Vietnam, My Deliverance; Traumatic Stress, My Salvation: A Biblical, Systematic, and Reformational Theology for People with Traumatic Stress (P.T.S.D.)

By Jim Carmichael

Post-traumatic stress disorder is both a gift and tool in God’s hands. The Lord has designed a person’s brain to adjust to the rigors of combat or abuse. Combat’s despair can also drive us to Christ.

Jim Carmichael, Ph.D. looks back at his service in Vietnam and how it impacted his life upon returning home in this book. More importantly, he reveals how God led him to find redemption, obedience to God, and transformation into the image of Jesus Christ through suffering.

In sharing his story, the author seeks to answer questions such as:
· What is the purpose of PTSD?
· Why don’t all combatants suffer from PTSD?
· How can God deliver individuals from bondage?
· What can be done to prevent PTSD victims from dying by suicide?

The author stresses that the Veterans Administration should do more to teach veterans and their families about how the brain changes when it’s subjected to constant stress. He also highlights how combatants throughout history have been impacted by stress.

Join the author as he praises and thanks God for using the horrors of Vietnam to drive him to Christ.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: May 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781489741479

Jim Carmichael

Jim Carmichael, Ph.D., grew up in Arlington, Texas, and joined the Marines in high school in 1967. He served with Echo Co. 2/26, 3rd. Mar. Div. and rotated out of the bush in December 1968. He became a civilian in April 1970 and graduated from Bible College in 1981. He planted a church in Texas, but the lasting impact of the war led him to resign several years later. He was eventually diagnosed with delayed post-traumatic stress disorder. He has taught Bible courses in many countries and completed his Ph.D. in 2016.

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Copyright © 2022 Jim Carmichael.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scriptures taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-4897-4146-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-4147-9 (e)

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 05/04/2022

CONTENTS

In Dedication

In Thanksgiving

Abbreviations

Glossary of Terms

Illustrations

Preface

Introduction

PART ONE

How Combat Stress Is Defined Today

Somewhere In The DMZ . . .

Pills, Pills, and More Pills; What About Medication?

PART TWO

The History of P.T.S.D.: 5,000 B.C. to the Civil War

Growing Up With a P.T.S.D. Father

The History of P.T.S.D.: Post Civil War to WWII

Out of the Bush, Out of the Corps

Diagnosing My P.T.S.D., and the Problem of V.A. Misdiagnosis

Traumatic Stress and Brain Transformation

What Happened to the Old Bob? Anhedonia and Emotional Numbing

The History of P.T.S.D.: The Korean War to Afghanistan

PART THREE

A Quick Word Before We Proceed

Inside Out: Why Christianity Is Different From All Other Religions

God’s Glory Must Become Man’s Chief Aim

Why We, from Ourselves, Will Never Glorify God

The Tyranny of the Theological Oughts

God’s Decrees and You

God’s Eternal Works of Providence: Foreknowledge, Predestination, and Election

God Himself Applies the Benefits of Christ to Those Who Believe

More Benefits Christ Won for Christians

Biblical Theology and Our Trauma

The Kingdom of God and Combat Trauma

The Covenant and Combat Trauma

Spouses and the Covenant

The Mediator and Combat Trauma

The Temple and Combat Trauma

The Land (of Promise) and Combat Trauma

God’s Covenant of Mercy Best Explains the Brain Changes

G.L.iT.C.S. Rather Than P.T.S.D.

A Biblical Understanding of Suicide

A Biblical Solution for Suicide

Jesus Taught Us How to Think Truthfully About Loss

Forgiven and Forgiving

Bibliography

About the Author

IN DEDICATION

To the men of Echo Co., 2/26, who fought, bled, and died for something much greater than themselves. "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." John 15:13

Khe Sanh Marine, Michael E. O’Hara, has written of his combat experiences and the Bible verse quoted above. When we mixed it up on 30 March with Charlie, the chain of events of that day would sear a man’s mind for eternity. There was much carnage that day of course. I still wonder how human beings can continue to do that to each other but seem to continue to find ways. But what has stayed with me always, what makes me so PROUD, is the heart and courage these young new friends of mine displayed that day. I have said many, many times over the course of my life the following. It is one thing to read in our Bibles the verse in John 15:13 which says Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. It is an entirely different thing to actually witness young men, on more than one occasion, do precisely that. It will humble you beyond description. It is why so many of us, myself included, will always defend their Honour.

The list of Marines & Corpsmen (below) killed in action (KIA) at Khe Sanh serving on hills 558 and 861a, from 16 Jan. ’68, the day we left Phu Bai, until 12 Apr. ’68, when we left Khe Sanh.

