Finding Beauty in My Brokenness

By C. K. Tuttle

We all have secret struggles we feel we cannot talk about with anyone else. These challenges can sometimes hold us back, strip us of joy, and leave us questioning God’s love and faithfulness. Because these obstacles may cause disgrace or embarrassment, we keep them to ourselves. Unfortunately, these secrets often leave us feeling lonely, empty, and craving a friend who will listen without judgment and offer support.
In an inspirational retelling, C. K. Tuttle details her journey through her darkest valley, a crippling mental health diagnosis, causing her world to crumble. Experience her lowest lows and cheer during her miraculous healing. Be inspired as she bravely shatters the stigma and begins to find the beauty in her brokenness. Tuttle will encourage you with scripture and equip you with tools that help her remain healthy and strong.
Finding Beauty in My Brokenness is the true story of one woman’s mental health battle as she embarked on a transformative, faith-driven journey to discover the beauty behind her diagnosis.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664249516

C. K. Tuttle

C. K. Tuttle is passionate about spreading God’s love and testifying to His faithfulness. She holds a Bachelor of Science in education and a Master of Education in administration. Tuttle spent ten years teaching middle school mathematics before God called her out of the classroom and into new ministry opportunities. She resides in Texas with her husband and two children.

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Copyright © 2021 C. K. Tuttle.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

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Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TPT are from The Passion Translation®. Copyright © 2017, 2018 by Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ThePassionTranslation.com.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4952-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4953-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-4951-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021923125

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/24/2021

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Postpartum Panic

Chapter 2 Roller Coaster of Emotions

Chapter 3 A Perfect Storm

Chapter 4 The Diagnosis

Chapter 5 Miracles

Chapter 6 Back to the Classroom

Chapter 7 Jesus, Jazzercise, and Java

Chapter 8 Road to Remission

Chapter 9 Shattering the Stigma

Appendix

Introduction

I am broken. There is a piece of me that will never be the same. I spent a total of twenty-one days in behavioral hospitals one fateful summer. I had to start seeing a psychiatrist at the age of thirty. At first, I was ashamed and wondered how I ended up there. I felt as though I should be able to handle the stresses of daily life like all the other moms, but instead I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The chemicals in my brain had decided to play tricks on me. I had a new identity, an ugly label, and a nagging self-judgment. I felt like my life had shattered, and it would never be the same.

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

God’s promise in 2 Corinthians helped me understand that my weakness and my brokenness could bring me closer to Him. It took time for me to find myself again and come to grips with my new normal: the meds, the counseling, the stigma. But God’s grace was sufficient. His power was truly made perfect in my weakness. He started giving me the courage to share my testimony in small group settings. He proved over and over that my story was offering hope to others. I could feel God’s love flowing and moving through me, like a vessel for His kingdom. I knew that it couldn’t end there. He wanted me to do more.

Dear reader, it is out of obedience to my Lord and Savior that I write this book for you. My prayer is that it will offer some type of encouragement to those who might be suffering in silence. You are not alone. Whatever battles you face today, you have a God with an overwhelming, never-ending, reckless kind of love for you. It is my hope that my story will show you a glimpse of His faithfulness. Through my story, I hope you experience the miracle of how God pulled me out of a messy pit, and how He continues to give me strength to press ahead. I will offer tools that help me fight life’s daily battles, and I will share scripture that speaks truth and empowerment into my life. Through my brokenness, I have found beauty. God created me in His image, and I will use my brokenness as an ember to ignite hope in this dark world. I will turn my mess into a message of the redeeming power of His love. Keeping my story to myself simply seems selfish, because my Almighty Savior deserves to be praised