay with his mother until she passed. I guessed he believed he was helping, Leo thought.

His father pulled into the driveway of the home they stayed in all his life. He got out of the car, walked up the driveway, through the front door, and straight to his room. He showered off the hospital tears, crust in his eyes, and the stench of a young man. He dried off and shuffled his way to his bed. He pulled the covers over his damp body. He slept and slept until he couldn’t keep his eyes closed. His stomach demanded substance again, hunger pains wailing out, he ignored the natural desire.

Leo peaked out of the covers, daylight shining through the curtains. He looked at the notebook lying dormant on his nightstand and grabbed it swiftly. He found a cheap dim flashlight in the drawer of the nightstand.

He wrote inside:

Dear Mom,

I miss you. We never got the chance to see Disney World or Yosemite Park like you promised. I have a dad now, I guess. He was there to pick me up. I am home now.

I kept waiting for you to wake up; the machines made you breathe okay. I don’t understand why you never woke up. The house feels so different without you here. I keep waiting to hear you laugh or for you to hum while you wash the dishes.

Thank you for being a good mom. Thank you for teaching me how to make easy mac and cheese. I don’t understand why dad is always angry; I don’t know how to make him happy as you do. I haven’t left my room in two days, and my stomach keeps urging me to eat.

I miss the way you used to hug me; I feel safe when you hug me, I won’t ever feel that way again.

Love you,

Leo

The tears started pouring out of his eyes. His heart swelled with sadness and warmth, feeling his mother’s spirit hugging and embracing him. Leo cried himself to sleep.

...........

I see you, Leo.

Huh, who is that? Leo said.

It’s me.

Mom, I hear you, but I can’t see you, he said softly.

Open your eyes, and you will see me in front of you.

His eyes opened to darkness; his mother was dressed in satin white. A crown of white roses on her head, wearing a graceful gown looking heavenly.

Mom, you look awesome. Are you in heaven?

Well, right now, I am with you.

Wait, if you are dead, how are you here right now?

Well, you wrote to me, and I was sent to hear your letter. It’s in your pocket.

He found the letter, and he read it aloud.

I wanted to say goodbye to you, and I didn’t know how to, Leo said with a soft tone.

Well, you can write to me at any time, but I won’t promise I will be there anytime, she said.

What’s the point? I will never truly get you back; this is just a dream.

One day, you will understand the need for me.

I need you now, Leo said.

Do you?

She faded into the darkness; despite the glow she brought into his eyes, the darkness swallowed her.

His eyes opened, he was back in his bedroom with sunlight slicing through the curtains. He had so many questions. Was I dreaming? Am I crazy? This can not be real. He started searching around the room, hoping she would appear or walk in and tell him that his room was messy. He wanted her to call him from the kitchen and say that lunch was ready. He wanted her to ask what he wanted to do that