LTJG Robert R. Brett, CHC USNR - 1/Lt. Fernando Distefano USMC - 1/Lt. Alfred Jordan USMC - S/Sgt. Glenn H. Calvin USMC - Sgt. Billy R. McCall USMC - HM2 Charles T. Langenfield USN* - Cpl. Carlos C. Aguirre USMC - Cpl. Herman A. Lohman, Jr. USMC - Cpl. Artis W. Meadows, Jr. USMC - Cpl. Edward A. McGrath USMC - Cpl. George A. Pruitt USMC - Cpl. Donald R. Schroeder USMC - Cpl. James M. Trimble USMC - Cpl. Kenneth R. Williams USMC - HM3 Russell W. Scarborough USN - LCpl. Lionel R. Crase USMC - LCpl. Julius C. Foster USMC - LCpl. Gerrie G. Jeffries USMC - LCpl. Eugene M. Johnson, Jr. USMC - LCpl. Tyrone F. Lamitie USMC** - LCpl. Joseph A. Mollettiere USMC - LCpl. Max A. Nelson USMC - LCpl. Manuel V. Romero USMC - LCpl. John M. Snyder, Jr. USMC - LCpl. Louis F. Staples USMC - LCpl. Harold A. Strausbaugh USMC - LCpl. James R. Wells USMC - LCpl. Gilbert Wiley USMC - LCPl. James A. Wood USMC - LCpl. William L. Yohn USMC - HM Roger M. Nelson USN - HM James C. Delaplane USN* - HM Joseph Lopez USN* - HM Donald A. Labonte USN - Pfc. Gilbert J. Adams USMC - Pfc. Thomas J. Bayes USMC - Pfc. Jack C. Bagard USMC - Pfc. Clifford G. Borrell USMC - Pfc. Francis Carter USMC - Pfc. Alexander S. Chin USMC - Pfc. Allen J. Gaines USMC - Pfc. David A. Cramer USMC - Pfc. Melvin L. Dolby USMC - Pfc. Arthur L. Edmonds USMC - Pfc. Adolpo A. Gomez USMC - Pfc. Earl W. Heifner USMC - Pfc. Edward V. Masters USMC - Pfc. Rickey J. Marson USMC - Pfc. Clifton Moses USMC - Pfc. Anthony J. Pepper USMC - Pfc. Lloyd G. Seal USMC - Pfc. Hector L. Semidey USMC - Pfc. Alan R. Smith USMC - Pfc. Charles R. Stephenson USMC** - Pfc. Ernest V. Taylor USMC - Pfc. Michael V. Wright USMC - Pfc. Gilbert Zerbst USMC - Pvt. B.M. Hillimon USMC - Pvt. John F. Quattlebaum USMC

* LCpl. stands for Lance Corporal, E-3.

* Designates one of three corpsman KIA by a 122mm rocket, one day before we left Khe Sanh at hill 558.

** Designates a close Marine buddy, KIA at same moment on Feb. 5, 1968.

* All Bible quotes are from the 1995 NASB translation unless otherwise stated.

* All other pictures in this work are from the public domain

* All Bible verses from NASB 95

IN THANKSGIVING

To my God and Savior, Messiah Jesus.

Everything I have, I am, or ever will be

has come from and because of You. I bless You.

To my daughter, Lara, who endured so much from me.

To Scott Hicken for his suggestions on what

should be included in this work.

Mark 2:22 No one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost and the skins as well; but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins.

ABBREVIATIONS

Old Testament

Genesis/Gen.

Exodus/Ex.

Leviticus/Lev.

Numbers/Num.

Deuteronomy/Dt.

Joshua/Josh.

Judges/Judg.

Ruth/Ruth

1 Samuel/1 Sam.

2 Samuel/2 Sam.

1 Kings/1 Kgs.

2 Kings/2 Kgs.

1 Chronicles/1 Chr.

2 Chronicles/2 Chr.

Ezra/Ezra

Nehemiah/Neh.

Esther/Est.

Job/Job

Psalms/Ps. (Pss)

Proverbs/Prov.

Ecclesiastes/Eccl.

Song of Solomon (Canticles)/Song

Isaiah/Isa.

Jeremiah/Jer.

Lamentations/Lam.

Ezekiel/Ezek.

Daniel/Dan.

Hosea/Hos.

Joel/Joel

Amos/Amos

Obadiah/Ob.

Jonah/Jon.

Habakkuk/Hab.

Zephaniah/Zeph.

Haggai/Hag.

Zechariah/Zech.

Malachi/Mal.

Micah/Mic.

Nahum/Nah.

Habakkuk/Hab.

Zephaniah/Zeph.

Haggai/Hag.

Zechariah/Zech.

Malachi/Mal.

New Testament & Abbreviations

Matthew/Mt.

Mark/Mk.

Luke/Lk.

John/Jn.

Acts/Acts

Romans/Rom.

1 Corinthians/1 Cor.

2 Corinthians/2 Cor.

Galatians/Gal.

Ephesians/Eph.

Philippians/Phil.

Colossians/Col.

1 Thessalonians/1 Thess.

2 Thessalonians/2 Thess.

1 Timothy/1 Tim.

2 Timothy/2 Tim.

Titus/Tit.

Philemon/Phlm.

Hebrews/Heb.

James/Jas.

1 Peter/1 Pet.

2 Peter/2 Pet.

1 John/1 Jn.

2 John/2 Jn.

3 John/3 Jn.

Jude/Jude

Revelation/Rev.

GLOSSARY OF TERMS

ANE Ancient Near East

Boot A Marine with little experience

CONUS Continental United States

Corporate Adam Israel

DMZ Demilitarized Zone

Eschatology: The part of theology concerned with death, judgment, and the final destiny of the soul and of humankind. Christian hope is concerned with eschatology, or the science of last things.

ESV English Standard Version of the Bible

The Flesh The characteristic of life in the flesh includes self-absorption, self-reliance an indulgence, dependance on outward ceremony and ritual instead of inward spiritual reality, and clinging to the shadow instead of to Christ (Gal. 3:3; 5:19-21).

Imputed righteousness A concept in Christian theology proposing that the righteousness of Christ—is imputed to [believers in Christ]—that is, treated as if it were theirs through faith. It is on the basis of Jesus’ righteousness alone that God accepts humans. This acceptance is also referred to as justification.

