Invincible: The Lost Years

By L.A. Clover

Tiarra Blake is a young girl who has been thrown from her seemingly perfect world into one of chaos. She becomes entangled in sex, money, and violence. Almost every path in her new world leads to failure. It seems that no matter which path she takes, she is met with obstacles that seem impossible to overcome. It seems so easy to stop fighting and let herself be swept up in the madness. Thankfully, she has one person there to bring her back to a more positive reality. The only question that's left unanswered is will she let him?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9781387989492

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Invincible:

The Lost Years

L. A. Clover

Copyright © 2022

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief (attributed) quotations embodied in books, articles, and reviews, without written permission of the author or publisher.

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L.A. Clover

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Acknowledgements

Thank You Lord for giving me the vision to create my own story. Also, I must thank every African American female author that has come before me. This book is dedicated to my family, without whom I could not have become the person I am today.

First, SHOUT OUT to GENERATION X!!!

Thank You Mom for keeping a book in my hand. From 70-page chapter books to 500 page novels.

Chaz & Kalif you two are always in my corner no matter if I decided to write a book or try to join the mob. The support you give is unmatched. I Love You and I know there are no better Brothers in this world.

Thank You Linda for all the sisterly guidance you have given me over the years.

Thank You Uncle Carlton for supporting my dreams always.

Thank You Uncle Melvin for being there when I truly needed you.

Thank You Jessie for showing me that I am worth being followed. Without you, I don’t think I could have ever realized the value in myself. I Love You {Ta’Tashiana}.

My BEST FRIEND in the WORLD Janice. Thank you for always believing that I am AMAZING, even though that is CLEARLY an exaggeration. You and my {God}Children will always be in my heart.

Last but NEVER least is my Grandma. Where would I be without you, Love? You are the reason I can do all that I do. There are no thanks, no action, nor any amount of money BIG enough to repay you, but please excuse me while I keep trying.

Thank You to all my friends who inspired me. To name a (very) few: Ella, Whitney, Crystal, Jocelyn, Aries, Rashell, Ebony, Cassandra, etc. the list could go on for days!!!

Also, all my students who were my little guinea pigs… ya’ll know who you are!

~If I missed you, don’t worry… there is always the next book~

***RIP my Brother and Friend Christopher L. Dozier – You’re always in my heart***

Love Always,

L.A. Clover

Invincible

I never thought anything bad could ever happen to me. Why would I? My life was perfect. I was immune to all the bullshit happening around me. All the ills of the world never affected me or my family, so why should I care about it?

I was thirteen and, like I said, my life was perfect. I never wanted for anything. My Daddy worked every day to make sure me and Mommy had everything we could ever desire. We weren’t rich, but we were comfortable. We lived in a decent neighborhood, on the East Side of Buffalo, NY. I liked my neighborhood because I knew everyone, and they knew me. I couldn’t walk down the street without speaking to almost everyone I saw. It was a comforting feeling. Mommy wanted to move, but Daddy liked it right where we were. He told me it was better than what he had growing up. I couldn’t help but agree. Before my Grandmother died, we used to go see her. She refused to move from the projects in Downtown Buffalo, even though Daddy offered to pay for everything. I remember walking into her building and being so scared. There would be random men lying in the hallways, which always smelled pissy and had writing all over the walls. I hated it so much that when my grandmother died, I could help but be happy I would never have to go back to her house.

My Daddy was a quiet man. All he did was work and come home.  He didn’t have many friends that I could remember. The most socializing he did was watch the game with the few friends he did have every week. He was the perfect family man. Every day when he came home, he would sit in his big chair, and I would sit in his lap and talk about my day. We would talk, do my homework, and play until it was time for dinner.

Mommy was opposite of Daddy. She was a stay at home mom, but, as she would remind us, that didn’t mean she didn’t work. She always said that taking care of us was like a full-time job. Mommy was extremely social. She knew everybody on our block and all their business. Dinner was time for her to tell me and Daddy all the new gossip of the neighborhood. Daddy teased her about being nosy all the time. Mommy would play mad, and I would just laugh at them. Our home was warm and comforting. We weren’t the perfect family, but our lives were better than most.

We were happy. I was in my little bubble, and I thought that nothing could pop it. That was until I got the phone call that changed my life.

The Call

Hello

Tiarra?

Who is this?

Your parents just got shot!

WHAT!!! WHO IS THIS?

This is Jamel, I’ll be there to pick you up in 5 minutes, be ready.

Click.

I hurried up and put on some clothes. What was going on? Shot? My parents? WHAT WAS GOING ON? Is this a joke? This must be a bad joke. Shot? Who would shoot my parents? Please God, let this be a joke.

I waited outside in front of my building for my cousin to pick me up. He pulled up and got out of the car and immediately embraced me. I felt myself shaking in his arms. I was trying so hard not to cry. I was still hoping in my head that they made a mistake. Maybe it was another couple and they had mistaken them for my parents. Hopefully. 

When I first got into the car, we were silent.

What happened, I asked

T, I don’t even want to talk about it right now. Let’s just get you to the hospital. I’ll fill you in on the details later, you need to be there for them now, he replied.

Ok, I murmured. So, it wasn’t a joke. My last chance was that it was mistake. I held on to the that hope that my parents were not hurt.

The rest of the ride was deadly silent. It seemed like the longest ride of my life. We finally arrived at the hospital after ten minutes. We rushed out of the car. Jamel led the way to the emergency room with me close on his heels. When we went through the double doors a nurse stopped us.

May I help you? she asked.

We’re looking for Jantia and Christopher Blake, Jamel told her. She typed my parents’ names into the computer. She looked at us then back at the screen. She told us to hold on a minute. She made a hushed phone call on the phone.

The doctor will be here in a moment, she said.

