Summary of Bobi Conn's In The Shadow Of The Valley

By IRB Media

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.

Book Preview: #1 As a child, I was often quiet. I did not speak much, and I remember feeling shame and fear when my parents would ask me to do something. I would wait for moments to pass, for the confusion to subside, for the adults around me to say, Everything is okay.

#2 The word whore is a slur against women, and I learned about it as a child growing up in a home with few attempts to censor the vulgarities of the world. I was afraid to call my grandmother such an ugly name.

#3 I learned that if I felt pretty or stylish, something was wrong. If I wanted to look cute, like everyone else always seemed to look with their nice clothes and nice hair and nice smiles, shame would follow.

#4 I was a child who did not speak up, and as an adult, I did not. I had to watch my friends become my ex-husband’s friends and feel their affection for me diminish. I had to learn the most important lesson I had learned as a child: to be quiet.

• Language: English
• Publisher: IRB Media
• Release date: Feb 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669349327

IRB Media

With IRB books, you can get the key takeaways and analysis of a book in 15 minutes. We read every chapter, identify the key takeaways and analyze them for your convenience.

Book preview

Insights from Chapter 1

#1

As a child, I was often quiet. I did not speak much, and I remember feeling shame and fear when my parents would ask me to do something. I would wait for moments to pass, for the confusion to subside, for the adults around me to say, Everything is okay.

#2

The word whore is a slur against women, and I learned about it as a child growing up in a home with few attempts to censor the vulgarities of the world. I was afraid to call my grandmother such an ugly name.

#3

I learned that if I felt pretty or stylish, something was wrong. If I wanted to look cute, like everyone else always seemed to look with their nice clothes and nice hair and nice smiles, shame would follow.

#4

I was a child who did not speak up, and as an adult, I did not. I had to watch my friends become my ex-husband’s friends and feel their affection for me diminish. I had to learn the most important lesson I had learned as a child: to be quiet.

Insights from Chapter 2

#1

I had to learn that not everyone could relate to the things I took for granted as a child. I had to understand that not everyone could understand the things I had gone through.

#2

I had a very difficult time trusting my own judgment as a child, and I eventually learned to ignore it and trust the man telling me to trust him.

#3

I was five the first time I tasted beer, and I was embarrassed because it was mixed with my mom’s liquor. My father would give me beer to make me sleep, and I didn’t want to get in trouble by saying no.

#4

I had a brother who was born one year and four days after me. We were Irish twins, and I always felt the lack of love and attention that came from having two children. I often blamed my little brother for the pain that set in at an early age.

#5

I grew up in a poor family, and although I didn't understand the word poverty back then, I could feel the difference between our house and that of my grandmother. I always hoped my father would change, but he never did.

#6

I grew up in a house without central air-conditioning, only a window air conditioner in the living room. We kept the doors open when it was