Life The meaning of life is to know God, and to enjoy God, and to reflect some of the beauty of God as we know him in Christ, and one day to see him perfectly and unendingly enjoy him. The meaning of life now, the purpose of life in this age, is not comfort in this world now, nor escape from suffering now, nor the avoidance of loss now, nor the maximizing of physical pleasures now, nor the amassing of riches now, nor the achievement of any fame now, nor the right to any health now, nor that we would be treated with respect and justice now. Those are not the meaning of life in this age for God’s people.

MCRD Marine Corps Recruit Depot Boot Camp

Merit (Latin: meritum) is a good work done that is seen to have a claim to a future reward from a graceful God.

Mortify . . . is to have the attitude of self-denial that is willing to give up all. Christ’s disciples live to serve God, not self. Paul admonishes us to put off our former conduct and put to death our sinful actions.

N.B. Nota Bene Observe carefully or take special notice (used in written text to draw attention to what follows.

P.T.S.D. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Regeneration However, while we cannot usually distinguish the point at which the Holy Spirit changes our hearts from the point at which we come to Christ, it must be noted that regeneration always takes place before we exercise faith. Our new life — our love for and trust of the Savior — flows from the new birth, not vice versa. This is clearly taught in John 3:3 where Jesus tells us we cannot even see the kingdom of God unless we are first born again. If we cannot see the kingdom, we certainly cannot enter it; thus, regeneration precedes faith. In regenerating our hearts, the Holy Spirit opens our eyes, making us able to obey in faith. (emphasis added)

Reconciliation The Greek word translated reconciliation literally means to change completely. In Colossians 1:20–22, the Bible states that all us sinners are alienated from God and enemies in their minds by wicked works, yet God has provided reconciliation through Christ’s death. . . . This is the only way a person can be reconciled to God.

Redemption In Christian theology, redemption (Greek: apolutrosis) refers to the deliverance of Christians from sin. It assumes an important position in salvation because the transgressions in question form part of a great system against which human power is helpless.

R.O.E. Rules of Engagement

Salvation The thorough and complete salvation from the punishment of sin, and the power of sin, on which He (God) is desirous of exalting the glory of His strength, and this is the strength which He calls you to take hold upon.

Sanctification Addresses the dominion and corruption of sin in our lives. It is God’s renewing and transforming our whole persons—our minds, wills, affections, and behaviors. It is an ongoing and progressive work in our lives. Justifying faith faith actively and eagerly takes up all the commands that Christ has given the believer.

Satisfaction God’s Justice is served by the work of Christ who satisfies the demands of God’s righteousness, thereby maintaining God’s commitment to righteousness and justice. God satisfied the demands of His righteousness by giving to us a Substitute who stands in our place, offering that satisfaction for us.

VA Veterans Administration

V.A.M.C. Veterans Administration Medical Center

Vicegerent An earthly representative of God exercising delegated power on behalf of a sovereign or ruler.

WCF Westminster Confession of Faith

WSC Westminster Shorter Catechism

ILLUSTRATIONS

All copyrighted illustrations from depositphotos.

PREFACE

My wife and I moved to the Atlanta, GA, area in 2007—to be close to the grandkids. I was pretty content in O’Fallon, MO, thank you very much. Moving involves house hunting, and my wife loves that type of thing. I’d rather take a beating. Looking at different homes and neighborhoods wasn’t too bad for a while. I spent time getting to know our realtor, driving around the area looking for the house. But there was one overcast Saturday Catherine, and I drove around Lake Lanier. She didn’t say anything to me to trigger me, but I started to get angry and became very uncooperative and then sullen. Her cheery demeanor and positive attitude worsened my agitation, bless her heart. When it began to rain, I didn’t care if my wife left me on the side of the road. Catherine finally gave up in disgust. I crawled into a dark hole for the remainder of the day

Ps. 66:16 Come and hear, all who fear God, And I will tell of what He has done for my soul.

I am in a good place now. Traumatic stress is still part of my life these days, but it doesn’t reign over me and my marriage as it once did. My whole worldview and demeanor have changed. Catherine and I rarely argue because of the effects of Vietnam. I love her more now than I did when we married over fifty-three years ago. I want to tell you in this book how the Lord has brought Catherine and me to this place.

The first thing you need to know is the focus of this book. The main theme is not about a cure for P.T.S.D.—primarily. It’s not about how to be happy—primarily. It’s not about how to get past traumatic stress—primarily. It’s not about what husbands ought to do—primarily. It’s not about how religion and theology can help you—primarily. It’s about the Person and work of Jesus the Messiah—PRIMARILY as He relates to the effects of battle and our thought processes and behaviors as a result. I want to introduce you to my God and brother, Jesus.

Vietnam rarely comes to mind these days, and I have no survivor guilt. Having a Ph.D. is fine as far as that goes. My favorite title, however, is Marine grunt. Working on a doctorate as opposed to surviving Khe Sanh and the DMZ isn’t even in the same category of endeavors. The former was a piece of cake compared to the latter. The latter is not worthy to be compared with knowing and being known by Christ my Savior.

I have a story to tell you about Jesus and what He has done for my wife and me. Every aspect of my life these days is in its proper place because of the life and death-work of Christ on my behalf. In my last year of high school, I believed the Marine Corps was the answer to my pursuit of meaning. I kept waiting for a call from Tom Landry of the Dallas Cowboys. They needed my help to win their first Super bowl—I convinced myself. Coach Landry didn’t call. Well, what else could I do? I thought I’d bless the Marines with my gung ho attitude. After all, I’d seen John Wayne climb Mt. Suribachi a dozen times in The Sands of Iwo Jima. Turn me loose!