Doctor? Why couldn’t I go see my parents? All I could do was pray that everything was ok.

The doctor walked out of a room straight toward us. The look on his face was dismal. I knew that he didn’t have anything good to say. Then the feeling came over me. I knew that it wasn’t a mistake. My parents had been shot! I covered my ears as if I was stopping myself from telling myself the truth. Then I shut my eyes and started saying over and over again, louder and louder each time, no, no, no, No, No, No, NO, NO, NO!!! Jamel tried to grab me, but I tried to pull away with all my strength.

GET OFF OF ME! I screamed repeatedly, but he didn’t. He continued to hold me. I finally gave up and just collapsed on the floor. I cried harder than I had ever remembered crying before. I remember getting extremely dizzy. Then it all went black.

*****

Before I opened my eyes, I was happy for one fleeting moment.

It was all a dream, I thought. I was at home lying in my bed. I never got that phone call. I never went to the hospital. I never saw that doctor with that disastrous look on his face. No, none of it has happened. It was all a dream. Then I opened my eyes and realized I was lying in a hospital bed, not my bed at home. I looked up and saw Jamel asleep in a chair. I tried to get up but felt dizzy and fell hard back down on the bed, waking up Jamel.

Hey T, how are you feeling? he said smiling weakly.

What’s going on? I demanded immediately

I’m sorry T, Jamel started with a tear in his eye, They both died. Your mother died instantly, and your father fought, but he died in surgery. They tried to revive him but no matter what they did they had no response. I’m so sorry T.

The whole time he spoke my eyes welled up with tears. I couldn’t believe it. Jamel embraced me and I cried on his shoulder. Jamel was almost as close with my parents as I was. I knew he understood the amount of pain I was feeling.

Why? was all I could manage to say. Then a doctor walked in.

Ah, she’s up, she said cheerfully. How dare her be happy? My parents were just taken from me, and she was cheerful. I looked at her with disgust over my cousin’s shoulder. Her smile immediately evaporated.

I’m sorry for your loss Ms. Blake. We have a religious adviser readily available if you feel you will need it, she continued. When I didn’t respond she started to walk over to me and check my blood pressure.

After she checked all of my vitals, she told me she was going to go get my discharge papers drawn up.  Jamel started to help me up, but I didn’t budge.

Come on, let’s go,

Go where? I asked. I couldn’t go home. It would be so empty. All I wanted to do was lay there. I didn’t want to go anywhere unless I was going to magically see my parents again.

We’re going to your house to get you some clothes.

Then where are you taking me? I didn’t have the strength to argue with him.

To my mother's house, come on, he said impatiently. I had the urge to protest, but I couldn’t find the strength.

I got up. We went by the nurse’s desk to get my discharge papers; then we left the hospital. I got into the car still praying that this was a dream. I shut my eyes tightly said a little prayer, then opened them quickly. I looked over at Jamel.

Please tell me that this is a dream, I begged.

If I thought that it would help, I would tell you that but it won’t help. You need to face it now or it will hurt more later. I know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better but know that I am here for you if you need me. We have a lot of business to take care of over the next couple of days and you have to be up for it.

I just glared at him. Then I turned my head to look out of the window. How could I take care of business without my Mother and Father? Take care of what business?

What business? I couldn’t help but ask.

The apartment, the wake, the funeral, your parent’s things, and you,

Me? What do you mean me?

I know you don’t want to think about it now, but better now than later. We need to decide where you are going to stay. You don’t have to answer me now but just keep it in mind, ok?

Ok, I replied softly. It didn’t matter. I knew I wouldn’t be able to put my heart into anything. I felt so lost and alone. I sat in Jamel's car as if I was the corpse. I didn’t move, I barely breathed. I just stared straight ahead not caring what came next.

We rode the rest of the way in silence.

When we arrived at my building I didn’t want to get out. I just looked up toward our apartment. I didn’t want to go into my house with the realization that I would see all my parent’s thing, pictures and memories. 

As I was looking up Jamel came over and opened my door.

You got your keys? he asked. I nodded my head.

I got out slowly. When we entered the building, I felt butterflies in my stomach. We walked over to the elevator and pushed the button. The doors opened immediately. We walked into the elevator. The closer we got to the 4th floor the faster my heart beat. When the elevator stopped, and the doors opened Jamel stepped off of the elevator. I didn’t move. Jamel looked back and stood in between the doors to stop them from closing. I walked off the elevator slowly. Then I felt tears rolling down my face. Jamel held out his hand for the keys. I handed them to him. He unlocked the door and walked right in. I hesitated.

I decided to just rush to my room and grab some clothes and leave. No looking around, no glimpsing at anything. Just straight to my room and back out of the door. Only, my eyes couldn’t help but to wander over to the living room where Mommy gossiped on the phone endlessly. I couldn’t help but to look at Daddy’s favorite chair and remember how he used to hold me against his chest when I was younger. Then I looked on the wall and saw the portrait of my parents on their wedding day. The room started to spin, and I had to sit down. Jamel sat next to me on the couch and held my hand. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Why did they have to leave me? Why did God let this happen to me? Of all people, how did He decide that my parents deserved this? What kind of life could I have now? I don’t have any parents. I was an orphan.

I finally got up and walked back to my room; past the kitchen where Mommy had just started teaching me how to cook, past the bathroom where Mommy taught me how to wear makeup just 3 days ago, past their room, and into mine.

I looked around and remembered how Daddy had come in here and told me about boys just less than a year ago. I looked into my mirror and remembered how Daddy had called me beautiful, with or without makeup, when I got frustrated because I couldn’t do makeup as good as Mommy yet. Then I tried to block out all memories and just get my clothes. I looked in my closet and started to throw some clothes on my bed. When