Ps. 71:15 My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness And of Your salvation all day long.

When we consider P.T.S.D., we seldom think of it as a positive. We experience it as something that interrupts, interferes with, and can destroy our lives. It harms relationships and makes everyone generally miserable. No matter how we experience traumatic stress, we wouldn’t wish it on our worst enemy. Psychology is the typical approach to getting it under control.

The VA’s Mental Health Department diagnosed me with traumatic stress from Vietnam, beginning in Sioux Falls, S.D. I spent six weeks in the Denver V.A.M.C., P.T.S.D. program. We moved back to St. Louis, MO. area and I enrolled in the Jefferson Barracks, program. Now we live in the Atlanta, GA. area. I have gone through several years of VA counseling programs here. One day it all ended. Their goal was to stabilize me so that I wouldn’t kill myself. After years of classes and therapy, I am no longer required to see their Psychiatrists.

As an aside, the Soviet-Ukrainian Vietnam veterans used to get free trolley car rides for serving their country. That was the extent of their government assistance. I know this because I taught theology in Ukraine for almost two decades and I met one of those veterans. On our first visit, Viktor’s combat trauma manifested itself through tears, anger, and words of regret and loss. Viktor advised the Viet Cong in IV Corps, the Delta region of Vietnam.

I found the classes throughout the VA unhelpful. Each VA Mental Health department deals with trauma’s effects differently. The doctor at Denver V.A.M.C. had actually spent time in a combat zone as a trauma M.D. in a MASH unit in Vietnam. He, too, had been diagnosed with P.T.S.D. None of my other psychiatrists had seen combat.

Too many Mental Health professionals today are either atheists, many of whom hold to some form of materialism; this life is all there is. Unfortunately, this worldview disregards the spiritual nature of man written on theirs as well as their patient’s souls (See Rom. 1:18ff). A veteran’s dignity and value as a creature made in God’s image is too often disregarded. I have no doubt most of these professional caregivers are dedicated, people. It is the anti-God mentality of the System itself that hinders progress as the living God intended.

My time at the four U.S. VAs exposed me to various aspects of cognitive or behavioral psychology. In Denver, how I chose to use my six weeks of instruction was up to me. In their cognitive approach to our struggles as veterans, the soulish emptiness of the classes was palpable.

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, the nearness of God is good for me; I have made the Lord God my refuge, So that I may tell of all Your works.

To discover a true understanding of traumatic stress, I would not find it at the VA. The real issue has come down to knowing how to think about what the VA calls a disorder. That led me to address its origins. The VA kept asking the wrong questions because God didn’t enter the equation. God didn’t exist. Or if He did, God’s part belonged on the back end, with the effects of trauma in a time-space continuum. Psychiatry lives playing catching up to what walks into the VA mental health group therapy sessions.

The Godhead lives, not in timelessness, but the divine understands the eternal as well as the temporal—past is past, present is present, and future is future to this triune God. God became man in the past, suffering daily in the present and on behalf of the people He created and now hate Him. Jesus came as close to traumatic stress as we define it today when He and His disciples spent several hours in the Garden of Gethsemane waiting for His arrest, and later, His crucifixion. Jesus the Messiah sweat great drops of blood over yielding His human will to the Father’s. He knows this cranial infirmity infinitely more than ten thousand times ten thousand psychiatrists.

In my time with these VA doctors, not one of them can answer correctly the reason for this malady or give its purpose. If they reply, great and continual stress causes it, or it serves no purpose, I know they don’t grasp the significance of the questions. They can narrate only the effects of stress, and then give their best guesses as to the best method of dealing with it from that point.

These physicians cannot heal themselves much less give trauma’s purpose. For them, it’s the only reason for existence is misery.

John Hendryx captures one main design of this affliction,

It seems that Jesus brings about events in our lives that will reveal our insufficiency so that we might find Him. For as long as we pridefully think all we can help ourselves (even a little), He remains hidden. But take note, it is by the grace of God we are what we are, which means that even the very humility needed to recognize the truth and excellency of Jesus does not come naturally. It is a gift of grace. When Peter acknowledged Jesus was the Son of the living God, Jesus quickly quenched any pride that might rise in Peter by reminding him that even his very understanding of this was not revealed by flesh and blood but by His Father in heaven. This strips man of all possible hope in himself, even understanding or lifting a finger toward God. Christ is awakened, as it were, when he hears us pray, for then, we no longer are looking to our resources nor think we have the ability in ourselves.

Doctors attempt to find trauma’s point of healing, in order to be done with it. Healing always looks good on a resume. Their oath demands they do no harm. Any healing process that leads a patient away from the source of life itself, Christ, are they not doing harm?

Only once in all those classes did an attending psychiatrist mention the changes in the brain due to continual stress. The typical approach to traumatic stress feeds the need for psychiatry. From the research you will read in this book, it has become clear that combat traumatic stress is anything but a mental health disorder. The brain changes in many different ways when you leave it in the pressure cooker of combat. For First Responders and abused women and children, it is known as progressive traumatic stress. I don’t like the term P.T.S.D. because it doesn’t reflect reality in an open, moral cosmos.

Romans 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches, both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! 34 For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? 35 Or who has first given to Him, that it would be paid back to him? 36 For from Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.

INTRODUCTION

In this work, I will identify and answer several questions, What is combat traumatic stress, better known these days as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (P.T.S.D.)? More importantly, how is the best way of understanding it and treating it? I have spent years studying this topic, first, to better come to terms with the mind of God revealed in the pages of the Bible on this subject. And second, to understand it me and its effects on me, and thus be able to explain its purpose to others. My study continues as a work in progress. Many professionals will disagree with my conclusions. That’s fine. All of us must stand before God on that great and terrible day of His justice. I can’t wait.

I was diagnosed with delayed combat traumatic stress almost three decades after I rotated out of the bush in Vietnam. I served with Echo Co., 2/26. But even before I joined the military, I suffered both physical and emotional abuse at my dad’s hands. He was a Korean War combat veteran (1952-53). He flew medivac missions as a Marine Reserve pilot. He was not diagnosed with combat trauma, but he had it.

I have attempted suicide once, despite having graduated from Bible College and Covenant Theological Seminary. To tell me I ought to be ashamed of myself, or How selfish I am, or Sadness is no excuse reveals the depth of a person’s ignorance of this issue and the complexity of my depression. It wasn’t until years later after I resigned as pastor of my second church that I realized why I was so angry and depressed much of the time.

My wife and I trusted Christ in mid-1972. I wasn’t diagnosed with traumatic stress until 1997. In 2016, after forty-eight years of biblical and theological instruction, God revealed to me that when Jesus laid down His life on the cross for me, all of my combat in Vietnam accompanied Him. God nailed it all to the tree. The pain and sadness of it left me. The Holy Spirit keeps applying the benefits of Christ’s life, death, resurrection, ascension, and intercession to me. In the fullness of time--over almost fifty years--the Holy Spirit has worked behind the scenes, renewing me and destroying the works of the devil, the flesh, and sin in me.

This study you hold in your hands or view on your iPad contains what I am convinced is the truth about traumatic stress. I am open to correction where that can be proven to me, though. On one hand, I have written from personal experience and observation. On the other hand, I have used massive amounts of the Bible to temper and interpret my experiences and observations. All things must be subject to the authority of the Bible. I am a supernaturalist, biblically speaking. I am settled in my stance on the inerrancy, authority, and infallibility of the Bible. Current science submits to no one, but that’s to its detriment.

Let me get to the punch line. I have struggled to make sense of my traumatic stress since about four years old. I cannot thank the Lord enough for giving me the desire to join the military, ensuring I went to war and returning with the adverse effects of combat. You might want to read that again. My greatest blessings have come as a result of the impact of Korea and Vietnam on me. I suppose you have to have a screw loose to join the Marine Corps. Yes, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But I speak words of somber truth. So, this book is either nonsense, or there may be something to it. The best part of Christianity is that God gives Himself entirely to those who repent of their sin and trust Him. He then becomes their inheritance.

So, if you are a wife of a veteran who served one or multiple tours, a spouse of a Law Enforcement or in the Fire Service—a First Responder, a rape victim, or perhaps a child or teen of abuse, I have written this for you too. Maybe you had a bad experience at a church, and you swore off God. Trust me, I get it. Nobody has understood how I can be an angry or depressed Christian at the churches I’ve pastored or attended. I get it. But no matter how bad things have become, the local church is still God’s ordinary means of grace through preaching, the Sacraments, baptism, and discipline. The Church IS a hospital for very sick and hypocritical people, even though it is Christ’s Bride and body.

The late Greg Bahnsen states this point clearly, The plea for Christians to surrender to neutrality in their thinking is not an uncommon one. Nevertheless, it strikes at the very heart of our faith and of our faithfulness to the Lord. In this work, the author does not take a neutral stance on the things of God. I aim to point you to Christ. There is a surer foundation than psychology—much surer. I am committed to the inspiration, inerrancy, truthfulness, and trustworthiness of the Bible.

I maintain that the wisest starting position for combat traumatic stress is the Bible. For example, suppose you want to know about June 6, 1944, and Omaha Beach, the composition of uranium, how many light-years we are from the first star past Pluto, what officials look for in pass interference in the NFL, or how to cook a turkey. In that case, you don’t need to understand the Bible. Bahnsen again, Honesty demands for them (Christians) to put aside all distinctly Christian commitments when they study in an area which is not directly related to matters of Sunday worship. One person I talked to was amazed that I had written a book about combat trauma using the Bible as my source for learning how to think about it. I cannot begin this project from what we might describe as an attitude of we still don’t know. Of course, we know. Agnosticism is escapism.

I don’t presume to believe that in terms of academics, I must place my Christian theism on a shelf because it will only interfere with reality or honesty in my or anyone else’s educational pursuits. Thus, I won’t surrender my faith on any temporary basis for the sake of a neutral stance, especially in terms of a subject in a desperate search for right/truthful thinking.

This book is comprised of three parts. Part One discusses trauma’s contemporary definition, an event I endured in Vietnam, and information about the various types of medication in use today. Part Two details the long history of traumatic stress in three separate sections, beginning in India around 5,000 B.C. and finishing with the twenty-first century A.D., life with my dad, my life with combat trauma after leaving Vietnam and the Marine Corps, misdiagnosis of traumatic stress in the VA, how the brain is transformed during combat, and Anhedonia and Emotional numbing.

Part Three is Biblical and theological in nature. My purpose in this last part is to show that combat trauma cannot be dealt with properly or ultimately until and unless Christ becomes the center of all investigation. This is the manner in which God has led me over the decades to reach this point in my life.

I have included Questions for review. It’s easy to move from chapter to chapter without pausing to reflect on why you think like you do. I can’t change your mind on any topic or statement. Only God can do that, but one of the ways He uses is through meditation on what’s true. Please read the Bible verses. This book is as much for spouses as it is for veterans, et al.

My wife and I began our Christian walk in another evangelical system of theology. I am thankful for that theological system because it takes the Bible seriously. I left it after twenty years because I realized God was leading me in another theological direction—Reformational theology. My former system could not supply answers that would withstand the weight my tour of combat brought to bear on it. In my present system, I discovered God’s sovereignty, that is to say, His actual rule over all things, to which that former system only gave lip service. There are other reasons for my departure from the past, but suffice it to say, I praise God for my current system. Its some flaws as all systems do, but its richness for me is when I have undergone trials by the power of Christ’s benefits He won for His people. Part Three is doctrinally weighted for overcoming any malady, especially combat traumatic stress or P.T.S.D. What I propose in this work goes beyond telling a hurting veteran and spouse they need Jesus. I tell them why He is their only and best hope by informing them He supplies all they need to meet the distresses He Himself has brought to them.

This book is my witness to the work of Christ in and on my life since my first distressing encounter with the effects of my dad’s war and my own combat. I extend to you an invitation to examine my research and biblical grasp of the issues germane to this troubling topic. Your biggest problem is not combat traumatic stress. Your biggest problem is Him not knowing you savingly.

Semper fi in Jesus.

Jim Carmichael Ph.D.

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PART ONE

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HOW COMBAT STRESS

IS DEFINED TODAY

THE CHECKOUT LINE

Standing in line at the check out stand the feeling was almost unbearable, like a low electric current was flowing through my body, not enough to hurt but enough to make me really uncomfortable. The people behind me were standing way too close to me, their kid making way too much noise. I thought of the children I had seen in Iraq and how I never saw one cry, even the wounded ones. It felt like I was suffocating in the store, near panic, but I was going to maintain, I could do this, JUST BUY YOUR **** AND GET TO THE CAR! Just then was when the boy behind me popped the balloon he was playing with. I was on the floor, clawing at the fake marble colored tiles, attempting to crawl under a magazine rack. I may have yelled INCOMING. I don’t know, but when I came back into my body everyone was looking at me.

I WANT TO GIVE SOMEONE HOPE.

Katie joined the Army when she was 17. She was young and trusting. But when she was raped by a military superior, she felt alone and confused. She began having nightmares and found herself crying at the drop of a hat. She avoided relationships of any sort, afraid to trust again. The difficulties continued even after her discharge. Katie talks about how bad it got for her and her family. All of the Veterans talk about how PTSD affects the people they love.

I’d go grocery shopping at night when my kids were asleep, safely tucked in. I’d go then so I could have some peace and not worry about being in constant human contact. It was a safe place for me to be, in my head, or so I thought.

"I had to be a mom but then I suffered a triggering event that spiraled into a big breakdown for me. I would wake up in the morning and open one eye and go, ugh, again? Am I still here?

I was really depressed. But I had to go downstairs and make breakfast for my kids. I had to get my bearings again.

Katie knew she needed help but was afraid to go to V.A. because she thought it was part of the military, and it would trigger her traumatic military experiences.

"I was afraid of the chauvinism.

But the V.A. doctors were really super understanding. I was able to see that PTSD is a recognized disorder and that there are ways to treat me for that.

Today, Katie doesn’t have to wait for the kids to go to sleep so she can go shopping at night.

"Since I’ve sought treatment, I’ve been able to go to the grocery store with my kids. I can go to the swimming pool with them and let them play. And once I’ve done it, well, that’s a big deal. Because I’ve done it and I’m able to do it again. And it just becomes a non-issue.

I AM A VETERAN OF SEVERAL TRIPS TO IRAQ

"I have been diagnosed with fairly severe PTSD (I can still function and work (some days I have to go and sit in my car because I just feel out of control of my own emotions (God bless my boss who knows about my situation but employs me and covers for me), but there are usually several days a month where my wife has to make sure she and my toddler son basically need to stay away from me because I can get pretty emotionally unstable for reasons I still can’t explain because I have yet to really put a better finger on my triggers). After leaving the military, I spent almost a decade f&#king, fighting, and having random emotionally erratic episodes and just chalking it up to drinking (I became a drunk) and partying (my family and friends noticed a marked difference in me, but were too worried to mention it to me (temper issues).

It wasn’t until I left my psycho, alcoholic ex-gf (nothing worse than living in a co-dependent bubble that you don’t even know you’re in), that I found someone (my wife) and I learned normal human f&#king behavior and how love should actually work. I cut back on my partying and stopped fighting (still working on the drinking), but when my wife got pregnant I started to have REALLY LOW lows (did some things I am not proud of over there. You really can’t explain what it is like to do certain things unless your audience has some experience with it, and it is also kind of heart breaking (I took no joy in it) to try and explain those things to an audience that likely has no sympathy for it and nor should they), and called the Veteran’s Crisis Line when I felt I wasn’t worth a damn as a parent/human and didn’t deserve a healthy wife, child and family (I can’t emphasize how great this number is if you really need help or just someone to talk to: 1-800-xxx-xxx5 24/7) because I was just completely lost.

GETTING OUT OF THE CAR

"A few years after I left the military, my wife and I moved to Kennedale, TX. General Dynamics hired me as a Non-Destructive Test Specialist to check for cracks on the wing-pivot assembly for the F-111 all-weather fighter-bomber. Working on the wing pivot was easy compared with coming home to a wife and baby. Too many days after I walked in the front door and set all my things down, I didn’t want Catherine talking to me. I didn’t want to have to spend time with this little human that looked terribly like me when I was his age.

There I lay in the floor staring at the ceiling working hard at being oblivious to anyone else. This of course hurt my wife because she had been cooped" up all day with this little person and she wanted adult conversation. I had none to give her. If we were supposed to go to her parent’s home that night, I could barely change my clothes. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. It was actually painful some days to speak.

When we arrived at Catherine’s parents, I was not going to open that car door so that I could exit the vehicle. In due course, her mother came walking out to the car and started asking me why I didn’t want to come inside. I couldn’t tell her the reason because I didn’t know why. They were sure I didn’t want to be near them and that raised some suspicions that I didn’t like them or want to be with them. Nothing was farther from the truth. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, not my buddies I went to school with, no one. That inner dread keeping me bunkered in my body had its own time frame and no one could alter it. In time, whatever bound me would finally let up and I could stand being around my wife, in-laws, friends, etc., for a little while. That internal wall stayed with me for decades and I learned to pay attention to it and was able to glean a lot of information each time it came calling.

P.T.S.D. CRITERION

Criterion A: stressor

The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, as follows: (one required)

a. Direct exposure.

b. Witnessing, in person.

c. Indirectly, by learning that a close relative or close friend was exposed to trauma. If the event involved actual or threatened death, it must have been violent or accidental.

d. Repeated or extreme indirect exposure to aversive details of the event(s), usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, collecting body parts; professionals repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). This does not include indirect non-professional exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures.

Criterion B: intrusion symptoms

The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in the following way(s): (one required)

Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive memories. Note: Children older than six may express this symptom in repetitive play.

Traumatic nightmares. Note: Children may have frightening dreams without content related to the trauma(s).

Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) which may occur on a continuum from brief episodes to complete loss of consciousness. Note: Children may reenact the event in play.

Marked physiologic reactivity after exposure to trauma-related stimuli.

Criterion C: avoidance

Persistent effortful avoidance of distressing trauma-related stimuli after the event: (one required)

a. Trauma-related thoughts or feelings.

b. Trauma-related external reminders (e.g., people, places, conversations, activities, objects, or situations).

Criterion D: negative alterations in cognitions and mood

Negative alterations in cognitions and mood that began or worsened after the traumatic event: (two required)

a. Inability to recall key features of the traumatic event (usually dissociative amnesia; not due to head injury, alcohol, or drugs).

b. Persistent (and often distorted) negative beliefs and expectations about oneself or the world (e.g., I am bad, The world is completely dangerous).

c. Persistent distorted blame of self or others for causing the traumatic event or for resulting consequences.

d. Persistent negative trauma-related emotions (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame).

e. Markedly diminished interest in (pre-traumatic) significant activities.

f. Feeling alienated from others (e.g., detachment or estrangement).

g. Constricted affects: persistent inability to experience positive emotions.

Criterion E: alterations in arousal and reactivity

Trauma-related alterations in arousal and reactivity that began or worsened after the traumatic event: (two required)

a. Irritable or aggressive behavior

b. Self-destructive or reckless behavior

c. Hyper-vigilance

d. Exaggerated startle response

e. Problems in concentration

f. Sleep disturbance

Criterion F: duration

Persistence of symptoms (in Criteria B, C, D, and E) for more than one month).

Criterion G: functional significance

Significant symptom-related distress or functional impairment (e.g., social, occupational).

Criterion H: exclusion

Disturbance is not due to medication, substance use, or other illness. Specify if: With dissociative symptoms. In addition to meeting criteria for diagnosis, an individual experiences high levels of either of the following in reaction to trauma-related stimuli:

a. Depersonalization: experience of being an outside observer of or detached from oneself (e.g., feeling as if this is not happening to me or one were in a dream).

b. Derealization: experience of unreality, distance, or distortion (e.g., things are not real).

Among these criterion listed above, I would like to elaborate upon Criterion H: exclusion, and b. Derealization: experience of unreality, distance, or distortion (e.g., things are not real). In terms of these symptoms, what I have experienced can best be described as the existence of a transparent wall existing between himself and those not having undergone psychological change or damage.

PTS/D so often involves a change in personality due to prolonged exposure to non-standard life experiences. During a traumatic event, you think that your life or others’ lives are in danger. You may feel afraid or feel that you have no control over what is happening around you. Most people have some stress-related reactions after a traumatic event; but, the evidence suggests that not everyone gets PTS/D. If a person’s reactions do not go away over time and they disrupt one’s life, they may have PTS/D.

DEFINING PTS/D

In January 2017, Dr. Ranna Parekh, M.D., M.P.H. of the American Psychiatric Association defined PTS/D as: a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/ combat, rape or other violent personal assault. The American Psychiatric Association defines P.T.S.D. as a psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat, or rape or who have been threatened with death, sexual violence or serious injury.

QUESTIONS FOR REVIEW

1. In the first four anecdotes of veterans, do any of them fit you or what you have experienced? If so, how?

2. Do you despair over your traumatic stress?

3. Do any of the trauma criterion fit you?

4. Which one/s?

5. Do you agree or disagree with Dr. Ranna Parekh’s definition of P.T.S.D.?

6. Do you believe you have or might have traumatic stress?

7. If you are married or engaged, how have the effects of your experiences affected your wife? Children?

8. If the effects are negative, has anything helped to alleviate the consequences?

9. Has the impact of your tour of combat led to separation or divorce?

10. What steps have you taken to get help?

11. Has the V.A. helped?

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SOMEWHERE IN THE DMZ . . .

Somewhere in the Demilitarized Zone (hereafter D.M.Z.; the buffer zone between North and South Vietnam) in South Vietnam in the fall of 1968, Echo Company participated in a battalion-sized operation. Echo’s task was to attack a numbered hill on a map. Unfortunately, I have trouble remembering anything about the hump to and up that hill. The D.M.Z. was composed mostly of steep hills and jungle. The North Vietnamese Army (hereafter N.V.A.) had carved wood or stone steps into the hills and mountains to transport military material from North into South Vietnam.

Since I was in mortars, my position in the first platoon was usually somewhere in the middle. By the time our mortar squad began its movement up this particular hill, the Company Commander (C.O.), Executive Officer (X.O.) Company Gunnery Sergeant (Gunny), along with much of the first platoon, was already well up the hill searching for the enemy.

The ascent toward the enemy, fifty to sixty-foot tall trees, grew, spaced between ten to fifteen feet apart, resembling branchless telephone poles. Above thirty feet above my head, large, sturdy branches covered with green leaves spread themselves out from their trunks. These trees completely concealed the enemy or friendly troop movement from the prying eyes of aerial forward observers. From those branches, descended hundreds of long, thorny vines. As we moved up the hill, these sharp, thorned creepers entangled themselves with our gear, faces, jungle utilities, helmets, bare skin, and anything else to which they might a-fix themselves.

In a matter of minutes, everyone in our mortar squad was entangled and bleeding, not from shrapnel or rifle rounds, but from the thorny vines. There was no way to escape them, and moving up that hill became non-existent. N.V.A. mortar rounds started dropping like raindrops, killing or wounding many of the men ahead of us.

Those vines cut my exposed and unexposed skin, my pack, and canteen covers. As the rounds crept closer to our mortar squad, most of us threw our bodies flat on the deck. As I recall, the muddy jungle floor allowed very little sunlight to filter through the tree branches and down onto the ground. So, there I lay, with my squad, face down in the mud, contemplating what it must feel like to be blown up by a mortar round or two. The screams of wounded Marines and their immediate cries of Corpsman Up! echoed up and down that hill, intermixed with the sounds of exploding mortar rounds, machine gun bullets, rifle rounds, men barking orders, and radio chatter. It was madness, orchestrated madness.

I remember that event as the most scared I’d been in Vietnam and my life to that point. I’m sure there were other hills just as terrible as this one, but this event stands out. I have no idea how long I lay there before I heard one of the enemy rounds explode way too close behind me. It didn’t detonate harmlessly but made contact with one of the new Navy Corpsmen replacements’ chest. That particular round destroyed his chest cavity, but somehow simultaneously, I heard the air in his lungs forced through his mouth, making an indescribably horrible death type of sound. I can hear it to this day.

Every enemy round wreaked havoc in my company, finding a living target and then destroying it. The Corpsman’s death so near behind me forced reality into sharp relief: they had the same range now to kill me. My time was next. But I couldn’t move ahead or backward because of the vines. Just where were we supposed to go? The jungle swallowed up our mortar squad and lacerated it while entangling it to its destruction. This deadly context is how I was about to die. I had survived 77 days at Khe Sanh, and I was a dead man now, trapped like a rat. Who would replace me?

After eight or nine months into my tour in Vietnam, I had reached the inescapable conclusion that I was not as invincible as I’d believed myself to be. I was disposable, little more than a serial number on a Dog Tag. On this numbered hill, and this impossible situation, the jungle had captured and held me so I could be blown apart, splattered all over the immediate area. Somewhere in all this death, pandemonium, chaos, noise, and insanity, I wondered how little of me might be to put in a box and sent home to my parents and dog? Not much, if any.

There in the mud, I had my first serious conversation with God. I believed there was a God, and right now appeared to be a perfect time for a tet-a-tet. I didn’t know if He would listen to me, but maybe this might be my lucky day. I put a lot of my sinful behavior on the trading block in that jungle. I prayed, God, if you get me out of this, I promise not to get drunk anymore, not to swear anymore, not to do terrible things anymore, etc. I was as earnest as I had ever been.

I don’t know how long I lay there, maybe a few minutes. Somebody above the rank of Private yelled for us to start backing up. We needed to get the wounded out. I thought that was a marvelous idea, so I attempted to free myself from the vines clutching me. We all did.

The mortar squad leader and the A-gunner ahead of me extricated themselves from the vines and made a bee-line in my direction. I had no choice but to get untangled and move now! I struggled with the vines, and the more I moved out of their grasp, the more they cut me and the bloodier I became if that were possible. I pulled with all my might, even though the vines ripped and tore and cut me. Miraculously, the vines’ thorns released me, and I moved with the herd even though the rounds kept tearing into our ranks.

As I turned to move out of the killing zone, I saw the remains of the Navy Corpsman. His upper body resembled a glob of ground chuck you see in the grocery store’s meat department. His various internal organs spread about him, discarded and ripped to shreds. I moved past him until the mortar rounds finally stopped exploding. Within the span of about ten or so minutes, those N.V.A. gunners chewed up Echo Co. They had reduced us to a leaderless company of Marines. We needed replacements quickly if we were to take that hill. I don’t remember what happened after that. That night we slept on the top of a mountain in the rain—the U.S.S. New Jersey fired her guns over our heads. My goodness, what devastation those rounds made. Two thousand pounds of explosives and steel create a freight train sound as they pass over you. The hole in the ground they created at detonation is something to behold.